Breaking it down - describe the Femme that you are

[betenoire]

First, a RULE. Oh yes, a Rule. If you break it I will snatch you bald-headed.

You are to only speak about yourself and what you are. You are not permitted to frame your Femmeness in what you are not. If the Femme that someone else is is different from the Femme that you are is - good. That's how it's supposed to be. That's how individuality works. Your Femme and my Femme being different does not de-femme either of us.

Let's roll.

(I would go first, but I have to pee like you wouldn't believe. And I want more coffee.)

[betenoire]

I am rough and tumble. I can walk up to my 3rd floor apartment (no elevators!) with a pack on my back, a dufflebag over each shoulder, and a suitcase in each hand without breaking a sweat. If there's only one of something left and we both want it, I will offer to arm wrestle you for it. And I'll probably win.

I am clear lipgloss, black liquid eyeliner, and chipped nailpolish. I'm busy, okay? 5 days a week I am ponytails and no makeup at all. I don't look "better" with cosmetics on, I only look "different". I love flipflops, polkadots, OPI, vintage, short short bangs, knee-length skirts, cardigans, and chunky glasses. I will gleefully flip you off with one hand while fixing my lipgloss with the other.

I am self-sufficient. If I let you open the door for me or carry my books between classes - it's because I LET you. I'm doing you a much bigger favour than you are doing for me....believe me. I like my control. It's mine. If I give any of it up to you - you should probably feel pretty fucking special.

I am my father's daughter. Stubborn, opinionated, pottymouthed. If I hate you, I hate you for life. I remember what you did to me in the 4th grade and I do not want to add you on facebook.

I am a Gemini. I want to talk to you for hours provided we can change the topic of conversation every 3.5 minutes. I want you to like me, to really really like me. OOOOOOH glittery object! What was your name, again?

I am a whirlwind of contradictions. Totally badass but easily injured. Strong, fast, easily bored....but lazy. It is very important to me that there is always filtered water in the apartment, but not at all important to me that I remember to refill the Brita.

I am rock and roll. I know that David Bowie is god, and that early Johnny Cash is some of the most important music ever made. I love Morrissey when he's mean, not so much when he's sad. If the dj is playing music I like I'll be the first person on the dancefloor and the last person off it. I don't care that my hair is wet with sweat - I have some very important energy to burn. I think dancing is a solitary sport - I do not want to dance -with- you. I only want to dance -near- you.

My carbon footprint is tiny. My actual footprint, too.

[SuperFemme]

I'm a versatile and fluid kind of a Femme. I have strong opinions, and am not afraid to learn something or say that I am wrong.

I am all over the place willy nilly when it comes to what I choose to clothe myself in. I may get resentful when expectations are made regarding this.

I love my energy yet protect it all in one breathe. I love to love. I am fiercely loyal. The Femmes in my life are far more important to me than the butches in my life. I value those connections too, but have a tendency to hoard my Femme confidantes in a way that is just for us.

I drive a hybrid, recycle and take in strays (of both the human and animal variety). My carbon footprint in shrinking and my cankles are growing thanks to cancer. I'm cool with that. I am ready to die and plan to make sure those that love me have a great big party when that day comes.

I am all kinds of supporting roles: Mom, Sister, Daughter, Wife, Ally...the list is long. I am none of these things because I am Femme yet I am Femme when doing these things. One does not make the other for me.

I am raising a son and I love the males in my life. A lot. I protect that love as fiercely as I go after a pair of patent leather boots at a Barneys sale.

I am an original and there is no mold to break. I just am a Femme.

[Chancie]

Who the hell knows what kind of femme I am, but I was miserable when I thought I lost my hot pink graphing calculator, and I am generally happier when my nails are done. I have several goals to reach before I turn 50, and one of them is starting a robotics program at the high school where I teach math, and another is growing my well cared for hair to my waist.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41-Sq8ouGbL._SL500_.jpg

[diamondrose]

I am a product of my mother- independent, particular about my kitchen,self sufficent, simple kind of woman, cherishing the simple pleasure in life.

I am a collector of many things colorful and flat goofie. I am a good time, a sure laugh, a ray of light on a gloomy day. I can strike a conversation with anyone easily and am that personality they can take to

I am that friend my femme friends can always count on to be there.

I am fiercly loyal, considerate, and highly intune to people
I am opionated , strong, and sure in what I believe in and passionate about things I hold closest to my heart like fairness in the world and animal rights.

I am that old fashion type house wife with a job. I am a cooker, nurturer, care giver in my palace called home.

I am not perfect and am okay with that. I face my battles and accept my outcomes with my chin held high

I am that dolled up woman on a friday night evening dinner and that barbuecing, fishing, camping, shorts and tee girl on a saturday summer afternoon

I am me

[Heart]

I am femme in an energistic, individual, idiosyncratic, inconsistent, natural, performative, deeply personal way.

I am also femme in a historical, social, political, cultural, community context.

[Gemme]

I am a Gemini femme in every way.

I bore easily.

I love the shinies and sparklies.

I give 100% when I dive into something. Of course, when I lose interest and embark on another venture, I give that one 100% too.

One of the most hurtful comments someone ever made to me was that I bored them. I take great pride in bringing excitement and variety to someone's life, even if things aren't always hunky dory, so that really hit me hard and deep.

I go from 0 to 60 in .2 seconds. I am Italian and have that temperament. Little stuff blows over quickly and without damage. Big stuff simmers like a pot of sauce for a long time and when I'm done, prepare for the big kaboom.

One minute, I am demure and soft and sweet and the next, I am crass and mean and sassy. Contradictions, yes. I have them. Embody them.

Terms used to describe me (by myself and others) include: finicky, selfish, giving, funny, bright, loud, quiet, vulnerable, defensive, annoying, pleasant, driven, lazy, chunky, tiny, private, open, fearless, scared shitless, bold, shy, talented, dramatic, wallflower, spirited, an emotional void, as well as umpteen others. I'm sure this has cleared up any questions one might have about who I am. :blink:

There are always multiple streams of thought in my head. I see every situation from multiple angles and, while I attempt to wade through the variables, people often assume I am wishy washy. I'm not...usually. I just want to make the very best decision and/or choice possible. Some times that takes time.

I have control issues. When I feel control is being taken from me, without my consent and without negotiation, I throw up walls.

I firmly believe in the mantra *my body, my choice*. I determine who and what touch my body and in what capacity. If someone doesn't respect that and my body, then it will be my choice to knock them on their ass. Despite my short stature, I am perfectly capable of doing just that.

While I am perfectly capable of many things, I derive pleasure from people doing things for me. Not because they think they should, but because they want to, and I want to do things for them. It's a cycle that, once in motion, is mutually symbiotic. I am his Princess; he is my Prince.

Music is life. I, literally and absolutely, would not be here...typing this...breathing air...without it. I don't care what anyone thinks, but I know for a fact that Madonna saved my life and, in return, she gets at least 15 songs on my MP3, always and forever. Even with over 1300 songs on it, that is devotion, man.

I have eclectic tastes. Musically, I love Madonna, Kelly Clarkson, Aretha, Marvin Gaye, Christina Aguilera, Nickelback, Daughtry, Disturbed, Rob Thomas, TSO, Tina Arena, Chaka Khan, Adam Lambert, 3 Doors Down, *Nsync, Timbaland, Missy Elliott, Annie Lennox/Eurythmics, Bianca Ryan, Black Eyed Peas, Carrie Underwood, Britney, Deborah Gibson, DJ Laz, Faith Hill, God-des and She, Hilary Duff, Leona Lewis, Maroon 5, Prince, Rick Spingfield, Rick James, James Brown, Three Days Grace, Vanessa Hudgens, Ciara, Everlife and about 5000 other singers, musicians, bands and groups.

I rarely have one favorite of anything. Mostly, it's my top 3 faves. I do have a favorite movie though. I decided, as a child watching it, that that was going to be my favorite and it was done.

I compartmentalize things very well.

I am a referential artist and crafter, though my skill level is minimal.

I never know what to say to someone when they suffer a great loss. I feel helpless in situations in which I don't know what the 'right' thing to do or say is.

I often end my sentences with prepositions and I don't care, even though I fancy myself a writer on occasion and am kind of a grammar snob (but only about certain things).

I am Wonderland and sometimes, I feel like Alice, lost deep within myself.

[femmedyke]

I am a total sweetheart with a bit of an edge; I hold doors, carry packages for old folks and smile at absolute strangers. I will also key your car if you look at me like that again, fucking creep.

When we watch the show “What would you do?” I can say that I would speak up on all scenarios about 99.75% of the time.

I’m wicked mouthy and have a sharp tongue but I’ll take it back if I make you cry.

I dig humanity, but its people I don’t really care for much; still, I never give up on them.

I do my best everyday to be mindful of our planet; be it recycling, buying local and organic or not shopping at big chain stores – I would like to think I can make a difference.

I cuss too much, laugh even more and cry more than that.

I can’t cook… I actually loathe it but will marathon bake at weird times during the year. (Maybe just so I can wear my red apron.)

I am short, busty and when I turned thirty I grew hips; these days I rather like them but I didn't so much when they showed up.

I rock short hair, dark lips and most recently, I fell in love with my eyelash curler. I prefer a rounded toe in heels but fucking love a chunky boot. I don’t wear a lot of jewelry, just sentimental pieces.

I have a flair for the dramatics and often live with my head in the clouds.

[read: flaky]

[The_Lady_Snow]

I am strong and gentle, I am fire and ice, I am kind and firm, I am Master, Daddy and a Mother. I am loyal and at times sensitive. I am a proud Leather Femme that protects her pack fiercely.

I am sister, mother, daughter and friend, I am loyal to each of these people of my life. I am dirty, mean, sadistic, and nasty when in my leather space, I am masculine and feminine as I swing.

I am a cock yielding, fuck you raw, make you cry kind of femme. I am Owner,
lover, confidant and oh yes I am curvy.

I am sexy, confident, unapologetic, non conforming in your face kinda bitch. I am twisted and sweet.

I am Sephora, NASCAR, football, laying in bed during a thunderstorm alone and enjoying life till the fullest because I am complete and need no one to validate my femme.

I am soft music, slow grinding on the dance floor, pin you on your back as a fuck you slowly and beg for more.

I am proud and honored to have the femme friends I have and would give my right arm for them.

I am soft laughter, talking all night, slap you in the face, and hold you tight when a storm comes in.

I am Alpha and for some Omega.

I am

Femme

Queer, Kinky, Raw

Femme.

[Nat]

I wear makeup a few times a week and sometimes I shave my legs. My clothes are XXL and generally soft and eccentric and I'm growing my hair out. On the inside, I'm kinda gothy bohemian kittenish mermaidish person, but I'm not sure how much of that translates. My eccentricity comes across, from what I understand. I'm switchy, witchy, activist, feminist, lesbian, always growing or at least trying to.

I'm physically strong and wouldn't mind being stronger. I have a strong mother-bear side and then there's a part of me that's still a kid too. I do have a somewhat logical brain, but I am more intuitive/emotional/creative in general. I'm sensitive - which is good and bad. But then there are times when I'm insensitive, and those times are the ones I generally regret most.

I'm in a place lately where I'm just not so concerned at the moment with my place/niche in the world or in the community. I just seem to be seeking and maintaining peace inside myself. I just kinda feel like: take me or leave me as I am. I just want to be myself.

[TickledPink]

:deepthoughts:
Always thinking. Maybe too much. Perhaps not enough.
I am a femme with no OFF switch.
Curious and not afraid to ask a question. Maybe afraid of the answers....
Sweet, polite and refined, unless you fuck with me or someone I love.
Totally un-refined and laid back with those I trust.
Girlie, whether in a dress or a ballcap.
I crave fear but I'm afraid.
I love music; reading, writing, playing, listening.
If you sing to me and feel it? You've captured my soul.
I love makeup or I can go without it. I'm still me.
I love heels as much as I love my flip-flops.
I'm addicted to CHERRY chapstick. No other flavor will do.
I am bubbly. Kinky. Shy. Not shy. Rough. Soft. Gentle. Strong.
Raw.
Always dreaming of a better moment, but always happy in the one I'm in.

[Spirit Dancer]

I am femme from sun up to sun down
Someone's Mother, Partner, Daughter, Sister
and Friend.
Fierce and Loyal, Proud of who I am
I Cherish those close to me and protect
them as I do my own.
I'm a femme warrior, a medicine woman
some say two spirited, I am
fire and water.
I am me therefore I am femme.

[ravfem]

i am shy & outgoing, mellow & hyped up, love my alone time & always look forward to socializing.

i am a feminist. i am a 50's housewife. i am outspoken. i am submissive. i decide to whom i will defer and to whom i will not.

i love music. Barry Manilow, Limp Bizkit, Prince, The Carpenters, Paula Cole, Earth, Wind & Fire, Lil Wayne, Erykah Badu, Lucy Kaplansky, Seal, Queen, Frankie Valli, Cypress Hill, Sarah Mclachlan.... the list is endless. Music soothes my soul, makes me smile, makes me cry. i am connected to music.

i love people watching, listening to conversations, trying to figure people out.

i'll answer just about any question asked of me, unless i don't want to. Then i'll smile and say it's none of your business.

i am a bleeding heart liberal who believes in the death penalty.

i am honest, open, and easy to get along with...usually.

i am a mama. a babygirl. a gemini. i will listen to your problems and issues, try to sympathize with you and then try to solve all of your issues.

i am low key, calm and some say too mellow about life. i've been called lackadaisical. i try not to focus on tomorrow or yesterday. Today is a good day to focus on. i rarely get overly excited about things, on the outside anyway.

i have a little girl inside my soul who craves to come out & play and sit with Daddy & read stories and be spoiled rotten.

i am uncomfortable with too much attention focused on me, and i love attention from people i admire & respect. i worry about Daddy spending too much money and over-using Hys hands making me gifts....and i so look forward to every package. i love that Hy spoils me, even as i fuss at Hym for doing so.

i believe it's more important to be content than it is to be happy. i believe in love, but not happily ever after.

i hate getting my hands dirty. i love unique, quirky purses and i never wear matching socks. i don't like spending money on myself (clothes, shoes, make-up), but if i won the lottery, i'd have a small house remodeled into my closet.

i am a follower, not a leader. i'm comfortable in the background. And i love going to county council meetings and speaking my mind.

i believe for the most part, people are good. Everyone has someone they love and that loves them.

i try to never judge people or decide i know what's right better than they do. i don't like being rude, online or face-to-face.

And i love smilies.

:byebye:

[Medusa]

Im a Femme!

I'm a fierce hurricane (HERicane?) and a billowy cloud, a force of nature clearing paths and gentle breeze when I'm not. I'm all at once an angel and a ghost, a rock and a chameleon, glitter and smoke, sweat and blood, anger, tears, and violently beautiful.

I am a woman, a female, the infinite wisdom of myself and all of the women before me. I am a witch, a bitch, a feverish pitch. I am heartfelt apologies and knives of "You'll never take that from me." I am a survivor, a fist jammed in the air, a take-no-prisoners "give it ALL to me" explorer of this world.

I am fat and gorgeous and sexy. I am fingernails that are sometimes dirty and sometimes blood red. I am feet that need a pedicure and feet that are hammed into amazing pointy-toed heels. I am a gray hair and red hair and freckles and moles. I am stretch marks and scars and bad knees. I am a curvy fucking V-8 body and a mouth that you want to die in.

I am perfumed and glittered. I am sweaty and grimy. I am a closet full of clothes and "nothing to wear". I am a 3-time-College-dropout but got my fucking degree after 12 years. I am a member of Mensa who sometimes can't spell the word "knowledge".

I am nightmares and dreams, poetry and songs, 'B' movies and homemade cookies. I am an artist, a lover, an over-processor and an amazing friend. I am honest and sincere and intense and silly.

I am unladylike jokes and farting on the couch when I feel like it. I am drinking from the milk jug when you aren't looking. I am "would rather die than clean up dog vomit". I am irritated but compassionate, kind but no fool, hard as fuck but a soft place to land. I am nobody's Mother, somebody's sister, your friend, Father Time, Mother Earth, AND Baby New Year.

I'm gang-raped, cancer-ridden, busted jaw, black eyes, broke down, broken, rebuilt, damaged, and came back better than you even know. I am unafraid. I am fearless. I am brave. I am never ever ever willing to lay down and let someone beat me into a box. I am jumping up to fight back. I am jumping up to demand my space. I am jumping up to beat you off of my Sisters. I am standing up when I'm told to sit. I'm always here, and always gone. I'm orbiting and static.

I am a Motherfucking Femme and my world is my own because I built it with my own blood, sweat, and tears so wipe your feet before coming into my house or I'll have to put you outside.

I am ME and I'm just fine.

[Gemme]

Im a Femme!

I'm a fierce hurricane (HERicane?) and a billowy cloud, a force of nature clearing paths and gentle breeze when I'm not. I'm all at once an angel and a ghost, a rock and a chameleon, glitter and smoke, sweat and blood, anger, tears, and violently beautiful.

I am a woman, a female, the infinite wisdom of myself and all of the women before me. I am a witch, a bitch, a feverish pitch. I am heartfelt apologies and knives of "You'll never take that from me." I am a survivor, a fist jammed in the air, a take-no-prisoners "give it ALL to me" explorer of this world.

I am fat and gorgeous and sexy. I am fingernails that are sometimes dirty and sometimes blood red. I am feet that need a pedicure and feet that are hammed into amazing pointy-toed heels. I am a gray hair and red hair and freckles and moles. I am stretch marks and scars and bad knees. I am a curvy fucking V-8 body and a mouth that you want to die in.

I am perfumed and glittered. I am sweaty and grimy. I am a closet full of clothes and "nothing to wear". I am a 3-time-College-dropout but got my fucking degree after 12 years. I am a member of Mensa who sometimes can't spell the word "knowledge".

I am nightmares and dreams, poetry and songs, 'B' movies and homemade cookies. I am an artist, a lover, an over-processor and an amazing friend. I am honest and sincere and intense and silly.

I am unladylike jokes and farting on the couch when I feel like it. I am drinking from the milk jug when you aren't looking. I am "would rather die than clean up dog vomit". I am irritated but compassionate, kind but no fool, hard as fuck but a soft place to land. I am nobody's Mother, somebody's sister, your friend, Father Time, Mother Earth, AND Baby New Year.

I'm gang-raped, cancer-ridden, busted jaw, black eyes, broke down, broken, rebuilt, damaged, and came back better than you even know. I am unafraid. I am fearless. I am brave. I am never ever ever willing to lay down and let someone beat me into a box. I am jumping up to fight back. I am jumping up to demand my space. I am jumping up to beat you off of my Sisters. I am standing up when I'm told to sit. I'm always here, and always gone. I'm orbiting and static.

I am a Motherfucking Femme and my world is my own because I built it with my own blood, sweat, and tears so wipe your feet before coming into my house or I'll have to put you outside.

I am ME and I'm just fine.

I read this as if it were spoken at a Def Jams poetry reading and it is fucking beautifully powerful.

[MrSunshine]

Im a Femme!

I'm a fierce hurricane (HERicane?) and a billowy cloud, a force of nature clearing paths and gentle breeze when I'm not. I'm all at once an angel and a ghost, a rock and a chameleon, glitter and smoke, sweat and blood, anger, tears, and violently beautiful.

I am a woman, a female, the infinite wisdom of myself and all of the women before me. I am a witch, a bitch, a feverish pitch. I am heartfelt apologies and knives of "You'll never take that from me." I am a survivor, a fist jammed in the air, a take-no-prisoners "give it ALL to me" explorer of this world.

I am fat and gorgeous and sexy. I am fingernails that are sometimes dirty and sometimes blood red. I am feet that need a pedicure and feet that are hammed into amazing pointy-toed heels. I am a gray hair and red hair and freckles and moles. I am stretch marks and scars and bad knees. I am a curvy fucking V-8 body and a mouth that you want to die in.

I am perfumed and glittered. I am sweaty and grimy. I am a closet full of clothes and "nothing to wear". I am a 3-time-College-dropout but got my fucking degree after 12 years. I am a member of Mensa who sometimes can't spell the word "knowledge".

I am nightmares and dreams, poetry and songs, 'B' movies and homemade cookies. I am an artist, a lover, an over-processor and an amazing friend. I am honest and sincere and intense and silly.

I am unladylike jokes and farting on the couch when I feel like it. I am drinking from the milk jug when you aren't looking. I am "would rather die than clean up dog vomit". I am irritated but compassionate, kind but no fool, hard as fuck but a soft place to land. I am nobody's Mother, somebody's sister, your friend, Father Time, Mother Earth, AND Baby New Year.

I'm gang-raped, cancer-ridden, busted jaw, black eyes, broke down, broken, rebuilt, damaged, and came back better than you even know. I am unafraid. I am fearless. I am brave. I am never ever ever willing to lay down and let someone beat me into a box. I am jumping up to fight back. I am jumping up to demand my space. I am jumping up to beat you off of my Sisters. I am standing up when I'm told to sit. I'm always here, and always gone. I'm orbiting and static.

I am a Motherfucking Femme and my world is my own because I built it with my own blood, sweat, and tears so wipe your feet before coming into my house or I'll have to put you outside.

I am ME and I'm just fine.


I am awestruck. Fuckin wow. Fucking beautiful!

[gotoseagrl]

good thread.

hmm. i am an old spirit and always have been. there is a sensitive place in my soul for things of the past. i am attracted to people older than myself. i consider myself very femme and am fiercely attracted to butches. i am very shy (writing this is a bit difficult, but i love the topic), reserved and introverted, though i will always find a way to be direct when i feel so compelled (see quote below). i am always very polite. i warm up easily to those with whom i effortlessly connect. i am usually "the quiet one." it is easier for me to express myself through writing or touching. in a bad situation i tend to draw into my shell at first. not a chatty type, but with the right people can spend endless hours going on and on. i am a homebody, but do love traveling. i am an over-thinker. i do believe in that space between self and thought. i am extremely passionate, but am generally not an extremist. i tend to admire passions of others whether i agree with them or not. i'm deeply moved when people are simply or unexpectedly kind and thoughtful. i am open to truth and exploration. i cannot do without honesty. i love learning. i embrace diversity. i think individuality is hot and blind conformity is not. i don't believe propriety is always necessary. i find it gratifying aligning to grids, but more aesthetically pleasing when they are broken (think David Carson & April Greiman). i am a hopeless romantic who has tried fighting it as a curse (lol). i am a marshmallow. i am very submissive and i like a clearly defined dynamic in a relationship. i love intimacy. i love partnership. i love exchanging "that glance" no matter the place. subtlety can be hot. so can raw straightforwardness. music and nature are my solace. beaches (any place with water), libraries and museums are my sanctuaries. i'm a nerd. i am hypersensitive to my environment. generally don't like big crowds or loud noises for an extreme amount of time. i love minimalism over extravagance. i love simple pleasures. i love laughing to tears. i tend to find extraordinary joy or peace in the smallest or most overlooked aspects of life. sometimes i just love darkness, silence and stillness. i am not a clothing label type of person. i'd rather shop for books or art over clothes. i don't wear fake nails, mine grow naturally. i stopped wearing makeup a few years ago but shaping eyebrows and keeping lips soft are a routine. i dress casually most of the time, but do enjoy dressing up whenever i have to. love boho style clothing and jewelry, though the only particular fashion i tend to adhere to is comfort. i love wearing long, comfy skirts, especially while treading on the shore or relaxing somewhere. i love dressing for fall & winter. i don't think i'll ever let my hair grow past my shoulders again. i prefer alternatives to fancy purses. i can be ready in less than an hour. i generally despise materialistic fluff. i don't like facades. i am a realist who loves to escape. i feel as though there are uncharted parts of my soul and can strongly sense things & places i've never truly experienced before. i am sincere.

[dixie]

I am a true Leo femme... I am definitely one of the most fiery, loud-mouthed, outspoken femmes you will ever meet...eventhough I tend to keep quiet and hide in the shadows until I feel it is my moment to shine. Had to learn the hard way not to overpower and try to take center stage...

I truly am fire and ice. I will heat to the boiling point and within mere seconds freeze solid as a stone. I can be the angriest I've ever been and in the blink of an eye be the happiest...

One day I'm rough neck, hardcore, trash-talking, foul-mouthed badass in leather and chains...next day I'm a shy, quiet wallflower in a breezy cotton jumper...day after that I'm an alluring, provocative, purring sex kitten-vixen-seductress in silk and 7-inch heels...

I am comfy: pony-tail, glasses and sweats with my nose stuck in a book...and yet I am glamourous: liquid black eyeliner, red lips, flowing almost-waist length black hair in an evening gown twirling the stem of a champagne glass between my manicured fingertips...

I am Sunday drives, picnics by the lake and hikes thru the woods...yet I am dinner parties, fund-raising galas/soirees, theatre and opera...

I'm big city woman yet oh so much small town girl...

I'm vicious and risk taking, yet compassionate and loyal...

I'm used, abused, forgotten and forsaken... I am loved, cared for, befriended and admired...

I will be your best friend or your worst enemy... your fantasy or your nightmare...

I am passion and impulse...yet I am stoic and control...

I am extremely intelligent with no common sense...yet i am common sense with not an intelligent thought floating in my head...

I will be the first to get the joke or I will laugh tomorrow at something you said yesterday...

I am so strong and so fearless...yet I am so fragile and so terrified...

I am granddaughter, daughter and mother...

I am acquaintance, friend, lover...

I am no one, yet someone...

I am so much more than this...yet sometimes nowhere near...

I am ME...nothing more...nothing less...

I am FEMME...

[AtLast]

WOW!!! This thread and the responses just RAWK!!! Thanks to all and all the new posts to come!!!

[gotoseagrl]

I'm big city woman yet oh so much small town girl...


i am both as well.


I am so strong and so fearless...yet I am so fragile and so terrified...


i find it to be quite an experience feeling so fragile while watching my breaking point stare me in the face and yet ... im still here.

[Bard]

To all the wonderfull Femmes who have posted in all your beautiful glory each amazing and touching in your own way and y'all brighten up the world simply by being you all strong proud and Femme. Thank each of you for sharing and for just being who you are

[SassyLeo]

I'm a Queer Femme. A Leo. An only child.

I am smart. More life smart and less book smart.
I'm a space cadet, sometimes an airhead and apparently off in my own little world. Maybe because instead of being punished as a child, I was told to "find something constructive to do".
I'm fierce when I want and need to be and quiet and soft when it feels right. Sometimes within a matter of minutes.
I'm unknowingly sensitive yet a crazy hard shell to break. I'm a strong boundary holder which often looks like lack of compassion.
I'll call you on your shit, sometimes whether you want to hear it or not. I'm blunt and honest and mostly in the best ways.
I make my own decisions and will ask for your input when I need it. I'm not the best at admitting I've made mistakes but I do it. Sometimes more than I'd like. But I never regret anything. Really.
I'm a loud talker, a louder laugher and have been known to watch people because I am fascinated about how others operate in the world.
I am opinionated and sometimes judgmental. I have feelings about fucked up stuff that people do. I don't like drama, but I like hearing about others'.

My dearest friends get to see my weak parts, my pains, my sad and my deepest happy.

I'm fiercely loyal to my MAC Rebel lipstick and Benefit Bad Gal Lash. They make me feel powerful and strong, showing the outside how I feel on the inside.

I also rock capri's and tanks and my love's sweatpants and t's. Sometimes I feel sexier in the latter.

I dig camping and hiking and WATERFALLS and love to take photos of random art and nature that catch my eye.

I'm a jewelry wearer, lots of it. Chunky and funky and full of color.

My dark brown curly hair is intertwined with white. Yes, I love my hair. Though I might dye it someday if the white takes over.

I rarely paint my fingernails, but pedicures are a must. Red is best. And even better in a hot pair of open toe wedge heels.

My 5'6" is full of curves; smaller waist, big butt and broad shoulders. I'm sexy in an unassuming way.

I'm Beautiful. My genes did me well. I have my papa's blue eyes and lashes, I am told are my best feature.

I'm a small town girl who grew up in a town that became a city.

I like to be courted. I like attention. I appreciate being adored, but am not a fragile pedestaled figurine. I can open the door for you just as well as you can open it for me.

I'm physically strong. Independent and self sufficient.

I am sometimes kinky. This does not mean my I am a bottom or top or sub. I can be all or none.

I'm a survivor of sexual abuse. And some fucked up relationships. But I don't give up hope for healing.

I'm the product of 2 queer parents. Raised in the 70's and 80's. My queer is deep. Like blood, sweat and tears deep. It shaped me.

My Femme is Queer. A Dyke. A Fat Femme. A Fierce Femme.

[The_Lady_Snow]

I am a proud latina.

I am perverted, nasty, kinky, sexual and Queer.

I am sad, cause I miss that little boy so much.

I am a survivor, an advocate and ally.

I am funny, smart and full of life.

I am in pain.

I am loud, opinionated, secure and scared at times.

I am love, loved and loving.

I am curves, jiggles and dips.

I am a high school drop out, self educated and intelligent.

I am mexican.

I am a bastard child.

I am holder of they key to his collar, I am holder of one's future collar.

I am phenomenal.

I am lover of pussy.

I am happy, calm, and at peace.

I am here if and when you ever need me.

I am Femme


http://community.feministing.com/2009/04/the-truth-about-femmesor-we-fu.html

[Tucker]

i am a refraction of myself.
i am bending all over with light and intensity.
my form can barely hold me still.
i wear my body as subtly as wax wears her candle.
beauty is only my perfume.
i have blue-breasted sky in my eyes.
i sing continuous, like a red-breasted robin.
i linger in the frivolous places of stillness and symphony.
the night pours on me like an isolated shower of inspiration.
i listen with the ears of a weeping willow forest.
i am lost to a delicate haze of pretty little details.
feasting on little intuitions.
spiraling into lucid dream.
a muse, touching the edge of intensity.
i am a collection of lost lovely things.
i am sympathy for psychos.
i am a reluctant angel.
i bloom nocturnal.
i am a girl.
i am a new woman.
i am a concoction of kisses and injury,
proportions constantly in flux.
i dip into wax and fantasy.
i suffer from inclinations toward deviant places
and dark angels.
i dwell on the fringes.
teetering on the last brink of sanity.
standing on the edge of reason.
violently aware of myself.
leaning out of this skin for just a taste
of indulging the gloom.
my words ring of nighttime melodies.
my voice is shed in tears of brittle starlight,
when i am alone.
desperation is silence,
arching backwards through the years.
my lips wear smudges of memory.
shades of surrender.
motion is heavy,
vacillating wildly beneath these tender feet.
i am a high contrast.
so fragile and so immense.
waves of complexity stir my universe.
i place possession above fear. always.
constellations of memory guide my way.
my recollection has a forgiving disposition.
i believe in the alchemy of love
to turn steel hearts golden.
steel is for wing-tips only.
i believe in modern romance.
and i still believe in fairytales,
after all.... I am Femme!

[Kätzchen]

I am Femme

My femme identity is marked by death-defying logic that embraces a kaleidoscope of many social constructions.

I revel in all that I am able to learn about: by either listening to or reading up on a plethora of subjects.

The more I know, the better I feel. I learn in different ways – mostly I learn by observation – noticing complexity in the way people choose to behave or communicate and because of my ardent desire to understand as fully as possible, I’ve spent most of my life in the background – not desiring foreground recognition.

I don’t need anyone to validate who I am.

I am also a mother to two sons and while it would seem that the male side of the population longs to oppress and dress down female bodied human beings, I will abandon my love for being in the background and will come out of the woodwork, with an undeniable force, and return your egregious soul to the place it belongs.

I’m a lover.

I’m a fighter.

I’m quiet; yet when I have something to say, I make sure I am heard.

I’m loyal, but when I discover non-reciprocal, inequitable relationship processes, I will cut you out of my life.

I am a survivor of many forms of abuse. I believe in checking up on my own boundary systems – because I tend to welcome exploration and discovery of things I have no knowledge of. Mostly, I feel that the wiggle room I allow for my boundaries is managed judiciously.

If I choose to share my power with you, I expect you to honor my power, as I will yours.

I like to pamper myself - my indulgences, proclivities include: wearing makeup (or not), keeping my hair coiffed beautifully, keeping my hands and feet well taken care of, and sleeping as long as I feel led to do so because I do tend to require lots of sleep – especially if I have had to stay up for long periods of time to get my duties accomplished.

I am sensual. My appetite for having sex still exists – I crave closeness, reciprocal levels of intimacy – before my sexual fire can be lit and rage out of control. My Femme being is of a Queer orientation.

I desire and require your full attention.

I am intelligent and my range of intelligence will surprise you.

I have been my best friend and confidante for years now and I care deeply for myself and how I am treated.

I am sensitive.

I can also be heartless, cold, insensitive and unfeeling, when the occasion calls for me to be this way.

I am passionate.

I am filled with compassion.

I am filled with humility by my lack of perfection and ability to be perfect.

My Femme perfection is a potent elixir. Not everyone is able to tolerate the taste of me.

But I am loved. I do love. I am liked for who I am. I am also disliked and I am okay with that.

I’m an assessor and I evaluate and process at a relentless pace. I’m also known to shut down and wall out distraction, noise that keeps me from hearing what I need to hear.

I’m fearless.

I’m not afraid to die. I have died on numerous occasions. I choose to live in the present moment.

I am known to wonder and revel in that which is deliciously intoxicating.

I am artistic – I love to draw, sing, play music, listen to music, paint, create sculpture – I appreciate art in all the forms I have discovered and enjoyed.

I love to cook foods and prepare sumptuous meals.

I am reserved, sometimes shy. I am highly expressive under the right conditions. I am very communicative. I am expert in my field of communication.

I surprise myself and others.

I am a precious gift, unwrap me with care.

Adore me, cherish me, and recognize me as the Goddess I am, for I am: Femme.

:blueheels:

[Sachita]

I am a typical Taurus with Capricorn rising. I can be stubborn, articulate and determined. When I set my sights on something, a dream or goal, wild horses can't keep me from it. I am calculating and sometimes that works against me.

I am naturally feminine. A Goddess type woman connected to the earth and need nature to feel grounded and alive.

I went from ultra high fru-fru to basic natural. It was a transition of being comfortable with who I am as a woman and not having to make anyone happy other then myself. I am a comfortable woman/femme who dresses to please my mood and not because I have to prove how feminine I am.

I am a shit kicking, opinionated, fiery femme that is capable, wise and secure. I know who I am, what I want and what I don't want.

[Soft*Silver]

I am the honey on your peanut butter kind of femme..

[Lady Pamela]

I am a proud mother of 5 and grandmother of 12.
I am a sister of 13 siblings.
I have a compassionate, loving, caring spirit which I love to share.
I look at life as though a child, as not to miss the magic and
beauty and miracles children have not forgotten to see.

I am the child, the girl, the woman and the crone.
I am a believer in all that is true and cannot be broken down.
I am Pisces
I am a star gazer, moon watcher,sun dancer and make images out of the clouds.

I am a teacher.
I am the student.
I am the seeker.
I am a survivalist
I am the camper
I am the explorer
I am Yin and Yang

I am silly and love to joke around and play.
I dance to the beat of my own drum!
I am a hippie, witch, psychic medium, empathic healer, biker chick.
I am multifaceted in ever area of my life.
I am the protector of those I love or those who are not able to protect themselves.

I love to laugh and make others laugh and smile.
I love great conversation over a cup of coffee.
I am a hopeless even corny romantic.
I love to be romanced.
I love to create things with my hands.
I love working with tools and building things.
I am a dancer, singer and music lover on a huge scale.
I am a survivor Not a victim of cancer, many different types of abuse, being burnt by a fire, loosing a step child.

I have been and activist and would be again if needed.
I am strong in nature
I am a thinker
When struck wrong I do voice myself..Sometimes loudly
I am a devoted sister both to my siblings and those I call sister/brother.

I embrace my feminine side
I am sugar and spice and everything nice.
But I also have a bold side
I am at times..Short fused
I get angry
I can be like drinking a cup of straight lemmon juice if provoked.
I am naughy and nice.
I am right, and I am wrong

I get sad and sorrowful
I get lonely
I despise lies..yet have been the liar
I am addict but Oct 10th will be 20 years clean
I am a sexual creature
I get embarrassed easily
I don't like to be put on the spot
When backed into a corner, I become the cougar
If someone harms my loved ones, My claws and teeth appear. And my wild nature shows itself.

I give my all to those who treat me with respect and dignity
I am one to be trusted with anything
I am a giver as well as a receiver

Just to name a few,
Because I am endless in who I am, for I am a forever changing Femme


Proud Femme!
http://i210.photobucket.com/albums/bb218/commentsjunkie/gaymix/proud-yingyang-4.gif

[shadows papa]

I just read this thread in its entirety to date and am totally blown away. The raw unveiling of self posted by everyone here in affirmation of what makes them the femmes they are...it is PRICELESS.Thank you to every lady,woman,femme that has written the words of their hearts and souls for the entire community to share.Y'ALL RAWK!!! Shad

[Lady Pamela]

What a powerful thread !

Thanks for creating it!

[apretty]

You are to only speak about yourself and what you are. You are not permitted to frame your Femmeness in what you are not.


i love your mind, i want to lick it.



so, i've stayed away from this thread because it's nearly impossible for me to put into exact words what my femme is but i feel i must try and know it won't be perfect. she is hard to pin down as she side-steps being tied to just one thing.


fem/me

i'm competitive, sensitive and simultaneously obnoxious and completely surprised when i've hurt someone's feelings and taken aback when criticized because i often think i am above reproach.

i'm protective, loving, giving, maternal and territorial.

i'm evasive and persistent, i push for sheer practice.

i'm my dad's daughter, self-made with a rather large safety net and my mother's daughter, torn up and ripped apart before she was even old enough to drive.

i'm a lovely aunt, parading and pretending that the blonde-haired and blue-eyed beauty is my own, generous with gifts and rule-bending to a fault.

now i am 36 and i want my own daughter for many reasons including experiencing a mother-daughter relationship that i've never known. i frequently push away these feelings, hoping that they'll go away but i've made a promise to explore them for the next few weeks. i'm my harshest critic--motherhood scares me.

i've been femme since birth, most likely--without the words for why it was
so fucking important that i wear a little powder on my nose in 6th grade, and secretly shaving my legs and checking the mirror--hoping no one would see because my pending womanhood and vanity threatened my mother in ways she couldn't explain.

i went through my one and only (painful) *tomboy* period in 4th grade--i have a picture of myself someplace in the school spelling bee i have short hair and i'm wearing levis and a black member's only jacket zipped up--for years i hated that picture because it reminds me of being pulled in so many different directions, of not having anyone to talk to about body stuff or anything else... but i now recognize the ever-present jacket was my armor against the world--the same thing that red rubywoo mac lipstick does for the femme i am, today.

and as much as i want to be his bottom bitch in our private lives, my politics are my ever-present guide--i will always align myself with what i believe to be truth and justice and i'm firmly positioned under a large umbrella of militant feminism. (especially if i'm wearing short-shorts and swinging a parasol.)

i see art in things like a broken stiletto heel, an anal plug, muscle cars, diners, yellow legal pads, fat women, chicks with knives, fierce femmes, a broken heart, a good argument, foucault.

i'm a lady, i'm a tramp, i come on strong--just until it's time to pay up or shut up. yeah, i talk big --and always have an exit strategy.

i'm competent, hardcore, slutty and refined, at my discretion (i have perfect manners, my austrian grandmother and would have accepted nothing less).

i hold my Femme close to my heart, and i make this shit look easy.



.

[Sachita]

I am a typical Taurus with Capricorn rising. I can be stubborn, articulate and determined. When I set my sights on something, a dream or goal, wild horses can't keep me from it. I am calculating and sometimes that works against me.

I am naturally feminine. A Goddess type woman connected to the earth and need nature to feel grounded and alive.

I went from ultra high fru-fru to basic natural. It was a transition of being comfortable with who I am as a woman and not having to make anyone happy other then myself. I am a comfortable woman/femme who dresses to please my mood and not because I have to prove how feminine I am.

I am a shit kicking, opinionated, fiery femme that is capable, wise and secure. I know who I am, what I want and what I don't want.

Part two. Too tired last night and I ALWAYS have lots to say. Thats the kind of femme I am.

I am a natural alpha woman. As someone mentioned, I think in another thread, this Goddess thing I've got going on is more then the fact that I have a pussy. It's part of my spirituality and how i discovered the woman I am. I THRIVE on being adored and worshiped. Not just the occasional pampering but the projection of your desire showered upon me to the point that I feel as if you exist to please me at ANY capacity I see fit. I cherish you because of this. I'm not a sadist but if bit of mind fuckery and pain puts you in a space to serve me , worship me better then I will exceed your desires. My mind is kinkier then my actions. I am a Queen seeking a loyal, faithful warrior that doesn't give a shit if people judge him for kissing my ass.

I am a mother who raised an adult child who will soon be a father and I a grandmother. I raised my child giving him options to choose, no matter what path he wanted to explore, I raised him to be free to change his course whenever he needed. I've stood by in tears knowing he had to burn to learn. I raised my son to know queers, leather folk, mainstream, whatever and to also accept other lifestyles. I am my son's mother first and then his very best friend.

I am a homemaker. My home is a reflection of the woman I am and all that I strive for. I create my home for my family which also includes all my animals. I work hard to create a safe and loving space for my family and to share my home with all the people I love. I am a careful planner to protect the ones I love. Not a day goes by when this isn't consider. I am deeply maternal.

I metro city girl from Miami that had a dream to own a farm and escape the rat race to become as sustainable as possible. I bought that farm and taught myself to grow food, raise hens, care for animals and how to survive off the land. I am a good outdoors woman that can fish, camp, survive in nature. If shit hit the fan you'd definitely want me on your team. If power was lost, chaos - I have built my farm to sustain. I'm always prepared.

I am a woman that strive for peace and happiness. My journey has been long and sometimes really hard, however I have lived an extraordinary life with unreal highs and lows. Now I am a woman/femme that simple seeks peace, balance and to be happy being still.

I am blown away by all the awesome women here. I had a dream last night that we were all standing in a field talking, sharing and the energy so intense it illuminated the sky.

[chefhottie25]

I love this thread and all of the beautiful femmes who have posted here. You are all amazing and wonderful.

[tazz]

...and sometimes with boish tendencies... and always evolving.

the femme in me is a loving/loyal submissive to my leather family and the core values of the leather life... Respect, Honour, Loyalty, Obey, and to serve with Love...

the femme in me wears army boots when am with my leather family.

the femme in me wears pink flip flops when am not in army boots, or work shoes.

the femme in me is fierce, yet tenderhearted... honest... Loyal... devoted...

the femme in me has firm/hard lined boundaries

the femme in me is opinionated

the femme in me has an immense spirit, with such intense spritual energy

the femme in me is not a quitter

the femme in me is a kid at heart

the femme in me is in every sense of the word, a leather dyke.

[Mrs. Strutt]

As femme, I am...

I am many kinds of mother...to my child, to my husband when hy needs it, to my friends when the world isn't such a kind place. I have a nurturing soul, yet with a spine of steel that demands those around me stand on their own two feet.

I am by turns gentle and fierce...a Type C personality who can morph into Type A so fast, the only thing you see is the subatomic particles left by my dust.

I am quiet and proper in public and among those whom I do not know well, but loud, funny and casual in the privacy of my own home or when with my friends.

I am fiercely protective of my privacy and extremely picky about whom I invite into my life.

I love my friends with the same passion as I love my family and I am loyal to a fault. When I choose to love you, I love you for life.

I am a bundle of contradictions. I am a Cancer--emotional, nurturing and sensitive--but have both Libra rising and Libra as my moon sign--balanced, intellectual and practical.

I am a quiet soul who generally dislikes conflict and discord. If, however, you hurt someone dear to me, you will be screaming for mercy long before I finally choose to stop your bleeding.

I am a member of the same beauty industry that holds up thin, blonde and straight-haired as the ideal beauty standard. And yet I teach straight women how to love and embrace what is natural and glorious about themselves without resorting to false artifice...and send them off into the world with the same shoulders-thrown-back, head-held-high, "fuck you" switch of their hips we femmes have owned throughout the millennium.

I am the perfect femme for my own place in this world.

[Tucker]

I am an Orchid. I may seem delicate but I am stronger than most think.

[Zora77]

I know how to use a skillet and a power drill.

I am sweet and soft, and with 5’4”/120 pounds I have yet to meet a butch who can take me in a wrestling match.

I scream like a girl when see a spider and find alligators, snakes and rats quite interesting.

In tango I am a devoted follower and can lead almost every other dance.

I recently discovered that I like the way I look in a dress and I would not get caught dead in heels.

I want a daddy to protect me and rule my world and I call the shots in other aspects of my life - and am good at it.

I am a goat and a dragon.

I’m independent, loyal, caring, inquisitive, feisty, passionate and strong.

I’m a wickedly wonderful femme … and modest :)

[The_Lady_Snow]

I

AM

Daddy.....

[JustJo]

I am the femme still discovering myself...learning that the person I have always been is truly just fine...even with my many contradictions.

I am quiet and frequently shy...but laugh loud enough to be heard down the block, and am happy to talk on stage in front of hundreds.

I am analytical and intelligent...but scattered and sometimes struggle with the simplest things.

I am a doting and indulgent mother who puts my son's well-being first in all things. I am the almost-stepmom who looks forward to putting my partner's son in the same place in my life and heart.

I am loving, accomodating, taking care of those I care about.

I have infinite patience with the young, the old, the sick, and those who are doing their best....no matter how little that may be. I have no patience at all with stupidity, cruelty, hypocrisy, arrogance and posers.

I have an incredibly long fuse and am very slow to anger...the bomb at the end, however, is large. You don't want to let it get there.

I endure. Growing up in a narcissistic household I was taught that I did not matter, that my needs didn't count, and that my purpose was only to provide for others. I have learned that these are lies. That took time...and some difficult experiences. I had to sit at the bottom looking up to see the truth.

With most people, I trust quickly but not deeply. I truly trust two people on this earth...and am not related by blood to either of them.

I take people at face value and give them the benefit of the doubt...until they prove otherwise. Once someone shows me that I cannot trust them...then I am done. I have a long memory...for both kindness and cruelty.

I love peace, compromise, quiet and order.

I have a silly side...which I indulge. I turn 8 years old the minute I walk through the gates at DisneyWorld. I like that.

I love the beach more than any other place on the planet. I enjoy simple things...going for a drive, flea markets, going to the movies, bbq in the backyard.

I love to travel...and look forward to exploring more of the world with my partner.

I cook, bake, love polka dots and kitten heels...I am Betty Crocker with an MBA.

I am affectionate...I love to hug, kiss, dance barefoot in the kitchen.

I work hard, but not fast...and I achieve my goals. I am persistent. I am stubborn, opinionated, pushy and...if you read this far you already know...I'm wordy. :rrose:

[tantalizingfemme]

FemMe

I am:
Long painted finger nails, manicured toes
Make-up every day, hair always done
Dresses and heels
Jewelry and hair clips
Hair product whore
Skin product aficionado
Feminine

I am:
Independent
Loving single mother for 16 years
Fierce protector
Soccer mom
Taxi cab
ATM machine
Maker of school lunches
Homework checker
Unpaid maid
Example

I am:
Loyal, hard-working employee
Bill payer
Homeowner
Repair person
Gardner
Wanna-be coupon queen

I am:
Lover of beautiful home decorating
Lacking of any ability or desire to decorate
Fashion conscious
Not a shopper
Careful with money
Prone to blowing a lot on a good haircut

I am:
A loving partner
Submissive
Domestic
A cook
Care taker
Stone

I am:
Loyal to those I love
Caring
Outspoken
Love unconditionally
Trusting
Trustworthy
Confident

I am:
Proud to be me

[Strappie]

I am an Orchid. I may seem delicate but I am stronger than most think.

So you need much water?? *smirk*

[Strappie]

The power of a Femme is simply amazing!

Ladies... all I can say is this thread is AMAZING! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, feelings and your soul.

[oblivia]

I am...

A little girl femme: Carefree and truly adoring of rainbows... butterflies... rainbows... pink... unicorns... and eating lucky charms for breakfast at work much to the dismay of my special-k and kashi-crunching coworkers. ;)

A professional femme: A would-be workaholic intent on maintaining work-life balance and mostly succeeding, an office mouse and not a corporate climber. I'm most content in the guts of the business, working the business not watching it and have no interest in stepping into middle (or upper) management.

A pagan femme: My spiritual path lies mostly on the shores of Avalon with my like-minded Sisters but it also is on my Yoga mat and in dharma and meditation and a good old fashioned full moon circle.

A believer femme: I believe. I believe in people, I believe in the people I love. I believe in things that people tell me I shouldn't believe in - like Unicorns and fairies and dragons and true love. I'm not afraid to believe. I've been hurt like crazy for believing, and I will never stop.

A kinky femme: I am a submissive and a masochist but my masochism is never really just physical, there is always an emotional link or need or connection with the experience. I have had transformative experiences on the cross or over a bench or up on a rack and I continue to have transformative experiences every time I dive deeper into my submission and commitment to my Owner (who is also my Wife).

A shy femme: I'm an online socializer and am shy or timid (or ridiculously babbly and unfocused) in person. It's hard for me to make friends in person because I feel awkward and I trust people too easily and am too invested in their opinion of me. I am raw and real and this makes me vulnerable. But I am authentic and so the friendships I do make are genuine ones.

A romantic femme: I know I am a walking stereotype in some ways. I like to be the nurturer and the cook and the homemaker and the child-rearer and the white-picket fence gazer. I love old fashioned chivalry. I love romantic gestures. I'm that girl that swoons over hand picked daisies and a surprise picnic and thinks romance isn't about money but about heartfelt gestures that make me feel appreciated. I thrive on finding ways to let my one and only know how appreciated and adored she is as well, and this is part of the romantic thrill for me.

A mothering femme: Parenting is a part of my identity now, because it has - in so many ways - changed my outlook on life, my priorities, and my ability to deal with life and to accept responsibility for myself, my actions, and their consequences. Being a parent to these boys (young men now) has been and is one of the most rewarding things about my life.

A questioning, seeking femme: I'm always learning, growing, evolving and becoming. I fit best with others who are also on this path. Being on a growth path/journey in this life can be challenging... and it can be hard to make friends and then lose them as your paths go different directions or one moves on while the other has to stay a while. Growing hurts, but it's worth it.

A silly femme: no explanation required. ;)

[Puplove]

I am my own self, who I know I am and who I love.
I do not fit into the traditional girly girl, I do not fit into an andro description - I am myself.
Very femme in that I love my feminine self, sparkles, glitter, dresses etc.
Very myself in that I recognize that I love all the feminine things but do not love to take the trouble to wear them.
I am comfortable in myself, my non-made-up self, in jammies or torn up shorts and tshirt. And I don't have to wear dresses or makeup to be recognized as a professional, strong career woman.
But I love to be dressed up and made up and feeling very lovely and fancy. (but I look and feel weird in makeup)

I love the power of myself, knowing I can manage and rock my own life, from career, leadership, finances and owning my own home -- and am strong enough to let the right butch in to be a partner in my life, helping, contributing and creating a shared life.
I am learning the power of handing over some of that power and control and letting myself depend on another, even though I don't NEED him - but I WANT him.
I am also learning the depth of my traditional girl as I plan a wedding and discover how deeply rooted my love of all of those little girl Barbie dreams are, even though I never recognized them before. I used to scoff at them - now I recognize the joy and power of them and embrace them.

I am powerful and I own myself in my own femme-ness. I make myself more powerful by allowing my butch to have a role in my life and sharing some of the power with him as my partner.

And I am very silly. And smart. And funny. And good at math. And a hater extraordinaire.

[ButterflyKisses]

I am the femme who will create a five star meal yet light the dish towel on fire because I wasn't paying attention.

I am a lover not a fighter, but mess with someone I care about and I will take you OUT. Game Over. End of Story. No Sequel.

I am an insomniac.

I will take apart the toaster and anything else that catches my interest to see how it works.

I am an adreniline junky.

I am the Energizer Bunny.

I am lazy.

I am beautiful and fierce whether rocking a mini dress and stilettos or torn t-shirt and sweats.

If you carry my bags, it's because I let you.

I am the angel you see on the street in a pink sundress and the devil tied the bed at night.

I wear my heart on my sleeve. No matter how hard I try to pry it loose and return it to the safety of my chest, it will not budge.

I am a safe harbor.

I am a hurricane.

I've been to hell, yet still managed to keep my rose-colored glasses.

I am stronger than I look. Though not as strong as I act.

Trouble happens when I get bored.

I am smart and self-educated.

I am a walking bundle of contradictions.

[BarbaraRyan]

I joined after the last post, so I hope it's okay that I add my self-description.

As far as labeling my sexuality, I use the terms Femme and Lipstick Lesbian. I like them both because they are complex and express two aspects of me - my femininity and my love of women.

I am very feminine in appearance - I wear make-up and love red lips. I currently have short hair, but wear it in a gamine style. (An ode to Audrey). I prefer wearing skirts and tops, but like dresses that flatter my hourglass figure. I wouldn't say I am modest, but I don't wear revealing clothes. But I wear loose t-shirts pants and boxers when cleaning or gardening.

I like Victorian Lesbian fiction and vintage erotic photos, along with reading Anne Rice and Jane Austen. I drink tea and collect tea pots/tea for one sets. I love vintage hats, clothing, and jewelry. I like lots of pillows on the bed and fluffy comforters where I snuggle with my cats while listening to Sarah Brightman, Sarah McLachlan, Dido, and Nora Jones. I watch British comedies, Bones, the L Word, and Arrested Development. I enjoy musical and try to see them when I can. My favorite is The Phantom of the Opera.

I am really spiritual. I pray to the Goddess and meditate - a lot. I study Her many different guises - such as Mother Mary, Medusa, Athena, and Tara. I don't worship a male deity. I'm a witchy woman with Native Guides and have an affinity to Shamanism and Native Culture. I'm a Reiki healer, tarot reader, and truth teller. I read the stories of the Goddess and watch Pushing Daisies, Moonlight, Buffy, Charmed, Bewitched, and Xena.

I collect crystals and study their uses and properties. I love plants and flowers and have several gardens. I hope to be a Certified Master Gardener one day. I like cooking vegetarian and vegan and have a number of cookbooks. I study herbalism and make herbal medicines. My favorite herbs and flowers are in the mint family and include roses, mints, and lavender. I am a ginger addict! I have several chronic illnesses and blog about living with them.

I love learning and constantly read. I have degrees in PR and Writing Arts. I have worked as a Freelance Writer and in Acquisitions for a Bookseller. I'm interested in Law and plan to go back to school to get my Paralegal Certificate. I enjoy classical studies and want to see the new Cleopatra exhibit at the Franklin Institute.

I also have a tomboy side. I enjoy watching Professional Wrestling and still attend live events. I've been to Wrestlemania. I love old NWA, Attitude Era WWE, and ECW. The ECW Arena in South Philly is one of my favorite places. I like Owen Hart, Shawn Michaels, Chyna, John Morrison, Awesome Kong, Tommy Dreamer, Chris Benoit, and RVD. I collect wrestling DVD's and have a nice little collection. I also love horror. I'm a huge Clive Barker fan and love his Books of Blood. I enjoy Friday the 13th the Series, Dexter, Saw, Hellraiser, Nightmare on Elm Street, Dead Silence, and the Evil Dead. I even have a blog dedicated to examining the horror genre.

Sorry if that's a bit long. Something I like about this thread - is that everyone her has defined herself and has taken the time to look within honestly. It's important, along with not letting others define who or what we are. When we do it, we give away a bit of our power.

[Lady_Wu]

I am femme. Strong in my weakest places. Strong enough take care of myself. Strong enough to relinquish control.
I am femme to your Butch. An old-fashioned, dress-wearing, 50s femme. I am proud to be seen on your arm in a world that does not know who or what we are. I am the one who hears you cry when your family/your job/your world rejects you for being who you are. I am the one who knows your fierce determination not to let them break you. I one who walks with you past the stares of the people who would like to knock you down. I am the one who walks into the lesbian bar, you in your Butch attire made more obvious by my feminine dress. I am your partner in the Dance.
I am femme who would kill for my femme friends. We have been there for each other in the gentle rain of the good times and the thunderstorms of the bad. We have cried on each others' shoulders, laughed at each others' stories, talked for hours on the phone. We have seen each other through the mind-bending of initial love and the heartbreak of its ending. We are the ones we turn to in our joy and our hurt. Who else but a femme really knows me!
I am femme. I amable to live happily alone yet run happily into your arms when you get home. I can open my own doors, carry my own groceries, and unclog my own sink. I can also let you do those things for me! I can ward off the creep next door who leers at me each time we pass. I can let you run him off for me. I can run my own life with ease. I can give over that control to you.
I am femme. I have looks to kill with an attitude to match. I have my own sense of style, with dresses past my calf, librarian glasses, and funky little flat shoes. I can walk past you in a bookstore (my natural habitat) and make you look once, twice, then you're following me around the store. I can be found in the GLBT section looking for that odd Butch/femme title or in the Philosophy section with my nose in the book of an obscure Chinese Author. I can accidentally drop my books at your feet and have you pick then up and shyly ask me to join you for coffee. I know that you know that was no accident.
I am femme. I can shop for hours with a femme friend for just the right purse. I can lecture a class on Early Greek Skepticism. I can simplify my life til I own very little. I can cook a vegetarian jambalaya and buttermilk pie dinner that has those cooked for coming back for thirds. I can make the perfect cup of coffee.
I am all of these things and infinitely more. I am a lady, after all. And a lady is so much more than than mere words can convey. And has so many more talents than words can tell. I am femme.
Lady_Wu

[imperfect_cupcake]

at this moment I am short-nailed (can't be arsed with the gloves and cotton wool any more), ripped men's ribbed undershirt, black jogging pants.

I wear make up spectacularly and artistically (usually deep end glam) when I feel like wearing it. 5 days a week I have a scrubbed and lotioned face and spikey, short, bleached hair with very long lashes.

I love cosmetics but in a pallet/paint way - it's joyful art.

I wither with no real backwoods camping. England makes me very spirit sad this way.
I love all animals and the spiders in my flat are honoured pets.

I love cooking, especially with my partner.

I love to create. boxes, collages, painting, make up, cooking... building things makes me feel purposeful and skilled and I want to get back into furniture making. I also love beading and stitch-work.

I am loud laughing, swearing, confrontational, vunerable, independant, co-operatively dependant with my partner and very happy about it.

I am quiet, inverted and overly stressed

I like dinner parties and when I can pull it off, the rare dance all night and go out for breckfast before going home.

I love living in big cities but need a regular escape route to the trees and the lakes and skinny dipping.

cats are my happiness and can't wait till we can finally get two. It's been very empty with them.

I am exploratory and science orientated. I am continually learning. I love certain frames of specific religions though and like picking and choosing of things I want to bring into my own special kind of... lack of word for what I am.

I am devoutly feminist. I owe them everything I can do/am. I will continue their work.

[Lady_Wu]

I am still the femme I described. Let me be more specific now.
I am short-haired, like a bikkhuni and studying to be a Roshi and Taoist priest. My nails are long and I wear dresses but little make-up. A little lipstick and nail-polish for special occasions. Perfume everyday, though. I have 3 scents I wear: Romance, Green Tea, and Inner Realm.
I live more like a Taoist monk than anything else. I take care of the sick, clean house and prepare meals like a good Chinese taitai. I study when I have time. But the above leaves me little time.
I am not as healthy as I used to be. MS and other illnesses have taken their toll. My spirit is still strong. I will have pain. Pain will NOT have me.
I would love to be pampered and have someone take care of me. That is not my lot in life right now, though I have hopes that one day that could change. Right now I just want a peaceful home. I would also like a few friends. I have accepted that that is just not possible here. Meeting people is impossible in a town that has no gay community: no bar, though that is not my scene; no bookstores, and no cafes or coffee houses.
I love these mountains but the people in WV are unlike any I've ever known. Unless you are from here, you basically do not have any way to be known. No-one speaks to each other in the grocery, unless it is to talk to others related to them. Sigh. I'm used to exchanging recipes with strangers in the vegetable section. And having no-one be a stranger. Then again, I come from the deep South. The cold is killing me as well. Again, it is gorgeous but hard to maneuver in.
So I live the life of a Taoist monk, trying to do good and study. I have my dreams still but have found that happiness comes in small doses. Contentment is the best I hope for.
Lady_Wu, Taoist monk femme

[BarbaraRyan]

Thank you Lady_Wu for sharing. I admire your strength and determination. I am curious though - What is a taitai? I've never heard that term before.

Hugs!

I am still the femme I described. Let me be more specific now.
I am short-haired, like a bikkhuni and studying to be a Roshi and Taoist priest. My nails are long and I wear dresses but little make-up. A little lipstick and nail-polish for special occasions. Perfume everyday, though. I have 3 scents I wear: Romance, Green Tea, and Inner Realm.
I live more like a Taoist monk than anything else. I take care of the sick, clean house and prepare meals like a good Chinese taitai. I study when I have time. But the above leaves me little time.
I am not as healthy as I used to be. MS and other illnesses have taken their toll. My spirit is still strong. I will have pain. Pain will NOT have me.
I would love to be pampered and have someone take care of me. That is not my lot in life right now, though I have hopes that one day that could change. Right now I just want a peaceful home. I would also like a few friends. I have accepted that that is just not possible here. Meeting people is impossible in a town that has no gay community: no bar, though that is not my scene; no bookstores, and no cafes or coffee houses.
I love these mountains but the people in WV are unlike any I've ever known. Unless you are from here, you basically do not have any way to be known. No-one speaks to each other in the grocery, unless it is to talk to others related to them. Sigh. I'm used to exchanging recipes with strangers in the vegetable section. And having no-one be a stranger. Then again, I come from the deep South. The cold is killing me as well. Again, it is gorgeous but hard to maneuver in.
So I live the life of a Taoist monk, trying to do good and study. I have my dreams still but have found that happiness comes in small doses. Contentment is the best I hope for.
Lady_Wu, Taoist monk femme

[Sweepea]

I am soft like a cactus--- I am femme. I am Mother, sister daughter but not lover---to someone.
Once I love you ... I love you forever.I dont love quickly. I am a strong and powerful woman when I need to be.
I am not a good housewife-- I hate to cook and clean the house. I am passionate and loving and will bring you caugh drops at midnight.
I am a BBW and I love myself.
I have long nails and short hair yet do not wear makeup.
I love being a woman who loves woman---and hyms and hys...
I have a "thing" for shoes... high heels... I love them. Can't wear them...I like to people watch and the beach is a perfect place to watch.
I am a Cancer---ruled by the moon. I am bitchy and demanding and loving and giving in 0-5 seconds. I forget. But when I do rememeber--- beware!!!

I am content with myself.

[Laerkin]

I'm so inspired by so many of you. It's like reading bits and pieces of myself in each post.

Hmmmm. How to put this into words...

I am in love with my femininity and my girlie parts. I love my curves and I like to show them off. But I do it for me and no one else.

I am smart. Education is important to me. I use my brains to navigate a largely male-dominated profession and I excel at it.

I'm not hell-bent on titles or labels. I am Femme, but I am so much more and so much less. It is one tiny facet of my multi-dimensional person. The moment I begin to take myself too seriously, I question why and move in another direction.

The Femme I am is bossy, independent, strong, opinionated, passionate, caring, loving, affectionate and sometimes I need more than I am willing to let on because I don't like appearing weak.

Being a woman is a gift the likes of which I cannot describe (and yes, I think women are better than men because of the magic they can create and nurture within their bodies...LOL).

I am not a mother and I'm not sure I want to be.

Strength is vital to me, but I weep at the thought of an animal suffering for any reason and I cry at the drop of a hat at the movies (but don't point it out or I'll get embarrassed).

I love being touched, I think laughter is not only the best medicine but the sexiest trait about a person, and I try to live as close to compassion as possible...but I fail often.

My confidence rarely wavers and when it does I won't admit it because I'm stubborn. It's rare that my feelings get hurt because I don't take much personally, but when they are hurt it cuts deep.

I forgive easily, I trust readily, I love frequently, and I try to appreciate the people around me every single day.

I am loyal to a fault, I protect everyone around me.

I put everyone before myself which makes the people in my life feel nurtured and cared for, but often leaves me exhausted and without any energy to care for myself.

I am a work in progress and I love the lessons I learn every day, even the ones that hurt a lot.

My sexuality and identity are fluid. I change and grow every single day and I try not to ever get stagnant or content.

I smile. A LOT. A LOT. LOL.

I squeal when something startles me, I'm super ticklish, I love cute shoes and low-cut tops but I don't mind getting dirty and getting my hands into something messy. I want to learn as much as I possibly can about the world and other cultures.

Though I would never admit it out loud (EVER), I sometimes need protection from the world and I'm too proud to ever ask for it.

I am me and I love being complicated and messy and fun and crazy-passionate.

I love being pretty and sassy even though it's totally impractical.

I've been wounded deeply more than once in ways that are unforgivable, but I am never a victim. I don't believe in feeling sorry for myself or in using something from past as an excuse for my behavior now.

Strong women and kind men inspire me. Spirituality is super important to me but I am not religious in any way.

I am Laerkin.

[waxnrope]

Damn. This is a beautiful thread. Thank you all for just being. For expressing both grace and power.

[LieslKate]

Prime Lesbian Femme Feminist Submissive Amazon Dyke Riot Grrl... kind of says it all !

[girl_dee]

I'm many different femmes!

Sometimes I am feisty and have quiet an edge

Sometimes I am a tomboy gutting a fish in cutoffs and tank tops

Sometimes I am a girl, in a pretty frock, waiting for Daddy to get home

Sometimes I am submissive, and restrained to Sir's bed

Sometimes I am a hard worker and get the job done

Sometimes I am a writer, a photographer, an artist and a deep thinker.

Mostly I am just me.

[JinxdGirl]

I am the femme that was told I wasn't.
I am tomboy and girlieboi.
I rarely wear make up or perfume.
I shower before chatting with my crush, to make sure I am feeling pretty.
I have an amazingly sexy voice.
I don't believe I'm beautiful, but I'd like to.
I'm not a "what you see is what you get" girl.
I'm a grown ass woman.
I'm a little girl.
I am tougher than most.
I am strong physically, emotionally and spiritually.
I am a survivor of life.
I am a middle school drop out with a Good Enough Diploma.
I struggle, daily, to love myself.
I am loved, cherished, respected, praised.
I am the devil's advocate.
I am a provider.
I am a co-parent.
I am protective, intimidating, fierce.
I am painfully shy in person.
I am flirtatious without trying to be.
I have been broken, dropped, forgotten.
I am putting myself back together, remembering my truth.
I am my own worst enemy.
I am partially deaf.
I am a home chef, a nurturer, a baker, a babysitter, a friend.
I am disowned.
I am fighting the good fight.
I am healing, changing, evolving.
I am and always will be fat.
I enjoy being a fat chick, even though I am working to be a less fat chick.
I am healthy.
I am bipolar.
I am every woman you've never known.
I am becoming my own friend.
I am FEMME by my own damned standards!

[Lynn]

I am a lesbian femme, in awe of the strength, beauty, and depth of all women. I am a feminist femme, claiming the power of who I am, and supporting the rights of women and men. I am an older femme, finally coming into my own. I am a bedroom femme, loving the dynamics of the butch-femme mystery.

[FeminineAllure]

By describing the woman that I am emerges the femme that I am.
Breaking it down-
I am full of dichotomies.
I am so comfortable being a woman. I am soft with some rough edges. Feminine yet love to wear sweatpants, slippers and *her* shirt over my choices of many dresses, skirts and heels that fill my closets. I will wear just her shirt while wearing lipstick of crimson red and my best perfume. My nails will be done and my feet will be soft with my toes polished. Then again I may wear a beautiful flowing skirt with no make up on in my bare feet to an afternoon picnic. What I wear does not define who I am. I define who I am.
I have an open mind and I am trisexual. I will try almost anything at least once. I like pain at times. I like letting my inner little girl out at times. I like being submissive. Don't judge me and I will not judge you.
I raised myself well. I came from a dysfunctional family yet I turned out pretty functional. I am compassionate, kind, thoughtful, creative, empathetic. I value not someones degree, but what they have learned from life itself. How many hours someone has spent in a classroom has never impressed me but I admire their ambition. I must have consistancy in my life.
I will show you my friends and you will see me. I have many aquaintences but very few close friends. They are my friends for life.
I love animals but especially cats. They are the children I could never have. Not having children has never defined me as a woman. My cats have taught me responsibility, gentleness, patience...Patience is one of my weaknesses. I don't like to wait for things. I am spontaneous!
I mean what I say and put great value on other peoples words as well.
I am spiritual but not religious.
I am a larger woman. But I love pretty clothes. I asked at a VS store employee why their PINK collection does not go past a size L? I told them to e mail me when it did. It was Christmas time in a long line and you could just feel the smiles from the customers and the sales womans face was priceless. I do speak up for myself and others quite often.
I am learning to love the body I am in. I take many medications that put weight on. So I will never be a petite woman again. Acceptance of myself as living, loving, being who I am without any appologies...That is one of my biggest lessons I am learning as a woman. I am the best femme that I can be. And I only look forward to getting better as I age.
I almost forgot to add...Butches make me weak in the knees and they compliment the femme that I am so well.

[CherylNYC]

OK. I'll take my turn.

I'm a kick-ass, self sufficient and resourceful, strong in every way, fierce and fiercely loyal, hippie lesbian feminist, pagan biker-dyke femme.

I'm a sexually submissive, masochist leatherdyke, stonefemme bottom femme.

I'm a work clothes that stand up by themselves because they are covered in dimensional gak that would disgust a homeless person femme.

I'm a play clothes that monopolize ALL your attention, and heels so high that only drag queens and I can wear them femme. I can run in them, too.

I'm a please buy me power tools for my birthday femme. My sculpture studio is packed to the rafters with tools and projects, so perhaps I don't really need more power tools, but I'll think you're super cool if you bring me a useful tool that I don't yet own.

I'm a too shy to make the first move femme. I want to be courted. Some day my prince will come, but I will not be happy if said prince assumes that she will be paying for dinner.

I'm a femme with a backyard full of motorcycles which I ride and repair. I wear make-up sometimes, but no nail polish unless my nails are irretrievably filthy. Deep red hides best, but metallic blue matches my best bike.

I'm a DO NOT cross me femme, and a DO NOT EVEN THINK about hurting my friends if you want to live femme.

I'm an urban and urbane NYC femme. I listen to obscure and difficult music, go out to exquisite NYC performances and have erudite conversations with overeducated friends.

I garden naked and swear at the raccoons that dug up my blueberry bush and continue to threaten my cats that I will turn them into hats just as soon as I get my hands on them. Deer and Canada geese look like dinner to me. Hell, if I'm hungry enough even a well fed squirrel looks like dinner to this urban barbarian femme.

I'm a feline femme who purrs, plays and cuddles like a kitten, and fights the good fight like a pride of lions, after which I want nothing more than to fall to my knees in front of a big, strong, butch top.

There are many facets to my femme-ness, indeed. Even I can't command enough words to adequately describe them all.

[Isadora]

I am a complex being. I am healing and healer. I am Momma and lover. I am fierce and bossy. I am tender and malleable. I have sheer skin, easily hurt and deep wounds that will never heal. I miss people deeply. I do not miss people at all. I am in love and in loved back. I am not simply who I love but I am also deeply who I love. I am strong with an amazing heart. I am strong enough to give it away again. I am dichotomy and harmony. I am contradiction and congruence. I am fully human and simply femme.

[Spoon]

I'm a girlie geek in silly knee socks, black cats eye glasses, and Chucks. I'm also the curvy girl with killer cleavage and cute undies.

I like my door opened for me, whether we're dressed up or not.

I wear my hair short & textured because it's baby-fine, but I'll take twenty minutes to make sure it's tousled properly.

I wear the make-up, the heels, and carry the purse; no exceptions.

I know the different between lip stick, gloss, and stain. And I have them all.

I'm your knock-out candle lit dinner date and your running partner.

I'm sweet, funny, caring, and giving. I'm also the first one to have your back if you need it.

I have class, poise, and great manners. And I watch 'Tosh.O.'

I'm well versed in both beer AND wine. And I can cook.

I'm terrified of bugs & spiders. Like, wide-eyed terrified. And I can't fix a damn thing. But I can knit and crochet and repair the rips in your clothes.

I'm proud of and pleased with my femininity, even if it's not always on display, and no one makes me feel more feminine than a strong butch.

[skeeter_01]

I'm a girlie geek in silly knee socks, black cats eye glasses, and Chucks. I'm also the curvy girl with killer cleavage and cute undies.

I like my door opened for me, whether we're dressed up or not.

I wear my hair short & textured because it's baby-fine, but I'll take twenty minutes to make sure it's tousled properly.

I wear the make-up, the heels, and carry the purse; no exceptions.

I know the different between lip stick, gloss, and stain. And I have them all.

I'm your knock-out candle lit dinner date and your running partner.

I'm sweet, funny, caring, and giving. I'm also the first one to have your back if you need it.

I have class, poise, and great manners. And I watch 'Tosh.O.'

I'm well versed in both beer AND wine. And I can cook.

I'm terrified of bugs & spiders. Like, wide-eyed terrified. And I can't fix a damn thing. But I can knit and crochet and repair the rips in your clothes.

I'm proud of and pleased with my femininity, even if it's not always on display, and no one makes me feel more feminine than a strong butch.


*THUD*... :)

[femmebotdyke]

This is difficult but I'm so impressed by everyone else's posts that I want to attempt at least a provisional kind of self-description. It's a femme's prerogative to change her mind so here we go...


I'm a ''fat'' feminist, femme dyke. I'm not into re-rehearsing old scripts or shoehorning myself into pre-determined roles but neither am I under the illusion of being able to completely transcend them. Nor am I prepared to deny their continued erotic and socio-political valence- in my life and in the lives of others. No one has the privilege of only ever having to answer to their own name so I take the names that I have been given, imperfect instruments as they are, and use their imperfections against them and those who would wield them.
In a culture in which femininity (and masculinity) are constant and uncertain achievements I am a more or less unproblematically feminine dyke who loves butches and transmasculine people.
I am the kind of femme who's charm arsenal is much more formidable and explosive than she could ever imagine. Who doubts herself and usually rationalizes it away when she senses she's being cruised.
I am a compulsive and obsessive reader of books (self-confessed bibliophile here) but also of bodies and mind. I'm the kind of femme others use as a mouth-piece for or decoder of their own unexpressible emotions. I am a femme who feels (and who is sometimes afraid of the force of her emotions), who listens. Words come easily to me.
If I worship at the feet of any goddess it's Doubt. I'm a femme who is constantly learning, interrogating my own assumptions, forming, dissolving and reforming opinions,forever curious. I'm the kind of person who is adept at seeing all points of view but struggles to fully adopt one or tow the party line for more than five minutes. The negative face of this trait is indecisiveness...and sometimes self-loathing. I'm also skeptical.
I am a femme who values justice- but who's brand of justice is not especially punitive.
I'm the kind of femme who dislikes shopping (especially for clothes) and has little more than a cursory interest in depilation, make-up, jewellry, weight-loss diets, shoes, handbags, ''cleanses'', facials, manicures or anything that reeks of ''girly"- but who still takes an enormous amount of time and care in choosing an outfit and is the most overdressed person at any given occasion from an early morning trip to the supermarket to a night on the town.
I am a vegan femme.
I am a femme who over-intellectualizes things at times.
I am a femme who feels more comfortable in a dress or something resembling one (like a skirt or a long tunic) and likes to show rather than disguise the sillohuette of her hips, the shape of her breast, her thighs...
I am a physically strong femme who does most of the heavy lifting, who's not phased by spiders, snakes or other creepy crawlies or getting dirty...most of the time.
I am a foodie femme who loves to feed and cook and look after other people.
I am a near technical (and technological) illiterate- home handiwork or basic motor mechanics are not my forte.
I'm a femme who appreciates a dry wit and tends towards having a more sardonic, black sense of humour.
I'm a sensitive, introverted femme.
I'm the kind of femme who abhors most institutions and forms of authority and regimentation-including ''organised fun'' (so don't take me on a cruise ship unless it's an exercise in observing/trying to make sense of the human condition!)
I am a femme with a dirty mind, who's mother always told her to close her legs, who's usually inappropriate for her own kicks rather than because she doesn't know the correct way to behave.
I'm a cynical femme and a self-deprecating femme and a disorganized femme.
I am femme who needs her own space.
I am a greedy femme.
I am an even-tempered, calm, competent femme who often feels out of control.
I am a thinking butch's femme.
I am all of these things and yet still haven't exhuasted description...

[blue33]

I just wanted to thank all of you sweet, passionate,intelligent femmes for opening your hearts and sharing what makes you the unique individuals you are! My heart beats strongly for all of you and I wish you the nothing but the best life has to offer, you deserve it and then some......cheers to all of you that make our warm butch hearts beat endlessly.....Thank you!

[Lady Pamela]

This is such an incredible thread..I had to bounce it so others who haven't seen it, will know it is here.

I just re-read every single one and I do believe I am standing a bit straighter with pride..lol

I think it is wonderful to see so many write here without hesitation and in honesty..thank you all.

[Mtn]

I'm many different femmes!

Sometimes I am feisty and have quiet an edge

Sometimes I am a tomboy gutting a fish in cutoffs and tank tops

Sometimes I am a girl, in a pretty frock, waiting for Daddy to get home

Sometimes I am submissive, and restrained to Sir's bed

Sometimes I am a hard worker and get the job done

Sometimes I am a writer, a photographer, an artist and a deep thinker.

Mostly I am just me.

and you are PERFECT

[riotfemme]

I am a mouthy, lefty, flirty, geeky, punky, crafty Queer Femme. My feminism is central to who I am and how I define myself. I believe passionately in sisterhood, in respecting my Femme sisters and listening to their voices and their stories.

I'm tattooed, pierced and always outrageously brightly dressed. I love vintage, 50s clothes, puffy skirts and teensy cardigans, mary-jane shoes and brightly coloured tights, liquid eyeliner and red lips. Red defines me, red lips, red nails, red hair. I walk with a wiggle, even in Birkenstocks (which I often wear because my tootsies like them) but I seldom totter.

I'm vegan, I bake, wearing floral aprons, face generally smeared with cake batter, glasses dusted with flour. Baking is an escape, it gives me time to meditate and create. Needless to say, as a result of all this baking, I am delightfully chubby.

I'm a babygrrrl, a bottom, not quite submissive but somewhere on that spectrum. I love my Daddi and feel so safe when she holds me. It's a connection, a relationship that I can't quite explain, so much of it is absolutely innate. I am often little, I feel safe to be that way with her. Being little with her helps me to be as big and as strong as I need to be to walk through the streets as a Femme, feeling at once invisible to the people I want to see me and visible to those that I don't wiggle and strut for...I should add at this juncture that I wiggle and strut for myself first :)

I was and am still a riot grrrl. My feminism and sense of myself as a Femme didn't start there but both were informed by and evolved through that movement. To this day shouty, feminist punk fires me up and I firmly believe that no outfit is complete without a feminist badge.

I'm a Femme.

[LipstickLola]

I am woman, hear me roar! (dates me, for sure ;) )
I am daughter, sister, cousin, aunt, mother, grandmother
I am tough as nails, can get you through anything
I am soft, emotive, compassionate, passionate
I am Scorpion
I am unique
I am witty, intelligent, grounded
I am late coming to the party :o
I am creative, musical, artistic
I am lover, caregiver, nurturer, teacher and friend

I can cook for a crowd
I can make a party out of nothing in a moments notice
I can make a silk purse out of pigs ear
I can haul a load of horses
I can put up 500 bales of hay
I can drive a tractor, and love doing it
I can fish, I can row
I can sew, I can mow

I wear jeans, I wear scrubs
I wear boots, I wear clogs
I wear chap stick, I wear lipstick
I wear matching underwear on special occasions
I wear a long skirt with cowboy boots if necessary, (fun things can hide under said skirt)
I have good teeth, good skin
I have brown eyes, brown hair with wisps of gray
I have lines around my eyes from laughing lots, from life
I will always smell good

I am low maintenance
I am laid back and slow to anger
I am slow to anger, but can simmer, and will ignite
I laugh out loud
I cry at parades
I will wipe your tears
I will hold your hand
I will follow your lead

I have a thing for sharpies, white shirts, and funky socks
I have a key holder size WD-40 with a sharpie
I have a screwdriver, tire gage, bag of mints, and potpourri in the door of my truck

I love old things, especially barns, books, leather, black and white photographs

I love my family, I love women, I love my animals, I love my girly truck

I love that I don't really fit a single label

I am just me

Lola

[little_ms_sunshyne]

I am a passionate, lustful, jealous, Latina :)

I was born in Mexico, speak fluent Spanish, and am in love with my culture.

I love the arts, reading, writing, and admiring beautiful architecture.

I am terribly clumsy but what I lack in common sense I make up for :)

I am a girly girl that isn't afraid to get her hands dirty and is obsessed over the way I smell!

I like wearing sexy lingerie even when no one is around because it makes me feel sexy! Every now and then I will even dance in front of the mirror...

I am 100% independent!!!

I love the idea of being lustfully in love!

Music is my first love and sometimes dictates my emotions!

My favorite word is Serendipity :)

[Pixie]

I am a sassy flirt. I like to whisper sweet nothings and I like to talk shit. I am caring and always want to take care of those in my life, but when used and abused I will leave.

I love wearing skirts and showing cleavage. I adore the 50's era, classy and subtle, self sufficient caretaker. And just because I like to dress up and wear makeup does not mean I won't crawl under the car or in the bed of the truck to get something done. I love being clean as much as I like being dirty.

I am giddy and giggly, but I have depth. You will rarely catch me with out a smile on my face or sitting still do nothing. I am not like everyone else.

I love being creative in the simplest of ways. I over analyze and under emphasize.

I am pixie.

[katsarecool]

I love this thread! That being said:

I am an Old School Femme who had Joan Nestle as my role model and mentor; I "knew" her long before I recognized that I was a lesbian.

I bleed and hurt when others bleed and hurt. I am always ever ready with "bandaids" but recognize when to back off too.

I feel that when everyone in this country is truly equal it will finally be a true democracy but until then it is a country where the "haves" hold power and control over the "have nots" and I will continue to do everything I can to level the playing fields.

I am strong, very opinionated, independent but yet I love to be held, protected and made to feel safe and loved by my lover.

I learned a long time ago when and how to pick my battles; when hackles rise sometimes it is ok to stay out of the fray. I also learned that to be a good person, mother, friend that I must take care of me first. I have learned to think more logical than emotional with knee jerk strong reactions. It is healthier this way.

While I enjoy being at home; doing projects around the house, using the occaisional power tool when needed, gardening, reading, hanging out with my furr babies I still get excited at the prospect of getting ready to go out and enjoy the process of making myself look stunning.

I also learned it is very possible to have fun without alcohol. I am a little shy and love to dance. Years ago, I had to get pumped up with a little vino or mixed coctail in order to be the first one out there on the dance floor. Not anymore though.

I do not like being told what to do, what to buy and how to live my life. I would perfer if someone used pull words rather than the push style all too prevelant. I can be pulled along well as long as there is logic and honesty behind those words. But when pushed my back gets up and the ole rebellious me surfaces.

I admit I am a clothes hoarder. I love golf shirts and Levis as much as I love something frilly and ultra feminine. I hoard shoes as well and once owned 75 pair of shoes mostly high heels in every color under the rainbow. And I love make up. I used to wear it every day, but when I "retired" I soon tired of it and now use it on special occaisions.

If I could help every child, animal, adult person in the world who is/has been abused and neglected I would.

As a Pisces, I am a dreamer; dream of a better life for so many people. But it is balanced with cold hard reality too.

And even after all these years; the site of a well groomed and "gentlemanly" butch can make this heart beat fast and loud!

[Tcountry]

I am a sassy flirt. I like to whisper sweet nothings and I like to talk shit. I am caring and always want to take care of those in my life, but when used and abused I will leave.

I love wearing skirts and showing cleavage. I adore the 50's era, classy and subtle, self sufficient caretaker. And just because I like to dress up and wear makeup does not mean I won't crawl under the car or in the bed of the truck to get something done. I love being clean as much as I like being dirty.

I am giddy and giggly, but I have depth. You will rarely catch me with out a smile on my face or sitting still do nothing. I am not like everyone else.

I love being creative in the simplest of ways. I over analyze and under emphasize.

I am pixie.


Don't forget...you can cook...even when distracted! ;)

[Diva]

I'm a Femme.

I'm Femme~a~licious.

I'm a babygirl and I'm a woman.
I'm an angel and a whore.
I'm a singer, an artist, dedicated and a procrastinator.
I'm Femme.
I'm fierce and loyal. You go after mine and You're goin' after me, too. Watch Your step.
I love my home and I'm a nester. I love fixing up my home & making it my own. I'm enjoying the process.
I like rough & dirty and I like slow & romantic.
I like to make love and I like to fuck.
I'm Femme.
When I love, I love deeply....and I don't stop.
I'm a Mom, a daughter, a chosen one (I was adopted) and one who was booted out (when I came out).
I've sung in Carnegie Hall and at my Mom's & Dad's graveside in Barksdale, Texas.
I love children, animals and some adults.
I'm Femme.
I've been called an Alpha Femme & scary smart.
I'm a submissive. I'm strong and I ain'cho mama or Your doormat.
I'm Femme.
I'm probably one of the most patient women You'll ever meet until I'm not.
From my Mom, I learned that patience. I miss my Mom.
My daughter's death taught me just how much inner strength I have.
I'm a Democrat. I hate injustice on every level.
I like chick flicks and Star Wars.
I've worn perfume and a baby's throw~up.
I'm Femme.
Give me a magazine and I can make a collage.
Give me a pencil and paper and I'll write some erotica.
Give me a cup of sugar, flour, milk and a can of peaches and I'll make You a cobbler.
Give me a spanking and I'll follow You around forever. :eyebat:
I'm Femme.
I like make~up, but don't wear much.
I like earrings, but I forget to wear them sometimes.
I like dresses, but I'm not opposed to wearing slacks.
I like sequins and denim. (But not at the same time...)
I like heels, but I can't wear them anymore. (I choose comfort.)
I love socializing and attention, but I appreciate my solitude.

I'm Femme. And I just scratched the surface...................because that's the way THIS Femme just IS. The rest, You have to discover on Your own.

[girl_dee]

I am girl
I am an old soul
I am old fashioned
I am passionate
I am a free lover
I am Cajun
I am safe where confined tightly
I am happy and sad
I am angry and use that sexually
I am an endorphin junkie
I am a Domestic Diva
I am not perfect
I am learning
I am a Treasure!

[Lady_Wu]

i am an old soul going through the 12th house
i laugh at the absurd and chaos of life
i accept that suffering is
i started my incarnations on this planet as a tree
i do not believe that "positive thinking" is THE answer
i play with language
so to some i seem cynical and sarcastic
i enjoy philosophical humour
which does get cynical and sarcastic
i endeavour to be kind to all,
esp those whom society has thrown away
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i believe in myself as FEMME
i am queer as a 3-dollar bill
i enjoy pleasure as pain
and pain as pleasure
i want to be restrainted
so that i might be free
i give so that You might receive
i know that receiving is your pleasure
i am stone femme but NOT passive
i want to be f*cked hard
and held gently in your arms afterwards
i am Lady in the streets
and wild in the sheets
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i wear jeans and fix things
that You would if You were here
i wear pants b/c i must
i wear dresses
long, beautiful, deeply coloured dresses
because i love to do so
and they complement You
i shave, moisturize, and use perfume
for myself as well as for You
i feel beautiful
in whatever i am wearing
but esp in my dresses
with belts made of stone
i decorate my cane
with flowers, butterflies, candles
and words: butch, femme, queer
to be both decorative and subversive
i want all to know who i am
i am FEMME
i am QUEER
i am ME
Lady_Wu

[Lady Pamela]

http://jg3105.k12.sd.us/Animations/Bouncing%20Ball.gif

I love this thread so I am bouncing it so everyone will be able to write morw...smiles

[Passionaria]

I have loved this thread since it began. It is awesome to witness each one of you, and your sense of self, through your expressions. You move my heart, your such beautiful femme sisters.

I am a high femme, as in highly feminine. I have always been this way. I am feminine from the inside out. Raised as a ballerina I learned at a young age that there are magical worlds interwoven into what many call "reality". It's a matter of what we choose to see and create. Who's to say which is better, or "more right"? I find an incredible amount of freedom in looking at the world this way. It makes me a wicked muse, shameless actually.

I believe in the mystery of femininity and the art of seduction.
I believe in true love.
I believe in choosing to be happy, and loving myself and others fiercely.
I believe in poetic hearts and laughter, kindness, compassion and delicious tenderness.
I believe in healthy living, for humans, animals and the earth.
I believe in sensuality as a way of life.
I believe in taking beauty and painting life passionate. Living in vivid colors.

Walking between flesh and spirit, with creativity in one hand, and belief in the other, we create our realities.

[HoneyedChrysanthemum]

who dresses and in blue jeans and pants, though that's mainly b/c of the weather. i prefer long, coloured dresses that both cover my figure and define it at the same time.
who remains modest, even in these times.
who studies many things and has many interests.
who can talk about anything.
who can fix nothing but is perfectly willing to hand you your tools.
who doesn't like to see bugs and other sentient beings killed. i'll call for you to take them outside.
who has both a spiritual side and a sensual side.
who meditates and chants.
who keeps herself shaven and rubs moisturizer into every place.
who uses tinted lip balm.
who has baby-fine hair and therefore keeps it short.
who adores butches and all that they are.
who adores butches and all that they do.
who loves being femme and all that means!
pres :moonstars:

[proximitywithoutintimacy]

Looks like I'm the first to post on here in awhile... here goes...


I'm a rocker lesbian, which means I wear band t-shirts, go to shows, and have mass amounts of black eyeliner in my bathroom.

On the other hand, I'm the girl who adores the way I look in a button down dress shirt and slacks ;)

I wear lip gloss and perfume, but I'm in no way high-maintenance. I'm very clean and always have perfect hygiene - girls have actually complimented me on the way I smell, haha.

(TBC)... xoxo.

[The_Lady_Snow]

I am blessed and loved.....

[girl_dee]

I am loved and protected

[The_Lady_Snow]

I am fucking LUCKY

*rawr*

[proximitywithoutintimacy]

Eep, I can't edit my original post! Haha. I'm going to re-post my little self description thingy, hopefully that's okay, and I promise this one will be finished ;)

I'm a rocker lesbian, which means I wear band t-shirts, go to shows, and have mass amounts of black eyeliner in my bathroom.

On the other hand, I'm the girl who adores the way I look in a button down dress shirt and slacks. Sometimes I tease my hair, add tons of hairspray, and glam myself up with smoky eyes and lace - other times I wear my hair messy, skip the makeup, and leave the house in pajamas and a hoodie ;)

I wear lip gloss and perfume, but I'm in no way high-maintenance. I'm very clean and always have perfect hygiene - girls have actually complimented me on the way I smell, haha.

I have a big heart that gets me into trouble, I've been hurt more times than I ever thought possible, and I love fiercely.

I'm sweet and romantic, and I believe in true love - the kind that steals your breath and stops your heart.

I'm honest, sometimes too honest, and I have a kindness that makes me vulnerable to pain and suffering.

My closest friends mean the world to me, and I'm impressed that they can handle the fact that I'm sensitive, a bit controlling, and overanalyse to the point of insanity, haha.

I'm terrified of heights, and loud noises make me jump. Yelling triggers my anxiety.

I'm a spelling, grammar, and punctuation nazi... especially in school - which brings me to the fact that I'm in my second year of college, and have immersed myself into the Social Work Program. I want to work with kids.

I'm accident-prone, and can be a complete spaz sometimes; though people keep telling me how cute it is.

I write, mostly poetry, and I bake often (just recently, white chocolate chip cookies with homemade brown sugar).

I'm a flirtatious geek who tries to see the good in everyone, and if you want to get on my good side, bring me lemon meringue pies, banana moonpies, and/or taco bell.

I have a weakness for girls who have short hair, piercings/tattoos, wear tight pants and dress shirts, and can cook well ;)

I make mistakes, and I say things without thinking. I'm flawed and beautifully broken.

[Starbuck]

I'm a jeans and t-shirt wearing femme who also likes a nice pair of slacks and a sweater.

I'm a no-nonsense femme that likes to have fun. What does that mean? Don't bullshit me; respect is a two-way street. Once respect is established, fun naturally follows.

I'm a very sexual person and I love to show affection publicly.

I'm a femme that rides a Big Dog Motorcycle. :harley:

I'm a tattooed femme (10 in 7 spots), all covered unless I'm in shorts.

I'm a femme that usually wears eye makeup and lip gloss; it makes me feel pretty, oh so pretty, and witty, and gay! LOL :)

I also wear pear scented lotions from Victoria's Secret

I'm a caretaker femme that has a hard time remembering that in order to take care of others, I have to take care of myself first. :hospital-snoopy:

I'm an independent femme that loves to get my hands dirty fixing things. I can troubleshoot, read flow charts and I think power tools are awesome!

Call me corny, but I believe in true love, first kisses that take your breath away, and unquestionable loyalty between two lovers. :awww:

[LaneyDoll]

I am a femme.

I am a temptation...

Temptation lies in the nearest shoe store. I wear heels everyday and have had the same pair of tennis shoes for years. They are pink and black, naturally, and they look brand new. I don't own sensible shoes and my rock-hard calves show my devotion to my shoes. It is almost as strong as my craving for the written word...

The written word is my passion. I am a would be writer of prose, and poetry. I devour books and read anything I can get my hands on-except music...

Music is the soundtrack to my life and songs take me back in time like few things can-except scent...

Scent is the sense most powerfully tied to memory. My sense of smell is highly developed and it is almost as powerful as my sense of touch...

Touch my heart and I will always have a fondness for you, even years after we part ways, and regardless of if or how you wrong me...

Wrong me and I will cry and rage and be a pitiful little kitten. But, when I let you go, you are gone and you are gone forever...

Forever is my dream. I dream of falling in love and getting married and finally sharing my life with someone who loves me for me...

Someone who loves me for me. My kids love me for me. My friends love me for me. But the only people who really KNOW me are my lifestyle friends. If you know me as Elaine then you probably don't know me. If you KNOW me, you know me as LaneyDoll...

LaneyDoll is BDSM brat bottom whose fave play partner is her wicked hot, best friend. LaneyDoll is the femme girl who has a major weakness for butches as lovers and thinks that femmes make amazing friends...

Friends are the best. They accept me as I am. That I love scary movies but cannot watch them alone (or sleep alone that night) because my imagination runs wild with me. That I love bubble baths, and cool showers. That my fave color is purple but my fave color combo is pink/black. That I have my kids initials tattooed onto my ankle and a butterfly carved into my back, on my shoulder. That I am me and I am not changing for anyone but I do strive to continue to grow and learn. That I had a hard childhood but understand that a lot of us didd. That I really tried to be a proper Southern lady but tired of living in a shell that did not fit me. That I am who I am and that...

I am a femme.

[Gemme]

I am a femme.

I am a temptation...

Temptation lies in the nearest shoe store. I wear heels everyday and have had the same pair of tennis shoes for years. They are pink and black, naturally, and they look brand new. I don't own sensible shoes and my rock-hard calves show my devotion to my shoes. It is almost as strong as my craving for the written word...

The written word is my passion. I am a would be writer of prose, and poetry. I devour books and read anything I can get my hands on-except music...

Music is the soundtrack to my life and songs take me back in time like few things can-except scent...

Scent is the sense most powerfully tied to memory. My sense of smell is highly developed and it is almost as powerful as my sense of touch...

Touch my heart and I will always have a fondness for you, even years after we part ways, and regardless of if or how you wrong me...

Wrong me and I will cry and rage and be a pitiful little kitten. But, when I let you go, you are gone and you are gone forever...

Forever is my dream. I dream of falling in love and getting married and finally sharing my life with someone who loves me for me...

Someone who loves me for me. My kids love me for me. My friends love me for me. But the only people who really KNOW me are my lifestyle friends. If you know me as Elaine then you probably don't know me. If you KNOW me, you know me as LaneyDoll...

LaneyDoll is BDSM brat bottom whose fave play partner is her wicked hot, best friend. LaneyDoll is the femme girl who has a major weakness for butches as lovers and thinks that femmes make amazing friends...

Friends are the best. They accept me as I am. That I love scary movies but cannot watch them alone (or sleep alone that night) because my imagination runs wild with me. That I love bubble baths, and cool showers. That my fave color is purple but my fave color combo is pink/black. That I have my kids initials tattooed onto my ankle and a butterfly carved into my back, on my shoulder. That I am me and I am not changing for anyone but I do strive to continue to grow and learn. That I had a hard childhood but understand that a lot of us didd. That I really tried to be a proper Southern lady but tired of living in a shell that did not fit me. That I am who I am and that...

I am a femme.

Welcome, again, and I'd suggest you keep your eyes open for the 9Words Poetry thread if you like the written word. Nine separate words are posted and the thread participants create poems using the list of words, or derivatives of the words (singing to sing, etc). The different ways people use the same words is very interesting. :)

[LaneyDoll]

Welcome, again, and I'd suggest you keep your eyes open for the 9Words Poetry thread if you like the written word. Nine separate words are posted and the thread participants create poems using the list of words, or derivatives of the words (singing to sing, etc). The different ways people use the same words is very interesting. :)

Thanks!!! I will do that right now :)

[Gemme]

Thanks!!! I will do that right now :)

I bumped it up so it should be easy to find.

[1PlayfulFemme]

I am emotion and elements. I love fully, I give freely, I think broadly, I share honestly, I live openly.
I am a gentle rain on a quiet afternoon, I am the sunshine in the midst of a tornado, I am the tornado itself...my energy whirling about. I am the wind, blowing your hair, a gentle caress. I am the thunder when those I love (including myself) are hurt by you. I am the ocean, beating the shore, and each wave you ride with me will bring new beauty to the earth...if only for a passing second. I am the silence in the middle of the night.

When you are wrapped in me, you are safe and loved, but free.

I am safety and security, love and laughter. I am fun times and free smiles. I am a good friend, a great listener, and an amazing wordsmith when inspiration strikes. I am a Muse, and I have many Muses of my own. I am a painter, a creator, a photographer, a student, a teacher.

I am sex and sexuality. I am a writer of erotica. I am lacy bras and matching panties. I am thigh high panty hose and garter belts. I am raw sex. I am fast pulses, shallow breaths, low moans and moistness. I am cleavage and bedroom eyes. I am long, natural red fingernails leaving trails along your back. I am roses & champagne and I am leather & lace. I am soft, gentle touches and I am bites & claw marks. I am sweet kisses and I am throw me against the wall and fuck me hard.

I am comfortable in a dress and high heels or blue jeans and a t-shirt. I am fancy lingerie or sweat pants and a tank top. I am make-up and intricate hair styles or a hair-clip and not a touch of anything on my face except a smile. I am complicatedly simple. I am the illusion of high-maintenance, and the reality of simplicity. I am fulfilled by nature and Mother Earth.

I am an animal rescuer and lover. I am screaming because of a spider, but I am also able to kill the spider myself. (Most of the time!) I am "Let's take it outside and set it free" as long as it isn't going to bite me on the way there. (at that point, I'm kill or be killed!)

I am music. I am rhythm. Music lives in me and I live through music. I am soul dances and slow dances. I am body swaying, connecting. I am Pink and Melissa Etheridge blowing the speakers, and I am Norah Jones singing a peaceful melody. I am oldies, classic rock, pop, country, hard rock, and love songs. I am singing off-tune and loving every minute of it!

I am living, breathing, existing in and of nature. The ocean fills me and fulfills me. My soul takes flight and I am happy.

I am a healer and an Empath. I am healing. I am strong. I am vulnerable. I am a slow Tuesday morning, and a hectic Friday night.

I am an organizer who sometimes can't seem to get a running start. I am logic embattling emotion.

I am the first one there when a cry goes out, the last one to leave when the dust has settled.

I won't just come to the party, I'll help you cook & clean for it, and stay after to clean up.

I am mother, nurturer, lover, giver, child, sister, friend. I am sweet and innocent, and I am anything but innocent.

I am Sagittarius. I am fire. I am passion. I am lust. I am love.

I am brave in the face of danger, and I am scared of the dark.

I am an optimist and I choose to see the good in people and the world around me. My dark places are very dark. I am playful and always ready to try something new.

I am seductive and I like to be seduced.

I am warm cookies fresh out of the oven and I am a cold glass of iced tea on a summer's day.

I am effort and I am Lazy Sunday afternoons.

I am butterflies in the middle of a field covered with snow. I am a burst of light in the darkness. I am color in the midst of a black and white photo.

I am perfect imperfections. I am worth the time it takes to get to see my soul. I am confident and I am insecure. I am outgoing and I am shy. I am a world of apparent contradictions, that all feed each other perfectly.

[Quintease]

I'm not sure what my sort of femme is.

When I first came out I called myself femme as I wanted the right to have long hair, wear dresses and still call myself a lesbian. My look was drag, all bright lipstick, crazy outfits, 7" platforms and red hair.

As time went on it became more ingrained, I never went out without high heels, makeup, black lace and cleavage. Moving countries changed me again, the high heels dropped, but my underwear became sexier and I picked up the handbag and purse habit.

Now in my 30's and in an ostensibly 'straight' relationship I'm in flats and trousers and barely-there makeup, yet I feel far more femme than I ever did. The drag is gone, now it's all just me.

[Star Anise]

I am the type of femme that feels femme, regardless of what I wear.



I am the type of femme that “ruins a perfectly pretty dress” with chunky knee high boots (if it can’t be worn with boots, I am probably not wearing it).



I love bows, BIG bows, bows the size of my head, preferably with polka dots.



I am the type of femme that doesn’t mind a switch.



I am the type of femme that dotes on my Kitty cat. She sleeps at the end of the bed, END OF STORY. :simplelaugh:

[blush]

I am femme.

This past week, I chopped my hair off super short. I needed to look at myself differently. I needed to not equate femme, with, well, femme. It’s easy to slap some high heels on and do my nails, and call it done. But this year has been hard, and I’ve relied on compliments and worn-down thought patterns to tell me what MY femme-ness is.

Haven’t we all been there? Those moments or days or months or years when carving ourselves out of mashed potatoes just isn’t happening? When you realize you can’t back it up? The heels are there, the hair is there, the nails are there…and it all just makes you tired.
So I chopped off my hair to fuck with my femme-ness, to see if it was as easy as wearing high heels or curling my hair. It’s not, but we all knew that.

And I’ve come up with my truths:

I am femme because I say so.

I am femme because it describes my strength, not my weakness.

I am femme and a burlap sack couldn’t hide it, and encyclopedias couldn’t describe it.

[Gráinne]

I am Femme, except when I am not. I am not big on labels.

I am Aquarius with a dash of Sag. Icy intellect outside with a thumping fire inside. Emotion and sensitivity are a foreign language. Yet, touch my mind first, then my heart, and I will love you with the heat of 10,000 suns.

Friend to all, belong to no one. I don't ever see myself in a traditional relationship again. I'm too individual, too much the loner. The only way to catch me is to let me go.

I am so not the romantic. Romance to me is taking a walk under the stars...and bring your telescope. Walk me on the beach, I stop for quartz crystals. You want to woo me? Take me fossiling.

Take me to bed, and I will take you to Heaven...in hours. I am a Femme Top...except when I want shoved against the wall, arms pinned over my head, to bend to Your will. I am Aquarius, and love on my own terms.

My body is all at once muscular and strong, yet I love soft skin and my gentle hands. I am private, yet modeled nude. A prudish side, and a huge kink.

Don't bother with jewelry or fancy things. The new issue of Astronomy Today is more like it. A membership to the Smithsonian, with the offer to take me there-yes!

I sound like a humourless intellectual, but I am the Femme who laughs herself silly at the Three Stooges. It's A Mad,Mad,Mad,Mad World is my favorite movie. If you can't make me laugh, or are missing a sense of humor, I'm not for you.

I am classy and polite, yet I will crack up at funerals, whisper raunchy jokes in church, say shocking things just cause. I use words to build up, and language to make a sailor blush.

I was born here, but am not of here. I am a citizen of the world. Name it, I will go there. I will find my homeland, live and die there.

I can sit through a film noire marathon one night, and Bugs Bunny-Road Runner, the next.

I am the one who taught herself calculus with a book. I am the one who is learning Russian, just for "something to do". I am a teacher by day; a forever student all my days.

I am cool logic, a Vulcan out of time and place. I am the Empath, taking on the pain of those I love without words of my own. I am Leader of myself, never a follower.

I will never jump on the bandwagon, but will be out in front, shouting "Follow Me!"

[MissPriss]

I am my grandmothers look-alike, spending each day trying to be half the woman she was.

I am strong willed and at times hot-tempered. I am high-strung, yet laid back. Music surrounds me and I use it as a therapy for what is going on at the moment, what has happened in the past and what may happen in the future.

I am smart but very few know it. I listen alot and say very little.

I can be the girl you would take home to momma but at the same time the girl that would make your mother question your judgement.

I have a big heart but the wall around it is hard to break through.

I am funny, sarcastic, ditzy, head strong, sweet, critical and times dont play well with others.

I am confident in many things : doing my job well, my womanly ways, changing my own oil, working in the kitchen, my ability to love and realizing that there are things I am not confident about: doing another job as well ( I could never sit behind a desk), my womanly ways, changing my oil (at times I screw up and get it all over me), working in the kitchen ( Ihave burned a casserole or three) but some things remain the same.

I am jeans or sweats and a hoodie in the winter. I am a tank, shorts and flip flops all summer long. I am a short red dress and 5 inch heels when the time is right. I am a ponytail or my hair falling straight down over my shoulders, which ever strikes me at the moment. I am " Maybe shes beautiful, maybe its Maybeline" neutral tones, light lipstick (never pink or red), black mascara, charcoal liner.

I am AWARE...aware of the things I am and aware of the things Im not.

I am a woman, a little girl, a femme, a tomboy, a sweetheart, a total bitch......BUT I am GREAT at being all of them.

[Heavenleahangel]

I am 100% femme. I like dressing up, perfectly matched nails, hair just so. I don't only do this for me to feel good about myself-I do it for YOU, my lover.

I am a leo. A true leo. I am a fierce lioness. I take care of others way too much and forget I am human with needs. I long to do the little things that spoil like back scratches, love notes, home cooked meals, surprises. Its in my nature to love and want the same love in return.

I am a mother. I raised my daughters, ages 23 and 22, and proudly adopted a son who just turned 4 last month! He looks just like ME! God knew who was going to love that boy! He is my heart beat.

I am a lover. I crave that butch energy! I long for that certain touch. I am not a selfish lover at all! I respect boundaries and pride myself in being creative in my relationship. I NEVER want my partner to wonder how I feel about them. I show it to them daily.

I am a little bit angel, little bit naughty, (ok, sometimes quite a bit naughty-thus needing a strong butch to handle this). Im a little bit babygurl/little bit kink-sometimes vanilla. I trust my Daddi to do whats best for me, giving in ways that makes *my* strength disappear. I *am* one-half of a sacred thing yet I am a fortress on my own.

I am a fighter! I have conquered things that most people would run from. I have walked away a winner from fights that shouldn't have been mine to fight, yet I battled on til the victory and laughed in he faces of those who never had faith in me. Do not underestimate me! I am fierce-when needed.

I am a country girl! A vine-ripened Georgia peach! I have the southern drawl and laid back, country mind set. I am a good, southern woman.

I am Heavenleahangel.

[ScandalAndy]

I am a femme with many facets.

I am a scientist femme who looks conservative during the 9 to 5.
I am a shot girl femme who could sell anything to anyone with my cleavage.
I am the femme your mother warned you about, surrounded by a shroud of sex, mystery, desire and danger.
I am stubborn, opinionated, willful, effervescent, hilarious, warm and generous, and EVERYTHING can be turned into an innuendo.
I am a musician who cannot live without the undercurrent of music as a running constant in her life.
I am the girl who can go from tailored pants, flats, no makeup and a ponytail to 8" heels, fishnets, miniskirt and pinup hair in no time flat.
I am a femme who can get lost in the museum of natural history and be blissfully happy, who wouldn't be hard pressed to spend hours in museums, planetariums, or on educational trips.


I am secretly a die hard romantic who wants to be swept off her feet and cared for, but will fight you to the death if you ever imply that I cannot take care of myself.

I'm independent and intimidating, but so worth it.

[*Anya*]

1. I am a study in contradictions

2. Heart, soul, appearance & sexual identity are femme

3. I am warm, loving, nurturing, kind, sensitive & insightful

4. I am also inpatient at times and do not easily suffer fools

5. I am a recovering perfectionist & frequently fall off the wagon

6. I accept the human frailties of others much more easily than accepting my own

7. I need to be in control so much in my professional life, I crave being
able to give it up in other areas of my life

7. On the other hand, the thought of giving up control also scares me (even though "control" is really illusionary)

8. I become tearful at Hallmark commercials & laugh at silly jokes

9. I have many regrets about choices I have made in my life but work hard to accept that I did the best that I could under the circumstances

10. I dearly loved my dog Baby & miss her terribly. She was my first dog & I never knew that one could love an animal this much

11. I love looking feminine but must admit wearing<<disallowed word>>dresses or high heels really is not me

12. A former BF once said I was a cast-iron marshmallow (tough on the outside, soft on the inside)

13. I love to be fucked but have also been known to throw a good one myself if the stars and moon are in alignment & my partner so desires

14. The Daddy dynamic interests me greatly but also scares me (see number 7 above)

15. Writing all these makes me feel vulnerable & I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing.<<disallowed word>>

Honest? Too honest? That's also me at times.

I am femme.

[lillith]

I am rough around the edges. When I am nervous i either talk too much or not at all. I have a loud laugh. I am a mother, student, preoccupied with life. I would rather say, "Damn, what was I thinking?" over "Damn, that was a missed opportunity!" I am kind, gentle-hearted, but don't fuck with me or my loved ones. I swear like a sailor and am as tattooed as one as well. I love with all I have, and give until I have nothing left, and am resourceful enough to find more. I have my faults, but they are mine and I am not broken. I am Mommy and little girl. I am bold, maybe too much so. I have my opinions, but will thoughtfully listen to others, and can be swayed. My truth is mine. I am an author, literary critic, and a seer of the unseen. I cry at puppy dog, and baby diaper commercials. I am sensitive to your words and quips. I can change my oil, flush the radiator, change a light bulb, but scream like a little bitch when I see a spider. I will spend pennies on me and dollars on those I love. I am like no one else, but am like everyone else. I am me, pure and complex...me.

[girl_dee]

Right now the femme that I am feels very vulnerable and fragile.

and thats ok because, Tomorrow I will be solid and feisty.

[Star Anise]

I am rough around the edges. When I am nervous i either talk too much or not at all. I have a loud laugh. I am a mother, student, preoccupied with life. I would rather say, "Damn, what was I thinking?" over "Damn, that was a missed opportunity!" I am kind, gentle-hearted, but don't fuck with me or my loved ones. I swear like a sailor and am as tattooed as one as well. I love with all I have, and give until I have nothing left, and am resourceful enough to find more. I have my faults, but they are mine and I am not broken. I am Mommy and little girl. I am bold, maybe too much so. I have my opinions, but will thoughtfully listen to others, and can be swayed. My truth is mine. I am an author, literary critic, and a seer of the unseen. I cry at puppy dog, and baby diaper commercials. I am sensitive to your words and quips. I can change my oil, flush the radiator, change a light bulb, but scream like a little bitch when I see a spider. I will spend pennies on me and dollars on those I love. I am like no one else, but am like everyone else. I am me, pure and complex...me.

I am the type of femme that can relocate that spider outside unharmed.

:byebye:

[Medusa]

I am femme.


I am femme because it describes my strength, not my weakness.





YES! GOD, YES!

That is perhaps the most brilliant thing I have read in a good long while!

[Gemme]

5. I am a recovering perfectionist & frequently fall off the wagon

7. I need to be in control so much in my professional life, I crave being
able to give it up in other areas of my life

7. On the other hand, the thought of giving up control also scares me (even though "control" is really illusionary)

9. I have many regrets about choices I have made in my life but work hard to accept that I did the best that I could under the circumstances

11. I love looking feminine but must admit wearing dresses or high heels really is not me

Honest? Too honest? That's also me at times.

I am femme.

I could have written this!

[Chancie]

I am a slightly grimy gardening femme.

[flower77]

Hello Everyone

This an amazing thread! So wonderful hearing about all you wonderful women.

I have always found it difficult to describe myself. Some of the things you've said I can relate too. I'll have a go myself once I can get pen in hand and space in my head to think about who I am :-)

Thank you ladies

Flower :bunchflowers:

[girl_dee]

Tiger femme out in the world but a purring kitten in Daddi's arms...

Fierce fishing femme who does it all herself down to gutting and cooking..

Photo taking femme who believes that everyone has a photo worthy moment in their day.

A vulnerable babygirl who loves to be treated as such, at times, other times I prefer her calloused hands tightly around my throat as she grunts in my ear.

[Sassy]

I love this thread and all of the powerful words I've read here. It's one that's made me think, "Who am I?" And I love it when my brain is asked to think. ...

[msW8ing]

Love, love, love this thread..it's so amazing to read about each and every one of you. For myself..I have so many hats I wear..I am the femme that raised to responsible, socially functioning, loving adult children on my own working 2 and 3 jobs at a time to support them with no help from anyone...I'm a gramma of 2 of the most gorgeous babygirls in the world..I'm as strong as steel when I need to be..but as soft as satin when I am allowed to be..I'm the fierce lioness that will rip the throat out of anyone who fucks with my pride..and share thier carcass with said pride..I am the family matriarch..the rock that they lean on and come to any time any day..I'm there..by family I don't just by blood but also my chosen family..I can remodel a home from the wiring and plumbing up..I can do automotive repairs..I'm a tattooed, amazon bbw that is my childrens hero (thier words not mine)..I am the product of what would be if Martha Stewart and Paula Dean had a love child.I can prepare a 8 course eligant dinner party for 20 or cook your favorite meal and not a break a sweat...I make any house a home...I am mother, grandmother,nuruterer, survivor and in your face fighter..I've been beaten, raped and thrown away but will never give up.Almost a college graduate (first in my family)..I will always stand up for the underdog and defend the weak...I am the hot lover that will fuck you til your teeth sweat.and suck your c*ck til your forehead caves in..lady in the streets/whore in the sheets..and also the fragile girl who needs soft love making..and curled up in your arms all night..I am scared to death of storms and will sob while they are wreaking havoc..I grew up fishing, hunting, camping, riding dirtbikes and quads..I can go from denim to lace and be just as comfortable in either role..I am the femme that craves to be "Daddi's babygirl"..but not just for any ol Daddi. I want THE Daddi made just for me. I'm independant and strong..I believe in unicorns and fairies and yes I even believe in unconditional love. And above all..I am femme because it's what is in my heart and soul with every fiber of my being and I am worthy of that title.

[lettertodaddy]

I'm a queer, quirky, recovering academic femme who finds solace in books and theory more so than in the arms of butches who are too quick to be careless with my heart.

I'm a fiercely unapologetic feminist, recovering activist, semi-vegetarian, bike-riding pinko femme who prefers pretty dresses and knee-high boots as cycling wear over lycra and spandex.

I'm a femme who loves fiercely, deeply, thoroughly, and strongly. This quote from Dorothy Allison is my love warrior's call to arms:

“Don’t come at me with that sour-cream smile. Come at me as if I were worth your life—the life we make together. Take me like a turtle whose shell must be cracked, whose heart is ice, who needs your heat. Love me like a warrior, sweat up to your earlobes and all your hope between your teeth. Love me so I know I am at least as important as anythingyou have ever wanted.”

I'm a consciousness-raising, hell-raising, hair-raising femme who is a study in contrasts. I am at once bold and brash while being doubtful and insecure. I will love you in one minute and want to run from you in the next unless you hold on tight and make me feel safe, warm, cherished, and wanted.

In short, I'm the only femme I know how to be - unapologetically me.

[paintedleofemme]

I am not submissive. I like working in the yard and I do not care of my nails get dirty. I love to rock. I burp, and it does not disgust me when I or someone else does it, same with a toot.
and lastly, I am a switch, I will not always be the bottom submissive femme to any butch.

[Amber2010]

I am a girly girl and love most things that make me feel pretty. Dresses, jewelry, long hair but only some makeup. I am average girl, short and average weight. I don’t worry much about gaining or losing weight. I do exercise at least four times a week and prefer to do outside things like the track instead of going to a fitness center.

I am someone who always has my cell phone with me and will text back almost right away day and night.

I enjoy talking and believe it or not even though I am a talker I am also a good listener. I may not answer the question right away but will think about it and then answer it. I am someone who is very busy with work, volunteering and kids but somehow feel alone a lot. Most consider me a little hmmn nutty but a lot of fun. I am drawn to people who may seem very different than most but I seem to understand them.

When I love I do with my whole heart. When I am upset I tend to see the worst cinereo and run from things to stop from getting hurt. I love music and new things to do. I have no problem just packing a bag and taking off for a day or even a weekend with maybe no idea where we are going.

[gaea]

sometime i think i am...

I love doing my own nails as much as having them done in the shop, i love the way i feel spoiled when i can go to the shop and have them done.I love them long and I love that they are mine.

I despise shopping just to shop i need a purpose. I have my girly stuff all over the top of my dresser and i am just fine with that, it is where i do my makeup and hair every morning. That is my space just for me.

I love tanning and how my skin loves the sun..

I despise bugs in every form, i love camping please dont remind me there are bugs and we will get along just fine, i can put up a tent cook, not worry about showers etc.

I have tools and know how to use them...id prefer to not break a nail using them so if i don't have to i wont.

i once called my son in law to come change my tire on a dark road , he did then when he was done he reminded me that i had AAA, i reminded him that this is what he was here for ...to change my tire besides he reached me a lot faster than AAA would have.

Im the woman in red, im the girl next door, im somewhere in the middle..Im that kind of girl.

I like road trips where i don't have to drive however am willing to share if the road trip is a long one.

I like books and movies and superb conversation...I like to talk, I like to share, I like listening and learning as well.

I love the ocean, the mountains and everything in between.

Im the girl one can take home to "momma" as well as the other girl lol

Im the girl that can pull off business suits and mini skirts all in the same week.

Im the kind of girl who believes in dressing properly for the occasion even if you are only going to the grocery store.

[persiphone]

i'm a few different things depending on what's going on. i'm currently tired a lot from my heavy schedule so that makes me less fun and patience for stupid is the first thing i ditch.

i know exactly what i want and what i don't want.

i chase my dreams and make them a reality, i'm that driven.

i'm attracted to kindness and anything less will make me quickly lose interest, so lower your voice....yelling just makes me deaf to you.

sure i'm girly, but playing in the dirt is too much fun.

i hope you like to eat because i express love with the creation of food.

manners. i enjoy them. find yours. especially whilst in my house or expect to be expelled from it.

i keep a fast pace so keep up....but when i'm taking time off don't rush me.

i like to laugh. i crave it.

romance shromance. ppffftttt.

i'm a tactile femme. touching, kissing, rough housing. yes please!

[Star Anise]

I noticed that my ex and I actually wear quite similar styled clothes sometimes (jeans and a V neck sweater), yet on her they look butch and on me they look femme.

I guess it does help that she wears her version on the baggier side, where as I wear mine on the tighter side. Still essentially the same outfit, with a totally different look.

So my conclusion was, that it is not just the type of clothes, but how you wear them and how you hold yourself in them.

I am a femme through and through.

[mariamma]

It's hard to say what makes me femme. I wonder just how femme I am sometimes. There are so many possible things that can make me femme but don't those things also make me a woman?
I can make a house a home. I can sew a dress. I can plan and make a dinner for 20. I am womanly. Probably the most important womanly thing I do is change those around me by listening and bearing witness to life. Does that make me femme? Not really. That skill is because I'm priestess.
I love to wear heels with dark red polish peaking out of the open-toed shoes. Gold polish works as well. I love to make a big, wonderful meal for my lover and feel her gush with appreciation and joy. Does that make me a femme? I wear skirts and dresses, smell like roses, am the one lost kids are drawn to when they want to be found and my children trust me enough to reveal all their secrets to me. That makes me a mother.
I love women. I love supporting and loving all women. Without my sisters growing up, I'd be dead or broken. My eldest sister taught me to love with an open mind and free spirit. The women in my life have made me whole. I'm proud to be a woman and love to be in my skin. I dance and am part of a local group of sisters who dance. This doesn't really make me femme but....it's close.
When I see butch or masculine women, the part of me that loves women burst out with squealing desire and sighs. I am femme because I love butch women. I love the swagger, the muscled arms, the roughened hands. I love the patchwork of tanned skin, the quick wit and charm, the clever quips. I love the bold style, the vibrant living, the proud, strident walk.
The sight of butch women makes me arch my back and watch with heady anticipation. I will inhale deeper and watch their every move. I'll adjust my skirt so I'm as appealing to the eye as possible. Sometimes I'll touch my neck unconsciously as I undress them with my mind. The sight of butch women makes me swoon and suddenly feel intoxicated with desire. I will sit, stand, pivot, walk or dance differently. I will emote differently. I will speak differently. I will flow into my most comfortable state of being. This is what makes me a femme. I am femme because I love butch women.

[lettertodaddy]

I'm this kind of femme:

Lipstick and flats. Leaving powder on your collar. Bookish and introverted. Wouldn't know what to do at a nail salon, but knows my way around Sephora/a makeup counter. Jeans and sweaters most of the time, but who loves to get dressed up for a special event (or just a nice dinner). Nappy headed, dreadlocked womanist with trust issues who loves deeply and fiercely. Always puts a camera in your face, because butches are beautiful, and you're the most beautiful of all. Wounded, but ready to love again. Hopeful. Funny. Fiercely loyal.

[lettertodaddy]

whoops, posted earlier

[Ms. Tabitha]

I am a Queer Femme who Is a Mother, a Grandmother, a Sister, an Aunt, a Daughter and a Friend. I have put my life on the line without a second thought. I have saved lives and held the hand of those whose time was running out. I am strong, compassionate, reserved and passionate. I listen and have strong shoulders. I have common sense and logic. I am an Aquarius. I hide my emotions and will smile and tell you everything is fine even if it is not. My love is pure and given without judgment or expectations. I believe in friendship, communication and laughter. I am sweet with a sassy, mysterious side. I love romance and hand holding; yet, I also like lustful raunchy sex. I am lady who is strong willed and mindful; yet, I have a submissive side. I'm a kisser, a hugger, and a hand holder. I am patient, nurturing and generous, but yet I can also be unemotional and detached. I have a warped sense of humor. I am funny and quite unique. I'm a humanitarian. I am honest and loyal, almost to a fault. In my true German blood, I have a tendency to be stubborn and head strong. I make friends easily but once on my bad side that is where you stay.

I am supportive and respectful. I will try anything twice - this way I can make sure I didn't like it the first time. I am a great defender and protector, not only in what I believe, but to those I love and hold dear. I'm a flirt. I like old movies and football. I like to dress up and dress down and I look good both ways. I wear make up; sometimes I don't, but I always smell good. I love my pedicures and manicures and yet I am not afraid to get messy. I love to cook and bake. I show my gratitude and I am thoughtful and respectful. I love to spoil and pamper'; you will always know where you stand with me. I love to cuddle closely, but yet I enjoy my space. I'm a giver. I'm a lover. I' a helper. I enjoy a good movie, but I also love to read. I love rainy days and hot tea. I love over sized t-shirts and a good cup of coffee. I have a green thumb and a sense for design and décor. I love a clean and tidy home and I enjoy being organized. I always have a camera and a sense of adventure. I am understanding. I am forgiving and I am fair. I'm great at multitasking. I enjoy music of all types. I love Lowe's as much as I love Ulta. I am a Lady, always. I am, Me.

[*Anya*]

I am the femme that is a port in the storm for the butch that has the courage to go out into an unaccepting, unforgiving world to be exactly who and what they are

I am the femme that is the keeper of butch secrets

I am the femme in whose lap lays a butch who needs solace but will never tell another living soul about that need

The butch card will never be revoked by me.

I am strong and at times, weak; brave and at times, fearful; courageous and at times-not-so-much

I am an every-woman and at the same time, uniquely me

I am femme

[Dominique]

I'm too sexy for my self!

I discovered velcro rollers (reminds me of sponge curlers way back when)
I love what they do for my hair, and no more heat treatment. :|

[Slowpurr]

I know who I am not....which is more poignant at the moment and of course leads to self knowledge.

I am not that femme who can be with someone who says "I can be butch".

I am not that femme who can be with someone who says "I can do that for awhile until we figure out why you are like you are".

[disinterested]

I don't wear a dress to our date, but I'll look great.
I'll have spent hours in bath and in front of my garderobe.
My shoes fit to my scarf and I'm wearing jewelry all over.

If you need to be cool - not opening the door for me and divide the bill -
it will be the first and the last date.
I don't need your macho attitude, but i adore you, if you're sure of yourself, charismatic, individual woman with bright eyes and sweet smile.

I've got a responsible position and I hope you found your way in life, too.
Have my flat, my car, my cat and all other stuff I need to life, and want to share with you, if you know, how to value.

I exactly know what I don't want and I'll let you know - in a roundabout way.

I love sarcasm, irony and wordplay - practicing every day.

yes ... and I'm typically Sagittarius - can love 180 percent on one day and will be bored out on the next :)

[SweetJane]

What kind of femme am I? Hmm.
I used to think I was a tomboi femme because I love to camp, fish, hike, and learn to do my own car repairs.....But you know that's not all that I am.

Maybe I'm a bluejean femme who feels more comfortable in tight jeans and a t-shirt but I might pair it with a white rabbit ski jacket in the winter...There is still a fierce femme in me.

I can do business casual well and can strut into a meeting with confidence and a little bling.

I can also do high opera with a long black gown, hair just so, and a smile that will get you. But the high heels are a thing of the past and showing leg is only for the bedroom---though I have a dream this year of wearing a pair of red heel and a killer skirt slit up to my thigh.....

Femme is an attitude. It's confidence. It's just who I am.

It's also my gentle approach with people, though I can nail you to the wall with words if you abuse me with your snarky attitude.

Femme is also my approach to life and living.

[spritzerJ]

I am the femme:
- that languishes without tripping the cognitive triggers of whatever interests me at the moment.
- that would protect you with devotion but you'll have to tell me how. Since you are unique and deserves to be treated just so. And I am a terrible guesser ;)
-who doesn't dress to get attention of lots of eyes. I dress up for the ones I want. For those that holds open the safe space to be girly.
- will expose herself to show you the energy within worth stroking.
- you'll have to catch giggling and dancing when I think you aren't looking. If you want me to be that open about it you'll get to lead the way.
- who blossoms in space and closeness.
- that knows the power in silence but must be reminded.
- who struggles mightily with being vulnerable and needs to be told to let go over and over.

there is more... there's always more.

[macele]

now, today, first time seeing this thread. i started on last page (i sometimes read books that way), and as i'm reading ... the posts keep getting better and better. so i thought, ok, lets go to the beginning and read ... just for moods sake. after reading medusa's post, i don't know how anyone could follow lol. i say this respectfully. high five to medusa. i will continue reading ... you all tell your femme mighty fine.

[kittygrrl]

but why would i want to limit who i am by your imagination or my own?..i live and our realities are recreated and merge moment to moment- how can i put words or labels to define that?..impossible..just sayin..

[starryeyes]

I am a girly femme. I love dressing up, make up, hair, and I am usually the most dressed up person wherever I go.

I am an independent femme. I own my own house, I pay my own bills, I have my own business, I own my own car... yadayada, you get the picture!

But, at the same time, I am a dependent femme. I need a strong partner I can depend on, who will take care of me, who will make me feel safe and secure, and who puts me first.

I am a loving femme. I love hard and strong. I am very faithful to the person I am with, and also my friends and my family. I take care of the person that I am with, and always put them first.

I am a sensitive femme. I get hurt easily, I get attached very easily, I fall love way too easily and I cry at movies, sad stories, whatever.

I am a proud femme. Proud to be queer, proud to love butches, proud to be girly, and proud of who I have become.

But overall, I feel I am a pretty awesome femme. I love who I am, who I have become and the prospects of my future!!

Femmes rock!!!!

Smiles!

[msW8ing]

Today i am the dazed and confused femme second guessing myself and my decisions :seeingstars: :tarot:

[SuddenlyWestFemme]

I am femme.

...But this year has been hard, and I’ve relied on compliments and worn-down thought patterns to tell me what MY femme-ness is.


Wow... love this! (love the whole thread). This year has been hard and I've also relied on compliments and worn-down thought patterns to tell me what MY femme-ness is.

But along the way I've learned a thing or two about the kind of Femme I really am.

I am a NYCFemme who had to learn to mow the Seattle lawn while crying my eyes out. That darned grass refused to stop growing just because I was alone.

I am a NYCFemme who had to learn to fix the furnace because the kids needed heat and there was nobody else to do it.

I am a NYCFemme who had to take out the trash, clean out the gutters, catch and release those scary wolf spiders, and change a tire.

I am a NYCFemme who had to learn to leave the arts - my passion - to enter the 'real world' to pay the bills on my own, buy a car to get me to work, make Seattle friends (still working on this one) and know that I am enough on my own.

2800 miles and life changing loss showed me that FEMME means I have the gift of being strong enough to overcome any obstacle!

Could I have done all this if I wasn't Femme? Sure... but it certainly wouldn't have been as lovely.

[uniquetobeme]

Lets see...I don't always wear make-up, a dress, and high heels, but I love it when I do. I'm a mom and have a very nurturing nature. I am sensitive, giving, and I have a big heart.

Oh, I LOVE getting my nails done and seeing my toes with purple polish and for some strange reason, I seem to type better when I have nail polish on my fingers...

A cute butch always catches my eye. It is profound, those moments we pass in a grocery store and lock eyes for a second that feels like an eternity...anyway...LOL

I don't need much, but I do really enjoy all the little things that make me feel special. Ok, I love to be spoiled, and I don't mean with gifts (although I don't mind those LOL), but I mean opening the door for me, saying and doing things that make me feel like a lady, making time for me, and flirting with me (which are actually the best gifts to me).

This may sound wrong, but I love when someone I'm attracted to is attracted to me, and that discomfort that they show, it is adorable. Or, the first time they see me in a dress and heels and are speechless...or can't form a complete sentence..that rocks :-) Ok, I like what I do to butch women, but not at all in a malicious way. Alright...I'll admit it...I might be a slight tease...but I don't think they mind...LOL (plus it all turns around and I end up wrapped around their finger...so I enjoy my moments while I have them) LOL

There is so much more, but at some point, or perhaps at all points, it becomes difficult to distinguish which traits are specified to the kind of femme I am and to who I am as a person...so, maybe I should keep it simple and say that I'm just a femme and I like it :-)

[girl_dee]

BUMPPPP for the femme sisters!


today i feel fearless and brave!

[LipstickLola]

It's time for me to change the oil in my truck again. I'll probably wear my pink ballcap, and just a tad of lipstick. ;)

It will be nice to be someone's princess again someday :princess:

[Lady Pamela]

This is one of my favorite threads...So I had to BUMP IT, in hopes all you femme's out there will add to it.

It is such a beautifully raw, truthful thread...gotta love it!

Hope to see more writing...smiles

[Gemme]

I am a Gemini femme in every way.

I bore easily.

I love the shinies and sparklies.

I give 100% when I dive into something. Of course, when I lose interest and embark on another venture, I give that one 100% too.

One of the most hurtful comments someone ever made to me was that I bored them. I take great pride in bringing excitement and variety to someone's life, even if things aren't always hunky dory, so that really hit me hard and deep.

I go from 0 to 60 in .2 seconds. I am Italian and have that temperament. Little stuff blows over quickly and without damage. Big stuff simmers like a pot of sauce for a long time and when I'm done, prepare for the big kaboom.

One minute, I am demure and soft and sweet and the next, I am crass and mean and sassy. Contradictions, yes. I have them. Embody them.

Terms used to describe me (by myself and others) include: finicky, selfish, giving, funny, bright, loud, quiet, vulnerable, defensive, annoying, pleasant, driven, lazy, chunky, tiny, private, open, fearless, scared shitless, bold, shy, talented, dramatic, wallflower, spirited, an emotional void, as well as umpteen others. I'm sure this has cleared up any questions one might have about who I am. :blink:

There are always multiple streams of thought in my head. I see every situation from multiple angles and, while I attempt to wade through the variables, people often assume I am wishy washy. I'm not...usually. I just want to make the very best decision and/or choice possible. Some times that takes time.

I have control issues. When I feel control is being taken from me, without my consent and without negotiation, I throw up walls.

I firmly believe in the mantra *my body, my choice*. I determine who and what touch my body and in what capacity. If someone doesn't respect that and my body, then it will be my choice to knock them on their ass. Despite my short stature, I am perfectly capable of doing just that.

While I am perfectly capable of many things, I derive pleasure from people doing things for me. Not because they think they should, but because they want to, and I want to do things for them. It's a cycle that, once in motion, is mutually symbiotic. I am his Princess; he is my Prince.

Music is life. I, literally and absolutely, would not be here...typing this...breathing air...without it. I don't care what anyone thinks, but I know for a fact that Madonna saved my life and, in return, she gets at least 15 songs on my MP3, always and forever. Even with over 1300 songs on it, that is devotion, man.

I have eclectic tastes. Musically, I love Madonna, Kelly Clarkson, Aretha, Marvin Gaye, Christina Aguilera, Nickelback, Daughtry, Disturbed, Rob Thomas, TSO, Tina Arena, Chaka Khan, Adam Lambert, 3 Doors Down, *Nsync, Timbaland, Missy Elliott, Annie Lennox/Eurythmics, Bianca Ryan, Black Eyed Peas, Carrie Underwood, Britney, Deborah Gibson, DJ Laz, Faith Hill, God-des and She, Hilary Duff, Leona Lewis, Maroon 5, Prince, Rick Spingfield, Rick James, James Brown, Three Days Grace, Vanessa Hudgens, Ciara, Everlife and about 5000 other singers, musicians, bands and groups.

I rarely have one favorite of anything. Mostly, it's my top 3 faves. I do have a favorite movie though. I decided, as a child watching it, that that was going to be my favorite and it was done.

I compartmentalize things very well.

I am a referential artist and crafter, though my skill level is minimal.

I never know what to say to someone when they suffer a great loss. I feel helpless in situations in which I don't know what the 'right' thing to do or say is.

I often end my sentences with prepositions and I don't care, even though I fancy myself a writer on occasion and am kind of a grammar snob (but only about certain things).

I am Wonderland and sometimes, I feel like Alice, lost deep within myself.





*bumping my own stuff*

Cuz, like Lady Pamela, I want to hear what my femme sisters have to say.

[girl_dee]

i am a femme who has yet to conquer all the things she's wanted to, i'll get there!

[Lady Pamela]

Pardon me for bouncing..but I loved this thread and want to see if anyone else wanted to post in it. smiles

[yotlyolqualli]

What kind of femme and I?

I am the kind of femme who likes to wear jeans, skirts, shorts and dresses equally. I very rarely wear/use makeup. I've worn heels twice in the past year and both times told myself "never again!" They HURT!

I am the kind of femme who likes to get her hands dirty. Nothing like running my fingers through freshly overturned soil. I love gardening, though I hate weeding.

I am the kind of femme who will dress somewhat modestly, but not matronly. If/when I am with someone, that person only, gets to see anymore than what I show the world, both figuratively and literally.

I can paint my nails and do sometimes, but never mourn one that gets broken.

I am a nurturer by nature. I am strong enough to carry heavy items, independent enough to think and act under my own volition and clever enough to build a deck.

I am a femme who knows how to use tools, even power tools (except my pretty purple and lime green chainsaw....*sighing). I have swung a hammer in my lifetime, as well as a maul and an axe.

I am the kind of femme who will cook for you, sew buttons on your shirts or fix a tear or patch a hole. I will bake for you, care for you and even cede things to you. However, I will not cater to you.

I am the kind of femme who hates housework, but will do it because it's "my job" and I've yet to find someone to do it for me. My Mother used to say that that was why she had so many children. :superfunny:

Finally, I am me. Unique, sometimes odd, often sarcastic (light heartedly most of the time) often vulnerable, but strong enough to mend my own wounds and strengthen my own weaknesses. I love deeply and protect fiercely.

I may not be the perfect femme. I may not be high maintenance. I may not be ultra girly. But if I were, then I wouldn't be me and I LIKE me and love being me.

PS. to compensate for my pretty chainsaw being taken away by my father (he was afraid for my safety) I went out and bought a pretty orange and purple fishing pole. When I told my brother this, he rolled his eyes, took my "fly fishing rod" away, and gave me one for the kind of fishing I ws attempting to do. It was an ugly brown :(

[Beloved]

I am FEMME

I am fiercely loyal and will love you with all that I am. I crave emotional intensity and this can lead me into relationships with people that aren't really good for me. I am very forgiving but if you hurt me over and over my love will dry up and my soul will pull away.

I have been a girly girl since birth. As a toddler I refused to wear pants. I can fall in love several times a day with a child, a cat, a phrase, a song. I love shopping, sparkly things, babies, and animals. I am compassionate. I save turtles, lizards and snakes from the road. I even save caterpillars and bugs on the sidewalk.

I have been through hell and back and have put the hours in in therapy to heal myself. I was diagnosed with PTSD after being kidnapped and held against my will at 18 years old. Please don't ask me about it because I only talk about it with people I am close to. As bad as it was I wouldn't change it because it made me who I am today. I am a survivor and I am stronger because of it.

I am strong, independent, opinionated, and take care of myself. That doesn't mean I don't like being taken care of at times. I am powerful but I will give up that power in the bedroom to a butch that is worthy and I feel safe with. I am affectionate and kinky and I love sex. Good sex is built on trust and trust is very sexy. It gives you the ability to let go and enjoy the ride.

I am a mother and I love my daughter more than anything in the world. Don't fuck with my kid because you will lose.

I am a work in progress. I am always trying to improve myself. I am not perfect but I am me and I am femme.

[~ocean]

one word to describe who i am.. a "keeper"

[pinkgeek]

I am a femme who reads almost anything with words, obsessed with the wordsmitthing of others. Who wears dirt smudges with mascara and leaps from tall building to save kittens, or books, or shoes, and most certainly her friends. I am not fearless or scarless or tattooless.

I am irreverent and reverent in the same breathy mouthful of sarcastic pragmatism. My heart lives under the scale of a dragon and the leaf of a plant, inside the purse of a strange lost girl and on the shelf of a kitchen that over looks the ocean.

I collect lip gloss as readily as I collect knowledge. My hair has it's own zip code and fan club. I've learned to embrace my mane the 5 letters of my plain tall name.

I love harsh climates and jagged passionate reality poured over my favorite summer wine from Italy. I infuse my gin with Earl Grey tea and my whiskey with masala spices.

I study in a tiara. I am probably an acquired taste.

[Ginger]

Good sex is built on trust and trust is very sexy. It gives you the ability to let go and enjoy the ride.


I so agree with you about trust!
Scout

[shiagirl]

I am a Chameleon
Many colors

Even my pictures don't all look like me, just versions of me.

[laruss]

First I want to say, that I read through from the beginning and was so impressed. I have a few femme crushes now.

What kind of Femme am I?

I am the feisty, flirty, don't fuck with me kind of femme.

I do what I want, when I want. I do who I want as much as possible.

I don't often wear dresses, but love the heels, even in the bedroom.

I am a jeans and t-shirt kind of femme. But I can rock a corset.

I don't wear a lot of jewelry, but I always have a pendant on. I own more Wow necklaces then anyone I know.

I love barefeet so my toes are always done. I wear sandals as soon as I can, the snow is not always even gone and will wear them until it gets too cold.

I can change my own oil or tire, but I choose not to.

I am super smart and you better be able to keep up or you won't be around long.

I love my house to be clean and esthetically pleasing, but don't expect me to clean it, that is what house keepers are for. I love to decorate and have a rocking art collection.

I am super corporate professional and bohemian artist.

At work I am super organized and at home tend to be completely scattered.

I want to know everything about you, but will forget and ask you again.

I know what I want and I'm not afraid to ask for it.

I expect people in my life to appreciate me as much I appreciate them.

I love to have the best of what I like and have no qualms about spending the money to get it.

I love to travel and experience new things. I love to live life.

I believe that what you put out gets returned and that Karma is a bitch if you are.

I am super sexy and flirty and love to talk dirty, but there is a time and a place for everything. Ok, almost all the time.

I like to be fucked and I want you to be in control in the bedroom, or hallway, or park, or wherever you take me. I like to change things up and will try almost anything. Tie me up and you get to keep me.

I get bored easily and change my mind constantly.

I have reinvented myself at least a dozen times and there are probably another dozen times to come.

People in my life need to be sharp and on their toes to keep up.

I flirt with everyone, and it better not be a problem if you're my partner.

I don't really do jealousy, I don't understand it. But if I make a commitment, know that I have the integrity to stand behind it and I expect you to as well.

I speak my mind, but am quick to apologize if I hurt you.

I will always talk straight, I don't bullshit.

I like to think I am always honest, but I tend to compartmentalize parts of my life, so absolutely no one knows everything about me. I am to you what I give you.

I have immense integrity and if pushed will do the hard thing because it is the right thing.

I am the type of Femme who lives life on my own terms and no one elses.

But when I love, I love hard.

I can be sweet, kind, compassionate and brutally honest.

I am sexy and curvy and my eyes glitter when I flirt with you.

I have crazy curly hair that always makes me look like I've just been fucked.

I am confident and fun.

I am the Femme that is all that and more.

[thedivahrrrself]

I am both stronger and more fragile than I appear. I accomplish most of the things I do out of sheer persistence and willpower; I'm not naturally good at many things, but I will work hard to make it look easy. I am fiercely independent, and I think I can do most things better than you, or anyone else for that matter. Go ahead, prove me wrong.

If there is only one thing left and we both want it, I'll let you have it. Or if I really, really want it, I will convince you why it is more logical for me to have it.

I am all-day lipstain. I don't want to fuck with makeup more than once in a day. I'm no foundation most days, unless I have a pimple. Then, I'm very self-conscious. Eye makeup is reserved for days when I wear contacts, or very special occasions. I'm big, funky glasses.

I'm clear nail polish on my fingers, and God-only-knows-what-color-I-was-in-the-mood-for-the-day-I-got-a-pedicure on my toes. I have natural nails. Fake nails hold too many germs. My nails like to chip, so they are often filed to slightly different lengths. I think the middle one chips from hitting the roof of my car so much. I'm an aggressive, and fast, driver. I drive a stick. Don't ride my ass, or I will let you know what fun things you can do in a standard.

I love platforms, hair color, vintage jewelry, big, puffy skirts, and rouched dresses. I hate most patterns, but I'll probably wear it if it makes my body look good. I like to dance. I'm not that good at it, but if I can do it, anyone can. So, get your ass on the floor!

I am polite. I don't often forget pleases, thank yous, or have-a-nice-days. I open the door for everyone. If I let you open the door for me, recognize that I actually had to think about this, stop, let you catch up (I'm a fast walker), and let you open the door. I did this for you, because I know you like to feel chivalrous.

If I let you see any further than skin-deep with me, feel special. I will tell almost anyone what I do. If I tell you how I feel, you better listen. I'm not likely to repeat it.

I don't always know what I want, and I am not likely to ask for it. I am extremely affectionate until I feel rejected. Then, I am cold. Be careful what you say to me. I will internalize the things you may not want me to remember later. I need to cry sometimes, but it's hard to get me there. My trust is wavering - at times I don't even trust myself. So don't break it. It's very hard to repair.

I am opinionated and I cuss like a sailor. I won't cuss around your mom, or your kids, but I say fuck like it's fucking going out of style. It's a nice word, you should try it.

I am a Pisces. I'm moody and over-sensitive, I have the attention span of a 4-year old sometimes, and nothing moves me like music. You can write me a novel, and I'm more likely to cry at a song.

I have tattoos. I don't care what you think of them. I got them for me. Each reminds me of something important that I forgot once and swore never to forget again, and the quarter-sleeve on my arm made it possible for me to wear tank tops in public without worrying about how fat my arms are. It's not finished yet, and it probably won't be my last tat, though it will probably satiate me for a few years.

I'm terrible with names. I wish that weren't so.

I contradict myself constantly. Pointing that out is likely to get you nowhere. I have lazy days, but I'm generally very hardworking, just not at the things I probably should work hard at. I'm more likely to work my ass off doing something for you than for myself. I give and give and give and give, and when I've given too much, I retreat inside myself. I've been known to run to the convent for solace and inner reflection. I use religion like a drug, but I pray every night.

I'm very maternal. If I don't have a child of my own, I'm likely to have people or pets I take care of. Family members, friends who need help, random homeless people, stray animals... I'm a sucker for someone in need. You can help me make rational decisions, but don't try to discourage this, or I will end up mothering you. And believe me, you don't want that.

Oh, and did I mention I'm long-winded? Maybe that goes without saying...

[KayCee]

With esp. these last two posts I see so much of myself. Good to know there're other femmes 'out there' who are similar to what I feel/act too. Sometimes I think...'I'm somewhat 'off' with my thinking or my way to interact with others, but after reading this thread I think I can't be that 'bad' or 'off' either.

Thank you!

[Lady Pamela]

I am a proud mother of 5 and grandmother of 12.
I am a sister of 13 siblings.
I have a compassionate, loving, caring spirit which I love to share.
I look at life as though a child, as not to miss the magic and
beauty and miracles children have not forgotten to see.

I am the child, the girl, the woman and the crone.
I am a believer in all that is true and cannot be broken down.
I am Pisces
I am a star gazer, moon watcher,sun dancer and make images out of the clouds.

I am a teacher.
I am the student.
I am the seeker.
I am a survivalist
I am the camper
I am the explorer
I am Yin and Yang

I am silly and love to joke around and play.
I dance to the beat of my own drum!
I am a hippie, witch, psychic medium, empathic healer, biker chick.
I am multifaceted in ever area of my life.
I am the protector of those I love or those who are not able to protect themselves.

I love to laugh and make others laugh and smile.
I love great conversation over a cup of coffee.
I am a hopeless even corny romantic.
I love to be romanced.
I love to create things with my hands.
I love working with tools and building things.
I am a dancer, singer and music lover on a huge scale.
I am a survivor Not a victim of cancer, many different types of abuse, being burnt by a fire, loosing a step child.

I have been and activist and would be again if needed.
I am strong in nature
I am a thinker
When struck wrong I do voice myself..Sometimes loudly
I am a devoted sister both to my siblings and those I call sister/brother.

I embrace my feminine side
I am sugar and spice and everything nice.
But I also have a bold side
I am at times..Short fused
I get angry
I can be like drinking a cup of straight lemmon juice if provoked.
I am naughy and nice.
I am right, and I am wrong

I get sad and sorrowful
I get lonely
I despise lies..yet have been the liar
I am addict but Oct 10th will be 20 years clean
I am a sexual creature
I get embarrassed easily
I don't like to be put on the spot
When backed into a corner, I become the cougar
If someone harms my loved ones, My claws and teeth appear. And my wild nature shows itself.

I give my all to those who treat me with respect and dignity
I am one to be trusted with anything
I am a giver as well as a receiver

Just to name a few,
Because I am endless in who I am, for I am a forever changing Femme


Proud Femme!
http://i210.photobucket.com/albums/bb218/commentsjunkie/gaymix/proud-yingyang-4.gif

I have to revise a bit and add to it as well.

Where I had written 20 years drug free... i jumped the gun by a year. This October 10th will actually be my 20th year.

Since I wrote this, things have changed in my life.
Due to my daughters devorce, I lost 3 step children.
One daughter had a child. Then due to a daughters wedding, I got 2 more granchildren.

So the updated information is:

I am the proud mother of 3 beautiful daughters. And 2 handsome sons. I adopted my last one.
As a result,
1 am the proud grandmother of 6 wonderful granddaughters. And 7 awesome gradsons.
Grand tottal is 13 grandchildren so far.

I am a sister to 13 siblings.
On my mothers side, I was raised with 7 siblings. Of which I am the baby of those. Two of those brothers have transended already.
On my fathers side, I am the middle child of 7 children.
I have 6 siblings, 3 sisters and 3 brothers.

I am a carnival worker
A face and body painter
A crystal jewelry maker
A personal house maid

I truely love to become full of Joy Rising. And to share that with all wanting to feel the same.
I am one who dearly loves and gets excited, when others become excited and full of gratitude.

I am very thankful for both, family, friends and aquaintances.
I am richer, stronger and happier from my experiences and friendships. Ones online as well as off.
And I can honestly say I am stronger due to the connections here on the Butchfemmeplanet.

I am and will forever be,
An Multi-fauccetted, Evolving Femme !!!

[Lady_Di]

Pondering a lot about this lately, trying to nail it down to a few well chosen words...

I too love this thread!

will contemplate further before I post what my hammer and nails find in this femme brain o mine~

[Kätzchen]

I am Femme

My femme identity is marked by death-defying logic that embraces a kaleidoscope of many social constructions.

I revel in all that I am able to learn about: by either listening to or reading up on a plethora of subjects.

The more I know, the better I feel. I learn in different ways – mostly I learn by observation – noticing complexity in the way people choose to behave or communicate and because of my ardent desire to understand as fully as possible, I’ve spent most of my life in the background – not desiring foreground recognition.

I don’t need anyone to validate who I am.

I am also a mother to two sons (and a daughter) and while it would seem that the male side of the population longs to oppress and dress down female bodied human beings, I will abandon my love for being in the background and will come out of the woodwork, with an undeniable force, and return your egregious soul to the place it belongs.

I’m a lover.

I’m a fighter.

I’m quiet; yet when I have something to say, I make sure I am heard.

I’m loyal, but when I discover non-reciprocal, inequitable relationship processes, I will cut you out of my life.

I am a survivor of many forms of abuse. I believe in checking up on my own boundary systems – because I tend to welcome exploration and discovery of things I have no knowledge of. Mostly, I feel that the wiggle room I allow for my boundaries is managed judiciously.

If I choose to share my power with you, I expect you to honor my power, as I will yours.

I like to pamper myself - my indulgences, proclivities include: wearing makeup (or not), keeping my hair coiffed beautifully, keeping my hands and feet well taken care of, and sleeping as long as I feel led to do so because I do tend to require lots of sleep – especially if I have had to stay up for long periods of time to get my duties accomplished.

I am sensual. My appetite for having sex still exists – I crave closeness, reciprocal levels of intimacy – before my sexual fire can be lit and rage out of control. My Femme being is of a Queer orientation.

I desire and require your full attention.

I am intelligent and my range of intelligence will surprise you.

I have been my best friend and confidante for years now and I care deeply for myself and how I am treated.

I am sensitive.

I can also be heartless, cold, insensitive and unfeeling, when the occasion calls for me to be this way.

I am passionate.

I am filled with compassion.

I am filled with humility by my lack of perfection and ability to be perfect.

My Femme perfection is a potent elixir. Not everyone is able to tolerate the taste of me.

But I am loved. I do love. I am liked for who I am. I am also disliked and I am okay with that.

I’m an assessor and I evaluate and process at a relentless pace. I’m also known to shut down and wall out distraction, noise that keeps me from hearing what I need to hear.

I’m fearless.

I’m not afraid to die. I have died on numerous occasions. I choose to live in the present moment.

I am known to wonder and revel in that which is deliciously intoxicating.

I am artistic – I love to draw, sing, play music, listen to music, paint, create sculpture – I appreciate art in all the forms I have discovered and enjoyed.

I love to cook foods and prepare sumptuous meals.

I am reserved, sometimes shy. I am highly expressive under the right conditions. I am very communicative. I am expert in my field of communication.

I surprise myself and others.

I am a precious gift, unwrap me with care.

Adore me, cherish me, and recognize me as the Goddess I am, for I am: Femme.

:blueheels:

Like Gemme, I'm bumping my post too.

I have revised mine (from two years ago) a tiny bit,
but my list today is an exact representation of who I am.

Yours Truly,

:stillheart:

-Kätzchen-

[SleepyButch]

The Femme that I am....

Okay so I am not femme but did not want to intrude.... just wanted to say that I am enjoying reading this thread. Keep them coming!!

[shiagirl]

I can be hard to get to know and even harder to understand...
Once you do know me and understand me you can't help but love me.

[DMW]

I can be hard to get to know and even harder to understand...
Once you do know me and understand me you can't help but love me.


I read this in my sleepy morning coffee state...and went AAAAAWWWW.

[Nomad]

i'm the femme that is both strangely drawn to and doesn't know what to write in forums like this one. so i type and delete and type and delete and type and delete because everything i write seems trite, falsely humble or blatantly self-serving.

the most honest thing i can come up with is that i'm the kind of femme that wants to feel safe and is tired of nodding her head when other people say "that feeling comes from inside of you, not outside of you". to those people i can only nod in logical agreement and say "thankyousoveryfuckoffmuch."

i'm the kind of femme that does one helluva lot wrong and maybe a little bit right and i hafta hang on to that little bit right because it makes me feel like rehabilitation might be possible. one day, with luck and some divine grace, i'll make a full recovery into realgrownuphumanbeinghood.

i'm the kind of femme with a lot of mouth and not too many brains but the brains i have work just fine so you can stop trying to dazzle me with your bull and your ridiculous excuses because i've heard them all and from smoother than you. i'm a sucker for charm and a fool for love and i may not hang around for a second helping of damnthishurtslikecrazy but i also don't just turn love off when the spit hits the spinny propeller thingy, so no matter where we end up neither one of us will be alone because i'm here for both of us until one of us is dead.

i'm the directionless femme that drags her raggletaggle girlfaith north, east and west when life is going south. i can mcgyver together some hope with a piece gum, a dozen broken promises, a sappy romance movie, two sticks and a dead bee. call me stupid. call me naive. just don't call me a taxi because i'll leave when i'm damn well ready and not a minute before. and before i go i'll beat that dead relationship horse until it gets up and walks again just to get away from me. and when you shake your head and say "you're crazy! let it go" i'll say "yup that's me, what of it? how am i hurting you by giving things another shot?" i'd rather give that dead horse a couple of kicks than lose the race because i didn't try.

i'm the kind of femme who misses out on connection because she hides her feelings from and refuses to show vulnerability to just anyone and the next person she does show it to better damn well cherish it or they can collect their ass at the door because i'm gonna hand it to them whenever i feel like it.

i'm the kind of femme that has grown into subtle wariness, becoming (unwillingly) harder on the outside because the inside of me refuses to be exposed to one more person who won't cherish and protect the genuinly warm girl that i am.

i'm the femme who pretends things are fine because people don't like to make room for them not to be. i lie and dissimulate in order to survive the ego responses of others and and i make no pretense about it anymore. everyone does it. i'm just the only person i know who's got the stones to admit it.

[Ginger]

Nomad’s post kind of gave me the spark to write this, because I too have felt some resistance to the question, What kind of femme are you?

I know there are categories of femme that I don’t belong to; I’m not a stone femme or a high femme (the latter I would have to say, not 24/7). I know my ethnic ID, my class ID. But I don’t know my femme ID.

Maybe a prompt will help: I’m the kind of femme that…

stops to pet dogs on the street.

But now all I’ve done is answer the question, What kind of person are you?

I picked up my new glasses tonight, and while they’re perfect, I couldn’t pretend I liked what I saw when I looked in the mirror. Maybe when I’m in this state of mind I block myself from knowing what kind of femme I am (shrug).

I'll try again.

I’m the kind of femme that...

loves smells and color but lives in her head.

Favorite recurring, comforting fantasy:

I live in a house deep in trees with moss, so it must be the south. There’s a front porch. It’s raining, but warm out. I’m barefoot. The planks on the porch are smooth and warm. The house is aqua, red and gold inside—my colors. It's dusk. There is food cooking on the stove, but I’m not cooking it. I’m watching for something, out in the woods. I'm calling to the person inside the house. I'm wearing shorts and I’m happy.

I’m not making up this fantasy, as I go along. I’ve had it for a long time, and it doesn’t make sense because I have no desire to live in the south, and I don’t know if I could live in the woods except on weekends (which I would love). I’ve lived in cities most of my life, and I like apartments with views of skylines, or on the first floor with access to a private garden.

In my last apartment, I could see the Chrysler building from the table where I sat to write at night and listen to music. It gave me a flash of happiness every time I looked up and rested my eyes on it poking up so hopeful and elegant in the midst of those stalwart, steep high rises.

Sometimes I think when I let myself drift into that fantasy of the house in rainy, mossy woods, I’m seeing into the future.

Is that the kind of femme I am? Clairvoyant?

Maybe. Or maybe I’m the kind of femme that lets herself drift intuitively in the right direction.

[sugarnspice]

I love reading these, i love being a member of such a beautiful and diverse group of people that always succeed in awing and inspiring me to be myself.

I am a femme inspired by other femmes <3

[rustedrims]

Thank you to all the femmes who posted.I read through them all.Very impressed with all the personalities,likes and dislikes.Putting it out there and this is why i love being in The Planet.

Ok now i read something about cookies.??
Where can i pick them up.??


Again,Thank you very much Ladies.



s.

[Nomad]

today i'm the kind of femme who has clutch problems. :sigh: sometimes i hate cars.

[Lady_Di]

Thank you to all the femmes who posted.I read through them all.Very impressed with all the personalities,likes and dislikes.Putting it out there and this is why i love being in The Planet.

Ok now i read something about cookies.??
Where can i pick them up.??


Again,Thank you very much Ladies.



s.

I am a femme who always has cookies~!

with a spot of :tea:


actually love to make cookies, I just don't like to eat them all that much, thank goodness!

what are your favourites?

sorry for the thread derail folks, but this is about COOKIES! :|

[nycfem]

Snickerdoodles please :D

I am a femme who always has cookies~!

with a spot of :tea:


actually love to make cookies, I just don't like to eat them all that much, thank goodness!

what are your favourites?

sorry for the thread derail folks, but this is about COOKIES! :|

[rustedrims]

I am a femme who always has cookies~!

with a spot of :tea:


actually love to make cookies, I just don't like to eat them all that much, thank goodness!

what are your favourites?

sorry for the thread derail folks, but this is about COOKIES! :|

YES THIS IS ABOUT COOKIES.!!!

Sometimes that is my meal for the day.I dont know why but it is a big thing with me now is to eat cookies.I love chocolate chip cookies with ice cold milk.My sister makes real good ones.Nice and chewey.I buy her a big bag of chocolate chips sometimes hoping to get some cookies when she bakes them but she has never given me any.Gotta be at her house at the right time to get any.If pressured into it i will drink tea with cookies just to get cookies.:sunglass:.I have said cookies 7 times in this short message.I think i have a cookie problem.I like saying the word cookie.Ok now 9 times.Gotta go. I am getting the shakes from not having cookies.Gezzz 10.!!
Sorry ladies i got a little carried away.
I like reading how wonderful and different you all are.Very refreshing.
Thank-you all. still thinking about cookies.{11}.

s.

[rustedrims]

Snickerdoodles please :D


and snickerdoodles as a chaser
please and thank you

[aishah]

i am deeply moved by this thread and also terrified to post in here.

i am a femme shark (http://www.qzap.org/v5/gallery/main.php?g2_view=core.DownloadItem&g2_itemId=799). i am a mixed indigenous queer crip (disabled) femme. i am passionate about decolonizing femme and claiming femininity as a way of liberating myself so that i can work to transform my community. i celebrate queer disabled fat indigenous femme hotness. i break down normative desirability with my body and my breath.

i am a polyamorous femme with a huge heart. i am kind, loving, and warm to just about everyone i meet. i am the one people rely on for a ready smile and a hug. it is easy for me to love people, and i love hard. when i love you i love you to wholeness.

don't mistake my kindness for weakness. i am strong. physically i might not look like much but fuck with people i love and me and my tiny, ineffectual fists will fuck you up. i am dangerous precisely because i have survived so much and i am not afraid to die.

sometimes i am afraid to live, though. i live with ptsd and anxiety that sometimes scares me into silence and inaction. i do my best to have the courage to move forward with my life anyway.

i talk a lot of shit but i'm a femme teddy bear at heart.

i'm an empathic femme. i am hypersensitive to the needs and energies of people around me, and because of this and trauma, i am very conflict avoidant. sometimes it's a curse. sometimes it's a blessing - i would rather communicate through difficulty and change whatever is causing a problem than fight about it.

in my community i am a femme who holds shit down, hooks shit up, and makes shit happen. i dream transformation into being, bring people together, and make possible what people believed was impossible, one moment at a time. i can hold many sometimes contradicting visions at once. i am an educator and a facilitator.

i am a deeply religious and deeply spiritual femme. to me they are intertwined, as are my faith and my social justice work. together they form the reason i get up in the morning (or afternoon, depending on the day).

i am a stone femme. i am a sex worker. stone for me means that my work gives me emotional boundaries around sex...sometimes physical ones, too, depending on the situation. being stone is what allows my empathic, overly expressive femme self to work effectively. it is the only area of my life in which i compartmentalize.

i'm a baby girl and a submissive femme who loves to strap it on and top from time to time. i'm kinky as hell in bed but there's a special place in my heart for sweet vanilla sex. and i consider blow jobs an art form.

i am a sister and an auntie. i cannot be anyone's biological mother but in my community "ma" or "mama" is a term of respect and endearment and it means so much when people call me that. i am an orphan.

i'm a pajama femme. i am the sexiest jeans and t-shirt femme you'll ever meet. this is out of necessity for survival, but i'm beginning to embrace it, even if it makes me feel like an ugly duckling femme sometimes.

i am a homeless, rootless, and family-less femme who is creating home, community, and family for myself. i value what i know of where i come from and i trust that i am whole despite the gaps in my memory and history.

[Ginger]

i am deeply moved by this thread and also terrified to post in here.

i am a femme shark (http://www.qzap.org/v5/gallery/main.php?g2_view=core.DownloadItem&g2_itemId=799). i am a mixed indigenous queer crip (disabled) femme. i am passionate about decolonizing femme and claiming femininity as a way of liberating myself so that i can work to transform my community. i celebrate queer disabled fat indigenous femme hotness. i break down normative desirability with my body and my breath.

i am a polyamorous femme with a huge heart. i am kind, loving, and warm to just about everyone i meet. i am the one people rely on for a ready smile and a hug. it is easy for me to love people, and i love hard. when i love you i love you to wholeness.

don't mistake my kindness for weakness. i am strong. physically i might not look like much but fuck with people i love and me and my tiny, ineffectual fists will fuck you up. i am dangerous precisely because i have survived so much and i am not afraid to die.

sometimes i am afraid to live, though. i live with ptsd and anxiety that sometimes scares me into silence and inaction. i do my best to have the courage to move forward with my life anyway.

i talk a lot of shit but i'm a femme teddy bear at heart.

i'm an empathic femme. i am hypersensitive to the needs and energies of people around me, and because of this and trauma, i am very conflict avoidant. sometimes it's a curse. sometimes it's a blessing - i would rather communicate through difficulty and change whatever is causing a problem than fight about it.

in my community i am a femme who holds shit down, hooks shit up, and makes shit happen. i dream transformation into being, bring people together, and make possible what people believed was impossible, one moment at a time. i can hold many sometimes contradicting visions at once. i am an educator and a facilitator.

i am a deeply religious and deeply spiritual femme. to me they are intertwined, as are my faith and my social justice work. together they form the reason i get up in the morning (or afternoon, depending on the day).

i am a stone femme. i am a sex worker. stone for me means that my work gives me emotional boundaries around sex...sometimes physical ones, too, depending on the situation. being stone is what allows my empathic, overly expressive femme self to work effectively. it is the only area of my life in which i compartmentalize.

i'm a baby girl and a submissive femme who loves to strap it on and top from time to time. i'm kinky as hell in bed but there's a special place in my heart for sweet vanilla sex. and i consider blow jobs an art form.

i am a sister and an auntie. i cannot be anyone's biological mother but in my community "ma" or "mama" is a term of respect and endearment and it means so much when people call me that. i am an orphan.

i'm a pajama femme. i am the sexiest jeans and t-shirt femme you'll ever meet. this is out of necessity for survival, but i'm beginning to embrace it, even if it makes me feel like an ugly duckling femme sometimes.

i am a homeless, rootless, and family-less femme who is creating home, community, and family for myself. i value what i know of where i come from and i trust that i am whole despite the gaps in my memory and history.




Dear Aisha,

I first read your post on my phone, and froze while I carefully scrolled down to the end. Each piece on the little screen carried so much impact, I couldn't believe there was more like it, just further down, and then more again and again.

Your sense of self and conviction and honesty lift right up off the page and quietly take their rightful place in any world they enter. So now they're in mine.

I'd love to hear more about any of the things you mention; your family history, your sex work and your work in social justice, your polyamorous relationship, your community work, your strategies to deal with your struggles, anything you want to talk about.

There are places all over the threads for you, and I will keep an eye out for you now.

Take care of yourself (I know you do!),
With affection and respect,

Scout

[laruss]

Bumping ;)

[Bleu]

[QUOTE=aishah;610930]i am deeply moved by this thread and also terrified to post in here.
QUOTE]

Dear Aisha,
Like you I am moved by this thread and I too am terified to post here. Also, we have the inability to bear children in common and that, plus so much else you revealed endeared me to you. I am greateful for your strength and I harness it now to find courage. I will stand by your side and make my femmeness known. Here goes...



Femme I Am

I will begin by stating that I am a femme who loves butches, all kinds of butches from one end of the butch spectrum to the other. I admire them all from ultra-soft butches who live on the parenthetic smudge of the eye-liner lined femme realm to FtM trans guys who have punched their fists though societal confines and gone under blades to transform into who they are. I am wholly and completely a lover of all things butch. I am unashamed to walk in public, arm-in-arm with a butch. I am unashamed of my pure delight in their strength and wide-lensed, earthy wisdom. I love the tales their eyes tell. I love their pheromone-filled smell. I love their broad, solid presence. But, when I consider the femme I am, I am not just considering myself in relation to my butch counterparts. I am not just considering my desires, I am not just thinking about sexuality, I am not just pondering play, romance, sex, fucking or even love. Certainly physicality is a part of it and the social aspects of who I am are an integral part of what makes me…me. That thick layer, while creamy, rich and exciting, is just that: a layer. It is not the whole of the femme I am.

When I consider the femme I am, I take into account the many threads of me that have woven the fabric of my being with a tensile strength beyond my wildest dreams. To weave that fabric for you here, I would have to include my spirituality, my sense of right and wrong, my belief in freedom and rights, my ethics, my fiercely protective maternal instinct, my pride, my trepidations and the pieced-together heart that beats strongly in my chest, despite many years of crazing.

I was completely unable to bear children, yet there is an immense maternal instinct that forever burns within me and has molded a framework that houses all the parts of me. That framework is what I reflect my whole person through. The person who I strongly believe God intended me to be, who placed me on this earth to work through me. I am not a perfect person, but I cannot help but be exactly who I am. I am that which is perfect for my place in this world. And, I would pose: who is anyone to question that perfect authority that placed me here? Or that placed any one of us here…and whether or not you agree with my beliefs - that is not my point. My point is what I find helps me be exactly the femme I am is that I must take time to examine, to grow, to seek, to trust, and find community that can only help me in those endeavors of examining, growing seeking and trusting.

I hesitated for a moment in sharing this next story, but I felt it was a clear example of the wisdom BfP community has to offer me in so short a time. And, I hope, I it. I was recently in a conversation where I laughed at something someone said. This person is of our culture. I laughed out of joy as he revealed an intimacy to me that was tender in nature. As you may imagine my laughter hurt his feelings. I was mortified. I immediately apologized and explained that my laughter and lightness about that which he had said were due to the brilliance of what he said. And, my joy was not just so much about what he’d said but how he revealed it to me. I viewed what he had confided as a beautiful and sweet detail of his soul and psyche that I felt would make not only a wonderful piece to write about but a wonderful piece to share with others as a tool of cultural commonality. But, even if he never wanted to share what he had shared with me, with anyone else, I could not help my joy and laughter as my heart rejoiced in how similar his comments had, in my eyes, revealed us to be. I was elated that I found someone with whom I could relate on such a complex and deeply-felt topic. I tell this story, not because I am proud of what happened, but that I learned a little more about compassion through him. I was pure in intention but intention is not always what necessarily matters. In this culture of ours, I learn a great deal each and every day with each and every interaction I have.

I cannot begin to describe how much I rejoice in reading this Planet’s inhabitants’ stories and experiences, especially when something similar has happened to me. Even when the precise situation or experience was not exact to something I have experienced, I often find it easy to relate to because of our common culture, circumstance or the worldly reaction so many of us have to cope with.

Because I am continually growing and learning, with each passing moment of each day, I may not be able to wrestle down the kind of femme I am. Certainly not as eloquently as the glowing souls on this thread have, but there are a few things I do know: I am here. I am femme. And, all the messy details that led me to be the femme I am today are simply experiences and circumstances that are most likely not wholly unlike yours, you…who are reading this.

To all my beautiful, strong, sweet femme sisters, I read about you, your souls shine though your experiences. I find your tales delicious with an unmistakable kindred flavor. I am happy to taste and devour them every day. Through this connection, albeit via an enormous intangible technology, I rejoice in it and therefore you live in me. And I hope that somehow I too live in you. If I know nothing else, I know that I am femme.

Femme I am.

[Amber2010]

I am a femme who is independent.. I handle a very stressful job and many people… I travel a lot for it and do a lot of multi-tasking.
I handle most things in my life and deal with things as they come because that is expected of me.…
That being said…
At home in the bedroom….
I am a femme who wants to curl up with my lover and be held caressed and loved….
I want all the power given to hym and want to feel the way I can’t outside of that room… The rest of the world is to go away and this is the only place I want to be in…
I love to listen to the voice feeling the breath on my neck, strong arms holding me close and feel myself falling in love all over again…
I guess I want what I can’t have outside for all of the hard work and stress that goes with the day to day tasks….

[Bleu]

i'm the femme that is both strangely drawn to and doesn't know what to write in forums like this one. so i type and delete and type and delete and type and delete because everything i write seems trite, falsely humble or blatantly self-serving.

the most honest thing i can come up with is that i'm the kind of femme that wants to feel safe and is tired of nodding her head when other people say "that feeling comes from inside of you, not outside of you". to those people i can only nod in logical agreement and say "thankyousoveryfuckoffmuch."

i'm the kind of femme that does one helluva lot wrong and maybe a little bit right and i hafta hang on to that little bit right because it makes me feel like rehabilitation might be possible. one day, with luck and some divine grace, i'll make a full recovery into realgrownuphumanbeinghood.

i'm the kind of femme with a lot of mouth and not too many brains but the brains i have work just fine so you can stop trying to dazzle me with your bull and your ridiculous excuses because i've heard them all and from smoother than you. i'm a sucker for charm and a fool for love and i may not hang around for a second helping of damnthishurtslikecrazy but i also don't just turn love off when the spit hits the spinny propeller thingy, so no matter where we end up neither one of us will be alone because i'm here for both of us until one of us is dead.

i'm the directionless femme that drags her raggletaggle girlfaith north, east and west when life is going south. i can mcgyver together some hope with a piece gum, a dozen broken promises, a sappy romance movie, two sticks and a dead bee. call me stupid. call me naive. just don't call me a taxi because i'll leave when i'm damn well ready and not a minute before. and before i go i'll beat that dead relationship horse until it gets up and walks again just to get away from me. and when you shake your head and say "you're crazy! let it go" i'll say "yup that's me, what of it? how am i hurting you by giving things another shot?" i'd rather give that dead horse a couple of kicks than lose the race because i didn't try.

i'm the kind of femme who misses out on connection because she hides her feelings from and refuses to show vulnerability to just anyone and the next person she does show it to better damn well cherish it or they can collect their ass at the door because i'm gonna hand it to them whenever i feel like it.

i'm the kind of femme that has grown into subtle wariness, becoming (unwillingly) harder on the outside because the inside of me refuses to be exposed to one more person who won't cherish and protect the genuinly warm girl that i am.

i'm the femme who pretends things are fine because people don't like to make room for them not to be. i lie and dissimulate in order to survive the ego responses of others and and i make no pretense about it anymore. everyone does it. i'm just the only person i know who's got the stones to admit it.

Dear Nomad,
Your honesty astounds me. I want to hug you for it, I want to be more like you. Thank you.
~Bleu

[Sachita]

i am deeply moved by this thread and also terrified to post in here.

i am a femme shark (http://www.qzap.org/v5/gallery/main.php?g2_view=core.DownloadItem&g2_itemId=799). i am a mixed indigenous queer crip (disabled) femme. i am passionate about decolonizing femme and claiming femininity as a way of liberating myself so that i can work to transform my community. i celebrate queer disabled fat indigenous femme hotness. i break down normative desirability with my body and my breath.

i am a polyamorous femme with a huge heart. i am kind, loving, and warm to just about everyone i meet. i am the one people rely on for a ready smile and a hug. it is easy for me to love people, and i love hard. when i love you i love you to wholeness.

don't mistake my kindness for weakness. i am strong. physically i might not look like much but fuck with people i love and me and my tiny, ineffectual fists will fuck you up. i am dangerous precisely because i have survived so much and i am not afraid to die.

sometimes i am afraid to live, though. i live with ptsd and anxiety that sometimes scares me into silence and inaction. i do my best to have the courage to move forward with my life anyway.

i talk a lot of shit but i'm a femme teddy bear at heart.

i'm an empathic femme. i am hypersensitive to the needs and energies of people around me, and because of this and trauma, i am very conflict avoidant. sometimes it's a curse. sometimes it's a blessing - i would rather communicate through difficulty and change whatever is causing a problem than fight about it.

in my community i am a femme who holds shit down, hooks shit up, and makes shit happen. i dream transformation into being, bring people together, and make possible what people believed was impossible, one moment at a time. i can hold many sometimes contradicting visions at once. i am an educator and a facilitator.

i am a deeply religious and deeply spiritual femme. to me they are intertwined, as are my faith and my social justice work. together they form the reason i get up in the morning (or afternoon, depending on the day).

i am a stone femme. i am a sex worker. stone for me means that my work gives me emotional boundaries around sex...sometimes physical ones, too, depending on the situation. being stone is what allows my empathic, overly expressive femme self to work effectively. it is the only area of my life in which i compartmentalize.

i'm a baby girl and a submissive femme who loves to strap it on and top from time to time. i'm kinky as hell in bed but there's a special place in my heart for sweet vanilla sex. and i consider blow jobs an art form.

i am a sister and an auntie. i cannot be anyone's biological mother but in my community "ma" or "mama" is a term of respect and endearment and it means so much when people call me that. i am an orphan.

i'm a pajama femme. i am the sexiest jeans and t-shirt femme you'll ever meet. this is out of necessity for survival, but i'm beginning to embrace it, even if it makes me feel like an ugly duckling femme sometimes.

i am a homeless, rootless, and family-less femme who is creating home, community, and family for myself. i value what i know of where i come from and i trust that i am whole despite the gaps in my memory and history.

from what little I know about you, here and on facebook I think you are awesome. I hope one day to meet you

[Sachita]

I am so many things. Femme is just one of them. I am loyal as hell until you violate my trust and then I cut you off. I am honest and down to earth but at the same time complex. Some may find me aloof even flippant but i always know what I want and what I need.

I am very family oriented. I put my family first. I need lots of space.

I am a true alpha female. I love and need control but I also take care of those who take care of me.

I am capable, independent and very strong. I am at my best when pursing my goals and wild horse can't keep me from what I want. I am stubborn and determined. Sometimes I get those confused. lol I don't give up but know when i am defeated. I am strong enough emotionally to know when I am defeated.

I am deeply committed to the things I believe in. Food safety, animal rights, conservation and more. I donate my time and money to these things and I believe its my calling. I am passionate about these things.

I am open-minded. Not just sexually but all aspects of life. I don't like rules.

[LipstickLola]

I'm the invisible femme lost in the crowd......I'll lock eyes with my sisters and smile, but mostly I'm invisible....

Today, my strong self is silent, I need to be cared FOR today, I need that strong shoulder to catch my tears, those beautiful, strong hands that I love to smooth my hair, I need my butch today

[girl_dee]

i love this thread, i was just reading back and even though my last post was a couple of years ago.. alllll the way back on page 6, i still feel the same way, only i feel i am an even stronger femme now.


i'm still just me.

[1PlayfulFemme]

I am emotion and elements. I love fully, I give freely, I think broadly, I share honestly, I live openly.
I am a gentle rain on a quiet afternoon, I am the sunshine in the midst of a tornado, I am the tornado itself...my energy whirling about. I am the wind, blowing your hair, a gentle caress. I am the thunder when those I love (including myself) are hurt by you. I am the ocean, beating the shore, and each wave you ride with me will bring new beauty to the earth...if only for a passing second. I am the silence in the middle of the night.

When you are wrapped in me, you are safe and loved, but free.

I am safety and security, love and laughter. I am fun times and free smiles. I am a good friend, a great listener, and an amazing wordsmith when inspiration strikes. I am a Muse, and I have many Muses of my own. I am a painter, a creator, a photographer, a student, a teacher.

I am sex and sexuality. I am a writer of erotica. I am lacy bras and matching panties. I am thigh high panty hose and garter belts. I am raw sex. I am fast pulses, shallow breaths, low moans and moistness. I am cleavage and bedroom eyes. I am long, natural red fingernails leaving trails along your back. I am roses & champagne and I am leather & lace. I am soft, gentle touches and I am bites & claw marks. I am sweet kisses and I am throw me against the wall and fuck me hard.

I am comfortable in a dress and high heels or blue jeans and a t-shirt. I am fancy lingerie or sweat pants and a tank top. I am make-up and intricate hair styles or a hair-clip and not a touch of anything on my face except a smile. I am complicatedly simple. I am the illusion of high-maintenance, and the reality of simplicity. I am fulfilled by nature and Mother Earth.

I am an animal rescuer and lover. I am screaming because of a spider, but I am also able to kill the spider myself. (Most of the time!) I am "Let's take it outside and set it free" as long as it isn't going to bite me on the way there. (at that point, I'm kill or be killed!)

I am music. I am rhythm. Music lives in me and I live through music. I am soul dances and slow dances. I am body swaying, connecting. I am Pink and Melissa Etheridge blowing the speakers, and I am Norah Jones singing a peaceful melody. I am oldies, classic rock, pop, country, hard rock, and love songs. I am singing off-tune and loving every minute of it!

I am living, breathing, existing in and of nature. The ocean fills me and fulfills me. My soul takes flight and I am happy.

I am a healer and an Empath. I am healing. I am strong. I am vulnerable. I am a slow Tuesday morning, and a hectic Friday night.

I am an organizer who sometimes can't seem to get a running start. I am logic embattling emotion.

I am the first one there when a cry goes out, the last one to leave when the dust has settled.

I won't just come to the party, I'll help you cook & clean for it, and stay after to clean up.

I am mother, nurturer, lover, giver, child, sister, friend. I am sweet and innocent, and I am anything but innocent.

I am Sagittarius. I am fire. I am passion. I am lust. I am love.

I am brave in the face of danger, and I am scared of the dark.

I am an optimist and I choose to see the good in people and the world around me. My dark places are very dark. I am playful and always ready to try something new.

I am seductive and I like to be seduced.

I am warm cookies fresh out of the oven and I am a cold glass of iced tea on a summer's day.

I am effort and I am Lazy Sunday afternoons.

I am butterflies in the middle of a field covered with snow. I am a burst of light in the darkness. I am color in the midst of a black and white photo.

I am perfect imperfections. I am worth the time it takes to get to see my soul. I am confident and I am insecure. I am outgoing and I am shy. I am a world of apparent contradictions, that all feed each other perfectly.

Re-posting this as a reminder to myself :)

[deb0670]

I have read a few posts in this forum, and, finally decided to try to share my story..
I have always had a very hard time feeling or thinking of myself as a Femme.. even tho that is what i truly wanted to be..
I was born 10 lbs 7 oz. and was the baby and only girl out of 3 kids. My brothers are 2 and 3 yrs older than me. I was not one of the spoiled lil girls that a lot of people know about, i did without a lot of things that my brothers were privileged to get.. My oldest brother always did Karate, my other brother was in Football, but when it got time for me to join dance or gymnastics, there never was enough money. I grew up watching my mom get a new dress every week, while us kids got new school clothes from K-Mart, once a year.
Due to my size,( i was skinny from ages 1-5 and then again between 15 and 16) but the majority of my life i was heavy set), i never got to have the pretty lil dresses or skirts like my mom did.. most of the time i had to wear my brothers hand me downs. I would see the other girls at school wearing the latest fashions and trend setters, while i was inwardly drooling over them, i was outwardly shunned and cast away, never made to feel "pretty".
I had a few dresses for church, but i was told that if i wore them i could not go out and play or wrestle with my brothers, but sit like a lady, and that got boring.
I was raised in a strict Pentecostal home, where they honestly believe that homosexuals are demon possessed and need to be delivered.. thus the reason why i stayed in the closet most of my life. I went thru the motions of getting married.. more than once.. having my kids, trying to live "right" all the while never feeling comfortable and knowing there was another way for me.
I never really had many friends that were girls growing up, so i never did the makeup and hair thing.. i didn't know how and my mom was too much into herself to see that she had a daughter who needed her.
In my last marriage, i gained a heck of a lot of weight.. mainly due to my ex not wanting me to be flirted with and also having a sit down job for almost 6 yrs.. but i had pretty clothes.. a few dresses, feminine blouses, etc.. When i finally had the nerve to leave that very abusive marriage, and got a job at Walmart as a cashier and got active.. i kid you not.. i dropped 8 pant sizes in less than 6 months. That was wonderful!! None of my clothes fit anymore! Only problem was, i had no clothes to replace all the too big for me clothes, and definitely did not have the same income i did before.. so i had to settle with what i could find.
I finally came out of the closet in May of 2009. Moved away from Illinois and moved to Oklahoma/Arkansas area. Met some gay people and started going to the first and only gay bar i have ever been to. i was still trying to figure myself out, so i started dressing like a soft butch.. but not really feeling comfortable.
I still had/have this stigma about myself that i am not feminine enough.. i don't look sexy enough, i don't know how to even begin to be sexy..
Ethan will say otherwise.. and i thank Him for that. but.. i have never ever been really accepted by women and never had close women friends who could show me how to do my makeup, or what to or not to wear.. sighs..
I first found the other BF site back in late May 2009, and thought it was awesome being able to be a part of so many awesome people.. when it.. well.. i felt lost.. then i discovered the Planet.. and for quite a while i would just observe.. cause i was worried i would not be accepted for whatever reason... like most things in my life.. and i just hid.
Today, i don't hide so much anymore.. i am starting to branch out more..
I know that i am a Femme.. i am not always in dresses and heels and do not always wear makeup.. but i am Femme..
i just wish i knew what it felt like to be sexy.. Never have i thought that i could be sexy and be heavy at the same time.. and since i do not think i will ever see skinny again.. maybe there is hope for me to be the other? shrugs..

I know i have went way left field and back again a few times in my story.. and for that i apologize.. sometimes i get alittle carried away.
i am still searching inside to find the true and real Debbie.. and.. maybe someday i will find her. But i do know one thing about her.. she is Femme

[Mistress]

[I am what they call a"Stem". I CAN BE EITHER STUD OR FEMME. I LIKE BEING VERY PLAYFUL AND SENSUAL AND SEXUAL AND BEING SUBMISSIVE. IN THE BEDROOM WHEN NEEDED. I CAN BE THE WIFEY TYPE AND TAKE CARE OF HOME AND THE KIDS AND RUB YOU DOWN AFTER A LONG DAY AT WORK. THEN AGAN I CAN WEAR THE PANTS AND TAKE CARE OF WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE FOR THE WOMAN IN MY LIFE. NO QUESTIONS ASKED

[Miss Scarlett]

I'm an old fashioned, old school femme who loves OFOS Butches. I love having doors opened for me, being helped with my coat, etc.

More Suzy Homemaker than June Cleaver, I am a nurturer. Fixing and serving a nice meal and watching people enjoy it makes me a happy femme.

While the outward appearance doesn't define femme, I love all girly things. Pretty clothes, make up, manicured nails, my curls, light perfume, jewelry...I am no less femme in jeans, a t-shirt and sneakers.

I've got a bit of a tomboy streak - the result of being the only girl of 4 kids.

There's also a babygrrl component to me.

Still, I am independent and can take care of myself. Someone recently called me resilient and that made me smile. I'd never thought of myself that way but it's true.

There's more but now it's time to get ready for work. So I'll finish this later...

[lusciouskiwi]

I have read a few posts in this forum, and, finally decided to try to share my story..
I have always had a very hard time feeling or thinking of myself as a Femme.. even tho that is what i truly wanted to be..

I know i have went way left field and back again a few times in my story.. and for that i apologize.. sometimes i get alittle carried away.
i am still searching inside to find the true and real Debbie.. and.. maybe someday i will find her. But i do know one thing about her.. she is Femme

Please don't apologise for telling your story. I could relate to several things that you wrote and I'm sure other's will too. When I've had something to eat, I'll share as well. Until then, you're femme and isn't that real enough? :rrose::gimmehug:

[deb0670]

just wanted to thank everyone for their acceptance. I never in my life have found a place that felt more like home than the Planet. Y'all are showing me that it does not matter my size, I can ..still be pretty.. Still not at the sexy thing yet.. But maybe one day lol

[kissinfemme]

To all my femme sisters: I love you, you ROCK & I'm proud to be counted among you, thank you for sharing all that you are!

To me my femme self is mulit-faceted, mulit-dimensional, fascinating, ever evolving, quite simply rockin' awesome & unique to me.

I've been victimized but I am not a fucking victim, I am not only a survivor I am a WARRIOR. My heart has been broken into a thousand pieces, multiple times yet here I stand before you, naked & bruised, ready & willingly to offer it up once again.

I am FIERCE, flawed, sensitive, have trust issues, can & will love you with amazing consequences, not sure I believe in a "soul mate", easily bored, must be challenged & stimulated (intellectually & otherwise). I am the voice of others who have none, I will stand up & fight, I have your back, accept you unconditionally in all your beautiful imperfection. I am a leader, not a follower. I have anxiety issues. I am a work-aholic, I adore lazy days in bed. I desire, I love the old, the vintage, the antique, the story of it all. I have a restless spirit. I'm a beautiful soul, your parents will love me, your friends will like me, you will crave me. I can talk to anybody, fit in anywhere, but am extremely selective in who I allow in my life. I'm competitive, ambitious, kind, supportive & genuine. I'm shy, bold & unafraid to speak my mind but will do so with all the gentleness you deserve. Defintely in need of being "handled" at times. Often underestimated. Bring the sunshine, make me laugh every day & I'm yours.

I am soft, territorial, selfish, warm, giving, hot sex-kitten, Betty Crocker, Suzy Homemaker, cheerleader, craver & worshiper of all your butchness, lover, loving, nurturing, whore, adventurous, homebody, tattooed, submissive bottom, strong minded/willed, extremely independent, but I need & crave stability/security. I want to be taken care of yet I will fight it kicking & screaming but I will "let" you, you can't tell me what to do but I want/need to please you. I am a one woman type of girl, I give as good as I get or better. I hate shoe shopping. I have a purse to go with every imaginable outfit. I wear make-up, every day. I prefer action flicks over chick flicks, I cry easily. I am wicked smart with an equally wicked sense of humor. I will give my all, until I can't. Keep up.

I am not only a woman, I am FEMME & oh so much more than that.

[Sarafemme]

I am a new femme and an old-soul femme. What I mean by this is that, a mere few months ago, I finally embraced the only gender identity that has ever felt true to me: Femme.

I recently came out to myself. Right now I'm calling myself a 'bisexual femme,' but my primary emotional and physical attraction has always been to women, though I have not yet had a sexual experience with a woman. I was too frightened by the notion that I could be bi or lesbian (I first admitted this possibility to myself over 10 years ago, while in college, after many, many unrequited crushes). Instead, I stuffed those feelings down and figured I just hadn't met the right man.

Finally, I did meet a man, and was swept off of my feet in a whirlwind courtship. Yet, the entire time, a part of me felt like I was acting a role. I have been married, mostly unhappily, going on seven years. We are in counseling; we are struggling; I am both in mourning for my lost (seemingly straight) self, for not being able to fulfill his needs, and also scared and elated at finally finding out what feels gloriously 'right', at last.

By 'old-soul femme,' I mean to say that I have always known this about myself, instinctively, but was in extreme denial for most of my life. My battles have been internal: Warring with myself for what is expected of me as a feminine-acting-and-appearing woman and all the while feeling horribly deficient in that reality in some deep way that I couldn't (or wouldn't) define.

I just joined this forum tonight. I am staying up late, obsessively reading and learning. You are all incredibly interesting and I really hope to make some friends on this forum. Even though I have only recently accepted my feelings for women generally and my identity as 'femme' specifically, I hope to keep engaging and learning on from all of you.

[LipstickLola]

Today, I'm the princess, I need to be served :princess: But, I have to go have the oil changed in my truck. Yep, this princess drives a truck :D

[sweetee]

I am a true southern femme...im a big girl (i find alot of bois dont like us big girls)I love being outside but i love my makeup,lip gloss and my toes painted,i am easy going wear my heart on my sleeve.I cry over sappy movies and love strays of all kinds .Im fiercely loyal to my family and friends...and when i fall ...i fall hard and fast...(that gets me in in trouble)love amimals and my 3year old grand daughter is the love of my life...she call me moi-me and is the closest thing to heaven there is...Im a simple gal i enjoy giving more than receiving and I am the best southern cook since Paula Dean i am above all else ...just a girl

[Sev]

I am a Virgo Femme,

I like Pink

I like Fairies

I wear make-up

I am proud

I like high heels

I can change a flat Tyre without breaking a nail

I may be all Femme but I also wear the pants

I am my own electrician, plumber, and hell I'm not afraid to get my hands dirty

I am independent, bossy and a little miss-know-it all ( that must be Virgo trait)

AND

I want doors opened for me, I demand respect and I want all the attention a Femme can get.
:4femme:

Thank you

[Gemme]

I am a Virgo Femme,

I like Pink

I like Fairies

I wear make-up

I am proud

I like high heels

I can change a flat Tyre without breaking a nail

I may be all Femme but I also wear the pants

I am my own electrician, plumber, and hell I'm not afraid to get my hands dirty

I am independent, bossy and a little miss-know-it all ( that must be Virgo trait)

AND

I want doors opened for me, I demand respect and I want all the attention a Femme can get.
:4femme:

Thank you




Welcome!!!

[Random]

I'm the kind of femme who cultivates a certain style... Because I want to be seen a certain way...

BUT....

If I look into the mirror and start beliving my own creation.

Then I need to change it up...

I like look frumpy... not to feel that way...


*running hand over head to make the half hawk stand up*

[Miss Scarlett]

I'm a homebody...a happy home that is a sanctuary from the storms of life is what I need.

Expensive or elaborate gifts are nice but not required...the greatest gifts are those that come from the heart and can be as simple as a twisted paperclip.

Always a lady, only revealing that "other" side of me to my partner in the privacy of our home.

A Libra, I desire balance in my life...much like water seeking its own level. My partner will be the yang to my yin.

There are only a few things I expect (in no particular order)...honesty, fidelity/loyalty, mutual respect...

Some things I cannot tolerate...infidelity, dishonesty, cruelty to animals, children or the elderly, domestic violence, yelling/screaming...

Arguments happen...they are an essential part of all healthy relationships. But I do not believe in screaming matches because it impedes listening. Discussion is my "style" if you will.

I would never hit anyone below the belt...attack their core. Treating others as I want to be treated...loving my neighbor as myself...recognizing that I am my sister/brother's keeper...accepting that the people in my life the way they are not the way I wish they were.

I am a believer in forgiveness, second chances and giving people the benefit of the doubt.

A work in progress, I'm human and hopelessly flawed. When I'm wrong, I say that I am wrong and will make amends. It's taken me a lifetime to get there and sometimes the words taste like vinegar but I own my "stuff".

I am guilty of being generous to a fault but my heart is always in the right place.

My only agenda is to be kind to others hoping that in some small way I can make this world a better place.

I am a submissive but not a doormat. I am a babygrrl but not a child or childish. I am a woman and enthusiastically embrace all facets of my femininity but I am not a Stepford Wife.

Don't be fooled...this femme is also a momma Grizzly and will protect and defend with my very life, if necessary, those whom I love.

While the majority of the time my disposition is sunny, I do have my dark, brooding moments. At those rare times I will withdraw into myself and plunge myself into writing or drawing...using the inherent tunnel vision to channel my creative energies into drawing beauty from darkness and bringing it into the light.

I'm spiritual not religious...life and everything around us is a beautiful gift from the Universe to be recognized as such, appreciated and learned from.

I am resilient...a Phoenix...a Steel Magnolia.


I'm an old fashioned, old school femme who loves OFOS Butches. I love having doors opened for me, being helped with my coat, etc.

More Suzy Homemaker than June Cleaver, I am a nurturer. Fixing and serving a nice meal and watching people enjoy it makes me a happy femme.

While the outward appearance doesn't define femme, I love all girly things. Pretty clothes, make up, manicured nails, my curls, light perfume, jewelry...I am no less femme in jeans, a t-shirt and sneakers.

I've got a bit of a tomboy streak - the result of being the only girl of 4 kids.

There's also a babygrrl component to me.

Still, I am independent and can take care of myself. Someone recently called me resilient and that made me smile. I'd never thought of myself that way but it's true.

There's more but now it's time to get ready for work. So I'll finish this later...

[Gemme]

I am a submissive but not a doormat. I am a babygrrl but not a child or childish. I am a woman and enthusiastically embrace all facets of my femininity but I am not a Stepford Wife.

I am resilient...a Phoenix...a Steel Magnolia.

Love this.

[Lady Pamela]

This is one of the most honest,down to earth,frightening,loving and caring threads I have read as of yet on here.

I am bumping it for those who have not posted to see and possibly post in.
Also for those who want to update.
And simply to read and re read the posts within.

What wonderful, raw, honesty with the femmes.

Bump!

[VintageFemme]

I am a woman of many moods, faces, and personalities. I am a daughter, a sister, a mother, lover and friend. I am a bitch, and an angel, a saint and a whore. I am whole in all that I think and feel and yet incomplete in everything that I am. I am a mistress of nothing. I own everything I do. I am modern and old school all at the same, I believe in miracles, magick, and most of all, I believe in love. I am an artist. I am an Aquarian. I am obsessive and compulsive - I am nurturing and loving. I am an oxymoron and everyday, I am born again with the sun rising. I am the kind of femme that you can't always rely on but you can always trust in. I am the kind of femme that may let you down but I'll fall down alongside of you. I am utterly girlie and hopelessly dreamy. I live in the clouds and die in the sun. I am a contradiction, a complication and an open book. I am the kind of femme who hates to be loved yet needs it more than air.

Ev'rybody knows
That Baby's got new clothes
But lately I see her ribbons and her bows
Have fallen from her curls
She takes just like a woman, yes she does
She makes love just like a woman, yes she does
And she aches just like a woman
But she breaks just like a little girl.

-Bob Dylan

[Dance-with-me]

What a wonderful, affirming thread!!

I am a nurturing femme: A parent to other people's children and my grandchildren not of my bloodline, kisser of booboos, fixer of meals for friends, family and strangers, maker of chicken soup when you have a cold, hugs fierce enough to break through many insecurities, shoulders strong enough to stay unbowed when someone I love needs to lean on them or cry on them. I am now planning to nurture some more foster kids in my life, perhaps even adopt a child who needs a nurturing parent.

I am an easy-going femme: It took exiting a high-drama marriage to really affirm (much to my delight) that I'm actually a very low-drama easy-going optimistic adaptable person.

I am a geek femme: Engineering degree, teacher of geek topics, and very excited about trying to move towards teaching math. I love math. How to entertain a geek femme? Give her some colored bucky balls (tiny magnetic balls) and let her make jewelry from them.

I am a capable femme: I am the ultimate pragmatic, practical Taurus. I have supported myself since I was 17. I have a power tool collection that many butches would envy, and my dream is to find a butch who could work beside me on doing things around my house, and who would be turned on by the sight of my deep-slut-red nails wrapped around a circular saw instead of being put off that a femme would rather receive a sliding compound miter saw for her birthday than an expensive bit of jewelry.

I am an intelligent femme: I crave conversation that requires me to think, that calls on the things that I know or teaches me new things, that challenges me and opens my mind.

I am a "low" femme: I wear makeup when I go out, but not for work or everyday. A 2.5" heel is a "high heel" for me these days. I live in sun dresses in the summer and occasionally wear skirts, tights and boots in the winter but you'll find me most often in jeans -- or, if it's around the house, in sweatpants and no bra.

I am a strong femme: Strong enough to weather a lot of crap in my life. Strong enough to pick myself up and figure out how to walk away from that crap once and for all, and never go back to it. Strong enough to take care of myself. Strong enough to let others take care of me when I need or deserve it. Strong enough to face my fears. Strong enough to work through the rough times when fear or sadness have me by the throat. Strong enough to actively and deliberately seek out the good thing in life, and build myself a life bolstered by love.

I am a femme who loves to dance. I heard this quote the other day: "I wonder, where do we find home, that absolute soul satisfying comfort without question? In the name of what do you do what you do, what drives you, what are you passionate about, what makes you happy - not just what makes you smile, but what transports you and makes you take a deep breath and dissolves your brain, courses through your body, an absolute merger of body and mind and spirit, leaving thoughts behind, emotion just coursing through you, where do you find that?" I find that level of passionate happiness in two things: In dancing, even if by myself in the living room, and in the butch/femme dance.

I am an old school femme who craves the butch-femme dance, not because I'm incapable of doing things for myself but because in every dance there is a lead and a follow, doing different but complementary things; both take equal skill, and the dance is all the more beautiful if both love their part of the dance. I love the dance, that yin to my yang, that energy that complements my own in every way.

I am a single femme who would love to find the butch of my dreams, someone to treasure me and talk to me about everything under the sun, someone to dance with me even just swaying in a circle around the living room, someone who appreciates all I am and wants to be the best she can be for me, someone who trusts me and takes care of me and lets me take care of her right back, someone who believes that lesbian bed death is a disease that must be eradicated from our community and is willing to aggressively do her part to ensure that it never infests our home, someone who means what she promises, knows that relationships take at last as much time and maintenance as a home or a care and is willing to do that work, in sickness and in health, for better or worse, for richer for poorer, as long as we both shall live. Applications are being accepted. ;)

(oh, and I'm obviously a very verbose femme who is incapable of brevity!!)

[Katniss]

http://www.charlespetzold.com/blog/2006/04/InfinityAnimation.png




Katniss~~(yes I am being esoteric and no I will not give an 'easy' button a'la Office Depot.)

[lillith]

The slow evolution from then to now.

I am timeless, warrantless, and even a bit effortless. I am no damsel-in-distress. I am eager, and often submit to my fancies. I am opinionated, and sometimes, overbearing and crass. I am not thoughtless, but thought full. I am heavy with concern, and lighted by my spirit. I am educated, and perhaps that lends to many people in my life who say I am intimidating. I am solid in my sex, and do not wince too easily. I profess that I am not a fan of horror, it makes me cringe. I am often dissatisfied with my body, and will bitch about it, but I do not see myself as you do. I see the crow’s feet and am reminded of the laughter. I see the stretch marks and look at my son who created them, and am forced to smile. I see my overly large tattoos and I am reminded of who I am inside; what caused me to get them in the first place. I have triumphed over many fears and have given in to them, as well. I am messy and sometimes, a pain in the ass. But I promise, I pick my fights fairly, and will admit when I am wrong. I am soft little girl who cares too much, and I am loving mother who stands by her child. Yes, I own dresses, and make-up, and high heels, but I am also a devote wearer of jeans and t-shirts. I can sway my hips and mesmerize. I can touch a face with a gentle caress, but it is not only a face I want to touch; it is the heart and soul. I am a caretaker, a nurturer, and someone who just wants to see a smile.

[deb_U_taunt]

Who am I as a woman, a person and a femme:

I am a guttersnipe, who grew into a happy and productive human being.

It took me a long time to get here and I will fight for my right to be who I am today.

I ride in the front seat in my life and refuse to ride in the back.

I have control issues and can come across as intimating at times.

I am giving and tenderhearted, but don’t mistake it for weakness. I won’t listen to you whine for long, without expecting to see you take some action and ownership. Yes, I expect the same of myself. I will call you on your shit and please do it in return. I will have your back and you must have mine.

If I love you, I get rose colored glasses. I will overlook things, if the good is great. I will not give up my friends, work or life for you. If you think I belong on my back, you have the wrong woman.

Art makes me feel alive. I need color and light in my life. If you want to make a back porch from car parts I won’t question it, but help you. I love the imaginative and creative.

I pinch pennies, because of my past and using credit will stress me out. I live well below my means.

I live simple and clutter makes me feel anxious and boxed in.

I am no longer defined by my job or my family or you anymore. This is growth for me.

I no longer live in the past (why) or future (what ifs), I live in today and am grateful for today.

I am not only a survivor, but I have also managed to thrive.

[Katniss]

A bit like walking a panther on a leash. Or so I've been told....

Katniss~~(if you don't have confidence, creativity and intelligence this could all end very badly...)

[femmeInterrupted]

i am a Dyke.
i am a Diva.
i am Jedi Femme.

Flirting my way through the galaxy: Fuck me red lipstick and seamed stockings.
Light sabers and lip liners, an intergalactic queer.

I am a self identified queer high femme
inamorata
mother
Portuguese princess
bottom
sometimes good girl
activist
femme-inist
ridiculous Pollyanna
libertine
kinky
loving
caffeinated
intelligent

A glittering disco ball, no wall flower.
I blend into the scenery like a full blown super nova.
Bashful is a cheap cologne.

I love to laugh.
I fucking love to swear.
I love language.
I am a visual creature.

I am an advocate and defender of women and children.
I'm unapologetic and in your face about it.
I am female centric.
I've been a change agent and witness to incredible healing;
that includes my own.
The strength and grace inherent in women humbles and feeds me at the same time.
I am fiercely loyal and loving, my parenting style is full Grizzly Bear.
I am a Settler sister and ally to Anishninabekwe

I often make men feel uncomfortable
and
I like that.
I don't dim, dull, or duck down.
Messy and haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies.

I partner most naturally and organically with Stone and old school Butch Tops.

I am a femme in a sisterhood of femmes
We are rainbows and sparkles and fragrance
feathers and fur
leather and lace
hope and grief
power and grace

Femme. Fag. me . We.

[deb_U_taunt]

Bashful is a cheap cologne.

[/I]


LOVE THIS!!

[BowtiePrincess]

I am everything but always one thing, me. I am hot black leather heels and worn out dirty cowgirl boots. I am a red camaro and a muddy chevy truck. I am a femme that likes doors held open for me but dont dare tell me you will move the hay bales. I am sweet but bitchy. I am soft but hard. I am a contrast femme.

[Lady Pamela]

BUMPING THREAD....In hopes of others seeing it who might want to post ...

[MarquisdeShey]

I am Femme, Woman and Straight-Lesbian.

My politics: seeking world change by bettering one corner at a time.
My religion: first do no harm.

Classy but not superficial.
Elegant but not pretentious.
Homey...earthy...

Fine dining and dirt digging.
Operas and coffehouses.

Make-up not needed,
lipstick lesbian if I want to leave a mark.
Smokey gypsy eyes - matron trait.

The world is my backyard.

Foreign, exotic...most of all...
Brains...
My story...Femme r-evolution.
Full acceptance...My body...My power...My right.

Femme...Cunt...Lady...Ms....
Femme...Bitch...
Femme...

Yep, that would be Me.

[femm_cb]

I am femme - I don't pretend to be anything but.

I don't wear make up very often - It's too hot in Florida and it ends up being all over my phone by noon time. The last time I wore make up was my wedding day. :bunchflowers: :wine:

I am a bitch at times. I can hold a grudge. If I don't like you, don't expect me to hang out with you in my spare time. :sunglass:

I cannot tolerate ignorance AT ALL. :byebye: That has to be one of my biggest pet peeves.

I LOVE my flipflops, tank tops and shorts....I don't wear dresses much.

I am a wine snob - I think Florida has the worst tasting wines. I prefer foreign wines over domestic.

[aussiebaby]

I am in a crowd, perfect in red, heels six inches, lipstick set like cement, powder without a blemish, hair in curls, hands on purse, talking theatre, talking news, cross-legged, fingers on the wine glass.

I am alone, on the couch, cotton undies, knee-high socks, glasses, Supernatural DVDs, no makeup, hair a mess, covered in oreo crumbs, counting the calories, wishing my jeans still fit, ordering pizza.

Glamorous as fuck.

[~baby~doll~]

i am femme in all things. i identify in the traditional feminine role totally
i wear dresses or skirts full makeup and five of six inch heels all the time
i am submissive, caring, kind and good listener who is prone to empathic tears.
i am a baby grrl or doll. i can become a gothic grrl or leather grrl at any time.
my role is always bottom in the bedroom my life is to be pleasing sexually in every way.
i am relaxed and friendly.
i am intelligent in the areas i need to be.
i can be political but tend not to be. i am very liberal in all ways when i do play political games.
i work to improve my skill set. i am learning to sew, quilt and knit.
i tend the home by cleaning cooking and so on.
there is a spirituality about me which is non religious
i can be silly, giggly, humorous and serious if needed.
MISTRESS and Mistress are the heads of the house i do serve their needs in every way possible.
i have always seen the femme role as being able to adapt and be all things to all people and this is my goal to be able top transform who i am to fit the needs of the Dominant personalities. femme to me is giving up self for the betterment of family, home, and society.
Femininity is part of my being. i am one with it and happy being the queer woman i am. When a person is content you know it is right and good for that person. i am content in this role it fits very well.

[Katniss]

I am a femme who...

Likes my beaches deserted
My wineglass full
My kayak right side up
The only thing "hello kitty' about my household is the morning greeting to my cat.


Katniss~~

[pinkajl]

I am an old-fashioned femme who likes my doors opened for me, especially when we're in the midst of an argument because it helps to ground me back to the root of the dance.

I am self-sufficient. When the plumbing needs to be done or the drywall needs to be repaired, I have no problem getting the tools and doing the job myself, if no one else is available.

I am a nurturer. I've been told I'm a good cook and I like to bring people together to feed them and help develop community.

I am wicked smart but I don't equate level of education with level of intelligence. Illogical arguments irritate me. I have much respect for the person who can simply say, "I don't know" rather than think they can bluff their way through a conversation.

I am a Mamma Bear. Mess with my children, my butch, or a dear friend and there will be consequences. Mess with me and chances are I will just ignore you.

I am a fighter for justice, yet I'm not motivated by money. I will take a case pro-bono if I feel as though you are clearly the underdog and justice has yet to serve you well.

I am somewhat crunchy granola and very aware of my carbon footprint. I believe very strongly in living gently upon the Earth and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

I am a difficult person to live with. My life has been what it is and while I try to laugh and continue to be committed to self-improvement, I still have my triggers.

I am fiercely loyal to the people I trust.

I am budget conscious and insist on living within my means, with minimal to no debt. At the same time, I like nice clothes and shoes. Since I get a kick out of thrift shops and yard sales for the best bargain, I satisfy my need for fashion finds without blowing my budget.

I am a woman through and through. I know who I am, yet my identity is invisible to most people I come in contact with. I gain my strength by proudly standing next to my butch, who has faced hardships that I will never have in my life. Together, we nurture one another to be the best possible people we can be.

[sofimichi]

I am very self-conscious.
I have an eating disorder.
I have low self esteem.

I have a fiance who makes me happy, but no one else knows me like she does.
I sometimes struggle to tell her the truth about everything.
I like to keep quiet so people can't read my emotions.

I feel that everyone needs to hate me, and when they don't, I think they are stupid.
I love to take care of people.
I work with people every day, and it is okay for me.

I am very independent, but seek a life of dependency.
I am very boring.

[Londen]

I'm super femmy!

I prefer to have doors held for me and chairs pulled out, I'd rather not wear the pants in the relationship although I could but it would deffinatly rub me the wrong way deffintaly wouldn't work out. I feel that people think that being femme is a style as if it depends on how much makeup you wear or how high your heels are, to me it's a feeling it's literally who I am
You can take away my heels and makeup and whatever else and I'll still feel the same. I'll still like florals and lace and still want someone else to carry the heavy bags. That doesn't mean I won't do it for myself I mean I'm a kurvy girl and I've been raised by a bunch of guys, people tend to think that just because I'm bigger that it makes me more masculine and it really offends me :/ like deeply :/
I like getting my nails done and spending hours in sephora ^^ I'm kind of old fashioned I guess, I like cooking and baking and for some reason I find cleaning satisfying ^^ I'm into crafting and home making, super eco friendly! ^^ I love reading a good book and I enjoy writing, I've been told I'm good but who knows?
I'd honestly rather someone else take the reins, maybe it's because I've never had that happen, like I said people assume that because I rock an affro occasionaly and I'm a size 16 and I don't wear heels all the time that I'm not femme? Like since when has that defined us? or me for that matter. I'm ranting yes, don't judge me lol. I suppose I'm into classic roles you know? I prefer to do the cooking and the cleaning for some odd reason I like housework? lol Although I'd still want to keep my job ^^ er my future job lol

I used to feel SUPER guilty that I prefer women more masculine than myself (i.e. Butches,stone butches,deisal dykes, ect.) my friends (my "friends" in the community) tried to convince me when I was just coming out that what I really wanted was a man like ugh no thanks I'm so glad I'm over that. How is this relevant to the topic? well I feel like if I didn't like masculine women that I wouldn't be as feminine?

I'm into entertaining ^^ I love cooking for people goodness forbid if you tell me your hungry lol I am pretty self sufficiant, I can stand on my own 2 feet I've only been doing is since I was like 8. I have a big personality ^^ Except when it comes to relationships then I can be pretty submissive, well I prefer to be, It makes me happy? I know that must sound super strange but it does make me happy to please others especially my mate in which ever way they require:}

My home is literally my castle, it's always been a dream of mine to be a princess since I was little ^^ but yes my home is my castle I spend hours organzinng, cleaning, primping and pressing until it's perfect for myself and my mate and my family :}

I just got out of the habit of wearing makeup, (althogh I am getting back into it just because I like it, especially eye makeup!!! ^^) I used to wear it to hide or to "fit in" because I was misinformed that that's what being a femme is all about and because that's what I thought people wanted, that it made me "prettier" and it may be true but if you want to be with me, well I don't wake up with flawless skin and cat eyes so get used to the natural me, that's the truly femenine part :}

I suffer from PCOS which can be a very debilitating blow to your femininity :/ the symptoms are so hard to deal with, you grow hair in places you don't want, you gain weight you don't want, you can become infertile and theres absolutly no cure :/ :{ which makes my femininity THAT much more important to me. I literally have to fight for it in every aspect of my life.

Idk anyway I'm a flower power, little black dress wearing, cake baking, pink fuzzy slipper toting, yet still has no problem getting her hands dirty kurvy brown little femme :}

[Lady Pamela]

I just wanted to bump this thread because of how wonderful and insightful and raw it is. Many others have posted here and I wanted to bring it upfront so the amazing things they have said can be seen.
Also, in hopes of seeing others post as well...similes

[GeeGina]

I originally struggled with being so very femme. When I first came out in college, my understanding that we must reject what was described to me as the "paternistic/cisgendered" idea of what a woman ought to be. Problem was, that while I rocked my flannel and shapeless jeans, I missed my pedicures and ached for the feel of a sundress on a warm July day.

Then I met someone who simply said "be the woman you want to be with no apologies" and leave it to the world to figure it out. That advice made perfect sense because just as I won't make excuses for my preference, neither will for how I express myself.

That said, I still like to shave my head in the summer and will occasionally smoke a very big cigar. Beyond that, I'm that chick - a word I never object to - who likes to dress up for a date and will endlessly try on shoes while you hold my bags. I'll spend hours preparing great meals and I'm that girl who walks in the room at just the right time with a giant tray of homemade snacks during Sunday football.

I will wear lingerie and old and oversized concert/college t-shirts to bed. I will take my time getting ready for a date and I will sneak out of bed early to brush my teeth if it looks like my partner is an early riser.

I enjoy the chase and while I value a partner who's up for the pursuit, I don't play too hard to get. I'm mostly a bottom, but take pride in being able to please my partner and see to their needs just as well as they see to mine.

I take care of myself and make my own way in the world, but I still like it when my partner makes me feel safe, secure, and maybe a little spoiled too.

I'm always finding - and occasionally blurring - the fine line between indulgence and discipline. I work out and stay fit, but will eat ice cream right out of the container when I surrender to impulse.

I'm not a bitch - but I'm not a pushover, either. Don't mess with my spice rack, my heart, or my people. Do that, and you get the fangs and claws.

I'm outgoing and make really good first impressions, plus I try really hard to be arm candy for the right occasions.

I like dating people who are older than me. Some of my best dates began with "I don't normally date women your age, but..."

I am a loving daughter and doting auntie...but I'm not sure motherhood is for me.

I like it when you hold the door for me...or surprise me in the shower.

I purr...and I roar.

[Selenay]

I'm a femme.
Except when I don't feel like being a femme.
But don't you dare ever say that I'm not.

[silkepus]

I’ve struggled for some time with my femme identity. I wasn’t sure I was even a lesbian until I stumbled upon butches/studs/bois/masculine of center lesbians and something in me just went- yes, yes please.

So at first I thought I had to be femme because, I was attracted to butches. But that kind of annoyed me. I don’t want to take on an identity that’s only based on who I fancy. So I’ve read up a lot on butch/femme dynamics and identities, but I have yet to find a clear reason to why, apart from my butchfancies I should label myself a femme.

I know who I am as a person. I'm bookish and kind of nerdy. I like some girly things like dresses and baking and adorable things as well as using the word adorable (a lot). But I also like traditionally masculine things, like camping and fishing. I prefer blue to pink, I prefer barefoot to heels.

There isn’t anything especially about me that would stand out as femme or feminine, I look like your average 23 soon to be 24 year old.

I think the reason I identify as femme is simply because it sits right with me. When I heard the word and found out about it all, something just felt right.

I read somewhere, although I don’t remember quite where, that femme is finding a way to be a girl that doesn’t hurt. Something about that really gets me.

[Teddybear]

I’ve struggled for some time with my femme identity. I wasn’t sure I was even a lesbian until I stumbled upon butches/studs/bois/masculine of center lesbians and something in me just went- yes, yes please.

So at first I thought I had to be femme because, I was attracted to butches. But that kind of annoyed me. I don’t want to take on an identity that’s only based on who I fancy. So I’ve read up a lot on butch/femme dynamics and identities, but I have yet to find a clear reason to why, apart from my butchfancies I should label myself a femme.

I know who I am as a person. I'm bookish and kind of nerdy. I like some girly things like dresses and baking and adorable things as well as using the word adorable (a lot). But I also like traditionally masculine things, like camping and fishing. I prefer blue to pink, I prefer barefoot to heels.

There isn’t anything especially about me that would stand out as femme or feminine, I look like your average 23 soon to be 24 year old.

I think the reason I identify as femme is simply because it sits right with me. When I heard the word and found out about it all, something just felt right.

I read somewhere, although I don’t remember quite where, that femme is finding a way to be a girl that doesn’t hurt. Something about that really gets me.


Let me tell u that just cause u lime t camp or fish or whatever else that DOESN'T mean ur less femme then the next femme

How U see yourself is ALL that matters. You don't have to have a reason or find one. U r who u R

[Erryl]

I'm a laid back, occasional-femme. ;)

I'm a stay at home mom to our daughter who is 12. Most days I'm in pajamas/comfy clothes all day. On days my beautiful occasional-butch wife takes us out I usually dress up. Jeans and a tee to pencil skirt and pumps kinda wardrobe going on here. If I'm in a skirt or dress, I'm in makeup.

There's no real roles in our house. We all do girly home-spa days and makeovers. My wife is the cook. I'm the clean. We are both kinda in the middle of the butch-femme scale, the wife is just slightly farther on the butch side and I'm slightly farther on the femme side. I totally just pictured us standing on a scale.. ew. scales and chubs like me don't mix.

[Chinajewelry]

I am a pink loving femme. I love gel nail polish, putting makeup on everyday, yet I wear sweat pants almost everyday! I feel awesome when I flip my long hair over my shoulder... I do as much as I can to further animal liberation and their rights. I'm a vegetarian. I know the earth is sacred. Nature is beautiful. I recycle, but I should do so much more. I'm the femme who loves to bake but can't really cook. I'm the femme who plays Mario 64 as much as possible ! I don't wear leather but I love the look and have several faux leather pieces of clothing including a pink motorcycle jacket! I love spikes and metal and useful things like braids, rope and carabiners! And I love to smoke reefer :) But i also love cosmos and dresses and heels and especially earrings. My brass knuckle pair is my favorite :)

[vagina]

I am not sure exactly what makes me or anyone for that matter Femme. In historical context, Femme means that I dress in skirts and heels to attract Butches. I feel that what makes me Femme is that I am a lesbian and prefer women with certain features and characteristics that are Butch. Being Femme to me means that I can change oil and balance the tires; I can snowboard better than the guys, while my Butch can cook and sew me under the table. Femme means that my seduction game is completely different from the Butch. My confidence comes from being able to seduce with tinted red lips and the swing of my hips. Femme means that I can spot a Butch from a mile away! Femme for me means that I like for Butch to be the lead in dancing... just long enough for us to figure out a way to let me take the lead. Femme means that I have memories of wanting to dress in silk nighties and wanting to be seductive. It means that I have memories of seeing women's breasts and desiring to feel them. Femme means that I desire the Butch women exactly for their walk and the signals that they send out. Femme means that to the outside world it will always seem that it is the Butch who protects me, yet in our hearts we both know that we protect each other.

[Words]

Femme means that to the outside world it will always seem that it is the Butch who protects me, yet in our hearts we both know that we protect each other.

I love this. Thank you!

[QueenofSmirks]

I'm a badass queer femme. I'm extremely independent and I don't take shit from anyone. My usual style of dress is not frilly; I'm more comfortable in capri's and tshirts, however, I can, and do wear a dress/skirt/lingerie and heels when the mood strikes me. My nails are always polished and I wear a moderate amount of makeup on a regular basis. I like motorcycles, tattoos, and I play a mean game of poker.

[SirenManda]

I'm extroverted and typical scarlet southern type.

I love animals, I find compassion and love for all things.
Netflix and baking are my favorite pass times.
Football is a big deal to me, where I'm from it's a religion.
I can be hard on myself, I always feel like I can do better. Even if I'm the best at something there's that feeling I can do more.
I rarely open myself to others, once I feel I can't trust you my emotional wall becomes the only emotion I show.
When I get angry, my accent gets thicker.

[Christina]

I am a Stonefemme who caters to the needs & desires of a Stonebutch… Lipstick, high-heeled, femininely polished look at all times, yet who enjoys a deep flushed tangled haired sweat that only a butch can induce within me…

A femme whose heart skips a beat for all the wonders in life, who sees a part of me in other sister-femmes… no matter where they identify on the spectrum…

A femme who appreciates the gift that has been bestowed upon me… having the ability to see a butch through their self-vision, to respect boundaries, encompass mindsets, embracing their need to be whole… whether strapped or not…

But mostly importantly I am a femme who has learned to not lose sight of myself in love and in life…

Resonating…

[Vivacious1]

I just wanted to say that I started reading this thread tonight and couldn't stop! It amazes me that there are so many wonderful women here. While some of the stories seem so intense, the courage and strength is amazing. Proud to be femme! Go girls.

[thedreamerin]

If there was ever anyone born in the wrong era it is me.
What sort of femme am I?
The kind that loves to dance barefoot in the rain.
I am the kind of femme that will had you the hammer so you can get the nail in, because no matter how hard I try I always get it crooked. I'm the kind that will fix you dinner because it pleases me, not because I feel like I have too.
I bake to relieve stress.
I occasionally wear jeans.
I adore my long skirts.
Sometimes I dress vintage with a minimal amount of makeup... The style is often described as pin up girl I believe... Other times I look like I come straight from the sixties. Flower power!
I am the type to hug a tree just because I feel about it. I hate grocery shopping, but I love window shopping.
I don't like see through clothing for myself, though I admire some of the more tasteful ensembles on other people.
I'm the type of femme that has no problems sitting with my feet crossed under me while on the couch, just watching an occasional western.
I have such a hunger for knowledge that you can talk to me about anything, but I warn you, if it has too much to do with a car you've already lost me with the first sentence, but I will keep listening because I am absolutely charmed with the way you talk.
I'm crafty, but I can't follow instructions to save my life, so I find my own way.
I'm the type of femme that thinks it be perfectly okay to sleep in her shirt... and nothing else.
I'd absolutely be tickled pink if you get the door for me, but I wouldn't expect it.
I'll buy my own.
I'll kill the spider, or shoo it out the house, but if there is a mouse? I'm done. LOL
I sing in the shower, while I'm cleaning, and sometimes if you're lucky I'll serenade you.
random facts ****
Loves unicorns
is a dork
loves kittens
loves puppies
love love loves bunnies
and yes, chickens
fantasizes about fixing an old vw bug bus and maybe seeing different parts of the country
Im the type that believes relationships are meant to be even leveled. What you give I will give equivalently. We're meant to be partners and I refuse to be handled with kid gloves... except when I am at a low point and just want you to hold me.

Finally, I'm the type of femme that can't be placed in a box, because for me just like MacGyver I'm going to find about a million ways to escape it.
I am also a nurture type... hence why I work with kids.

[catlady]

I am the lady who loves a cat on her lap while I sip tea and read a book. I love books on nature, witchcraft, occult, science, philosophy, and especially about cats. When I'm not reading, I love creating. I love writing poetry, stories, and even educational papers. I love making crafty cute pretty items.

I go for natural beauty--no make up. I love wearing cute dresses, combat boots, and gladiator sandals. No high heels for me. Cute handbags are an addiction to me, I can never have too many bags.

I also love beautiful instrumental music. Playing my violin makes me feel magical.

[Shystonefem]

I had to think about this...

I am a stone.

I am playful.

I spend hours every week taking care of myself (working out, hair, nails, etc) because that is what makes me feel sexy and I want the person I am with to be proud of me.

I can melt a butch's heart with who I am but I can turn ICE COLD if I am hurt ...

I don't like games, cheats or liars.

I am beyond protective.... and need to feel protected too.

I don't care if someone opens the car door for me or not. I do care about opening an entry door (that is called manners).

If I want someone, I want them. I don't need them.

I am a vegetarian who cares very much about animals and the environment.

I have a huge heart and always sides (and fights) for the underdog.

I wear dresses, skirts, jeans, heels, sneakers, boots... my clothing is fairly eclectic. As long as I feel good, I'll wear it.

I despise arguing and would much rather talk things out. It takes a lot to make me yell....

I need passion in all parts of my life....

I don't fall fast but, when I fall, I fall hard.

I am attracted to strong and sexy. A butch who is confident but not cocky. There has to be that sexy vibe. The sexy vibe is easy to spot, even on here with just posts and chat. Funny is always good too.

I hate it when people think they are better than others. Nobody is better, just different.

I am extremely shy until I feel comfortable. If I am at a party, I am the one talking in a small group and not the one talking to everyone.

I am spiritual and more eclectic Pagan than anything else. Religion is a non-issue with a partner.

I have this wall..... friends have told me that they can almost see the wall go up.

I can't hide my feelings, I am pretty transparent.

Idk... I am just me

[l'Cie]

I am a Femme. Albeit a delayed one.
I am independent. Self-sufficient. Worthy. No I don't always feel that way but in the darkest part of my soul...I just know.
I am fiercely loyal. If I care about you, then I will always care about you. Even if my back bears the scars of your betrayal. Be warned though...when you stab me, I will come at you with a machete and carry on caring afterwards.
When I hurt, I hurt deeply. But my heart is ever-forgiving nonetheless.
I'm a dork. A nerd. A geek. And awfully proud of it.
I prefer a couch and cuddles to a party and love nature and all it's wonder. Except spiders. And locusts. And frogs. The trees. I like nature's trees.
I sing when I bake. I sing when I'm sad. I sing when I sketch. I love sketching. I don't know where it comes from or how it got there. But I love it.
I still use frequent hand gestures when explaining something that excites me and still make grabby hands when I see something that excites me even more (stuffies! I'm a stuffie hoarder. And games.)
I am a Gemini. Which with me, means an idea is usually followed by an even better idea (eg Take a nap...noooo let's have a cookie or four first before that nap) and laughter at inappropriate times
Exercise calms me. So does killing a hoard of demons in Diablo 3 and writing.
I love helping others. It makes me so happy. Being nice to someone just because I've been given another day to do so.

I am a totally weird introvert who's just working hard at being me

[FemmeTastic]

I always knew I wasn't like the other girls when I grew up.

At age 6 I already knew I wasn't getting married ever, and never wanted to have children either, of course, at the time I believed that marrying is something I could only do with men. Things in my perception have changed since then, and I was very happy to say yes to my handsome butch love of my life last year :) As a little girl, against all hopes of my mother to not raise me stereotypically female, I preferred the dolls, the glitter and the dresses over the toy train, balls and pants. She had been raised to be a girly girl and hated it, and promised herself to not do that to her own daughter one day, but I ended up being the girliest girl you could imagine, entirely voluntarily.

At age 12 I happened to watch my first movie with Butch-Femme-dynamics, (Bound - has been a favorite ever since. You might wonder, how did I get my hands on that movie at age 12, well, I grew up in Colombia and went to visit my uncle, he and I wanted to watch a movie so we went to rent one. Medellín being the criminal city it was back then, all the video rentals were closed with bars, so you had to ask for a particular movie or a genre, and they would go and find it for you and hand it to you through the bars. We asked for a mafia or thief movie hahaha, and they gave us Bound) and not even knowing of the existence of the word lesbian, at the sight of the Femme I felt admiration and a feeling of "I want to be as beautiful as her" and at the sight of the Butch, I got red glowing cheeks and for the first time felt something like arousal.

At age 17 I bravely went to lesbian parties all by myself, dolled up and wearing high heels, only to be called hetty by the other guests. Over and over again. Sometimes being refused entrance to parties with the words "Sorry this is a lesbian party". At age 18 I made the decision to never change who I am, despite the exclusion within the lesbian community; I decided to be true to myself, which is being as feminine as it gets! I proudly continued to wear my dresses amongst the feminists who would condemn me for it, accusing me of "emulating the heteronormative ideal of beauty". And despite their judgment, I continued to be an active feminist, and didn't allow my sense of beauty to be manipulated, not from straight folks and certainly not from my own ranks.

I get a lump in my throat when someone speaks disparagingly of Butches and female masculinity, when the kind of humans that happens to be one of the most beautiful to me, is under attack, I hurt. I defend Butches in their absence when that happens, although I wouldn't have to, although I get offered a bitter pill of recognition, in the form of a "compliment": "You don't look gay at all, that's really cool, I mean, not like those masculine lesbians, that's so unattractive, who wants to walk around like that."

I'm the femme who despite the looks of men which I find to be encroaching and uncomfortable, doesn't downgrade how she styles herself. My makeup, my clothes, my hair, my gestures, my movements, they are all what the masses think is some sort of act to enchant men, when it is, in fact, the absolute opposite ... I do not like men, because Femme is my identity. Woman, in the traditional sense, is to me a female that sees herself in any way in relation and contrast to man. I don't. Men as a sex don't play a role in my life. I have a few male friends, but they aren't an energy I need. My sexuality, my lifestyle, my identity, my feelings, my acts and my thinking, do not incorporate men.
Genderwise I see myself not as the counterpart to man, but to Butch.
Therefore, to me, being Femme means to remain childless. I have a different form of femininity, motherhood does not belong to me. Please understand that I'm trying to explain my gender here, I am by no means saying that a mother can't be a Femme and viceversa. Not. at. all.

I see other Femmes as my sisters, as allies rather than competitors. I can rarely have friendships with Butches because they touch/move me on a sexual, intimate level. I naturally keep a distance from Butches with whom I'm not in a relationship, affair or flirting. I can recognize a Butch with just a glance. It's the way we look at each other when we meet by chance, it is a look that says everything, and makes me feel, even if only for a moment, at home. Such moments can nourish me for years, can comfort, soothe and heal me when once again I am being marginalized on a lesbian party with words such as "what is the barbie doing here? She lost?". Or if macho lesbians grab my butt. Or grab me against my will and press their body onto mine. These moments with Butches that are marked by so much appreciation and respect, help me to remember that we exist. Although we are rare.

I am a self-sufficient, strong person. I am emotionally, financially and mentally able to provide for myself. I don't need anybody to organize my move or to screw my shelves to the wall, or to work on my tax return or to make decisions for me. Only for the cruelty free removal of spiders, that's where I take all the help I can get ;)
My appearance is at odds with the perception people outside the B/F-community have of me. I come out in an endless loop. Again and again and again do I have to explain why I don't want to have a husband, why is my partner so masculine, why do I not at least have a girlfriend as feminine as I am...
In a world that doesn't understand any of that, I continue to follow my own heart, my own core. Undeterred by all which is thrown in my face.
Being Latina doesn't help. I have literally no Latinx community left. Being a VERY feminine woman in Colombia is expected. When I show up with my Butch partner, the looks are unbearable and make me ashamed of my community, so I want to spare my partner their bigotry.
I like my Butch to be very masculine in the way she carries herself, I love a deep voice, and a very masculine clothing style. I love the contrast between her and me. I'm very territorial when it comes to my femininity and I love how my partner doesn't show the slightest interest in any of my girly things. Not my make-up, not my perfume, not my clothes, not my jewelry.
Before coming out to myself as a Femme in relation to Butch, I used to identify as lesbian and dated lesbian women, who were sometimes only slightly less feminine than I am. It always felt wrong, it often felt like I was doing something unnatural. For ages I believed I had a severe case of internalized homophobia, until I finally understood that I wasn't feeling natural, because I just simply hadn't allowed myself to really go for the kind of person that made my knees weak and took my breath away: Butches. Ever since I stopped dating androgynous and more feminine lesbians a couple of years ago, I feel like my inside and my outside finally match. I feel like the budding flower of my soul finally bloomed.

Other than that, I'm of course packed with a thousand different qualities good and bad, but they have little to do with the Femme aspects of me, and are more about the human aspects of me. So I'll save those for another thread and another occasion, especially given the length of this post.

Thank you beautiful Femmes, for sharing your stories, your emotions and experiences here, you're such a beautiful bunch of people, reading all those entries has made me feel so proud to be a part of the Femme tribe, has made me feel honored to be amongst such gorgeous human beings.

[gotoseagrl]

It's strange to see that in 6 years, not much has changed. A few things have evolved. The older I get, the more I am humbled by life and able to see what matters and what doesn't.

I have definitely grown even more into my femininity, as far as what it means to me. My hair is the longest it's been in almost 20 years, and while it can be a mess sometimes, I like how it feels. I enjoy wearing just enough makeup to feel "pretty" without overdoing it. I literally feel much better when my nails are painted. I live and breathe my passions, and always will. I can't survive when they are stifled. I'm even more of a painful, pathetic romantic than I was before.

I like to draw swirls and other doodles. I love floral patterns, lace, pearls and vintage colors & designs, in general. I am even more obsessed with vintage and bygone eras than I was before, and I didn't think that was possible. I guess this passion has also contributed to shaping my huge passion for homemaking and old school, old-fashioned values & dynamics, which only seems to grow stronger with time.

I've also had to accept that I have a darker side, that loves Halloween & spooky things, and a lighter side that still loves many things I did as a child - from crafts to games to Disneyland. There are many things I will never outgrow. I've also learned that I don't just love nature, I need it, in whichever way I can have it. Being at the beach or by water, taking a walk in the breeze near dusk.

I love the dichotomy of complementaries. I feel less inadequate about the fact that I am stone. It hasn't been easy to reach this point. And I have a special respect and admiration for those who are unwavering with this as well. Much like my admiration for butch, male ID and trans. Anya wrote beautifully about being a harbor, and I feel the same way.

I am the femme that is a port in the storm for the butch that has the courage to go out into an unaccepting, unforgiving world to be exactly who and what they are


good thread.

hmm. i am an old spirit and always have been. there is a sensitive place in my soul for things of the past. i am attracted to people older than myself. i consider myself very femme and am fiercely attracted to butches. i am very shy (writing this is a bit difficult, but i love the topic), reserved and introverted, though i will always find a way to be direct when i feel so compelled (see quote below). i am always very polite. i warm up easily to those with whom i effortlessly connect. i am usually "the quiet one." it is easier for me to express myself through writing or touching. in a bad situation i tend to draw into my shell at first. not a chatty type, but with the right people can spend endless hours going on and on. i am a homebody, but do love traveling. i am an over-thinker. i do believe in that space between self and thought. i am extremely passionate, but am generally not an extremist. i tend to admire passions of others whether i agree with them or not. i'm deeply moved when people are simply or unexpectedly kind and thoughtful. i am open to truth and exploration. i cannot do without honesty. i love learning. i embrace diversity. i think individuality is hot and blind conformity is not. i don't believe propriety is always necessary. i find it gratifying aligning to grids, but more aesthetically pleasing when they are broken (think David Carson & April Greiman). i am a hopeless romantic who has tried fighting it as a curse (lol). i am a marshmallow. i am very submissive and i like a clearly defined dynamic in a relationship. i love intimacy. i love partnership. i love exchanging "that glance" no matter the place. subtlety can be hot. so can raw straightforwardness. music and nature are my solace. beaches (any place with water), libraries and museums are my sanctuaries. i'm a nerd. i am hypersensitive to my environment. generally don't like big crowds or loud noises for an extreme amount of time. i love minimalism over extravagance. i love simple pleasures. i love laughing to tears. i tend to find extraordinary joy or peace in the smallest or most overlooked aspects of life. sometimes i just love darkness, silence and stillness. i am not a clothing label type of person. i'd rather shop for books or art over clothes. i don't wear fake nails, mine grow naturally. i stopped wearing makeup a few years ago but shaping eyebrows and keeping lips soft are a routine. i dress casually most of the time, but do enjoy dressing up whenever i have to. love boho style clothing and jewelry, though the only particular fashion i tend to adhere to is comfort. i love wearing long, comfy skirts, especially while treading on the shore or relaxing somewhere. i love dressing for fall & winter. i don't think i'll ever let my hair grow past my shoulders again. i prefer alternatives to fancy purses. i can be ready in less than an hour. i generally despise materialistic fluff. i don't like facades. i am a realist who loves to escape. i feel as though there are uncharted parts of my soul and can strongly sense things & places i've never truly experienced before. i am sincere.

[FemmeTastic]

... I do not like men, because Femme is my identity.

Ugh, I have a typo here, and can't go back to edit my post. I meant to say:
"I do not want to make men like me, because Femme ist my identity."

I blame it on the almost full moon. Probably some sort of freudian slip...

[Kätzchen]

I am Femme

My femme identity is marked by death-defying logic that embraces a kaleidoscope of many social constructions.

I revel in all that I am able to learn about: by either listening to or reading up on a plethora of subjects.

The more I know, the better I feel. I learn in different ways – mostly I learn by observation – noticing complexity in the way people choose to behave or communicate and because of my ardent desire to understand as fully as possible, I’ve spent most of my life in the background – not desiring foreground recognition.

I don’t need anyone to validate who I am.

I am also a mother to two sons and while it would seem that the male side of the population longs to oppress and dress down female bodied human beings, I will abandon my love for being in the background and will come out of the woodwork, with an undeniable force, and return your egregious soul to the place it belongs.

I’m a lover.

I’m a fighter.

I’m quiet; yet when I have something to say, I make sure I am heard.

I’m loyal, but when I discover non-reciprocal, inequitable relationship processes, I will cut you out of my life.

I am a survivor of many forms of abuse. I believe in checking up on my own boundary systems – because I tend to welcome exploration and discovery of things I have no knowledge of. Mostly, I feel that the wiggle room I allow for my boundaries is managed judiciously.

If I choose to share my power with you, I expect you to honor my power, as I will yours.

I like to pamper myself - my indulgences, proclivities include: wearing makeup (or not), keeping my hair coiffed beautifully, keeping my hands and feet well taken care of, and sleeping as long as I feel led to do so because I do tend to require lots of sleep – especially if I have had to stay up for long periods of time to get my duties accomplished.

I am sensual. My appetite for having sex still exists – I crave closeness, reciprocal levels of intimacy – before my sexual fire can be lit and rage out of control. My Femme being is of a Queer orientation.

I desire and require your full attention.

I am intelligent and my range of intelligence will surprise you.

I have been my best friend and confidante for years now and I care deeply for myself and how I am treated.

I am sensitive.

I can also be heartless, cold, insensitive and unfeeling, when the occasion calls for me to be this way.

I am passionate.

I am filled with compassion.

I am filled with humility by my lack of perfection and ability to be perfect.

My Femme perfection is a potent elixir. Not everyone is able to tolerate the taste of me.

But I am loved. I do love. I am liked for who I am. I am also disliked and I am okay with that.

I’m an assessor and I evaluate and process at a relentless pace. I’m also known to shut down and wall out distraction, noise that keeps me from hearing what I need to hear.

I’m fearless.

I’m not afraid to die. I have died on numerous occasions. I choose to live in the present moment.

I am known to wonder and revel in that which is deliciously intoxicating.

I am artistic – I love to draw, sing, play music, listen to music, paint, create sculpture – I appreciate art in all the forms I have discovered and enjoyed.

I love to cook foods and prepare sumptuous meals.

I am reserved, sometimes shy. I am highly expressive under the right conditions. I am very communicative. I am expert in my field of communication.

I surprise myself and others.

I am a precious gift, unwrap me with care.

Adore me, cherish me, and recognize me as the Goddess I am, for I am: Femme.

:blueheels:

Seven years ago, on May 28th @ approximately 4:30 in the afternoon, I wrote about the Femme in me. Everything I wrote about describes me in ways that still hold true today. :hk28:

[Femmewench]

Casual mainly - I can dress up, but prefer that to mean lingerie rather than heels and hose. I don't like heels. I'm sandals or crocs or a pair of dancing ankle boots.
I'm a true Taurus - stubborn. I have an easier time saying "you're right" than "I'm wrong."
I'm a high school drop out which you'd never guess.
I'm an introvert for my energy and still somewhat shy. Much less so now than 20-30 years ago.
I can make myself blush completely unintentionally. Sometimes I truly don't hear the double entendre until after I've said it.
I blush fairly easily for 58. I used to think you outgrew blushing.
I'm not big on makeup. I've never used foundation as I'm just fine with my blemishes.
I have a very good memory. Being told to suck in my tummy when I was 10. Being told someone had a good dermatologist who could deal with the blotch near my eye in my 40s. Self image is a struggle, but not enough of one that I didn't ask the woman with the dermatologist why she thought I'd go to one.
I find confrontation uncomfortable (thanks mom.) To my detriment, I'd rather ignore some things for the sake of my comfort level. But there is a limit.
I'm unwilling to go to sleep angry.
I overanalyze.
I take people at face value and haven't been burned for it.
I've never wanted children and have had none, but I'm very nurturing.
I'm a masochist who has a low pain threshold, until I'm flying on endorphins.
I've fought my submissive side most of my life, but now am more open to it.
I bought Variations magazine in my teens and knew I was not nilla.
I knew at 14 I liked girls and knew that wasn't safe.
I'm the world's best represser as I rediscovered liking girls at 37.
I thought I was asexual in between which made no sense to me.
I actually asked a therapist if there was anything wrong with being happy I was a lesbian.
My first 4th of July with a beach picnic put on by a dyke motorcycle group I was told I wouldn't have been picked up to be taken to the beach (had to park far away) as I didn't look like a lesbian. Stupid woman - her, not me.
As soon as I came out, I went to the gay bookstore and bought them out. Persistent Desire was a godsend.
There are shiny things and squirrels in my world on a fairly frequent basis.
I love painted toenails and fingernails.
I'm adopted and pro-choice. Had I ever become pregnant, abortion would have been my option.
I have only ever been attracted to those on the butch end of the scale. It's the required energy to make parts of me come to life - and that's my grey matter which controls other parts as well.
I enjoy having the door held open for me and have no problem holding the door open for others. If I don't get an acknowledgment for doing so, I'm prone to telling them "you're welcome" in a loud tone of voice.
I said thank you to the man who stole my wallet because he let me go ahead of him in a turn style. Manners count.
I can swear and do, but mostly not where I can be overheard.
I kill spiders without hesitation and can kill cockroaches but prefer to let someone else do that if possible.
I'm learning to change the oil on my generator.
I love to cook for friends. and lovers. I love the sense of community that can generate. I love taking care of you and being taken care of.
There's more of course, but some things should be left to discover.
Oh - I don't have femme friends in r/t. They're few and far between. I'd like some though.

[girl_dee]

i am simple but complex (like a daisy)
i am wiser- learning from past mistakes
i love deeply when i do love
i love to take care of those i love
i don't trust easily
i don't always feel that i am enough "femme"
i adore my femme sisters
i appreciate the struggle of butches
i despise feeling like an invisible femme
i am an introvert, but once i am out there i tend to have a good time
i have learned to embrace my submissiveness as part of me rather than try to make it fit to someone else's idea of what i should be.

[Licious]

This is a great question.

I am casual usually, some of that is just practical, due to health issues. Always was a jeans and knit top kind of a gal anyway.

Prefer flat sandals to heels. Like tennies if doing a lot of walking. Heels very limited, again health is part of that. But only part.

I am a casual femme, a practical femme.

But in relationships, I am aware of feeling "girly" whatever that is.

I love my lipstick, eye makeup, I love perfume, I love my toenail polish.

Hands, short nails, clear polish, practical.

I admire a strong butch who can fix things. Sometimes I can fix something and it gives me satisfaction. But that's not so much my thing.

I like to pamper a sweetheart. Fuss over them a little, and make them feel comfortable.

I am not rigid on roles, but I knew early on that maybe I wasn't a typical androgynous gay woman. That was so popular when I came out. But I got tired of plaid, and in private I kept putting on makeup and sparkly toenail polish.

I was attracted to women who were decidedly more tomboyish than I was.

I do like the occasional dress and lingerie and when I date someone who appreciates my makeup and girly ways, it makes me so happy.

I was pleased when I ran across some sites for butch/femme people in the 2000s. I thought I was some kind of bizarre anomaly for a long time.

So, not a high femme, not a tomboy femme...I made up my own name for it.

Humorously: Suburban Housewife Femme. Yup.

[Nat]

I think maybe these days I don't feel like a femme anymore. I felt so solidly femme for a long while - even with my gender stuff which is sort of dual. But I cut my hair off a year ago and I feel weird lately if I wear something that feels too girly and I just kind of feel like that part of me has died. Every once in a while maybe I can still access that part of me, but less and less often. It's like one day I walked through a doorway and that part of me stayed behind.

Sometimes I think it would be nice to see how people identify like every 5 years. How static is identity, especially if you are lgbtq+? How often do people who identify as butch or femme find that one day they no longer are? I don't know. I only came back to post this because sometimes people like other things I have posted here and it makes me feel odd now, feeling less and less that femme is an identity I can rightly claim.

Maybe one day I will walk through some other doorway and find that part of me eagerly waiting. I do not know.

[Femmewench]

I think maybe these days I don't feel like a femme anymore. I felt so solidly femme for a long while - even with my gender stuff which is sort of dual. But I cut my hair off a year ago and I feel weird lately if I wear something that feels too girly and I just kind of feel like that part of me has died. Every once in a while maybe I can still access that part of me, but less and less often. It's like one day I walked through a doorway and that part of me stayed behind.

Sometimes I think it would be nice to see how people identify like every 5 years. How static is identity, especially if you are lgbtq+? How often do people who identify as butch or femme find that one day they no longer are? I don't know. I only came back to post this because sometimes people like other things I have posted here and it makes me feel odd now, feeling less and less that femme is an Identity I can rightly claim.

Maybe one day I will walk through some other doorway and find that part of me eagerly waiting. I do not know.

A thoughtful question given the spectrum. Moving within the femme end and moving within the butch end are probably both expected to a certain degree. Moving to a different side of the spectrum may be less common, but uncommon can be a wonderful thing. As long as it feels right to you enjoy you.

[Esme nha Maire]

I think maybe these days I don't feel like a femme anymore. I felt so solidly femme for a long while - even with my gender stuff which is sort of dual. But I cut my hair off a year ago and I feel weird lately if I wear something that feels too girly and I just kind of feel like that part of me has died. Every once in a while maybe I can still access that part of me, but less and less often. It's like one day I walked through a doorway and that part of me stayed behind.

Sometimes I think it would be nice to see how people identify like every 5 years. How static is identity, especially if you are lgbtq+? How often do people who identify as butch or femme find that one day they no longer are? I don't know. I only came back to post this because sometimes people like other things I have posted here and it makes me feel odd now, feeling less and less that femme is an identity I can rightly claim.

Maybe one day I will walk through some other doorway and find that part of me eagerly waiting. I do not know.

That sounds somewhat similar to my experience. Earlier today, I found my photo album, which had been AWOL for several months, which includes one of the best photos ever taken of me, nearly thirty years ago. In it, I have permed hair, gold earrings and a gold writswatch with a thin strap, and I'm wearing a simple strapless red dress that ended at the knee, and 1.5in heel court shoes, and I'm holding a maroon clutch bag. My nails back then were still extremely strong, and they were long, perfect ovals, and painted, and my face made up. I looked very much the femme, and felt perfectly happy so, although back then I was also very nervous, lacking the self confidence that I have today. Back then, at work I wore a nice grey skirt-suit from Long Tall Sally, with slightly flatter court shoes, and a white blouse. I was a size (UK) 14. 38-28-38 and 5ft 11 (175cm) tall.

Contrast today. I'm sat at my PC wearing camo leggings and a camo shirt/jacket (over a 'Strangers in Paradise' T-shirt), no makeup because I havent left the flat today, but if I do apply any makeup, it's foundation and lippy only. My most common attire is walking boots, black jeans, black tank-top and often a large, long thick grey buttonless waistcoat with deep pockets, topped off with a black brimmed hat. I do occasionally still wear skirts, but I don't do femme the way I used to partly because I haven't a good figure and it's hard to look good in form-fitting skirts or dresses if you have a bit of a pot belly (I went up to a size 22 at one point - down to an 18 now), partly because I can no longer see well enough without glasses to do more elaborate makeup, and partly because I can't be bothered to try to achieve a femme look when I can far more easily achieve a reasonable and distinctive tomboy look. (It's good enough that I still get straight guys making passes at me every few weeks. Sigh... - but hey it's still a compliment, right? :-})

I realised at some point that what matters to me most is not what my appearance is, but that I look reasonably good at whatever style I'm wearing. Also, I have lost that slight sense of otherness compared to cis-women that bedeviled me for many years, and no longer think of myself as trans-anything, my primary identity being, simply, lesbian. Being introvert, I've been a natural wallflower, but that was fiercely reinforced by a lot of personal paranoia due to life experiences. Recently, I've got over most of those, partially aided by chatting with a therapist. And I positively want to chase women and chat them up, I've just had few opportunities to do so since gaining the level of confidence I now have.

So what does that make me? Durned if I know - but I don't actually care except insofar as it's good to be both self-aware and aware of how others perceive onself. I've tried, just for the fun of it, comparing myself to lesbians on film or on YouTube. Am I more/less femme/butch than her? Who makes me swoon/melt? Would I be the butch to her femme or the femme to her butch or would we be kinda equals even if somewhat different? What I don't do is try to nail myself down with labels, because that way can lie madness if there is no label that clearly fits you well.

So yeah, I've had the startling experience of being thought to be butch when I started off as femme. But as well as my appearance having changed, so too have some of my attitudes, whilst others always were tomboyish. I'm not as pretty as I once was, but I still cry at the drop of a hat if something moves me sufficiently, and i love cats and bunnies and pretty stuff - and beautiful machinery, military history, etc. I can bake cakes and, at a pinch, fix stuff. IF I managed to regain something like a decent figure, I'd quite happily see if I could carry off a 'glamourous gran' look occasionally, just for the fun of seeing the reaction of folk who've seen me only looking tomboyish this last couple of years and a bit of a drab for several years previous. But I think the only label that approximates what I am now is tomboy.

All I know for certain is I'm being the best me I can be. If anyone doesn't like that, tough. Their problem, not mine! :-}

(added in edit - I've just remembered- the second best photo taken of me was at the end of 2016, one of only four ever taken of me on skates in my derby gear - despite which, with my hair falling forward across my shoulders, I look quite girly as well as slightly menacing!)