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-   -   What do YOU need to feel loved? (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1221)

The cute widdle wesbian 08-03-2011 12:25 AM

I believe in the 5 love languages for basically what everyone does to express love, and basically how they feel most loved. There's a lot of other stuff mixed in, we can never make it easy lol, but the 5 love languages are: Words of affirmation, acts of service, giving/recieving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. I'm definitely physical touch and my wife is words of affirmation, which simply means that she sometimes has to bat me off her with a stick when I'm feeling too sentimental and I have to shut her up when she's that way. lol, but we balance each other out. She loves my touchy feely ways, how I constantly need hugging and kissing and rubbing and holding and lots of cuddling, if she didn't like that then it would be a disaster for both of us lol, and I like hearing her mooshy wooshy lovy dovy 5-minute long explanations and 3-page letters of her love for me, if I didn't I'd me much too easily annoyed with her. It's the click that we have with each other, even though sometimes she thinks I'm hanging off her too much and I think she talks too much. :P

So that's what makes me feel loved, lots of touching. I'm horrible at expressing my deep feelings through words, I'm the clumsiest person there is with words, but I'm great with touch. So that's how I feel the love, but I also love hearing the words, which I guess would be my second love language in a sense. Just don't expect me to make a speech of love, I feel like a rambling fool when I get started.

Mister Bent 08-22-2011 01:50 PM

cider vinegar and...
 
http://dyn-images.hsni.com/is/image/...ine~385999.jpg

J. Mason 08-22-2011 07:07 PM

Honesty and respect and some beer.

clay 08-22-2011 07:22 PM

nada
 
Don't need anything as I haz it ALL now....<smile> I AM loved!!!

bigbutchmistie 08-22-2011 07:25 PM

Gosh I havent seen this in awhile. :) I love this thread. I still stand on all the previous things I have stated....

Its very hard to get my heart. But once one does, its very easy to make me feel loved :)

Estella 08-22-2011 07:29 PM

I am a simple girl with simple needs. All I really require to feel loved, cared for and protected is someone who will, without question or comment, come into the bathroom while I'm showering to dispose of the large, unidentifiable bug lurking in the corner.

Library_girl 08-23-2011 03:56 PM

I've read several pages in this thread, and I keep nodding my head, sighing, agreeing with so many! But I'm going to post anyway, so here goes:

I need affection, lots of it: kisses for no reason, surprise touches, your fingers through my hair, walk up behind me and wrap your arms around me....

I need laughter

I need someone who will let me shower them with love

I need communication

I need nurturing

I need someone who won't run for the hills when it gets rough--because I never will

I need fidelity

I need trust

I need passion (oh yes, please)

I need a little PDA

I need someone who will tell me and show me how they feel

I need understanding

I need commitment

I need someone who thinks I'm the most beautiful and wonderful femme on earth (because if I love you, I will think you are the most fantastic, hottest, sexiest butch ever, and you will know it)

I need someone to challenge me

I need someone who equally gives and takes

I need intelligent conversation

I need some who has similar and different interests than my own

I need romance: little notes, showers together, slow dancing, holding hands, anniversaries, etc.

I need someone who thinks "we" are so important!

I need someone who is proud of "us" and of me

I need respect

And did I mention affection? Plenty of that.

diamondrose 08-23-2011 04:05 PM

I need actions, mostly refering to physical touch and affections. That would have to be my top thing amoungst many other things.

lettertodaddy 08-23-2011 04:49 PM

I'm new here, and after having my heart broken recently by a careless butch, I've been thinking about this quite a lot.

I need attention. Yes, I'm needy. Not psycho stalker needy, but I like it when you reply to my texts/emails, send me texts/emails throughout the day just to say hi (or to share a joke).

I like to be touched. Not full-on making out in public (though that's OK), but just hold my hand when we're out and about. Touch my shoulder when you walk by.

I need you to let me touch you. I can live with not touching you that way if you're stone, but let me hold you sometime. You can't always be the strong one.

I need open communication. I need honesty. I need respect and a willingness to remember that we love each other, even when we're angry with one another.

I need someone who is present and lives in the moment. Don't worry about what will happen tomorrow, or next week, or next year. Just focus on how we feel in that moment and let those feelings guide how we act toward one another.

That sounds like a lot, doesn't it? It may be why I'm still alone. :(

princessbelle 08-23-2011 05:39 PM

Not a lot.

This, however, is a must.


http://dl6.glitter-graphics.net/pub/...ida4iwnovc.gif

The_Lady_Snow 08-23-2011 05:50 PM

Not much to ask for
 
I need to be able to:

http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e3..._Red_Suede.jpg

http://www.kinowear.com/images/belts/belt5.jpg


http://th04.deviantart.net/fs7/150/i...y_LadyMynx.jpg


http://www.monkeybound.com/pics/prod...DSCF7576.1.jpg

whenever I want....

bigbutchmistie 08-25-2011 08:26 PM

I need consistency

I need affection and lots of it

I need to feel like I am your King. Cause be damned sure I will treat you as my Queen

I need someone who challenges me

I need someone who "gets" me

I need to hear it but I more so need actions. You can tell me all day long and if you arent showing it. It has no meaning

I will be back to add more later.... :)

Ginger 04-28-2012 09:48 AM

To feel loved, I need to feel seen clearly and listened to. I need to feel trusted. I also need to know that I am a priority in that person's life, and that my safety, comfort and well being are a factor in her and our decisions. I need to be part of a long-term plan, that we make together. I want to feel that she is happy to see me when I walk in the door, and is sad to see me leave for little trips or whatever. I need to feel confided in, and I need her to be a confidante for me.

Not so outrageous, these expectations, but not so easy to find, either.

Nomad 08-19-2012 02:58 PM

- self respect makes it possible for me to feel loved. that's a definite need. maybe we concentrate too little on that sometimes. losing it certainly brings things into focus.

- healthy, well balanced Dominance makes me to feel loved. so much so that i cant engage without it. not a popular answer maybe. dont know. dont care. Dominance from someone who is made up of equal parts respect for themselves and for me, consistency between words and actions, decisiveness, trustworthiness, honesty without fail, compassion, a healthy dose of humility, self-awareness, open mindedness, and the ability to be a mentor and friend, all with a vein of humor running through the mix makes me feel loved.

*might as well add that if someone cant show me those qualities outside the bedroom there's no point in making an effort to get inside the bedroom. i stopped defining sex as love a long time ago.

Bard 08-19-2012 03:02 PM

all i need is to be taken for who I am not who they may wish I could be to be respected and cared for .. I found all of this in my Desd all I really need is her .. her arms around me make me feel like I am home .. she makes my heart smile

Corkey 08-19-2012 05:20 PM

a smile from my girl
I'm a simple man.

LesboNascarFan 08-19-2012 06:10 PM

Hmmm...
I need my partner to let me know that I exist and am special to her. It would make my day to get replies to my texts or even send an occasional text to let me know you are thinking of me.

Have open communication. Talk to me when something is bothering you or you are having a bad day and hear me out when I have to talk to you about something or I have a bad day.

Hold my hand, hug me, kiss me, look into my eyes and tell me you love me..show me your love as I will show you how much I love you. Even when we are angry with each other, we still need to hug and kiss our goodbyes for the day.

Treat me with respect as I will treat you like you are the center of my universe.

I know..too much...maybe that is why I have noone special in my life right now.

*Anya* 08-19-2012 06:13 PM

“Becoming real happens when someone loves you for a long, long time...generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby.

But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

~The Velveteen Rabbit~

To feel loved, I just need to be able to be Real.

Vivacious1 08-19-2012 08:52 PM

Let's see;
 
Honestly, I think I am pretty simple but most have said too high maintainence! I want to be protected, respected, honored and cherished. (and spoiled sometimes) *s I want someone to stand up to me when I need that and to just listen when I don't and someone that knows the difference. Don't say you like me one way and change your mind later. Be secure in yourself and with me. Be confident, not cocky. Finish my sentence, when I can't. Hold me when I don't know what I need. Be strong for me when I feel weak. Don't tell me what I can't do, help me to do them. Look at me like I am the only woman in the room. Touch me softly, just to let me know your there. Don't grope me.... Don't try to buy me, share life with me. You don't need to put me above you.... just walk beside me. I am old fashioned in some ways, I will take the best care of you... always let me know how valued I am.

alexri 08-20-2012 07:21 PM

Gonna take a different approach here...

I need someone who doesn't buy into the Jerry McGuire "you complete me" bullsh*t. You don't complete me. I am complete by myself. You complement me. You help me see things in myself that I didn't see. You bring out great things in me, and I do that for you too.

I need someone really, really, close... who will occasionally leave me alone. We don't have to do every single thing together. We don't have to have 100% of the same hobbies, friends and interests. I hate it when couples morph into this "one" thing and the individuals lose their identity. I expect to have individual activities with or without other friends involved. That's not to say that if your idea of a hobby is robbing liquor stores or blowing the family fortune at the casino that it's okay.. obvious issues there. But if you love to knit and I want to poke my eye out, or I like to do races and you wouldn't run if a lion was chasing you, I don't expect you to take up a hobby I have or go to an event I like if you have no interest. I need alone time and buddy bonding time.

And I need chocolate. Just sayin.


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