If a man is alone in the forest and has a thought, is he still wrong?

YESSSSS
(That was a given)

Beer is proof that god loves us and wants us to be happy.

How Smart is Your Right Foot?

This is so funny that it will boggle your mind, and you will keep
trying at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your foot, but
you can't.

1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor
and make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your
right hand. Your foot will change direction.

I told you so .....And there's nothing you can do about it

Twilight is a story about a girl who has to choose between beastiality or nechrophilia!

http://pic100.picturetrail.com/VOL11.../399569573.jpg


I know I am going straight to hell for this, but it made me laugh so hard I peed a little. :)

<in case you don't get it...look for jesus> ;)

How To Cook A Turkey:

First, buy the turkey and a bottle of vodka. Pour yourself a glass of vodka and put the turkey in the oven. Take another 2 drinks of vodka, and set the degree at 375 ovens. Have 3 more vodka of drink and turn the oven on. Take 4 of vodka drinky and turk the bastey. Stick a turkey in the thermometer, and glass yourself a pour of vodka. Bake the vodka for 4 hours, take the oven out of the turkey, and floor the turkey up off the pick. Pour yourself another glass of turkey. Now just tet the sable, and turk the carvey.

one of the kids randomly making a comment...well fact... about monkeys ...

It all began with an iPhone...
March, was when our son celebrated his 17th birthday, and we got him an iPhone. He just loved it. Who wouldn't?

I celebrated my birthday in July, and my wife made me very happy when she bought me an iPad.

Our daughter's birthday was in August, so we got her an iPod Touch.

My wife celebrated her birthday in September, so I got her an iRon.

It was around then that the fight started...

I dont remember much, just a lot of shouting from my wife..... iWash, iCook, and iClean.

I should be out of the hospital next week!!
iHurt.













..

http://i265.photobucket.com/albums/i...ncio_77/00.jpg

Q: How can you tell the difference btw an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

A: By the taste

Some days it's not even worth chewing through the restraints.

Happy Valentine everyone,
Tonight will be just like last year, Romantic meal for one, wine for 4.

Came home one day early in December to find all my doors and windows smashed in and everything gone. What sort of sick person does that to someone's Advent calendar.?

Peter Piper and his Pickled Peppers
 

If Peter Piper picked a peck of Pickled Peppers,
A peck of Pickled Pepper Peter Piper picked....
If Peter Piper picked a peck of Pickled Peppers,
How many Pickled Peppers did Peter Piper Pick???
:moonstars: