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-   Breakups, Lessons Learned, Healing (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=131)
-   -   Important things I learned from past relationships (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4714)

imadiva 03-04-2013 07:14 AM

What I have learned !
 

I have learned that your words can break a heart .
I am not all the mean things you called me ! But , I already knew that ..
When you omitted information it always came back at us.
Nothing is ever perfect but that's ok.
You are your own worst enemy .
No amount of love is enough sometimes .
If you want real communication you need to listen to WHAT the person is saying .
A BROKEN HEART is like a broken promise. But that's ok because what doesn't kill us will teach us very Valuable Lessons . Thank You ! Xoxo

StrongButch 03-04-2013 08:00 AM

Learned
 
1) You will love again.2) Walk away and wish them the best.3) Never look back.4) Take care of yourself.5) Give yourself time to heal.

Kobi 03-04-2013 08:55 AM


~ that I can choose to focus on the good or the bad. Focusing on the good seems to come from a position of strength. Focusing on the bad, from a position of weakness.

~ every woman has taught me some important things about living, loving, communication, and the art of relationships.

~ that different people bring out different parts of me and discovering new and unknown things is kind of exciting.

~ actions still speak louder than words

~ setting limits and boundaries still comes from love and caring

~ocean 03-04-2013 09:09 AM

Listen to friends
Don't put so much of urself out there
Try to be understanding
Don't forget that your are important too
Don't count on promises
Stay independant
Remember there were good times
Focus on new beginnings
Forgive~

kittygrrl 03-04-2013 04:04 PM

love what you have, learn to look at things you consider negative in a different way..love doesn't necessarily mean you are bookends..the universe gives each of us what we need..find your destiny

TheMerryFairy 03-04-2013 04:07 PM

I have learned that sometimes becoming isolated is what you need to really understand who you are and what is important to you in your life.

I have learned to always always embrace who you are completely and find time for the little things to indulge in.

I have learned that you simply cannot please somebody and giving them contol will only result in losing yourself.

I have learned to be free and to trust in my confidence and ability to follow my dreams, to float above my path.

I have learned that life and love goes on.

KCBUTCH 03-04-2013 04:47 PM

My most recent epiphany is that one reason being apart a better part of the last 3 yrs of our relationship before it ended was that I could have Love without compromising my time...I was able to keep my life intact.undisturbed
I recognize this because when anyone upsets the current delicate balance I am used to I tend to become easily irritated and feel like their being invasive.

Its honest...Oh course part of that may be taking 6 six classes and working and any distraction takes me from what I need to do then I get anxious...
Hmmmm dilemma's

OH and Its ok to block or restrict access to her and her family until I am ready to not..

FeminineAllure 03-04-2013 10:35 PM

When you stop trying to control, change, or fix people, and simply love them right where they're at miracles happen.

FeminineAllure 03-04-2013 10:40 PM

and...
 
There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go...

Girl_On_Fire 03-04-2013 11:02 PM

Great thread topic!

I've actually learned quite a lot from past relationships. One, if I'm attracted to you, you're probably in desperate need of being fixed. lol! *shrugs* Maybe that's not fair but it is a pattern with me.

Alright, let's see...I have learned from past relationships:
  • That I am incredibly strong and resourceful
  • That I have a great deal of patience
  • Being a healer truly is my calling
  • Love can completely blind me
  • I deserve better
  • I see the world differently than others
  • I could never have stayed as innocent and naive as I was and live
  • I've got mean left hook (Yeah, I defended myself that night)
  • My family truly loves me

That last one is the most valuable lesson an ex has ever taught me. That my family, despite the fact they didn't understand me in childhood, would defend me with their lives and actually missed me when I was gone for over 2 years. Up until recently, I thought I was merely tolerated.

I've never had a stronger bond with my friends and family as I do now and I'm grateful for every moment with them. I've learned priorities. I've also learned I'm very much a loan wolf. I've always functioned better out of a relationship than in one. Perhaps some day that will change but for now, I'm very content right where I am.

Glenn 03-10-2013 03:52 PM

Anytime anyone is kissing your ass when you have'nt done anything for them yet, you should be very suspicious.

meridiantoo 03-10-2013 04:49 PM

People can lie about who they are because they don't know who they are. We are all at different levels of self-awareness. BIG LESSON.

DMW 03-13-2013 03:36 PM




http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/i...uck-Cher_l.jpg

http://www.hark.com/clips/gmmsrrhpsl...love-him-awful


Chancie 03-13-2013 03:45 PM

I've learned to ask myself, Does it really matter?

girl_dee 03-13-2013 04:39 PM

that anything less than 100% honestly will end in disaster.


wahya 03-28-2013 07:32 PM

That i was a control freak..and needed to learn patience. Thank you! wherever you may be. :) lesson learned.

julieisafemme 03-28-2013 07:34 PM

That shared values and a commitment to team work are the foundations of a successful relationship.

~ocean 04-25-2013 09:37 PM

let there be peace after an argument~
don't put so many demands on me ~ too much makes me run ~
say positive words ~ not negative thoughts ~
don't repeat and repeat your demands ~notice I am covering my ears ~
notice if treating u right is a HUGE effort ~
ultimatum's belong in business ~ not when romance should be expressed ~
both partners have something to say ~ so listen ~

bright_arrow 04-25-2013 09:55 PM

I think this poem says it all
 
After a while you learn
The subtle difference between
Holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaving
And company doesn't always mean security.

And you begin to learn
That kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes ahead
With the grace of a woman
Not the grief of a child

And you learn
To build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is
Too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way
Of falling down in mid flight

After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much
So you plant your own garden
And decorate your own soul
Instead of waiting
For someone to bring you flowers

And you learn
That you really can endure
That you are really strong
And you really do have worth
And you learn and you learn
With every good bye you learn.


Veronica A. Shoffstall

hagster 04-26-2013 05:00 PM

I've learned anger isn't always founded in hurt and when it's present, it's not a good fit. I see that I'm capable of losing my identity and ... I shouldn't write poetry. Most importantly, the manner in which I walk away is as important, maybe more so, as the manner I walk towards. I don't get a second chance to do that right.

On the flip side, I've learned I can choose what I react to. I am capable of giving what I want in return. And ...I want to give.


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