Miss T,
When my Mom died many years ago, the priest who gave her last rights said. "Your mother was a good woman. Her time in Purgatory should be short." I wanted to choke him, I wanted to slap him (really hard!) Somehow I managed to remain silent. I knew he was not educable on this subject, and I had more important things to do. But to this day his words ring in my ears. People do say stupid things.

I am sorry you had to hear these stupid comments, which I am sure were repeated to you more than once. Sending you (((hugs.)))
Smooches,
Keri

Cody,
I am sorry I missed your post a few days ago. I hope the wave of sadness has receded a little. It is so hard to lose your Mom.
Sending you light and strength,
Keri

Boys to Men...One sweet day
 

"One Sweet Day"


Sorry I never told you
All I wanted to say
And now it's too late to hold you
'Cause you've flown away
So far away

Never had I imagined
Living without your smile
Feeling and knowing you hear me
It keeps me alive
Alive

[Chorus:]
And I know you're shining down on me from heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day

Momma I never showed you
Assumed you'd always be there
I took your presence for granted
But I always cared
And I miss the love we shared

[Chorus]

Although the sun will never shine the same again
I'll always look to a brighter day
Lord I know when I lay me down to sleep
You will always listen as I pray

[Chorus]

Sorry I never told you
All I wanted to say

Andrew, I'm so sorry for your loss of your sister. I wish I could say it gets better with time but I don't think it does; I think we just learn to integrate the loss into our sense of self, and it becomes part of us, in way that expands who we are. Which in the end is a good thing. Take care of yourself. IslandScout

What can I say.............
 

My mom
 

To all who share your grief and your stories, thank you.

I am glad i saw this thread.....

My mom passed away in June on the 10th....I have been dealing with my grief in my own way...Ive been hearing the words let it go just let it go and this disturbs me because im doing the best i can .....all on my own

I wish i had known about this thread before i might have been able to share in the grief steps...im still going through them

Its been ten years since my dad passed....i miss him terribly too...

Hugs Grey.

Whenever I experience loss, I start to dream again about my sister.

After she died I found two poems on her hard drive she'd written about me, that I'd never seen. She left me that gift.

And now that I'm leaving my partner's or I guess ex-partner's house and my sense of home and security is in a little bit of distress (it's also an exciting time), my sister is more present in my mind.

"The sea will never be displaced by me," she wrote in an ironic poem I insisted they put in the program for her funeral, though it had people scratching their heads. She was humble and also had this wry distant sense of how unique her mind was.

Twice I've called my ex by her name, and last night I dreamed my sister was my roommate, and our apartment was incredibly light and sunny, with lots of people coming and going, and the chaos was comforting. I thought it was a good sign.

My Mom
 

My mom passed away this week. She was the eldest daughter of seven children. My mother helped raise her siblings. I was the eldest daughter of my mother's seven children. I was named after my mom.

When I last saw my mother this summer she told me that my name Greyson fits me perfectly. She told me I was her "Grey Son. Not quite one or the other." My mom told me my name suited me perfectly.

I wrote my mom a letter to take with her into eternity. I am comforted to know she cried with joy when the letter was read to her. My letter was cremated with my mom. The truth is, not only the letter, a piece of me too. I love you Mom. Until we meet again.

your Greyson.

I can so relate it's my moms also but back in may, the 28th on memorial day ... I think I wrote you before on the dash site, my name was Ally_J2005.
I'm sorry for your loss and your hurt. But know one thing she is looking down on you.

Someone who shares your pain ! ~KatFl~

January will be 4 for me and my Ma........I try and talk to friends about it, and visit her grave side and talk with her, but sometimes nothing works and you just want a hug from your Mom......SH, I hope you find something or someone(s) that will sustain you thru this heavier than usual grieving time........

Losing Mother was one of my first and most hardest life's lesson in the natural order of things. Words can't express the pain and anguish that one feels when they lose their loved one's. For me, Mother was more than a mother, she was a friend, a champion, a confidant... someone who supported me, no matter what, but didn't waste time blowing smoke up my ass either. She was the first to call me on my shit, and the first to confront anyone else who tried to do so. That was her job lol.

I am so sorry for your loss. They say that time makes it easier. It doesn't. For me, all time has done, is allowed the times of pain, to be more interspersed with times of remembrance of the good times, the kindness she exhibited, the wisdome she sought and shared, her creativity, her love, her selflessness... her quirky odd as hell sense of humor... but there are days, still, when that day, that whole entire hellish nightmare, unfolds in my mind... and that knife to the heart, that fist to the gut is just as excruciatingly as painful as the day it happened. More so, because now, faces in that scene, are also missing.

I have been blessed/cursed with a memory like a steel trap. If I allow myself, or can't stop myself from going there... I can recall the ticking seconds, the scent of the hospital, fear of my family, the scent of death... in minute and horrific detail. Each detail bringing back the same pain they brought the day it happened.

No, time doesn't make it easier to accept or live with... time just allows the GOOD stuff to come in and take up more space in our minds, than the not so good stuff.

My prayers and thoughts are with you, Greyson.

Many here know that my sister, Betsy, died on July 31st of this year. She was the oldest of 11. Mother and Dad had 8 children, Dad went on and had 3 more with his second wife.

She was 51 years old and left behind two teenaged children.

Tomorrow, would have been her 52nd birthday. She was entirely too young to die! Mother died at age 53. On Sept.23 she will have been dead for 18 years. Sept is a hard hard month for me. I officially hate hospitals, especially Geissinger Danville. In that hospital, I stood at my Aunt Jane's death bed in ICU at that hospital She died of ovarian cancer that had already gone into her bones by the time she was diagnosed. Her death, from diagnosis to the end, was 4 days. I was discharged from that same hospital 3 months later and instead of going home, I was walked, by my brother, over to the ICU, where, the next day, I stood at the death bed of my brother in law who died of end stage scirrosis of the liver. I saw his wife, my sister, Betsy and his children, go through that hellish scene. Then this past July, we stood at Betsy's death bed. All of this happened in less than two years. I don't think I've even had the time to fully process my Aunt's death, because the death of my sister's husband, and then my sister, didn't give any of us time to fully process. It's just been one hit after another...

... and people wonder why I don't always wake up with a smile on my face.

Grief.

For me, and for mine, using my Mother's sense of humor....

"grief... it's what's for dinner."


What keeps me going?

Faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these, is love.


(a song we sang at my sister's graveside service)

God be with you till we meet again
By His councel guide uphold you
With His sheep securely fold you
God be with you till we meet again

Till we meet, till we meet
Till we meet at Jesus feet!
Till we meet, till we meet
God be with you till we meet again!

It is a very hard loss (f)

So many gone
 

I just sat here and read all 10 pages so many loved ones gone. I send prayers of comfort to all those grieving their losses.

I am about to turn 30 in a few months and it feels so much of my life has been dealing with death. I went to my first funeral at 2 years old and have attended more funeral services in my life than I am in years of birth. The hardest ones for me seem to be my Uncle and Cousin who committed suicide, so many unanswered questions and so much pain. I was close to both of them and it hurts so deep. Watching my cousin plan her wedding and her confiding in me that she feels so lost without her daddy tho its been 8 years the pain is still deep leaves me lost for words.

I am also grieving and having a very difficult time lately watching the shell of my grandmother who was always my best friend and rock. Tho she is still present in body she is not here. She suffered a massive heart attack 15 years ago and my grandfather who has been with her for 52 years has cared for her and couldn't let her go. The man surrounds his entire life around her care. I go over and help care for her anytime he needs me, never letting him know how much it hurts to see my grandmother but know she will never be the same. My family has made me the rock in so many ways and its hard even after 15 years I still find myself dreaming about all the things I wanted to share with my Grandma. It pains me that my younger siblings never had the chance to build a relationship with their grandparents as all have passed on besides our grandfather.

I recently attended the funeral for a childhood friends father who passed away from a life long illness. Knowing we are the same age and both my parents tho they are still young are not in good health makes my heart ache and scares me. This thread has been really good to read and sort my feelings. Thank you all for sharing your stories and grief, also your words of advice.

Still missing my dad who died suddenly four years ago and all hell broke lose in my life. I was a daddy's girl, the youngest child and only daughter and I loved him very, very much. We were so like-minded and he always stood up for me and helped whenever he could. Although he wasn't home much, the time we spent together, us two just talking and him listening, was so precious to me...He was such an unique person and had a great sense of humor, oh! how much we laughed together, where other people were shaking their heads at us for so much silliness...And how intelligent he was, with so much life experience and the little stories he told me of his journeys he had in this world. I always loved listening to them, although I've probably heard some a few thousand times before....

Right now I would need him and his advice more than ever...his love and care I could count on no matter what...

Gosh!..I love and miss him so much!!!...My life will never be the same ever again!

Thank-You Ms Tinkerbelly for this poem. My beloved sweet kind and good #1 cat son Scott Fitz got murdered by a loose pit bull today, and I could'nt find the words...


Sorry I never told you
All I wanted to say
And now it's too late to hold you
'Cause you've flown away
So far away

Never had I imagined
Living without your smile
Feeling and knowing you hear me
It keeps me alive
Alive

[Chorus:]
And I know you're shining down on me from heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day

Momma I never showed you
Assumed you'd always be there
I took your presence for granted
But I always cared
And I miss the love we shared

[Chorus]

Although the sun will never shine the same again
I'll always look to a brighter day
Lord I know when I lay me down to sleep
You will always listen as I pray

[Chorus]

Sorry I never told you
All I wanted to say[/QUOTE]