Oh comeon BD
 

I believe I made it clear these were MY ideals...not even trying to say they're right for you or anybody else..My life...MY ideals....

Where did you see me say that 50's FTM's are the "only ones with manners"?...Ok....out of here...wheh y'all decide to get back on topic I'll be glad to join in...till then....enjoy yourselves..>!

Oh & BTW...I'm not in to so called "guy stuff"...LOL...ask my ex ...<laughing So much at this cause you have no idea who I am or how I am>.....

Hmmm
 

Um I thought you were a gentleman like the kind in the 50's? Your wording here doesn't read at all like you have manners....


Enjoy your day.

Please don't speak to me like I am some dimwit that doesn't get what is what I believe I have explained what the issue is what seems like millions of times.

This assumption that Darbonaire was coming from a place of condescension is exactly the problem in this thread, and not just yours. Yes, you *feeling* that way matters a great deal. But it doesn't mean it's true. However, one cannot take this to task without also recognizing that the very complaint of some of the people who feel you have been harsh with them feel EXACTLY as you describe. They cannot find the single quote you ask for to prove that you have said something offensive. Darbonaire was not harsh - was simply explaining himself and trying valiantly to insert enough qualifiers to piss anyone off.

If you found this post offensive or irritating or condescending, you should understand very well why other's have felt the same about some of your posts.

I think the issue is multifaceted. And more than just Snow's. Even yours is convoluted and complex at this point.

I'm out, despite being on the periphery for most of it. I began by saying this is why I don't get involved. I've now reminded myself. This is the "Trans Zone" -
space IS needed for guys to be able to communicate honestly, even if they aren't feminists, even if they are struggling and getting things wrong while negotiating their way through incredibly physically, socially, and emotionally toxic waters. Femmes have their own issues but they will NEVER understand the steps along the way. Most are very compassionate and patient.

Basically, guys need their own space to be "assholes" (and I again re-assert that we are ALL assholes) and not be spoken to in the way that even Snow found condescending. So -in the next few days I or another member with whom I am talking will be setting up some kind of a space for this purpose. We need support, we are all not where we will be. We may be assholes, but we deserve the benefit of the doubt - especially in the "Trans Zone"

Hominid - human -humanist out. Feel free to pick out a phrase or a perceived tone or word and call me on the carpet now.

Well snow....again...THAT was a specific put down...no moderator I see.....LOL...amazing....guess YOU have some moderator given right to trash or insult or be opinionated at others but we can't voice opinions ....wow....

Oh brother
 

Hominid, have you read the TOS?


Just because you (general) are guys/FTM's doesn't mean you get to come in here and be assholes. I have provided part of the TOS:

This is a female-owned website based on Feminist principles. Please consider that when posting.
Any sexist, racist, anti-woman, hate-speech, sizist or ageist postings are unwelcome here.


I am a Leather Woman, I have thoughts and ideas too, but what I don't get to do is come in here and take a shit on those who aren't. It's ridiculous to think that just because you are in a Zone that you can act like you wanna.


Also, how Darbonaire is speaking to me, is gross. I get enough shit from cis gender males out in real time, last thing I want is to be treated this way in my safe space. Maybe if I was more submissive you'd be nicer and see things differently.

Doubt it
 

But you can "shit" on other's opinions ??? Woman space or not.....there was nothing anti-woman about any of my comments....."How Darbonaire is speaking to you," is polite & guardedly so...if that's 'gross" to you..that's on you & your interpertation not my delivery or intent.

How the hell do we start a new thread? I have been wanting to do that and don't know how? I mentioned it before and haven't found out or had time to forage for it.

So i ask...how can i start a new thread?

Here you go
 

http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/foru...171#post686171

Yo, guys.

Medusa spoke. Can we please just take a deep breath and chill for bit?

I kinda like this thread for reasons I mentioned in one of my past posts so I'd like it not to get shut down if possible?


Pretty Please,
Brute.

Hominid -

I deleted your message to give you the benefit of the doubt that you didn't see my moderation since it looks like you might have been typing as I was posting.

That will be the only pass I give in this thread to anyone.

All -Let the line of arguing drop or get a time-out.

I know i mentioned moderators in a past post...i honestly was not being snide or making a jab at any moderators here. I was speaking of the job. I personally could not do what they have to do.

I didn't know that if someone has an issue about what someone posts...then they should go to a moderator? So, moderators have to deal with that also? Ugh...

We are in the thread FTM and what attracks people to FTMs, yes?

" the rest had been snipped out based on Medusa's posting after I posted, etc.. out of respect "

heheh.. we love you Medusa! This scared me because I thought something was gonna be said about scariness! But it made me crack up too! :jester: :angry:


Everybody :readfineprint: :readrules:


I want candy!! :cherry: :chocolate: and not the time out kind.. :blush:

*snort* you just like your......um.....ego stroked!!!


ruffryder, you asked some great questions in your...last....i think....post. It's somewhere in here buried. I sure would love to see people's answers to those questions.


ETA: Nope, i totally lied. Not your last post. But it was one of your last posts. I can't find it dammit!!!!

:cigar2: :blush:


Likes Having Ego Stroked,
Brute.

back to topic. who got's some answers? :)

Ruff said this....
 

Have you been able to help FTMs with their journey in realizing, aligning, transforming, and how has it affected or changed them or yourself?

I would like to think so, but you'd have to ask them.

*grin*

My first FTM I dated did not lead to the best situation but it was definitely a learning situation. He wanted a straight woman and to leave the glbt2q3i world far behind and to completely sever all ties with it. THAT won't happen with me. After much thought and many tears, we split. Not hatefully but not amicably either. I haven't remained in contact with him so I'm not sure how it's going for him and what, if any, influence I had on him....other than to make absolute sure that he's got a woman who is straight or is willing to become straight for him.

I've since dated more appropriate (for ME) FTMs that did not want/need/demand that from me and we've managed to part on much friendlier notes. Again, you'd have to ask them what influence, if any, I had on them and their process.

Dunno for sure
 

Have you been able to help FTMs with their journey in realizing, aligning, transforming, and how has it affected or changed them or yourself?


The only thing I feel I can do is be an ally. Their journey is theirs so I am supportive, open to be an ear and I do not let their path deter me from mine. I am not sure if that's helped them but I hope they feel I was/am supportive of them. I have helped a few friends get resources in their area if they ask:)

I never said my life was unpleasant. I had a great childhood with a relatively functional family.

I saw as many bad manners and lack of a family time at dinner and lack of common courtesy etc among my friend's families as I saw among other friend's mannered families. June and Ward were not the norm in the 50's anymore than bad manners are the norm in the 21st century.

what attracts Me to FtMs ...
 

Strength - the fact a woman/man can transition into the masculine/feminine realm makes nature and nurturer incredible. We are acculturated to belittle each others potential as men and as women. Change is powerful, we all know a lava becomes a butterfly by an incredible journey, all transitioning FtM/MtF are metamorphic - mind, spirit and then body.

Sensuality - I can't help but to think of Hermaphroditus born to the gods of female and male sexuality - you are in touch with all that is intense and powerful when it comes to the carnal aspect of being human. Thus I bow my head to you, for you so gracefully walked between two lines. More so, I respect the integrity that comes from being both. It's exotic.

Beauty - we are always changing. We are always evolving. FtMs are like mirrors. We often see ourselves with one face. FtMs have experienced and touched both of their faces.

Relationships come from trust, love, respect, and integrity. Its not who, but how you love that matters. As long as we battle with issues of equality we will battle. When we no longer need to explain ourselves and defend our humanity, well, we will all be having a whole lot hot sex...Smiles...

Thanks for being who you are.

What attracts you to FtMs...
 

Bumpity bump... ;)

I find it very easy to talk to ftms, as we often have similar experiences.

What attracts you to FtMs...
 

Just a little Bump....

Kent you keep getting these bump thingy,s :| allergic to sumpin?

Happy Easter bro! :byebye:

What attracts you to FtMs...
 

C'mon ladies, tell us how you really feel and what you find attractive in the trans guys you date... :heavyweight:

FtMs
 

Firegal, hey.. Sorry I missed your Happy Easter greeting. Happy late 4th of July...

Warning: Girl swooning
 

Fuzzy Treasure trails down his stomach.....

Scars. For the all the life long battles he's fought. They are reminders of his strength and courage.

Kisses First when the door opens. Then "Hi" Then more kissing.

That impish smirk across his face, especially when you know he's thinking something evil.

Stubble. Across your silky skin in contrast to his roughness. Yum.

The smell of him on your skin when you're home in your own bed. Bliss.

His voice. Rawr.

His bookshelf. A book on his nightstand next to his glasses. *swoon*

I haven't had any ask me out, lately. :(

Strength. Strength of mind, heart, soul and conviction. It takes a lot of courage to be who you really are and in some instances, to even know who you really are. This is the trait I find most desirable in FTM's.

And then the list of how incredibly sexy they can be just continues on from there...

Mhmmmm

Up to this point I have only dated women but I am finding myself more and more attracted to energy, packaging is less and less important.

I agree with this ...

Enjoyed reading through some of these posts. Haven't finished yet, but plan to..lol Very interested in seeing more of what the ladies are attracted to about us.....

My guy
 

I have a notebook I am now convinced is magic. It's nothing special, just a plain college-ruled notebook from Target but several years ago I wrote down everything I was looking for in a dog, right down to the ridiculous little details, before I went to the animal shelter. (adult dog, blocky heady, floppy ears, short fur, 40-60 lbs, swimmer, snuggler, big smile, affectionate, house-trained, knows basic commands, will answer to "Annie Boots", etc) When I did go to the shelter my little girl was there! And her name was already Annie.

I used the same magic notebook to write down everything I was looking for in a partner, again, right down to the ridiculous little details. (taller/bigger than me, female born and masculine, chivalrous, tattooed, non-smoker, protective but not jealous, cowboy archetype, kinky, intelligent, dislikes children, loves dogs, pastry chef, etc.) Over time the list came to fill an entire page of the notebook. And it got left on a shelf and forgotten, until I met Oliver.

Six months after moving to Oakland I met a wonderful FTM guy. Our first date was drinks and then a walk around Lake Merritt. Our second date he made an amazing dinner. Afterwards he showed me how to make truffles...and outed himself as a pastry chef.

I was reminded of the notebook and checked it the next morning. He was ALL of the things, right down to the astrological sign.

Now Oliver and I have been together four months. I recently showed him the magic notebook and we used it to write down a detailed description of our dream home. (a dog-friendly old converted industrial loft in Oakland with enough space for him to throw epic dinner parties and for me to have a sewing workspace. Natural light, exposed brick, gas stove, etc)

So maybe the notebook isn’t *really* magic but it did show me just how powerful clarity, intention, ritual and instinct can be. And that might even be better than magic. :bouquet:

What I love about him and us
 

My guy is the cowboy archetype and I'm the absent-minded professor archetype.

He is a:
street smart
action oriented
stone and somewhat stoic
fiercely loyal
protective
physically skilled
risk taker

I am a:
book smart
quiet
quirky
head-in-the-clouds, lost-in-thought
creative
empath
who enjoys doing things slowly and deliberately

We balance each other really well. He spurs me to action when I might otherwise overthink and become immobilized. And I remind him to slow down and breath. He's calm in a crisis and I have ALL the feelings. But on the rare occasion that he has feelings that he needs to deal with he knows I'm a safe, non-judgemental person to come to. We both work with our hands and love to make things but as a chef his creative process is loud, fast-paced, improvisational and often collaborative. As a seamstress my creative process is a quiet, slow, deliberate, cerebral and solitary.

I wouldn’t be good at his life and he wouldn’t be good at mine but we have shared values that manifest in very different ways in accordance with our temperaments and I think that’s why we work so well. We understand each others values and motivations but since our shared values have very different outlets there’s an amount of space built-in to our relationship that allows for some breathing room and individuality. It also allows us to admire each other from a distance.

His gorilla hands and my bunny heart make an excellent team.

Where are you , ladies.
 

Bumping this thread. Would love to hear from the ladies.