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I went to Aldi's to shop today. You have to pay a quarter for a cart and when you return it and hook it back to the other carts it gives you your quarter back.
I go to the buggy area and put my quarter in and it wouldn't let me have a buggy but it let me have 2 buggies. I fought and fought with the buggy to try to get my quarter back so I could get a single buggy. A lady came up and she held one end of the buggies and I had the other end, at the same time we jerked the shit out of the buggies in opposite directions, all to no avail the buggies didn't come apart and I couldn't get my quarter back so I could get another buggy. The lady went on into the store and suddenly I realized I had stuck the quarter in the 2nd buggy not the first one that is why it gave me 2 buggies instead of one. DUH!!!! Did I feel like a dork or what? I went on inside and the lady saw me and said oh I see you finally got a buggy. I said yes Ma'am. She said how'd you get it? I told her and we both about wet the floor in the store. I raised up my bangs and said do I have STUPID written up there? |
Was standing in the checkout line at the pharmacy today. There is a guy behind me. His phone rings. His 'ringtone' is Oh shit, it's my wife..:sunglass: |
My sister asking My mom to turn on the xmas lights (yes our tree is still up), and then she tells My mom what to say back to her LOL
thats My sister for you :p |
hmm...don't think workers comp covers this...LOL
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Shad and I on our way to Best Buy after dinner.....hy gets over in "another lane" to turn right or pass a car, not sure, and it was "The Bus Stop." We laughed for long time, the guy beside us laughed too!
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I just watched the Frasier episode 11-03 "The Doctor is Out" wherein the director of the Seattle Opera (Patrick Stewart) mistakes Frasier for gay and courts him, It was HILARIOUS, I woke up the dog I laughed so hard.
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The song on youtube called "take my drunk ass home."
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A scrapbooking video called: "this is why my desk is a mess." It had a little dog playing with the owner in a tug of war with a scrapbooking flower on top of her desk.
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Last night after getting home from work... grin...
I had showered, changed into one of Mitmo's Bob Marly tshirt,a pair of paint stained sweats and christmas socks... I swayed into the living room, climed into her lap and announced... "I'm dressed to seduce you..." It made both of us just crack the hell up... |
Yesterday I fell horizontally with all my body weight on my left ribs, my legs went out from under me but lucky for me im large and have padding in a lot of places so nothing broke thankfully lol.....but large does go booooooom!!!
this morning i woke up and went and shoveled snow because its just kind of bruised but nothing major.... I was actually laughing after it happened because i must've looked like a total dooofus and you know when you trip its always kind of funny....its like im more embarrassed about looking like an idiot than getting hurt.. but my love took quite good care of me and im fine but it was a trip and fall for the record books lololol |
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The new wallpaper on my computer...:rofl:
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Sticker, upside down, across the back window of a Ford Explorer..... If you can read this, please flip me over. |
yesterday while working on Blaze's dog pen, Skippy followed me down there. He came running down there with his 8 pound chest bowed out and ran right up to Blaze's pen growling at Blaze. LOL yeah.. I went to the front and said what are you doin? Get your little butt back up that hill, go on! So he runs up the hill. Dang fool dog...Blaze could eat him in one bite and burp. But ole Skippy doesn't know he's only 7 or 8 pound he thinks he's 100 pounds.
THEN I get back in the pasture to work on the pen. All of a sudden I hear Skippy yap yap yapping and I look up and his 6 inch tall self is running fast as he can, kickin up leaves and rocks as he goes. Running toward the property line fence...there is a dirt road there. Barking to the top of his lungs....I look up and one of my neighbors is coming home from his afternoon walk....shakin my head I yell at Skip to get on the porch....I swear the little fart, as Sweet calls him, as he has matured he thinks he is 10' tall and bullet proof. It just cracks me up to see him acting like such a big shot. |
Next time you need a good comeback......
Sheldon Cooper to Leslie Winkle on The Big Bang Theory: "I'm polymerized tree sap and you're an inorganic adhesive so whatever verbal projectile you launch in my direction is reflected off of me, returns on it's original trajectory and adheres to you." Guaranteed to render the other speechless for a few. |
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A man walks into a Bar, {yes, a bar joke}, and the Bartender asks
-"What's your poison?" The man asks for 3 drinks..The bartender, slightly confused, asks -"Why 3? U're alone" -"I want 3" The bartender is slightly annoyed at this point.. -"Ok, but why?" The guy says -" One for me...One for u...And one for the Cunt u call Mom" Naturally the bartender beats him to a Pulp and kicks him out... 2 nights later, Same guy, same questions, the bartender glares when he asks for 3 again.. -"Why??" -" One for me, one for u, and one for the Whore u call Mom" Another asswhoopin', and a few missing teeth.... On the third time, the guy walks in bruised, bent out of shape, Slurring... -"I want 2 drinks" Now he's really confused... -"Why 2?" -"Every time I ask for 3, u always beat the fucking shit outta me....So, I want 2 drinks...1 for me, and one for the Bitch that gave birth to u" { sounds funnier in spanish :seeingstars: } |
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the ending is the best part! |
Still cracking up over that dang video...
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some of the comedy routines on AOL radio....:)
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The ding-dang cat ran up the wall and bounced off the ceiling!!! Bout scared herself to death. It was pretty funny...and she settled down for awhile after that. :blink:
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Being Teacher In Charge today while "Science Alive" came for a visit....Having to hunt and chase an armadillo that got lose and escaped the classroom :blink: LOL
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The girl jumping and grabbing my hand while at the movies...She actually made me jump once or twice LOL
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I am visiting my 81 year old Mother. Part of the morning ritual is sharing the newspaper over breakfast. One of the articles today was about the Fetish Convention held in downtown Providence this weekend complete with photos. Her response to it? "Hm, people are so much more adventurous in my day". Followed by, "didn't our german shepherd have a collar like that?" |
I drove past one of the local bbq restaurants today and saw that they had their Valentine message up on the board out front. It read "Pork the one you love". I almost hit the ditch laughing...lol
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My friend's blog about our favorite figure skater :-)
http://misfitmimes.blogspot.com/ http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fb...439.1699432147 |
someone telling me they didn't want my little boy cooties. ROFLMAO!!! Yes I'm still sick, but hopefully not still contagious, and spreading my little boy cooties around.
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This. :) :)
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This
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My eyes are big pumpking pies. :)
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As there are no real restaurants in our area, and no other jobs to speak of, I fill my days working as the office manager at a locally owned Tire / Auto Repair shop.
A woman drops off her daughters car ( she lives behind the shop) and I advise her to park it under one of the open shelters since it has the back window busted out of it, that way if it rains, it may help with any rain damage. ( Note: she was not scheduled to bring the car in until tomorrow anyway.) As she is giving me her keys to mark and hang on the key rack, she mentions that she locked one of the front doors, but couldn't reach the other door, asking if we would mind "locking it up because her daughter has a bunch of jewelry and stuff in there". I look at her rather perplexed, but offer an "em, yeah.... Ok?!" She smiles and leaves. The really nice well mannered lady in the waiting area has overheard all of this and is watching me as I watch the other lady leave and says " is she for fucking real??????" I about pissed cause that is exactly what was going through my head. " HEY LADY.. YOUR PIECE OF CRAP HAS NO BACK WINDOW!!!! WHY BOTHER LOCKING IT???" Anyway, that was my funny today. I just can't believe folks sometimes..LOL |
ahah
watching my 16 year old nephew try and ask a girl for a date...priceless...
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A post on a submissive group I belong to.. The lady was looking up whips on amazon... WHILE she was working at a library... on online chat with a customer answering a question on how to spell something...
YEP.. She sent the link for the whip instead of the word she was trying to spell. OOOPPSSS:blink:. |
I looked outside a few minutes ago and there were about a hundred birds swarming around our two bird feeders. I guess word got out, lol |
Jackhammer recounting her dream to me.
Jack: "Honey, I had a dream last night that Cinderella was helping me get on a ride so that I could get back to you" Me: "WHAT? Cinderella? Like a cartoon or a real Cinderella?" Jack: "A real one. She had a wand and everything" Me: "BWAAAAHHAAAAAAA. Babe, I don't think Cinderella ever had a wand, BWAAHHHAAAAAAAAAA" Jack, very seriously: "Well this one did" Me: Hysterical laughter Jack: "She was a really nice Cinderella" Me: More hysterical laughter Jack : "It's not funny, I was upset" Me, spewing coke all over the dining room. |
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Ami: (finish laughing) My mom called me Cinderella when I was young Corkey: Cinderellie Ami: Don't:| |
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