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sometimes, i feel stuck..
the healing process, and finding forgiveness.. it's all on my mind. |
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waking up in the morning to a smokeless future :|
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My friend, whom I've known since teens has sepsis and pneumonia. The pneumonia isn't clearing well. There are nodules in her lungs that are probably from rheumatoid arthritis. They obscure the x-ray. She will have bronchoscopy tomorrow, and plan to do savage, a washing out of cells. Oh God, this sounds so suspicious of cancer. Her daughter called me. Calls each day. I told her my fear. She was thinking the same thing.
I feel like I did in May, when I waited to finally hear of my sister's cancer. It is hard to breathe. But when I can do so deeply, I will go outside, stand in the middle of the street and scream. Yell to the universe., to G-d, to that Great Nothingness, "No can't have them yet. I won't let you. No." |
Why do so many shit things happen to the good people in our lives?
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How I wish it wasn't so impossible for me to share something of myself, to both love and hate the same thing in myself, and to not feel so trapped inside certain aspects of myself. Or perhaps I'm just growing tired of myself in general.
[/rant fueled by annoyance with self and general situation] |
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Employment.
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im remolding a kitchen and in dreading going into the crawl space un the house to re run some plumbing... i think theres critters under there.
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A special SuperDork is on my mind.
It's been a rough day all around for him. He needs hugs, kisses & capn crunch. Oh and a face rub. :gimmehug::ohm::lips: |
Thuddy.
for starters. |
The same thing that's been on my mind for a couple of weeks. The job market in Asheville. It doesn't look too impressive right now. Hoping if I keep an eye on it between now and next summer, surely something in my field that pays enough to support us will come up. :vigil: I just also need the timing to work out too. 'Cause The Boy has to finish school.
A |
Asheville is an awesome city and I would give almost anything to move there!!! Good luck with your job search!
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What's on my mind ?
I don't think there's enough room on the site for me to list everything that's running around in my head this week. :blink:
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wanting to play, instead of work. that's what's on my mind :o
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Nude paintings....
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since I doubt anyone thread stalks me; I will have to do it myself
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I would tell You that I stalk You, but then You'd go and get all maniacal on me..... :eyebat: |
And....
...thinkin' that huevos snipping isn't all that serious to a kitteh.....
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finding some where to cheap to move into so my family quits complaining
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I think if I stood next to shaq o'neal he wouldn't be able to see me through the clouds
there really isn't any proportional equation to relate the differences in heights although I suspect our resident math genius would know one...I would not understand it...but, I would trust her implicitly... my brain on endorphins... |
miners
I've been following the rescue of the miners in Chile. What a wonderful story. Except the stories of the sleeze balls who are cheating on their wives. They should be left in the mine to rot if you ask me.
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I get to watch How to Train Your Dragon tonight!
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how well i did today - started the day off with a brisk walk, i've eaten well all day, drank lots of water, and even had a work out tonight - i feel so great! |
x37b
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OMGoodness...
She really IS a witch!!! (And not Glinda the good witch, the one the house fell on - that we really didn't get to know, 'cause we didn't need to.)
(And where's MsD when I need her brilliance in wit on this "debacle of a debate"? Hint...) *And why do I keep thinking of Wendy the Whiner from SNL...? Hmmm? :| :jester: |
My Momma...I am really missing her.
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The Weekend :rrose:
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Because an adjoining apartment's water heater decided to explode, flooding my dining area,
i'm on Day 3 of this MONSTER of a dehumidfier & fan blowing so loudly i can't hear a dang thing. The weather outside is pert near perfect, but because it rained last night i can't have the doors & windows open. Thank goodness for headphones & my music!! :listening: |
My list is too long...
Being told that they want to "talk about" my right breast and get more views taken after my recent mammogram...
Knowing that I still have a blood test ahead of me (needle phobic that I am) and dreading it... Wishing that we could finally close on this house so I could get moved and get my things out of storage... Hoping that my son is making friends at his new school...I've heard about a few that seem nice and that he talks to, but he doesn't feel like he can invite over since he has no room, none of his stuff, and is essentially camping in the living room... Wondering if we should try to trap our gone-feral kitty... since I've seen him twice now and know where he is...but is he better off and happier with us or without us? I wish I could read his mind... And then all the little stuff...missing my nail salon (okay, I know, but I do!), debating about letting this grey hair grow out after all, and just wanting/needing to sleep, sleep, sleep... My head is swimming.... :blink: |
I did! I did! I did watch How to Train Your Dragon last night and it was AWESOME!!!
I also saw trailers for Tangled, out on the 24th of November. I think the idea of a continuation of the story of Rapunzel, coupled with the addition of a charming chameleon is fantastic! I may or may not be a fan of animated flicks. |
drinking hot chocolate with whole milk and whip cream
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Two things are on My mind tonight: first is the fact that I finally get My first T shot tomorrow and I couldn't be happier about it; second is the fact that I am reconnecting with someone and it feels great :)
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Today a very dear friend broke down and told me she has been struggling with severe depression for some months now. The last couple of years have been extremely difficult for her. She was diagnosed with breast cancer and had to pay out of pocket for surgery, treatment, meds, etc. because she had no insurance. Then changing jobs in the middle of treatment because her boss retired and closed the office.
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I think there's a road trip in my near future....
On my way to Floyd, VA to visit Blue Ridge Yurts, I'll stop by a friend's house to drop off a special piece of Fireking ;) :cheesy: . After enjoying their company and some yummy coffee, it's off the Blue Ridge Yurts to daydream and pick out which Yurt that I can start saving and making plans for. YAY!! I'm so excited that I found a Yurt manufacturer/sales office so close to home!! Even if it's just to go to daydream. And the prices are so reasonable... especially compared to the pre-fab homes/buildings I looked at today. I can't wait for my road trip!! http://www.blueridgeyurts.com/index.php |
The past three days
with you. Today with out you What is to come. Sleep....that seems to be far away |
-♦- How'm I gonna find candy for old folks with at least 3 conditions that forced 'em into Dialysis.....???
-♦- 250 + Channels {including Premium/Spanish}, a decent DVD library , and yet... nothing to watch !!!!! -♦- Do I wanna spend my meager check on iBooks...? -♦- I really really need Glasses. |
Colorado Children The effects of the past on the future Time April Holding slippery words with a wet tongue Mistakes No regrets Outer thinking Numbing silence .....colorado |
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I. Want. Sugar. :| |
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