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Cracked my self UP
Beasley did find this amusing today, but while we were at the grocery store I would hide behind displays and then jump out at people and yell, "Peek-a-boo!".
I cracked myself up everytime I did it. |
Turned out my date today was an ex-nun. I asked her what she thought the per cent of nuns were lesbian. She said, "80-90%".
I said: "Seriously?" She said: "Well, based on the number I slept with in my order, that is". Cracked me up! |
...and, apparently, CBS deleted the jokes about Mr. Bachman
funny but sad in a way
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Ellen's Thoughts on 'The Virgin Diaries'
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I didn't feel like going to town tonight after busting my butt all day, so I asked Blade to pick up something I had forgot when we were in town, cleaning out the storage shed... he called from the store...
"what color are they?" Me: :blink: :blink: that wasn't a question I expected |
The Grover Near Far video...I'm still chuckling over that one.
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A Swedish Chef video posted here today...with pumpkins becoming pies...OMG...cracked me up and made me feel infinitely better (home with cold tonight...sigh) Still smiling though! :)
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Check...check and check! Will do! Thanks Scuba! |
My 6 year old great niece at her Birthday Party today, telling me all about Justin Bieber....what a crack up, she was telling me about his shoes, lol.
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The Massachusetts DMV no longer issues renewal notices for drivers licenses. Same might be true for professional and trade licenses as well. Apparently they feel if you are old enough to drive and have a career, you are old enough to remember to renew your licenses. Drivers licenses are renewed every 5 years; trades and prof every 2 years. It is a cost cutting measure. But I wonder how much revenue is lost when people forget? I cant remember what I had for breakfast. |
Jimmy Kimmel - I gave my kids a terrible present
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Flashback to last years Christmas party, when a coworker informed me that the dish she brought to the pot luck, was mac & cheese made with breast milk !!!
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Exactly why I dont like to eat stuff that I dont know who cooked it or how clean their kitchen is.....ewwwwww no thanks I want to know what I'm eating :(
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When I was a kid I had to get a job (this was before the child labor laws) and work overtime to make money for xmas. I had to walk to it uphill twenty miles both ways in the dark through snow and freezing rain, and then I had to buy my own presents and buy the wrapping paper and wrap them myself. And it had to be stuff we needed around the house like hamburg and rice and comet cleanser. And I always said thank you when I unwrapped them. What's wrong with kids today. |
Yes, this is old, but I just came across it today and it did crack me up!
"Best man left bleeding after being hit in head by flying dildo" February 12, 2011 by Richard Farmer The Northern Territory News once again has staked its claim for Best Headline of the year! Entertainment for Peter Rolih’s pre-wedding party was inspired by that famous scene of the woman expelling the ping pong balls in the comedy film The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. But this time the projectiles were not little celluloid objects but something rather more solid. And when the scantily clad exotic dancer performed her party trick – shooting dildos at the guests from her private parts, best man Darwin architect Jure Skumavc, 31, found himself in the firing line. As the Rupert Murdoch ownedNorthern Territory News reports this morning, Mr Skumavc was injured by the bullet-shaped, pink, sex toy – measuring about 12cm in length. Mr Skumavc was still sporting a scar on his forehead at Mr Rolih’s wedding nearly three weeks after being dinged by the artificial dong. Mr Skumavc said about eight other friends joined Mr Rolih for the party. He said the pink projectile was flying an impressive 7m across the room and looping about 2m high. “It wasn’t a strong shot (when it hit me in the head),” he said. “It probably just landed on an awkward sort of angle.” “She was shooting it through the room from one corner to the other,” he said. “Other people got it in their chest and knees. I was the only one bleeding. It was my turn and it landed straight on my forehead. “She started apologising straight away but I just said it was fine … then I touched my forehead and there was blood." |
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:blink: I have to say that it's a good thing that brat of a boy calling his parents stupid and that last boy aren't mine. They would never say shit like that again, I assure you. However...today, I was talking with the daughter of a long time customer and we were talking about her parents losing the keys to their lock and she said, "They're old. They shouldn't have keys" and it just cracked me the Hell up because we'd been discussing what her dad and his brother....a couple of sixty somethings....were doing when they lost the keys and it just rubbed my funny bone. |
This guy at work always calls me a freakin' hippie. Today he named me Moonflower..lol. That really cracked me up. :peacelove:
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i got out of bed this morning to make sure my son got his pills.... just in time to watch him walk back through the back door... in boxer briefs and his coat... holding the key to the shed... and a truly disappointed look.... he couldn't get the shed door unlocked to see the christmas presents... that cracked me up.
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Last night...
Being razzed by few people last night.
Being asked a few hundred questions about her. The bantering amongst friends. Being conned into going to a bar because it was someone's birthday Bumpah. Her laughter when I was telling her a few things on the phone outside the restaurant. |
this tweet:
----01/06/2012
I support Gay Sex and Abortion because I'm for anything that prevents another Rick Santorum from coming into this world. |
Fotoshop by Adobé
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Betty White’s Off Their Rockers
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I texted a femme friend today with photos of an '04 Chevy Avalanche 4x4 . It is candy color blue, awesome mudgrips - lifted to the sky. I test drove it. Anyway, she texted me back and all she said was something to the tune of how happy she is for me because she knows I am really enjoying my day off with this truck.
She then proceeded to describe how she is into a movie marathon today, etc. ... not one single comment about this beautiful truck. I sent her another text and asked her what did she think of the truck and be honest ... if she thought it was ugly and hated it, then just say it. I received a text back shortly . She said, "it's a pretty truck." I was sitting in my truck when I read her one little comment about this sensational vehicle. For a couple of minutes, all I could do was gaze out the window dumbfounded. Then it registered. LOL! Guess with all my excitment, I was a little slow. I really had a good laugh. |
The local newspaper published an article on "some of the worst analogies written by high school students". These are amusing yet also kind of sad. Hope these kids dont have to take the MAT's.
http://bethanyamandamiller.wordpress.com |
Showing that smug avatar in Just Dance 3 for wii the definition of pwnd.
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Cracked me right up :)
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Thanks RN
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The look on my manager's face when a staff member pipes up to correct a young reporter: "Herman Cain dropped out of the race." ... :| ... (How did they not know that?!!!)
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Well, ummm, yay?
http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7172/6...e1d386701a.jpg hotlips by Unleashed Image, on Flickr |
The pup howling at me for the first time yesterday morning. She seems to do this when she is excited.
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The internet, it cracks me up on so many fun and scary levels!
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When she fell to the floor and pretended to faint because pancakes would not be appearing at that very moment just because she brought me the box of bisquick. And as if I would feed her bisquick pancakes. Followed by her strict supervision of my pancake making cause I was going so slow. Child...you kill me.
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Yesterday, one of the blokes at the Disabled Arts Studio started dancing to the music that was playing….to say he was dancing like your Dad at a family Wedding was an understatement! LOL! He had his thumbs up in the air and said: “This music’s got a good beat!” I was struggling to breathe I was laughing so hard! LOL!
It reminded me of the Angel episode “I Don’t Dance.” I affectionately say anyone who dances like this as having gone to the ‘Angel School of Dancing’, lol! |
Gets me everytime
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