The person I was working with today. Really!? never worked with someone who looked or acted so unprofessional in my entire career. I wonder how these people don't get weeded out of the field... very interesting. Needless to say, I did crack up!

Don't blame Serge, he had a traumatic childhood.

Hearing someone say, "squat and cough" (and not like you'd think.) I swear my sense of humour belongs to someone who's 8 years old and male.

Femmsational and I were watching a new game show called Total Blackout.

Purpose of show is playing on people's fears and phobias by having them compete in complete darkness. One of the contestants was this hilarious gay guy who just had us laughing until it came time for the contestants to rely on their sense of smell to guess what the "object" is.

He slides the little slot back, takes a huge sniff and goes...."Ooooo I know this one!"

.............It was a man's ass.......ROTF!!!!!

And yes, he finally guessed it right. lol.

First grade boy says to me... "what happened to your lips?"
Me: that is lip gloss.
first grade boy: "oh, and what happened to your eyes?"
me: "eye shadow. it is make up and it is normal sometimes."
first grade boy: "well it is new on you."

LMAO!!!


The Brutal One just got home from 5 days on the road. First time in....7 years....I think, that we've been apart that long. First thing he does is hug me and then we start talking. I notice that his eyes are much lower than normal. Like not looking at my face. So I ignore it thinking that his neck is probably sore from driving. He goes to change and comes back out of the room and walks through the living room, once again he's talking.......to somewhere lower than normal. I still think, eh, maybe he's just tired and doesn't realize what he's doing. Couple minutes later, we're in the kitchen getting pizza. Brute reaches for the plate I'm handing him and this time there is NO mistaking where he's looking. LMAO!!! I totally called him on it and it embarressed the heck outta him.


So what cracked me up is that obviously when we are apart for a period of time, he reverts back to a 13 year old boy going through puberty. LOL~~~


Still cracking up!!!



julie

Erm........... Okay, okay..........YES! I was staring at them alright?!

How was I supposed to know that being gone for 7 days would cause me revert back to being a 13 year old boy going through puberty?!?!?!


Oh Yes They Are Good To Look At,
Brute.

Now these cracked me up today, lol!

This:
http://www.regretsy.com/2012/05/12/w...family-tithes/

this
 

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net...18499206_n.jpg

:huhlaugh:

Not sure if I have already put this in here sometime in the past ( I don't think so) but I'm too lazy right now to look and it's too early to care sooooo....

This woman walks into an ice cream shop and asks... :rofl:
woman: can I have a chocolate cone?
attendent: we don't have any.
woman: oh. can I have a cup with a scoop of chocolate then?
attendent: we don't have any.
woman: well, then can I have a mix of chocolate and vanilla?
attendent: *deep frustrated sigh* do you see the "straw" in strawberry?
woman: uh huh?
attendent: do you see the "van" in vanilla?
woman: yes!
attendent: do you see the "freak" in chocolate?
woman: there is no freakin' chocolate!
attendent: THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU!! :pointing:

Have a nce day... and don't be pissin' off the ice cream attendent today!! :superfunny:

reading my Here & now post and realizing i used Cowboi's answer for where i was leaving for :blink: :cracked:

reckon i need to pay closer attention!

I was on the phone with my mom, trying to get her the tech support number for Kindle. I gave her the number then said, "Hey, they have an option to call you. Would you rather me have them just do that?"

She said, "ok, hang on a second." Then "yells" to my kids who are visiting her, "Guys, where is my phone? I need my phone, I am expecting a call."

I hear my oldest saying, "um, Meme, you are talking on it."

~giggling begins~

:sparklyheart:

A facebook status from a friend and response from her mom... :rofl:

status reads: pooped. shower and then bed. work at 5.
mother: we do not need to know when you go poop! that is kinda personal.
friend: I wasnt saying that I need to poop people. lol Im saying that I'm tired. lol
:cracked:

I went with my daughter and grandson (2.5yo) to sibling class at the hospital. There were six other kids and various other sidecicks (parents, etc) along for the ride....

Nurse: Julain how old are you?
Julian: Seven!!
:rofl:

Shitmydadsays
 

"These candidates are bullshit, all you're doing is picking out the dick that's going to fuck you"!

So many things...
 

....goofy pups wrestling and racing

...teasing Snack about ice cream :cheesy:

...Rooster's perennial silly sense of humor

...ridiculous statements

...colleagues on a conference call hamming it up

A Kenmore
an Amana
now a Whirlpool ....at least this one comes with a four month warranty
:seeingstars:

A line in a movie ...
"Don't yank on it, it's not your pecker!"

This:

I walked out to the garage to see what Jackhammer was doing this afternoon and she says:

"In my 46 years on this Earth, I've never had a naked woman in my garage."

And then she kept asking me to pick stuff up. :|

Watching Shaun of the Dead. So funny! One of my favorite movies:)

What cracked me up today...??
 

Posting on my facebook status that I was having a conversation with my surgeon about a third knee surgery and how we both agreed that it would be wise to take time and assess my thoughts, weigh the pros and cons. Then a friend of mine puts on there that I should seek some wisdom from my physical therpaist who is a new friend of mine since I started PT with her the first surgery and continued our friendship now beyond the second surgery. She's also on my facebook.

So anyway, my physical therapist/friend responds that she'd love for me to stop by to discuss what exactly it is the doctor plans to do. I replied that I'd like to stop by for a visit by saying, "Call me crazy but I actually miss that place... lol... and you of course..."

Her response, "Yay...I miss ya too. You always take a nice beating with a smile."

I swear I don't share my kinks on facebook!! Guess I'm just an obvious kinky bastard even outside the bedroom... Ahahahahaaaaaaaa :rofl:

this should have taught me NOT to check incoming text messages while I'm driving....especially through several storms...
I had to re-read something twice for it to sink in...
I got reprimanded for using the wrong pronoun to refer to a fish :blink::blink:

apparently, this :fishswim: went through an identity journey over the course of 3 incoming text messages... first "her", then "him" then, after I responded once, the reprimand stated this pishie pishie prefers to be referred to as "hym"... :blush:

something a friend of mine posted on facebook about a conversation between her and her son.

Her to her son: I'm pooped.

Her son: you pants?!

Her to her son: no i'm pooped means i'm drained. I'm pooped.

Her son: where?!

:rofl:

Seeing daisy's face pucker after trying a BIG swig of cold KEDEM Grape and Pomegranate and not liking it at all. I laughed so hard I almost had to post in June's "What made you Whiz Today" again!

~SAB

That was just to funny.!!.

Caught an on demand episode on HBO called Girls. Watched the episode called Vagina Panic...it is a grotesque riot.

I LOVE COOKIES! MMMM!