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Headache, sore throat, lower back hurts....
I can't afford to get sick.... and I don't have time for this. Especially if I get "THAT call"! But I just might be tempted to curl back up for a little while longer in my fuzzy Pink Panther bathrobe and Eeyore pjs. After that, I gotta get busy and run to town. |
Family
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a certain visitor, im expecting today
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Nothing nor no one is going to ruin the great mood I am in.. that started with some good news yesterday.. things are moving along now just as I wish them to in that area of My life. I will allow nothing nor no one to stand in the way of that. 2011 is going to be a wonderful year !!!
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Bowl of hot chocolate oatmeal!
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It seems silly really, but I'm crying tonight. Shedding tears I didn't know I had. My life has not been easy, but I know it has by no means been hard. I heard a theory about that once... maybe its true. Someone once told me I had a gift, that I was blessed to bring comfort to others and that I had to endure pain to be able to see it and release it in them. They told me that with this gift came others. That because I know pain I can see it... I can hear what causes strife in those around me. Clairvoyance, they called it. And I can. I can look at a person, talk to them, and see what sorrows them. I can see what brings them joy and what hardships they have endured.
I'm not so sure it is a gift, sometimes I believe it a curse. Tonight I sit, thinking of my own path, and my own future and I am flooded with these images I have seen. Hurts done to others... and I cry. I cry for the child beat bloody hiding in a closet from a mother's rampage. I cry for the lover sitting at the edge their partners bed as they die in pain of cancer. I have seen these things and so many others through the eyes of those I love, those I care deeply for, and I cry. May my tears bring just one moment of eternal justice for the wrongs done to so many. |
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A bedsheet, a pond, a camera and a pair of sparkly red pumps!
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My brother Peter did a 40 second video on FB of the snow coming down in Vegas
Can we say this is what global warming looks like :| |
The industrial (r)evolution of Britain :|
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today i start school and im really excited but scared
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Wishing we didn't have to take down the Christmas decorations. It makes the Pup so sad. She does love Christmas!
Glynn |
Maybe I can make this work?
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I'm a beastie tonight. Omnivorous. Bleeding. Bloated.
And I'm texting pics of my wedding dress to friends. I'm complex. :blink: |
How fortunate i am to be surrounded by the love and support of friends and lovers.
i'm entering new territory for me, and it's kinda scary but exciting too. Trying very hard not to mess everything up, but keeping in mind that i'm not perfect and i will make mistakes. One Day at a Time, right? :cigar2::hippie::caveman: |
What could be...What isn't...What will never be....Why I opted to eat some Nutella for dinner, rumbling in my tummy for real food....What to eat???....You know, the important stuff, the not so important stuff, and then some!
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I smell vinegar and cant find out where it is...
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On my mind--
-The new floor and door that are being installed this week. So excited! -The neverending worry about paperwork and stuff to get done for work. -My daughter starting grad school and how awesome that is. -The great rapport I have with my exhb's fiancee' and how I think she is in for trouble with him. -That I paid my bills today, and how much I truly love being able to pay my bills. -The "Gratitude Journal" I decided to start. Thinking that I should start it already. :) |
Thinking about the past, present and future
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Watermelon. Watermelon is on my mind tonight. Whether you believe in a Supreme Being or evolution, something special happened when that little seed was created. Just looking at it from the outside you know it's some kind of special because it's striped. Think of all the cool things that are striped - tigers, zebras. Hmmm that's all that I can think of that's striped. Well my dog is striped and I've always thought that was really cool! But a striped fruit is really cool anyway.
I always wonder how someone discovered it and decided it was ok to eat. Did they just happen upon it? Did they pick it up and thump it, hearing that somewhat hollow sound? Can you imagine what they thought when they broke it open to find the red meat of it? And some daring soul tried it. And you just know that lucky ole fool was the villiage/clan/whatever? hero for finding that shit! I know what would have happened if I had discovered it, I would have ate the whole damned thing cause you know they didn't have sweets back in that day. Watermelon had to be the chocolate/ice cream/snickers of that time. (And yes I listed Snickers as it's own food even though it has chocolate just because it has that noughuty shit and it really does satisfy.) I mean those peeps didn't even have pies back then cause they 1)didn't have processed sugar and 2)they didn't have ovens. Today a watermelon is a staple for cookouts and picnics. But back in the day it was a blessing for a good growing season. Can you imagine knowing the sweet goodness of a watermelon and then having to wait months for it to grow??? I'd never make it back then. "I want some watermelon. What? I have to wait four months for it to grow? WTF??? OK, I'll take some ice cream. What do you mean you have no ice??? OK, I'll take a Mt Dew. What? I have to walk 8 miles to the nearest store??? Ummm, I'll just drive. What you don't have a car? I have to either walk or ride a horse?" Yeah, I don't think so!!!!! I'll just throw some ice and my watermelon in my cooler and drive to the lake - thank you! But really, think how cool watermelon is. When you slice it, does it not automatically remind you of a smiley face???? :) And unless you cut it into little pie slices, that sweet watery goodness is going to drip down your face and onto your shirt making a sweet mess. And probally the coolest thing about watermelons is you can spit the seeds out and it is socially acceptable. I simply can't eat a big ole piece of watermelon without being transported back to being a kid. You don't see too many adults eating big ole pieces of watermelon though. No, they must have gotten tired of wearing the watermelon juice and came up with 'fruit salad'. Fruit salad is good shit though, no denying it. But it''s always better with those little marshmallows. I honestly have no idea how someone came up with marshmallows or what is in them but DAMN, give that person a ribbon! And now that I'm thinking about the discovery of fruits, imagine the unlucky bastard that discovered the radish. Now I know it's not a fruit and I really like radishes, but it's red. So imagine some poor fella finds a radish and you know it's a bit of a shock to his taste buds. It looks sweet - but noooooo it's not. In fact it's got a bit of a kick to it. And without ranch dressing - hmmmm maybe not one's favorite food. So then the poor fella finds a strawberry. Hmmmmm, it's red too. So he talks or grunts or whatever his (and I say his but it may have well been a her - just saying) best pal into trying it. Of course the strawberry is a smash and his pal is the clan's strawberry hero and he's the radish zero. Or.... perhaps even worse! He finds the strawberry first, then finds the radish. And you know he'd be all fucked up over finding the apple! - Is it sweet or what? Which leads me to finding lemons, limes and oranges. I mean what if the guy had been on a roll. He found the watermelon and the strawberry. Then he finds oranges and tangerines. YUM YUM YUM!!!!!! And the guy is elevated to clan superhero level. And then he finds a lemon. It's so pretty and it smells sooooo good. And then he bites into that sonofabitch! Poor bastard. But ya know let's face it, the lemon came into itself with lemonade and sliced lemon in water and of course lemon marange pie. ;) ~~~shark~~~~~~~~ |
A craving I have...one that goes beyond being simple...causes my body to break out in a field of goosebumps and chills by just the mere feel of my cold sheets over my skin....A craving that makes my back arch to the heavens...makes my breathing and heartbeat betray me and reveal just how vulnerable I am....*sigh*
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How emotionally draining my job can be sometimes. Got a call around 10p from law enforcement en route with a potential client. She refused medical treatment eventhough she is bruised and bloodied, from being dragged through the house by her hair, being choked and hit, and being thrown headfirst over a banister railing to the ground below. Her scalp bleeding from where a baseball size chunk of hair was physically ripped out, and covered in cuts literally from her forehead to the top of her foot from her sword-wielding batterer. The same batterer who previously broke her shoulder, and has previously landed her in shelter numerous times in the past 9 years. She was beyond hysterical, terrified, and in a lot of pain. I sat with her, smoked with her, talked with her and cried with her. The really sad part...she wants to go home and see if he will "cuddle" with her. I hate this part of my job. I know the mentality so I understand why they think they want to go back, or have to go back. But I don't understand why they don't seem to see the danger. Too many have went back. And too many have came out in body bags. In my office we have a pair of purple shoes for every domestic violence fatality victim in the state of NC. I don't want this lady (nor any other person) to become another pair of purple shoes... :(
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that I am doing well, content, looking forward to the future while enjoying the moments now.
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(((((dixielady))))) Yes it can be very draining at times. I work with these folks too. It's extremely difficult to sit back and watch someone return to their batterer. Having escaped a similar situation nearly 30 years ago, I understand far too much and far too well. Sadly we cannot make anyone do what they are not ready to do and leaving this can be more terrifying for them than the situation itself. Hang in there.
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An appointment this morning
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I'm sitting here drinking my coffee and checking out the gallery and saw a picture of a delicious cooked turkey. Odd at this hour to now be craving some of that which doesn't go well with coffee. Why couldn't I have craved something else like donuts or fresh baked muffins?
I'm such a freak...A FREAK I TELL YOU! :blink: |
My job interview on Friday. I am scheduled for a fifteen minute slot, and according to what the lady said today:
"Whoever I hire in the interviews today will start their orientation tomorrow." I will either be hired or passed after this interview on Friday, with orientation starting ASAP. There are 17 positions available, so I'm not too worried. Kind of annoyed my father is trying to talk to me out of it though. This new job would be: full-time, $300-400/week, nights & weekends, 20 mins from house My current job: part-time, $380-450/biweekly, majority nights and weekends, 10 mins from house Even if this new job doesn't give me a higher hourly rate based on my past experience in a call center (and with almost 6 years now of providing customer service, whether in person, over phone and by e-mail), it's still full-time. And out of retail. Am I missing something that makes this new job worse than my old? |
that 2011, will be a year of new friendships, reclaiming old friendships, honesty, forgiveness, and having fun, because life has been put on hold far too long.. i've made a list of 10 new years resolutions that i will follow by and it will in turn give me more esteem, make me feel my worth, enjoy the wonderful people in my life & help me feel FABULOUS!
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Trying to get dinner ready and tend to the dogs with their whims constantly it ain't easy I tell ya....have to go check the eggplant should almost be done...
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Words of wisdom from my best friend :) This year will be a great one cause I deserve it :)
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It's almost time to take it down for the night just watching tv and getting into jammmies for the night...
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the wait. its like having patience, in which i have none :|
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my interview tomorrow.. boi is delaying hys drive to NJ for drill this weekend until after it, and i even persuaded hym to come with me to said interview and wait for me.
lucky, blessed girl :praying: i hope this job is what i want so i don't have to turn it down! |
I wish I could sleep.....
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This evening I began the search. The search I have been waiting for since I before I entered grad school numerous years ago. This evening I learned that the application process is open for FY 2011 for National Health Service Corps. I wasn't able to start anything until I got my independent licensure (which means I can have my own practice). What does all this mean? I need to decide where I am willing to move to in order to work in a mental health practitioner shortage area. Then try and get employed there. Then complete the application process and hope the federal government approves it. Essentially I have to find a job, accept it, and move there within 60 days of turning in my application to the gov't. There is no guarantee that they will approve it, but they have approved all applicants since the beginning of Bush's second term due to the shortages. I am just glancing at stuff and I am already overwhelmed. I can pretty much move to any state I want (including Hawaii) and including some US Territories. Most of these places will pay my moving expenses. My lease doesn't end until August. I have to make at least a 2-year commitment.
Sooooo much to think about. :seeingstars: |
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Honestly, though. Providence is SUPER RAD. |
the torture that is *the baby shower*
only marginally more insipid and annoying than the bridal shower. i've made a career of avoiding them. now i have to bloody organize and host one. :| |
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