5 Exercises for a Better Sex Life
 

5 Exercises for a Better Sex Life

Any physical activity can improve your sexual health. But a few exercises are especially beneficial.

https://i.postimg.cc/d1MF1Y1g/26-SEX...ISES-jumbo.jpg
Image Credit: Sara Andreasson

By Danielle Friedman, April 27, 2024

As far as your muscles are concerned, sex is just another workout. And like most workouts, the more conditioned you are, the more enjoyable it can be.

Yes, you can train for sex.

“It’s important to remember that sex is movement, and it’s exercise,” said Debby Herbenick, director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at the Indiana University School of Public Health. If you want to have satisfying sex, she said, you’ll likely benefit from moving your body outside of the bedroom.

If you’re happy with your sex life, a regular fitness habit can help to ensure your body continues to function properly. If you feel like your sex life could be more satisfying, exercise may help with erectile dysfunction, pain with penetration and low sex drive, among other issues.

Regular physical activity can also help you become more self aware. “You learn to listen to your body,” Dr. Herbenick said, “and then you can carry that wisdom over to your sexual life.”

While pretty much any workout routine can improve sex over time, a few specific types of movement can be especially helpful for sexual function and enjoyment, depending on your needs and physical ability. Here are five exercises that experts in sexual health and fitness recommend.

Work in bursts of high intensity cardio.

Your cardiovascular health directly impacts your sexual health, and not just because sex can sometimes be vigorous and aerobic, Dr. Herbenick said.

The cardiovascular system powers two bodily systems that are important for sex: erections and vaginal lubrication. Without proper blood flow, one will likely have trouble achieving or maintaining either, she said. Research also suggests that, for some people, aerobic exercise itself can stimulate arousal.

If you don’t already do aerobic exercise, begin by establishing a solid cardio baseline through regular, moderate-intensity activity, said Darlene Marshall, a personal trainer in upstate New York who has helped clients train for better sex.

Then, once you can comfortably walk or jog at a “conversational” pace for about 20 minutes, add intervals of high-intensity effort, she said — to train for the bursts of exertion sex can require. Depending on your fitness level, running or cycling sprints, brisk stair climbs or high intensity interval training are all good options.

Do Kegels — correctly.

The health of your pelvic floor, the hammock of muscles that sits at the base of the pelvis, can make the difference between a gratifying sexual experience and a lackluster or even painful one — for women and men — said Janelle Howell, a pelvic floor specialist in Chicago. Between 10 and 20 percent of women in the United States report pain during sex.

When your pelvic floor muscles are weak or tight, you may not experience as powerful an orgasm. Tight pelvic floor muscles can also make penetrative sex painful. Healthy pelvic floor muscles need both strength and flexibility to be able to contract and fully release on command.

Kegel exercises, which mimic the effort of holding and releasing urine or gas, can be an effective way to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, Dr. Howell said. The key is to make sure that after every contraction, you fully relax the muscles — something many people don’t do properly.

For women, Dr. Howell suggests imagining an elevator slowly going up, then slowly going all the way back down to the ground floor, to ensure the muscles fully release. For men, tighten your pelvic floor muscles, hold for three seconds, then fully relax for three seconds.

If you have a tight pelvic floor, experts advise skipping the Kegels and focusing instead on diaphragmatic breathing, which can help to relax and lengthen the muscles. (A pelvic floor physical therapist can offer a full assessment.)

Limber up your hips.

Most people spend hours a day sitting, which can lead to tight hip muscles, fascia and ligaments. When your hips are tight, you may experience back and pelvic pain during sex.

“I hear a lot that people can only do one position,” because they’re stiff or other positions hurt, Dr. Howell said.

Improving your hip mobility can help your whole lower body move more fluidly and comfortably, and may improve pelvic pain during sex, she said.

As a first step, Ms. Marshall recommends releasing some of the constricted areas by placing a tennis ball against your glutes and rolling it around, then shifting it to your hips and hamstrings, massaging each area until you feel the muscle release. This can be done sitting or against a wall.

From there, stretch your hips, hip flexors, glutes, back muscles and hamstrings by doing a figure-four stretch, 90/90 stretch, cat cow or happy baby pose, Dr. Howell said, or “any movement that’s bringing your chest closer towards your knees.”

Finally, dynamic exercises such as deep squats and glute bridges mobilize the hips and build strength. And if you want to dial up the intensity, weighted squats, leg presses and kettlebell swings can increase the power in your glutes and hamstrings.

“I love kettlebell swings for sexual training,” Ms. Marshall said, because they involve “a rhythmic movement of flexion and extension in the hips.”

Focus on your entire core.

The more strength you have in your core, the more you will be able to move easily during sex. Most of the nerves and muscles that are involved in sex are integrated into the core, and strong core muscles can also help to reduce back and hip pain before, during and after sex.

“Strengthening the core can really help with endurance during sex, helping you feel strong and solid in your body,” said Rachel Zar, a sex therapist in Chicago.

To work the full cylinder of muscles that make up the core, Dr. Howell recommends doing planks daily. “You can start small,” she said. “Say you can only hold it for five to 10 seconds — that’s going to help you to engage all of your core muscles at one time.”

Another bonus to working the core muscles? Dr. Herbenick and her team have found that, for some people, contracting and releasing their core muscles helped them become aroused. Consider your planks foreplay.

Practice five minutes of daily yoga.

Yoga can help improve hip mobility and build core strength. And practicing slow, deep, diaphragmatic breathing is especially valuable for sex, Dr. Herbenick said, because it helps to relax both the body’s parasympathetic nervous system and the pelvic floor.

“You might find that vaginal penetration is more comfortable. You might find that erections come more easily,” she said. “Stress is the enemy of erections.”

If you don’t feel up to moving through yoga positions, practicing the breath work alone is valuable, Dr. Howell noted. “Even just laying on the yoga mat, putting your hands on your belly and just breathing into your belly can really start to calm that nervous system,” she said, “which can then support more pleasure in your sex life.”

Danielle Friedman is a journalist in New York and the author of “Let’s Get Physical: How Women Discovered Exercise and Reshaped the World.”

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/27/w...rformance.html

Had a walk with Bella this morning. I haven't been exercising but it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Have gained about 5 lbs and have decided to take Tirzepitide, a weight-loss medicine. I'll start the medication next week but decided to get back to exercising this week.

The knees are stiff, but the stiffness is only in the knees so it doesn't prevent me from moving. I'm movng more than before my new knees, but not as much as want.

It was a good walk and Bella was a delightful companion, as always.

I joined a summer rowing team that starts in July so I've added my rowing machine back into my workouts. They have training guidelines and I'm a little like woah, so glad I can make room for that in my mornings! That and a lot of mowing today.

I climbed a mountain today. I've climbed this one before but it's been a couple of years since I saw her peak. Today was perfect weather and the climb was just wonderful. I had a good friend and hiking buddy with me. We usually get lost a few times in our hikes because we get so busy talking we miss trail markers but we didn't get lost once today. It was really good.

My new Physical Therapist came to the house for the first time today. I like her a lot! She seems very smart, is super nice (and uber cute - bonus!). I've been having trouble with my walker, and she was immediately able to identify the problems: I've been standing wrong, and it was adjusted too short. My back already hurts less since she readjusted it.

This was mostly a getting-acquainted type visit, but we did do some exercises. She showed me a personalized website where she entered the exercises (with descriptions) so I can do them over the course of the next week until I see her again.

I am so glad my insurance is going to spring for home PT. Going to the office was killing me; I was so worn out by the time I got there I couldn't do much of anything.

Update
 

My "learn to row" program started this week and holy cow what a fantastic workout. Before we even get on the water it's 8 of us carrying a 200 lb boat up and off of racks, overhead, on shoulders, carry to the docks, putting it in the water. It's a tightly choreographed system from start to finish. I love it. And the rowing is amazing. I was in a funk after a stressful day at work yesterday but an hour later I was on a team rowing down the river with geese flying overhead and I was like... what was I upset about before? Not a clue. Then after rowing it's the same in reverse, lift the boat up our of water, pull overhead, down to shoulders, walk it up to the boathouse. My shoulders are pretty bruised up from it but I'm taking those bruises as swagger :)

Got my gym membership switched over to my benefit gym membership (silver & fit), yesterday. It’s been a few moments (since early June), that I could access the gym. Tonight I’m going after work to start my workouts again: bar bells (arm rolls), rowing machine, recumbent bicycle; then join a few friends downstairs for a hip hop dance class. Can’t wait to go!! 😊

Today I did my walking around the top floor of my house, bedroom-hallway-bedroom-hallway. Tedious, but I did it singing along with Whitney Houston.

Yesterday- rowing on the river on a very windy evening was an eventful and fun workout. We worked against current, heavy winds, and some wakes from large boats going by. We stayed upright and survived the experience and I loved every minute of it.

The strength in my knees and hips is building back up. I can walk 4 steps without holding onto the walker. It's been awhile since I could walk without holding onto the walker or a wall or a rail.

I wanted to hike Hurricane Mountain this morning but thought I would wait for my mountain climbing buddy to come home from travelling for that one. So I went to Hang glider cliffs which is a 6 mile loop with some nice scenery and gorgeous views at the top. I'm glad I went early as it was very hot and buggy when I finished.

I was supposed to climb Black Mountain today with my climbing buddy for her birthday but she woke up awful sick so we are rescheduling. She was so bummed. So I climbed "fifth peak" in the Lake George Wilderness. Not the most exciting name but it was a heck of a climb. Very steep. Lovely views at the top. It is noted that it is also a home to a number of Rattle Snakes and thankfully I didn't come across any. The only time I really worried was one section where the trail was very narrow and running through a tall grassy area. Let's just say I hustled through that section. I think my legs will have something to say to me about all this tomorrow.

I just got back from taking my first Barre class. This is a kind of hybrid of ballet positions, weight training, lots (and lots) of crunch-like motions, and a lot (lots) of leg lifts with giant rubber bands. Halfway through, I thought, "this is a nope". Now, I feel great.

The instructor (who must have been 60 if a day) came flying over after the class to tell me how great I did! She was very nice and had no problems with me taking a break, or modifying whatever we were doing. It reminded me a bit of the jazz and modern dance I did in high school, and being on the dance team. I felt like one powerful sister back then, and so much more in touch with my body. I'm gonna go for that again.

Of course, I flew right to Orema's post about exercise and sex up at the top. Well, if that ain't motivation, what is?

Happy Monday to everybody (f)

Just thought I’d drop by and spill about my own exercise stuff. ☺️

I met a nice lady, older than me, at my gym and as we sat in the jacuzzi, she told me about her year long results of having joined our gym and how she improved her health and mobility. She went nightly to the pool aerobic class, which is only an hour long, but a bonafide workout. She lost over a hundred pounds, has no hanging skin on her body, and still goes nightly.

Her story and year long commitment inspires me to keep up the good fight for my own health.

I’ve only lost maybe ten pounds since August, but between going to the gym and committing to a no-sugar-whatsoever diet, I’m determined to win my battle for better mobility and a better looking body.

Cheers,

K. (f)

I'm exercising again and it feels good on most days. Today felt really good on the bike. I could have ridden longer, but I didn't want to push it.

I'm losing weight but I need to increase my muscle mass so I bought some dumbbells and have been using them. I expect to gain, but that's cool as long as I can build up some muscle.

I've started using these videos. The dumbbell workout wasn't as satisfying as spinning, but I'm still adjusting to using weights.





Maybe I'll enjoy the weights more if I turn down the volume and use my own beats.

:weightlifter:

Had a lovely walk this morning. It was my first one for the year. Didn't need a cane on that last block and wasn't out of breath. Guess I need to add another block or two. We'll see.

Saw sweet Bella but I'm no longer on speaking terms with her Trump-loving family. I miss her but my motto for this year is these things happen and that makes it easier to accept the losses and move on to creating winners, at least for me. I give her a couple rubs if she comes up to me then I keep it moving.

I also made some gummies this morning and my fitness watch counts my vigorous stirring as "activity." So, I've met my exercise goals for today.

:bow:

I love working the Yes To Next videos, which are a mother-daughter team, each over 50 (mother is 80-something; daughter is 50-something). They range from 10 minutes to 30 and more. I may do a shorter one if I'm aching and still feel like I did something. They also emphasize balance and functional fitness.

I also like the Body groove videos, but those are more strenuous and you actually need coordination to do them. I'm also a little uncomfortable shaking things, even in the privacy of my home, but that's me and nothing really against the videos.

These sound really interesting and I will give them a try if I can find them. I really need something to help with coordination and function. Right now I am doing some exercises that my pain doctor recommended; they are based on Tae Kwon Do. But I can't do the upper body and lower body at the same time. I have to be sitting to do the upper body, and standing holding onto my walker to do the lower body. Even if I try to just do the lower body and balance with my arms instead of holding onto the walker, I lose my balance and fall over. I need something that;s going to give me all-over coordination.

Exercising was very good today. I was only able to workout for 22 minutes, but it helped a lot.

I've been slacking on the strength training. I don't like it because I gain weight so I'd rather walk or cycle, but that's not enough while I'm losing weight becuase I'm losing too much muscle.

My wrist, leg and hip started acting up. I thought it was my arthritic spine and was going to make an appt with the doctor. Well, I got pissed off about something and needed a strenuous workout so I pulled out the dumbells. By the time I finished I had worked out a few of the kinks in my wrist and hip.

I can't/won't do both walking and strength training, so I'll stick with the strength training for now because it's making a difference.

I'm thinking of signing up with a guy who has some strength-training videos for seniors, but I'll try it on my own for now.

no advice, please
 

Had a good workout this morning. Have focused on strength training this week with videos from April and her mother. Those kinks I worked out have not returned. I've gained a couple pounds but it is what it is. It's muscle weight that I need.

I'll stick with this for a while, but I'm still thinking about signing up with an online trainer.

Had another good workout this morning. The strength training is working out well and I'm gaining muscle. I'm using a body scanning app that shows the amount of muscle, fat, body measurements, etc.

I've only gained 0.2 lbs muscle but I really notice the difference in my body. I've worked out most of the kinks I developed since losing muscle mass over the last year. The bad news is it's way harder to gain muscle than it is to lose, but the good news is that it can be gained again, it just requires a lot of work.

Here's a link to the body scanning app. I use the free version and it lets me compare my previous scan to my current scan.

:fastcycling:

[B]Thanks, I will check it out. I've noticed some weakness and I know I'm going to have to work on getting that muscle back.

* * *

Currently I am mainly dreading going to the pain doctor tomorrow. I have not been keeping up with my exercises the way I should. I am really noticing increasing pain in my lower back, which of course makes me want to exercise even less.

Had another good workout this morning.

I've been averaging 150 minutes a week of strength training with April and her mother and it's really made a difference. My balance has gotten better, too.

I use:

• 2lb weights (for lifting above my head and core)
• 3lb weights (for upper body)
• 5lb weights. (for lower body)

I set small goals that I can reach. One of my first goals was to easily lift 2lbs over my head 10 times. Now, one of my current goals is to lift 3lbs over my head 10 times without shaking or giving up. I'll get there.

:bow:

Had a good workout this morning. I'm amazed at the kinks in my body that I've worked out with the strength training. In my hands, arm, hip, thighs... I thought the discomfort (not always pain, but shit that slows you down or wont let you do what you used to do... Ugh) thought it was from getting older. Nope, it was from not using those muscles and from losing some muscle.

Still settting and meeting small goals.

:heavyweight:

I joined a group hike at a local nature preserve today. I was on the wait list for the group (Meetup) and didn't think I'd get in but, I did! It was a really nice 5 mile meander. At first I was a little antsy because the pace was slower than I like to go but then I got into it. There were three Naturalists in the group who were there to talk about and answer questions about plant and animal life we were seeing. The focus was on the Karner blue butterfly who feeds on the blue lupine that are nearing the end of their peak. I also got to pet and love on 5 dogs during the hike.

My crew team starts back up tomorrow (Yayyyyy) so I've been making sure to get on my indoor rower every morning. I brought my bike to work today too so hopefully I'll stay committed to taking a ride after work.

Got back in the crew boat yesterday! I'm not sure how far we went but it was a solid hour and a half of rowing in a 8 boat. It was so good to be out on the river.

https://thumbs.dreamstime.com/b/eigh...e-45103584.jpg

Last night rowing was WILD. It's been raining for weeks now and the water is quite high and the current is strong. We were supposed to go out this past Sunday but it wasn't safe. Yesterday, the rain stopped 10 minutes before practice started and the sun came out. But the winds were heavy and the water was still pretty high. We had like, the best row I've ever experienced. I think we all really focused on the need to be super synchronized. We went further than before and practiced some racing drills. I'm a little sore this morning, in the best way.

Had another good workout this morning. Still groovin' with April and Aiko with improvements. I'm clocking 150 to 160 minutes a week with at least one day of rest. My goal is to do all the exercises with 5 lb dumbbells. I'm not even close to that goal, but I'll get there. It will just take time and your girl got plenty of it.

As my muscles build I will need to have more rest days, but I'm good for now.

We have a new coach for the crew team I'm on. Last night was his first night with us. OH MY. He hails from England and was a coach there so his style is a little different. He worked us hard with a lot of distance and racing drills AND he had us go for stints with our eyes closed! We had to rely on feeling the movements of the boat and the sound of the oars to stay in sync with each other. It was quite the experience!

This new coach for the crew team. I love him and I'm terrified of him. He's so good and so challenging and I think he's testing how far he can push us. Last night I thought he might be trying to get us to tip the boat just to get it over with so we don't have that worry in the back of our minds. (We didn't tip) I wish we had more women in the group though. It's really hard to balance the boat when it's mostly men. The women on our team are smaller and placed in the back and the men overpower us.

I do sub in for the all women's team but they are well established experienced rowers. They pull from the subs when they can't fill a boat with their team members. I got to row with them on Monday and it was soooo nice.

Crew was cancelled M-W due to extreme heat so it was good to get back on the boat last night. HOWEVER Coach put me in the stroke seat, which is the very front of the boat in charge of pacing. That was stressful to say the least. But I got some really good coaching and got the hang of things! We had a new guy who was riding in the launch boat with our coach. Toward the end of practice I switched out with him and got to ride in the launch and watch the team. While in the launch, I got some really good feedback on improvements I'm making and I didn't expect that. It was a great workout. Scary at times but I survived the experience!