I not me will knock you into next week.

Do you want me to give you something to cry for.

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.

knee high to a grasshopper
need to go beat my face. I never use this phrase. lol

A dollar to a donut!

Can't see the forest for the trees!

Wipe that smirk off your face!

(or smile, depending on my parents mood)

<insert> is about as <insert> as the day is long.

"My stomach feels like my throats been cut off"

ice box

i bet somebody's already said 'ice box' tho....

Because I received puzzling comments (LOL)

"beat my face" = put on your make up

Don't put all your eggs in one basket.
You woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.
6 of one half a dozen of the other.
What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?

OMG! My mother has a million of these things.

You have the attention span of a gnat.
What is good for the goose is good for the gander.
Go pound salt!
<insert name or pronoun, usually 'she'> looks like nine miles of hard road.

Along those lines, my dad had a few:

Colder than a well diggers arse.
Useless as tits on a bull.
If only my aunt had balls she would be my uncle. (in response to people saying "if only...")

Not the sharpest crayon in the box

Not the brightest bunny

Dumber than a box of rocks

He was all over her like a cheap suit.
On you like white on rice.
He is tighter than a frog's butt and that is waterproof.



And the mom classic, why buy the cow when she gives the milk away for free?

Loggerhead - a thick-headed or stupid person; blockhead

at loggerheads - engaged in a disagreement or dispute; quarreling

In a New York minute! (that means real fast) :glasses:

Fine as frog hair... :glasses: