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Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the P is silent . |
How do you make a Kleenex dance?
Put a little boogie in it! (Yes I love my 5 year olds jokes!) |
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten-Tickles.
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All purpose
How do you impress a baker when your taking his daughter on a date? You bring her flours.
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Did you hear about the lettuce and the tomato?
The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup" |
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Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?
It got stuck in a crack! |
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My cousin Robert has a rubber toe...
We now call him Roberto
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What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
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Why did the cowboy buy a daschund?
He wanted to get a long, little doggie.
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joke
Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers were out at a posh hotel having a meal, Ginger in a ball gown Fred in a morning suit, all went well until the waiter spilled treacle sponge all over Fred, am so sorry said the waiter, "so you should be " said Fred..."have pudding on my top hat, pudding on my white tie and pudding on my tails"
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Tap Dancerz
Ever wonder what a tap dancer tinkz when she walkz on the dancin floor?
She looks at the floor and sayz, "I juzt tapped dat!" |
I posted this over in the zombie thread but it really belongs here ...
Q: What do you get when you cross a deer with a ghost? A: Bamboo! :D |
Why can't ghosts have babies?
Because they have a Halloweenie! (This time courtesy of my 9 year old son who thrives on potty humour!) |
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I used to be a banker...
…but I lost interest.
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Q: What's the difference between ignorance and Apathy?
A: I don't know and I don't care. Q: Why are penguins socially awkward? A: Because they can't break the ice. |
What did the bannana say to the vibrator?
What are you shaking for the bitch is gonna eat me!!! Hope I can say that word on here lol |
Everyone's prob heard this but here it is anyway... :cheesy:
What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches. |
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What did the left ball say to the right?
The guy in the middle is a real dick. |
What did the valentine card say to the stamp?
Stick with me and we'll go places! What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? Forget-me-nuts. What do single people call Valentine's Day? Happy Independance Day! Ks- :awww: |
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Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
:o |
did you hear about the zoo that didn't have any animals except one dog?
It was a Shih Tzu |
What did the ceiling say to the wall?
Meet me at the corner.
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Q: How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: You need 250 just to lobby for the research grant. |
Why do abcdefghijklmopqrstuvwxy & z hate hanging out with the letter n?
Because n always has to be the center of attention. |
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2 cannibals are sitting around eating a clown.. One says to the other one... Does this taste funny to you? Heh heh
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