'I still live with my ex. Yeah, it's no big deal. We had post-break up sex last night....'

Never say 'you're almost as pretty as my old girlfriend. God I loved her.' Someone said this to me once and that date ended quickly!

People have said so many dumb things to me on first dates or trying to pick me up... there must be something about me.

On the first and last date, the conversation was all about her ex. She loved her but the ex was too (physically) sick to have around her son. She proceeded to take out a pic and show me. I said (politely) "oh, she's cute" to which she said "she's fucking beautiful". So I gave her the pep talk about if you love someone you can make it work then politely made up an excuse to leave.

Friend zoned immediately and if she is on this site, she will know who I am.

"You are a massage therapist and you used to be a cook? Fantastic! I would love someone to cook for me, keep the house nice and rub my sore muscles in the evening."

Mate, so would I. So would I. But that's not why I would date someone. How would you feel if I said "you make lots of money and you used to be a cabinate maker?? Fantastic! I would love someone to pay for all my shoes and dinners and come over and fix all the things that need fixing in my house." Kinda shit, hey? Yeah. That.

Seriously, this has been said to me wayyy too many times.

Date # 4:

"That wine really lights you up."

She is an active alcoholic. I did not know this at the time I made the above comment. I dearly paid for it. She bitched me out about my love of Hamburger Helper for an entire week. After a week, I said "Take those 2 boxes I left in your kitchen cabinet and throw them in the trash."

I did not know WTF was happening until way way later.

Poor woman, cannot talk about what is really bothering her, especially if it has anything to do with her drinking.

Edit:
The reason I said it was because she was so "lively" the night before, she almost fell off my lap and would have surely cracked her head open on the stone tile floor. Then I said we need to move to the bedroom and it was difficult to get her there. With my best efforts, she still almost fell at least twice. I was honestly scared she would end up hurt very badly. Still, wish I could have talked to her about it in a different way. I sincerely cared for her.

sometimes femmes refer to me as a 2x4 butch
duh ... :(

Not to say
 

After reading these comments about dates with other people I thought about myself. I have said some embarrassing things on a date not often but once after too much wine I said something complementary about her breasts. Well that relationship lasted over 5 years and was good til the end. Sometimes it is okay to make a mistake.

Ladies have asked me about my salary and my home but those are easy to see and eliminate. Ladies that go on about exes are also a red flag.

I don't really care about the salary thing. At least they know that I don't need them for their money. My house is pretty modest so, lol, that proves I am not mega-rich.

"oh yeah, I used to be very successful and i spoiled my ex wife. She never had to lift a finger. *proceeds to pull out proof*"

"Can we just share an entree?"

- same person

Oh, I know your ex, I know all about you.

UGH!!!

Other than a few strange first dates, the one thing that used to irritate the heck out of me was something being mentioned by quite a few people here.

Please stfu about your ex....get over her before you start dating again, and then leave her in the past where she belongs. One person I dated talked about their ex in EVERY conversation we had during the time we dated.

I hope they didn't do that with the next gf :blink:

I surf that one. I don't think there is anything wrong talking about your exes (or am I the only one with several exes in my life?) in regards to talking about *your* life. Like if you are telling a story about a vacation you took and you were married for 9 years, it's likely much of your recent life is going to have stories that include ones ex. Fact of life. I don't want people to never talk abut the stories of their life because they fell in love and had sex before dating me. I *love* stories about people's lives. And if people edit their exes out of them, that's just weird.

But *pining* about ones recent ex in front of a new date is bad form. So is endless ranting.

There is a difference in talking about your life with exes in it, and talking about one recent ex in particular in an obsessive manner.

I want to get to know people, their lives, their histories, their stories... That's going to have stories with exes in them as characters that are part of the play about their lives.

Obsessing about someone you've just broken up with while meeting another is poor form. Maybe just look for casual date sex while going through that.

Our lives include experiences with other people, and they are a part of my conversation if appropriate to the situation...but we all know the difference between mentioning an ex in a conversation, and making every conversation a conversation about an ex.

I believe we agree about that :hangloose:

Although i have to say, I love the way you put your thoughts into writing! (f)

I have done it though. And I feel bad for the woman I did it to. She was very empathetic and we had a couple fabulous dates and really fun sex but it was too soon and I didn't realize it till I was curled up in her bathroom having a cry. I think most people are too distressed about their break up understand they are being a giant twat.

I think I was very lucky after my wife to find someone who had just been left by *their* wife so we could get together for friendship, , dates, sex and mutual bitching and crying. We certainly weren't looking for "the one".

I wish the was a "recently been dumped" website where you could find mutual support, sex and fun without trying the patience of the general dating public lol

BUMP BUMP BUMP

NEVER NEVER NEVER haul out a coupon on a first date:seeingstars:

Mention bad things about your childrens biological father. That's a huge no no for me, I have to see the dude and how he behaves before I give my opinion.

Hmn. For me that depends. I've been dirt poor where I couldn't even afford something without a coupon. But if someone said "hey, you mind if we go to X? I've got a 50% off for it."
I'd be totally agreeable! In fact I'd think they were kind of on the ball and be a bit impressed.

But t then I've been a student the past three years and have had to buy all my veg from the dollar bin, so I'm likely viewing fro, a different angle.

Different folks, different boats....

Here are my pet peeves that have actually happened!
 

1. "My therapist tells me (fill in the blank)" Any sentence that starts with this, definitely is a concern for me. I'm all for self improvement and discovery but when someone you pay has to tell you what to think and/or do...I'm worried! :bolt:

2."You’re not the type of person I usually go for!" Then why are we on a first date...actually I don't want to know! :blink:

3. "My ex always used to say…" Do I need to say anymore!? :eek:

4. "I’m about to go on a trip for the next six months" Well adios amigo! :byebye:

Personally, I'd avoid asking my date if they preferred Clinton or Sanders.

(Second date on a walk through the woods) Date pointed to a spot and said: 'My ex and I had sex right here.'

.......:blink: