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Listening to a guy sharing about having a hard exterior but loads of feelers bubbling under that exterior. My mate Shaz looked over and mouthed 'Fluffy bunny' at me...it's a wee shared 'in-joke' between us. Cracked us both up. :cheesy:
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I am STILL laughing so hard over this....
My girl..is always, always such a lady! and I have never heard her utter one "curse word"...she is so classy like that... Tonight, we were chatting a bit on phone...and she was getting ready to get in bed....we were idly chatting...and all of a sudden..out of her mouth came: " I think I will take my happy ASS...then the sucking in of her breath...I could just visualize her mouth agape..eyes wide...and the shock of realizing what she just said.....dead silence...THEN....then we both burst out to laughing...and THAT was so precious....she NEVER utters any bad words..at alll....:seeingstars: |
after an awful day at work... I needed to burn off steam... but first I stopped by Blade's because my landlord (I had to pay rent) lives just over the hill...so while there venting about my boss, he has me start looking for his lost keys.... MIND YOU, I wasn't here when he lost them, unlike times past when he misplaced his glasses...
So I look all over house while I grill him about "tell me your exact actions as you came home, dumped groceries and dealt with the plumber..." ..... He took a tone with me that made me repeat "Tell me EXACTLY what you did as you came in the door."... While half listening to him, I grabbed the flashlight to look under washer, dryer...then made my way out to the porch to check the squirrel cage... on my way back in, I glance over to above the steps... see a glint of light hit silver, make a very crosseyed look, then pound on the door and yell "GET YER BUTT OUT HERE!" .... He follows me back out, and I step off the porch, turn around and say "look THERE!!" ... pointing to an ammo box used for camp gear... The look on his face was PRICELESS... the keys were sitting in the rain, in a place he would HAVE NEVER LOOKED!! .... while he was checking to see if the auto button was ruined by the rain, he set off the truck alarm! So I get a finder's fee!! I was about to do a strip search, because I'd looked everywhere else!! Now I've climbed the "Helpful friend ladder" of always finding his glasses ... rescuing his lost keys... only bad thing is, I don't live here anymore to keep track of where he drops things! He laughed at me and said "now I owe you dinner!" I made him drive... before we left, I convinced him we were going to the Japanese Hibachi, but pay dutch because it's costly... On the way there, he argues with me that he "ain't going there if it costs too much"... My response: I've wanted to go there for a year, we're going! Even if I have to pay... We get there and get to watch the cutest, most adorable little boy sitting across the hibachi from us...when the chef lit oil on fire, he JUMPED and just about started to cry...then as chef started banging spatulas around, he was awestruck... later, he handled his chop sticks better than most adults...he'd gently dip each piece of chicken in the sauce, until he found a piece he wasn't convinced was chicken... so he picked it up with his chopstick, then used his other hand to pick it up to his nose, smell it, crinkle his nose...then drop it on his older cousin's plate! ... the cousin put it back on his plate.... we were CRACKING up watching this cute little guy, with his strawberry blonde hair and blue eyes... and all his funny reactions to the fancy chef... Blade tried my shrimp dumplings...and made an ugly face and said it tasted like "chit-lins"! Dinner and an entertaining show!! ... when I got the bill, I told Blade that was an early birthday gift... That little boy just made my day!! He sure took away the ugly feelings I had about my work day! |
What cracked me up today...
(At the convenience store before work) Me: I grabbed your last 9 fruit slice candies Clerk: Oh I see we found your weakness Me: *smiles* Yes you have! *straight face* Now move them... Clerk: Okay. Around the corner, top shelf Me: *smiles* Clerk: Now to actually order more Me: Ugh Cracked us both up... Me: :piratelaugh:..... Clerk: :giggle: |
Remembering a favorite movie!
Cracks me up every single time!:hangloose: |
What American Towns Have the Most Unfortunate Names?
The complete list includes:
Toad Suck, Arkansas Climax, Georgia Boring, Oregon and Maryland Hooker, Oklahoma Assawoman, Maryland Belchertown, Massachusetts Roachtown, Illinois Loveladies, New Jersey Squabbletown, California Monkey’s Eyebrow, Kentucky Chicken, Alaska http://newsfeed.time.com/2012/08/08/...ticle-mostpop1 |
What cracked me up... (technicaly it was last night)
Three kids at the shelter playing "would you rather" PG style! Some of the things debated on were hilarious... :rofl: |
Call Me Maybe, Chatroulette Version
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My co-worker cracked me up yesterday. I was waiting on lab results for twin girls. I knew my co-worker would get them first since she gets all the hospital lab results since to her. After about 30 mins she comes to me as I'm standing at my desk and says "I found your Balls". I busted out laughing and said "Thanks, I wondered where I left them". She in turns bust out laughing realizing what she had just said. The patients last name was Ball. It was one of those "you had to be there moments". LoL
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a 65 year old woman and myself... from 2 hick towns in the south... sounding like old country family.... people thought we were nuts... that was funny as hell...
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a sex toy party with a bunch of big women...lol...
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Thanks for the reminder :superfunny: |
Two things today--
Playing the duck ringtone on my iPhone and watching my dog (a Lab mix) go over to the big picture window in the livingroom to scan for waterfowl. Cracks me up every time. Second, the episode in Season 4 of Californication where Hank goes golfing with the two lawyers. Hysterical. |
My friend is a cop. He was on traffic duty this morning. I saw him parked across the street ready to pounce on red-light runners so when my light turned green I held my cell phone up and pretended to be dialing as I crossed thru the intersection right in front of him. He had to pull me over. Lights and everything. I was cracking up. No, I did not get a ticket.
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my two gay guy friends i work with, excited about taking my picture for this site!
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A friend of mine, who has recently gone "country" decided to buy herself a pig. So, off to the livestock auction we went, down into Amish country. She bought a small pig and a farmer friend of ours, bought 5 small pigs (he agreed to allow her to room her pig with his, on the farm).... and off to the farm we went to help unload the next "porkchop on her plate". My god daughter, god son and I watched, at first in bemusement and then in absolute hysterics as my friend chased those darned things around the trailer, trying to grab them by their hind legs. I've not laughed that hard in a long time. She got peed on, got pig crap on her boots, she was exhausted when all six were finally penned, but she was happy. Me, Danni and TT were exhausted from laughing. lol.
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my car repair bill...and estimate for other work that still needs done...
Yep, I felt like a hard boiled egg that someone had just taken a hammer to! Cracked me up indeed... that life seems to be so full of surprises and twist-n-turns... |
Blade's dad, who's having surgery today, took the Superman PJ's with him that I gave him for his birthday, so he can wear them in recovery.
that ornery old fart always finds ways to crack me up! Blade made me laugh when he said "if they ever let me leave,.I'll bring you Piggy Park BBQ!!" |
what was funny... was me (45) and norma (65) worked circles around a kid (21).
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my mother's pit bull is 4 months old now....all gangly legs and big head....she doesnt realize shes as big as she is....she looks like a young great dane! Anyhow....she doesnt like to come inside..she LOVES being in the yard...so I was calling her to come in....and in the meantime let the other dogs in...when i opened the door again to let her in, she BOLTED from the holly bush that is her "den" to the shed about 25 ft away...the way she did it was like she thought she was hiding from me....like shes still small enough to hide...i had to laugh....i closed the door and let her stay out....its still making me smile :)
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Well it didn't happen today but.....
When my grandson, yeh the one in my gallery pics, sings Old McDonald's Farm... E, I, E, I, O... nope. It's more like A, E, I, O, U and sometimes Y!! :blink: I think the lil guy has his songs mixed up... :lol2: |
my missus's brother, he drinks tea when everyone else is drinking wine, maybe thats why he has the 6 pack and i dont, lol! here we are hanging out this afternoon......................http://http://i1255.photobucket.com/albums/...wedding069.jpg
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Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake.
"I’ll go into town for a doctor," the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the town’s only doctor, who is delivering a baby. "I can’t leave," the doctor says. ‘But here’s what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground." The guy ruins back to his friend, who is in agony. ‘What did the doctor say?" the victim asks. "He says you’re gonna die." |
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the other night Dixie and I were doing our usual nightly texting when suddenly
Dixie: Sooo i see you're paying the sluts again Me: :| Dixie: PLAYING the SLOTS!! OMG!! me :cracked: :rofl: |
last night, this cracked me up..
my 5 yrs old started asking me about when 'he was in my tummy'.. he wanted to know if he made my tummy wiggle and poke out and such... so I'm describing to him how it felt and what it looked like in kiddo terms, and we are totally cracking up about it.. all of the sudden he gets serious and says, "momma... did I drink milk?" and stares at my boobs. uhhhh. I answered and then lmao'd. oooohh, the questions from the mouths of babes. |
TGIF GIF Party!
Via Jezebel: Celebrate the End of One of the Shittiest Weeks Ever with a Gif Party!
This week was, pardon my French, a piece of fucking merde. The news was so bad that we all became bored with bad news. To make matters worse, this week stretched on and on, like that time you spent an hour making out with the young man who your memory would come to know as Halitosis Guy you were 18 and too polite to say anything. There's good news, though — it must have been crap, but it's over now. Let's gif it out. click on title to crack up :D |
me, Clay and my shoes...
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What cracked me up...
the general: why does your drink have two straws in it? spritz: probably because i ordered a diet drink and you two didn't, so this is the waitress's way of know mine apart from yours. me: (teasingly toward the general) ohhhhh I thought it was cause mom was supposed to drink from her mouth AND her nose! the genral: ugh! your gross! Ahahahahaaaaaa I love messin' with that kid! :superfunny: |
TOO MANY THINGS this weekend cracked me up!!!!
a cute little boy wading in the creek, yelling out "OH IT'S WARM HERE! FISH PEE!!" ... I absolutely fell in love with that little guy this weekend! He's the kind of kid that you NEVER want to grow up! He'd come off with so many one liners, I should have written them down! I nicknamed him "blue boy" because every time he was in the water too long, he'd turn blue!! But you had to DRAG him out! a camping companion to crack jokes with all weekend and hear them say "you're sooooo bad, girl!" every time I cracked a funny and surprised them! privately cracking jokes with my companion about how I would crush a certain guy's ego if I got his fire going for him when he couldn't... (you had to see and interact with this guy to know what I mean...) needless to say, if it wasn't for me, they would have been eating cold hot dogs! the sweet young mother who was with that guy calling us "pioneering women" this morning when they saw our raging, blazing firepit... and me yelling back "WE CHEATED! We used a firestarter block wrapped in paper!" ... (her bf had been using wet wood) This morning, "blue boy" came wading down river and yelled out, very proud "WE CAUGHT A FISH!!"... I asked how big? He held his tiny hands out BIIIIIGGG but quickly moved them back together about the size of a peanut butter sandwich... too cute His brother came wading up behind him, and I noticed he had a handful of fishing line and was intently watching something in the water... he yelled out "WE CAUGHT A FISH!!" then he pulled out this tiny little brim at the end of his line, he gently placed it back in the water and gave it extra fishing line... We CRACKED UP!!! He was "Walking" his fish like a dog on a leash!!! allowing it plenty of line to swim down stream... I hollered at him "AWWW HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOU HAD A HOOK IN YOUR JAW?" ... he responded "we didn't use a hook, we used a weight and thread it through his gills where he doesn't feel a thing." .... POOR FISHIE!! I laughed so hard this weekend! |
lots more laughing ...
spending the last 4 hours on the phone, cracking up and sharing stories about the kids in our lives and all the "out of the mouths of babes " things that we fondly recall...
me spending hours on the phone with ANYBODY is rare enough to make me laugh! |
What cracked me up today...
daughter: so we took ju to his preschool for openhouse to check out his room and meet his teacher. me: oh yeh how'd that go? daughter: omg he was sooooo excited, he squealed! me: that's sooooo awesome! julian: boobeh i squealed!! *giggle giggle chuckle laugh* That kid, I swear, he's gonna leave his mark at that preschool! :superfunny: |
Mr. Poodle Pants and Panjo...
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Two staff in the back office. One had her pre-teen child with her for the evening.
Mind you, I can only hear this conversation. I was at the computer typing logs... child: Mom what is this thing? staff: What thing? child: This weird brown thing? mom: Oh hmmmm well it's a penis. child: OMG whaaaaat??? La la la, I can't hear youuuuuuuuu (assuming fingers in ears) mom: You asked. child: What are you people doing with this thing here? mom: We teach the kids on the streets the proper way to put on a condom. child: OMG I really don't want to know this from you! mom: Meet my co-worker! Ahahahaaaaaa oh the highlight of my evenings :rofl: |
I have had my current car for over 6 years and I have taken very good care of her...we are getting to the point where I will be trading her in soon, what with her low miles and pristine body...and today, while at the grocery store parking lot, I just figured out she has a 5-CD changer. Quite honestly I had no idea that this was the case until I had to switch off Spice Radio in the parking lot. In my haste to block my radio porn I pushed a button for my CD changer, and it was only then that I found that I had 4 more CD's I could load. Almost 7 years and 65+ miles I find this out now??? Really? How did I miss that? On the way home from market I immediately loaded the following:
Jimmy Buffett Songs You Know By Heart Jimmy Buffett A White Sport Coat and a Pink Crustacean Jimmy Buffett Barometer Soup Jimmy Buffett Changes in Attitudes Changes In Lattitudes Jimmy Buffett Coconut Telegraph... I already had Jimmy Buffett License to Chill but I kicked it out for the above listed 5... Oh, and BTW, I am fond of Jimmy Buffett... |
The show, Miranda.
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Thinking that I could simply waltz into my local Whole Foods late afternoon on the Saturday of Labor Day weekend. That cracked me up.
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