to be honest, I don't even know what wholesome actually means. As far as I understand, wholesome = whole wheat bread and home baked.

I haven't dated very much, but for me I like some of the old fashioned stuff, like doors being held open for me. It's just nice. I like, too, when I can tell that the date is a little bit of a special occasion for both of us. It doesn't have to be anything fancy, but just that someone bothered to look a little extra nice, similar little things, makes me feel a little special.

Personally, I'm broke a whole lot of the time, so I definitely don't mind doing free/inexpensive stuff on dates. I usually plan to pay my own way on everything, unless for some reason it's really important to the other person to pay for the date, in which case I don't have a strong enough opinion on the subject for it to conflict. So inexpensive options make me happy. Mostly I think dates are for spending time with the other person, a getting-to-know-you time or kind of an arranged "let's focus on each other" time. One of my favorite dates for fun-factor was a picnic (the same stuff I was making for dinner anyway, just packed up) at the park with travel Scrabble. They have free concerts once a week all summer at that park, and that's a really nice date, too.

I will say, I've been picked up one or two times for dates when I had to spend five minutes clearing stuff off the passenger seat of their vehicle so that I would have a place to sit, or with the footspace all full of fast food cups and stuff. That I didn't like!

The last man I dated before I sorted out that I wasn't actually straight used to bring me little trinkets when he came to see me, which was kind of neat. Nothing fancy usually - a flower he'd picked on the way over, or a stuffed animal he'd won out of a claw machine. (He was remarkably good at those games, so it never cost him more than a dollar.) But nobody had ever done that, so it just felt incredibly sweet to me. He was a really good date in general - he just treated me beautifully. If I were any kind of straight I'd probably be married to him by now, the sweetheart.

Like I said before, I haven't dated a whole lot, so really I don't have a lot of experience to point me toward anything concrete. But basically what it boils down to is that I want to be treated respectfully and like I'm special to them, that our time together is special to them.

Lol. I have told this before, but it became a pet peeve. I have had folks pick me up and then go to the ATM and get gas, etc. I get it if you had a particularly busy day -- and you explain that -- or if you've been together a while. But for it to be early on in dating and for the person to not do all those things first . . . red flag. I am serious. DO NOT BORE ME. Kiss of death.

I was on a first date with a butch who had to make a stop for something work related. I waited for 45 minutes. I didn't have a book or anything because who knew? Then she talked about her ex. No second date.

I absolutely will not have my time wasted like that. To me that is so disrespectful. I don't do it to others, whether they are dates or friends or even acquaintances. If I am going to transport someone in my car, I have already put gas in the car and have gone to the ATM.

While I expect everyone to be clean, I don't even notice how people are dressed unless it's super sexy. I could not care less. My colleague said to me yesterday about a student who had just left, "If you had a daughter, would you let her walk out of the house like that?" Honestly, I couldn't even remember what the student had been wearing. I just don't care.

Edited to add: Oh and know how to get where you are going or have GPS or whatever. We can all get lost, but at least have written down the directions or something. I have had a couple of people not know how to get back on the interstate after we have gone somewhere new to both of us. I get lost easily, but I prepare. Anyway, things that are careless and cause me to be bored -- done and done. Maybe it's cruel, but I effing hate to be bored.

I wish I liked dating.

I am simple
 

I have never been on an official date... but here are some guidelines.
1.Be clean
2. Be you
3. Brownie points if you can get the door...

I am the kind of girl who fantasizes about slow dancing in the middle of nowhere with nothing but the car radio music. Maybe a nice picnic under the stars? Heck, I wouldn't even mind going on a hike for the first date (just give a warning to wear walking shoes)
I don't know why it has to be so hard. I just want to be treated with respect. I expect that if we are on a date you would be interested in me, so act like it. An occasional compliment goes a long way.
I think as a rule if you are the one that asked me on a date you should have thought about what you wanted to do. I am pretty open to trying new things, but if you want to take me somewhere to eat you should at least have an idea of what kind of foods I can't stand. For instance, taking me to a sushi bar would be problematic.
so yeah 4. Be prepared
:) I don't need flowers, but they are a sweet touch. I just need your honest presence and your willingness to show me who YOU are.

best and worst date
 

Best date I had was going for hot dogs and knishes at katz's deli in NYC. I think it took my butch daddy a while to understand he didn't have to do the fancy dinner/candlelight/hearts and flowers thing. Just laughing and talking over some simple shared food is glorious. The most important thing is that we're spending relaxed time together. I mean...I love that he buys me expensive perfume too, don't get me wrong!! ; )

Worst date? My ex had a real knack of making me cry whenever we went out for dinner (hence EX). But one time we went to a pub, and they went to get us drinks at the bar....and came back to the table empty handed- they had been carded at the bar (they were 39 at the time but has a real baby face and was often mistaken for a teenage boy) 'Old lady' over here had to go to the bar and prove my butch girlfriend was actually not my underage son. SERIOUSLY.

Underage son
 

Good lord, lol that tickled me. Though I am sorry it was such a crummy date.

Way late since you posted this, but here are my ideas anyway...lol...It's definitely different for everyone, and I think you get into trouble if you fall into this "one size fits all" dating idea. Good hygiene and a clean vehicle and house are fundamental and should be kind of a given, regardless of the interaction. But when you say, "I'm going to treat her like a lady", or "I'm going to open your doors", etc, that's probably not going to be a problem in general, but not everyone appreciates those things. I, for example, am not romantic. Romance makes me uncomfortable and on edge. Open my doors, profer your arm, but if it's early in our dating history, I'd rather not have a gift from you. It makes the playing field uneven and I don't like that. I don't care where we go to eat (as long as there's something besides seafood - allergic...lmao), or what we may choose to do, I'll diplomatically (usually - unless i really hate it, then i'll generally be charming about it but not so diplomatic...lol) tell you i wasn't fond of whatever it was. For me, I won't be judging on those things. I won't be counting how many times you said fuck or if you spread your napkin just so in your lap. I'll be gauging the sound of your voice and the way you speak to me. I'll be remembering how much I laughed and how we dealt with the awkwardness that will always accompany early dates. I'll think about how often you touched me and how much you used your eyes and mouth to flirt with me. I won't care if you call me the next day or text me that very same night, but will assume we were an ember not a spark if it takes a week. I will remember the effort you made to get to know me and how easy you made it for me to get to know you. I'll remember how you deal with my unfortuantely smart ass mouth and if your humor meshes with my perverse one. Ultimately, I won't remember trappings and gentile manners, but I'll remember how genuine you are. I'll judge you not by what you do for me, but how real you are with me. These things are what matter to me and the women like me. This ended up long af, sorry...lmao...but here you go anyway...lol

I have probably answered this before, but my needs have changed over the years so......

Treat me like I am the most important person in the world, and make me feel like there is no place you would rather be than out with me.

Yes, thats pretty much it......and I in turn will do the same to you.

Daisy :bouquet:

Friday Night
 

Like a slut....

(f)

How about.....

Staying at one or another's home watching a movie?

Buying a 6 pack and some nacho chips?

Actually listening to what we say?

Sitting on the beach (fried dough or beach pizza would be good too)

Coffee house?

Foliage ride (if available in your area) with a stop at little shops?

It is so easy but, for whatever reason, we feel like we have to have reservations at the best place in town in order to impress or be impressed.

I met someone years ago. We went to a coffee shop. She has an actual list of questions (she was cautious) and I went on a second and third and fourth, etc date with her.

My worst relationship ever was with someone who spent a boatload of money but wasn't nice in any other way.

There are so many fun things that are free or, at least , very inexpensive.

I know myself that, if someone asked me out and we went to the beach (with crackers and a 6 pack) I would love it.

Just sayin

WOOF.

That's only happened a few times and the sex after the date was mind bending (not the first date, we'd slept together before)

Sooooooo miss it.

Ok, I looked it up.

The definition is:



If we are talking about conventionally moral in a white middle american kind of way (which is traditionally where it is used) then not in a billion years.
I'm ethical, not moral. Moral is the differentiation of action and thought between propper and impropper and has a religious/spiritual beliefs system behind it. Moral does not need reasoning and it's about everything being applied cross the board.

Ethical - being in accordance to the standards of practice within a system. Either within a group of people or within a scope of profession or culture. There is reasoning to why something is ethical or not. The same action might be ethical in this instance, but may not be ethical in that instance.


I do not consider myself moral. I'm ethical.
Ergo, I can't be wholesome.
Hey ho.

I love reading this thread and everyone's answers, but here's the thing with me . . .

if I have to tell you how I want to be treated on a date, then I'm probably on the wrong date.

Boom!
 

ETHICAL SLUT

*twirl"

If you please, please don't put your phone on the table at dinner..put it on silent (in your pocket), and short of an emergency, do not interrupt our conversation to answer it.

what is this "date" thing you speak of...?


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