trying to find a 12 pack of Bud lite for my mechanic buddy that busted his ass fixing my car today... only thing is, he didn't tell me that the towns on the way to his house (in a neighboring county) were "dry" :|

I feel your pain...Here in CT we only recently are able to sell beer on Sunday, but you have to have a secret decoder ring to figure out where that is legal!

Ciaran's post in the NEVER thread :P Thanks for the laugh!

just as I got on a teleconference with my boss ...
Blade's mom and sister barge into my kitchen DEMANDING my pants....I'm still recovering ... what cracked me up was more about my thoughts to her demands than the invasion itself of an old woman demanding my pants...
I learned today to lock my porch door...

too flippin funny!!!!
what am I supposed to call her when a 70 something woman invades my "office" demanding my pants??..
The first thing I did was look down at my legs to see I was wearing a skirt, not pants!
and think.."who let her out of the bean garden? "... this is the FIRST time I ever wanted to blurt out W.T.F!! are you doing in my kitchen! ! ..
if she doesn't like "old woman"...and corrected me for saying "fart" one day.. then she would trip on her Depends when I yelled WTF!!

Ima look around and see if I can find a shovel for you, it'll make digging that hole a little easier for ya. She is not seventy something, she isn't even 70 anything yet...she's still a crisp 60 something.....ok on the back side of sixty...but still O my goodness @ 70 something.:byebye:

Inviting Myself Over
 

I don't even know who they are or where they live...but I TOTALLY wanna hang out with Kenna, Blade and the Old Woman who escaped the bean garden. (I'll bring an extra pair of pants, thank you.)

(you guys cracked me up !! Thanks :-)

ohhh holy Hannah! ! she must have stopped counting at the "back side of 60".cause you all been leading me on for the last three years!!.. dig me that hole, but MAKE SURE SHE BURIES ME IN MY PANTS! !

*WAVES TO LITTLE FISH*...welcome to the Bean Patch Silly Farm!!...
bring your pants and a video camera ... cause you might win a prize for catching this all on video! ! YOUTUBE VIRAL... old woman tripping over her Depends while beating Kenna with her own pants!!..

OMG.
.I NEED A NAP!!!
TOO EXHAUSTED CHASING AFTER OLD WOMAN FROM BEAN GARDEN! !

Watching all of the delegates dancing to Mary J. Blige. But in a nice way ... :clap:

My wee son Craig. Quote of the Day: "I have 2 pennies. I'm rich! muhahahahahahahahahahahaha..." He wanted to get a candy. I had to loan him 2 more pennies so he could get his blue taffy.

So annoying to me... when someone else's religious beliefs dictate when and where I can buy a product.

today's star trek google doodle -- click on various things from the beginning.

I played with this multiple times yesterday! I really enjoyed the tribles(sp)! lol

Two staff talking about coffee...

perv staff: how do you like your coffee?
clueless staff: hot, creamy, sweet
Perv staff: *raging laughter* oh really?
clueless staff: *puzzled expression* yes, why?
me: ignore her she's got a gutter mind
clueless staff: *cont'd puzzled look* i'm not getting it
perv staff: and you probably never will! stick to the coffee :rofl:

Keviiiiiiin
 

Dude, you slapped a fish.

when i answer the phone and someone says

"Can you have Bren call me, i've got a turkey in the yard for 5 days now and i don't know how to get rid of it*

:|

When scheduled for a 2 hour meeting and it ends in 30 minutes because the crew of staff is goofin' around too damn much, there's really not a lot to report on, and the director himself comes in with supplies in hand to camp out at the shelter's cell phone provider because they screwed up the bill immensely... and with him trottin' around and working up staff to hysterics one senior staff asked if he had his nitro pills ready (which he did) and the director leans over the other lesbian staff's shoulder and says to her, "Will you please do me a favor and wear lipstick to my funneral?" *roaring laughter* She responds, "I'll even wear a dress." He looks up at me and without getting a chance to ask me anything I was shakin' my head no!! Hell nah I ain't wearin' a dress!!! :cracked:

Here, have some sushi :sushi:

I jokingly say to The General today (6 years old) how is it having Rocky in class? (Boy from her kinder class and day care). Oh good she says. I ask is the wedding still on? (cause she informed me 3 weeks ago that mutual friends decided the 2 of them were getting married) She says... Well actually I was just telling Rocky yesterday that he needed to be thinking about decorations. I said for what? For the wedding mom, if he is going to marry me then he needs to think about decorations. Umm honey, I say, you aren't really marrying him. Well, she says, when I do get married there will BE decorations....

Of course honey!

The look on my sister's face when she walked in on my niece writing on the counter with markers.

a text from Blade...

"If I were a sticky trap where would I be?" ... :confused:

coming from a guy that's always asking where he laid his glasses down?

Hopper Commercials
 

I love these commercials!! If you live on the East Coast or have...you'll get these :)

One of those days...
 

so I received an email from a friend..one of those mass-forwarded ones that have a dozen people in the send-To box and the message asks you to send it to a dozen more..
I've always hated those and mostly delete them because I get so many that it overloads my inbox.

well, for some reason I open this one .. but found the list of recipients interesting ...some from State offices, some yahoo, etc ... but it was the ones that ended in "@leathermiracles.com" that caught my attention ... ;-)
it cracked me up to find it was nothing like I had imagined!!!
my imagination was running away with me...

I tell ya... working at home with little socialization lately is making me find entertainment in strange places.. like reading the recipient names instead of the actual email!

I'm a bit late posting this
 

I wasn't there, but heard about it afterwards ..

Blade and his mishap with the double layered shower curtain ... then the funny look on his face when he told me about it... never a dull moment around here

You know you're from Oakland if . . .
 

I don't know if it cracked me up, but it amused me. I am not from Oakland, but lived there for about a year and a half. My best CA friend lives there, and he's a stalwart supporter of the Alley, a piano bar featured here.

http://blog.sfgate.com/stew/2012/09/...-if/#7318101-1

You can't make this stuff up...
 

Iran's news agency portrays satirical Onion story as its own

(CNN) -- Add Iran's news agency to the long list of those hoodwinked by the satire of The Onion. Iran's semi-official Fars News Agency published a story Friday claiming that a Gallup poll found that rural white Americans prefer Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad over President Barack Obama.

Such a poll would indeed be big news in Iran (and the United States) -- if it were true. But the source was The Onion, the publication that presents the outlandish as real news.

Its serious tone fools many who are new to the lampoons. Onion yarns have tricked news outlets in the U.S. and overseas. Ahmadinejad: I'm quite popular. What sets Fars apart from others, however, is that the agency published the Onion story as if it were its own.Fars News Agency used the story verbatim, giving the same headline: "Gallup Poll: Rural Whites Prefer Ahmadinejad To Obama" Fars also took all the credit at the get-go:

"TEHRAN (FNA) -- According to the results of a Gallup poll released Monday, the overwhelming majority of rural white Americans said they would rather vote for Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad than US President Barack Obama."

(The Onion story used a Charleston, West Virginia, dateline.)
The article went on to quote a West Virginia resident as saying he would rather grab a ballgame or a drink with the Iranian leader than with Obama.
The phony resident then lauded Ahmadinejad: "He takes national defense seriously, and he'd never let some gay protesters tell him how to run his country like Obama does."

If that weren't enough, Fars continued, "According to the same Gallup poll, 60 percent of rural whites said they at least respected that Ahmadinejad doesn't try to hide the fact that he's Muslim."

A Fars news editor said Friday that the outlet took the item off its English-language website once editors realized that The Onion wasn't a legitimate news organization.

Without breaking from its farce, Onion Editor Will Tracy wrote in an e-mail that Fars is a subsidiary and has been "our Middle Eastern bureau since the mid 1980s, when the Onion's publisher, T. Herman Zweibel, founded Fars with the government approval of the late Supreme Leader Ayatollah Khomeini.

"The Onion freely shares content with Fars and commends the journalists at Iran's Finest News Source on their superb reportage," Tracy wrote in his statement.

There's no word on whether either president is laughing.

While at the store...
 

a little brother said in his little voice to his really big sister...
"look, you need this, it's sparkly and it's a zebra!"

OOOPS
 

farting and my babe running away for awhile... :|

whewwweeee.. :passinggas: LOL!

So my mother comes into my office today and says.

'Would you like me to do a commercial for you?'

:| my face

'What for mom?'

She said 'well I've been seeing all those commercials lately, the marriage equality. I'd go on tv so you can get married'

:| my face again

She keeps going 'I would you know. Doesn't matter to Joe ( step dad) and I ...
We could do it'

- blink blink is my next face-

Her final statement .. 'Its ok that you got the gay and you want to marry... No one should give a shit but your family'


My reply 'and there we have it folks ... Maine's yes on 1... It's ok to have the gay and get married because your family is the one that should give a shit!'

Welcome to my world folks.


And for the record ... My mom means no disrespect when she says you got the gay... She learned that expression from me :)

Stting at the staff desks talking with my workmate...

me: seems like the pool table has moved some
he: nope, looks the same from where i'm sitting
me: no, look... see the extra space over there (points to more space damnit)
he: nah, but rack 'em, you'll see things differently once we get over there and play

me: (15 minutes or so into the game) doesn't the cue ball look bigger than the others?
he: ummm noooo
me: omg i swear the damn thing is bigger
he: just like the table moved?
me: yes!!
he: not sure what your reaction to gluten really is but it looks like it's having an affect on your visual perception

LOL nothing like a carefree day... for the most part! :sunglass:

What cracked me up.... :rofl:

So I get on FB and see this picture of a friend of mine digging a hole in her Halloween Graveyard scene in the dark... assuming it was taken last night.

A drag queen friend of the gang puts this "burying all the ex's lol, or dead sex toys lol OMFG can u imagine if they came back from the dead? ATTACK OF THE ZOMBIE USED SEX TOYS" lmfao OMG i am gonna have nightmares now, THANKS lol"