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hello planet, whats on my mind, i got the internet back, im living between palm springs and landers..... i cant come on often but i miss you all.
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upper cervical subluxation
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Wondering how you would get to know people better here without sounding like a fool?
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Closure ... grief... loss....
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Getting through this day.. In the past, i have had emotionally challenging days such as today & have used them as an excuse to set myself up or to be hard on myself .. Today i grasped at everything i possibly could and found ways to pick myself back up..i even pampered myself this afternoon, something i don't take time to do enough.. That shows so much more strength & determination than i've ever had - & proves such growth.
i'm deserving --- & because of this, i feel joy, all the way down to the tips of my friggin' cute lil' toes.. |
I get to be with hym in June...
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My life is good! It’s not perfect (that would be boring). I’ve got opportunities and possibilities waiting for me….I just need to decide on which University to do my Masters….nothing too major. I’m happy in myself and with my life and my choices….so why then, does life/the universe/fate have to throw in a ‘blast from the past’ to unsettle everything?! Why? To see if I’m really wanting to walk this new chapter in my life! ….Well…. I DO and I AM! Even if I have to walk it alone; no dating for a while, that’s fine! (I won’t like it, but, I’ll deal with it).
I will NOT succumb to those from my past who want another chance when THEY were the ones who walked away…. I said there was NO going back, I meant it! Why do people think/believe/expect to be able to come back into my life again and pick up where ‘we left off’ as if nothing has happened? If I wasn’t good enough for you before, TOUGH! I will NOT be treated like my feelings and life don’t matter because I have ‘it all together’ ….do I? Maybe I do! Because I choose to deal with my feelings and emotions and the pain given to me by others AND move on with my life….living my life for me! Don’t come crying to me when your life falls apart, expecting me to sort it out for you and pick up the pieces, because I WON’T! That’s for you to do….if you can’t, I suggest you seek professionally help! |
A lot of things really but mostly bills that need to be paid.. blah!
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Time
This happens every quarter... Classes are back in session and I just don't have the time like I used to. I don't get to post every day and when I do get to come in... My control panel is overflowing with unread threads and it makes it hard to post...
*sigh* I enjoy posting, its therapeutic, and relaxing... I will try to keep coming in, and just... pick a couple to check and post... I need this place, I just have to stop expecting myself to check everything everyday... |
new england
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9 days till I get to go on vacation to Maine and hang out with an awesome person! Ya :-D
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Heading back to work today. Been on furlough for the past week. Had some nice times w/friends. Got some things done around the house. Looking forward getting back to work, I guess. At least, I'm glad I have a job to go back to. But I'm annoyed at the level of uncertainty I face. My department staffing is at a critically low level and has been for some time. I have staff that's going to get screwed on vacation time. And we're all going to be working some long days/weeks to make up for the lack of people. All for a job that won't be here in July. I'm pretty divided as to what to do about the situation. One of my higher ups told me there is a job waiting on me when all of this is over. Do I believe him?
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Sagittarius: You might think that it's better to stay quiet now if you don't have something positive to say. However, your current silence communicates more than you realize because others can't help but notice that you're withholding your feelings. There's no need to pretend that everything is okay just so you can avoid making an emotional scene. Instead, be as honest as you can and just tell the truth as you see it.
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Some days sadness seeps in, yet all I can do is keep moving forward
I try not to process the sadness because when I do, it puts me in a depressive state of mind Work, eat, sleep, computer time and TV seems to be life these days Wishing I had friends nearby that I could do things with every now and again Heck, just hanging out and doing nothing would be nice Knowing someone is in the same room/house would make my day Can't wait for the cold to leave and scout out a fishing hole around here A lady I ran into at a store told me of a place I can river fish on a pier I also found out besides a state fishing license, I need a city permit, too :| |
I woke up with this song on my mind this morning and haven't stopped singing it...
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TIME
or lack of it
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Why do I keep beating my head against my desk? Because it feels so good when I stop.
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Bedtime! Nite Nite Planet!
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Looking forward to a great weekend! :rainbowAfro:
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i got new toms today and a big bra--from nordstrom.
my toms are actually also big as i have a large back paw. also, i initiated e and me reading 'hunger games' together but then, e fell asleep and read ahead about 20 chapters so now i'm not sure if i should let e know--since last time we tried to read something 'together' i did the same thing--read it all in one night and e said that i'd do that this time and i swore up and down that i would not--i was even a little (pretend) insulted that he thought i couldn't control my greedy-reader ways.... poo. e came up behind me and read this. :( |
I never realized that I would love my new iPad as much as I do. Now I'm looking for a new Mac lol
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all amazing things....love....plans....all the little things.....
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Mr Mtn watching local news tonight, and hearing of a woman and her baby being carried off in a flood there in Northern Oregon.. The image of that is in my mind still, and is so very heartbreaking.. =( It makes me think, of how precious each day is - how things should never be taken for granted.. Enjoy each day , each moment, the people we love surrounding us because truly, our time together is a blessing.. One just never knows what tomorrow brings.. Definitely keeping that family in my thoughts, how tragic it must be for them & hugging these children snuggled in their beds tight tonight for both Mtn & i.. Such a special family we have, between us - all Our children combined, two cutiepie furbabies & friends we love so.. i count my blessings, indeed tonight.. ♥ |
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Quote:
the compass knows the direction :) |
Friends
Friendship....assessing friendship. Evaluating relationships with long-time friends is a tough thing. Why do I feel closer to someone I've known for a few months, than I do to my "close friend" who I've known for 7 years? Something is wrong with that picture. Seriously wrong. I don't feel happy or good when I talk to her, and sometimes it's even a challenge to have fun when we spend time together. She takes forever to return my calls & texts (if at all). So I've started to distance myself just a little. And I don't think she has even noticed. I want to have good friendships with positive, wonderful people. But ending a friendship is a drastic step.
So this is what's on my mind. :thinking: |
I feel claustrophobic today....(nothing negative, just bothers me some days and not others)... and, I have a love hate thing with water (my uncle used to try to smother us when he washed our hair)....my bath water didn't feel good this morning, so I didn't soak long... wonder what it would be like to soak in a chocolate spa at Hershey? Or a mud bath at Hot Springs? :)
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A lot of things, worried about if in the next few months will i be able to move where i want to move, and getting everything caught up.
On the upside I am glad it is the weekend and tomorrow I get to sleep in and relax. |
...wondering where my mind has gone :sunglass:
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How am I supposed to keep a seven year old ninja stealth specialist out of goodies and sweets at 4:30 in the morning when I was up doing homework and trying to wind down till midnight?
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I'm on a work appointment and my tricep is spasming. It's driving me nuts.
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My newest staff member just gave notice, sort of. Tomorrow is his last day. I don't blame him for bailing. The job he is leaving is only temporary through July. He's taking a 3 year contract job in a different part of the state and his start date for his new job is in 2 weeks, so he has to find a new place and move. I get it. I'm just really annoyed. I just got him trained to the point he's reliable. ... Pardon my pity party. It's a helluva way to start the work day. :(
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Quote:
*sigh* That sucks for you. I hope you find someone soon. |
I went to dinner tonight with my BFF of 20 years. I love her more than words. She was diagnosed last year with breast cancer. It's amazing to me how for so many years, I never knew anyone with cancer and then - I literally lost three people I cared deeply about to cancer last year and four friends were newly diagnosed all within a matter of months. Somehow buying something pink just doesn't cut it. It's a powerless feeling.
A diagnosis of fear. Truly. |
I am a bit nervous about my interview tomorrow. It has been many years since I have had to look for a job and I am out of practice. I am glad it isn't until 3pm, so at least I will have the time to sleep in if I can't drop off tonight.
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How good my reality feels.
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How to get Mr. Bob Villa to come and fix This Old House
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You can tell a lot about a person from their home décor and the things adorning their walls and display cabinets; my walls are covered with various tribal wooden carvings and artworks from NZ (ancestral), Africa and Asia, along with decorative plates and hand embroideries….my cabinets with ornaments from my travels, etc.
My home looks like a small Museum entwined with feminine Shabby Chic and what seem like a gazillion cushions and hand embroidered blankets. My dinning room looks more like an Arts and sewing studio than a place for actually eating! LOL! Ks’ home is a complete contrast to mine; nicely decorated in white (it felt a little like sitting in a posh snow blizzard! LOL!), and the walls have pictures hanging symmetrically. Her ornaments placed almost regimentally (it’s easy to see hy was an Army Medic for 25 years! LOL! No wonder the patients don’t give her any hassle, lol!). I felt a little nervous having lunch there yesterday in case I accidently spilt my tea, lol! We are complete opposites of each other, yet, we share, believe and feel the same about things, only, we come at them from different perspectives….maybe opposites really do attract! |
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