Dealing with PCOS while I already don't feel good. Back hurts, sides hurt, couldn't even finish shopping today. Just stresses me out, causing me to be upset and cry cause I hate feeling like I can't do everything all the time.

missing my girls....

missing my lil Cricket...

I really wish they were here with me...all of them....

My daughter left today for Illinois to help care for her Father, and i am so proud of her for putting her life on hold to help out.

I got a little teary eyed when she took off.

This is from a couple days ago...being able to apologize to my first partner for the way I treated our friendship after our breakup, and having her graciously and lovingly accept my apology.

*waterworks*

my wonderful older, grown up daughter calls me to tell me that a close friend of mine and the family (my partner and I started the adoption process from China with them) died suddenly today.

I am in shock and crying but I hold in my heart my daughter calling and saying "I don't know how to break this to you easily" she told me and she said that there never is an easy way to take this in. She made sure that we were all going to go to the family. She reached out to her friend right away. I admire her strength and her ability to not shy away from the hard things in life. Maybe I did something right. My children are beautiful, caring kind people and citizens of this world.

Second degree burns across the fingers and part of my palm on my right hand. Blisters formed almost immediately. Trip to ER... Just got home..... geezus.....

Pain is unpleasant. But tolerable .. gotta love pain killers and modern medicine. (f)(f)(f)

Please send chocolate ....

Finding out one of my cousin's baby twins died from SIDS. I just held him 2 weeks ago...

What made me scream and cry...
I just fell up the brick porch steps rammed both legs into brick just below knee. Had caught toes on bottom step where rain recently washed dirt away. Am waiting on roommate to get home. May have broke left leg.
So much for plans to grill my rainbow trout tonight.Dammit.

I'm not crying now but I am worried and scared. Ice is helping some with swelling but not pain.

I was coming into the house from the garage and paying attention to the dogs so that they didn't get out. Well, when I slammed the door shut behind me, my left ring finger got smashed! Talk about painful. I had a good cry, put some ice on it and got over it but hell.. it hurt! Still does... aside from the blood collection under my nail, I think I'll live.

yesterday...

the unfairness of the aging process....

secrets

tired of holding onto them

scared to letting them go

one way of feeling in control is in not moving forward

there is a temporary comfort in that

Remembrance
 

I don't cry..... :bigcry: (Yeah...right)

I don't remember the last time I cried. Was a while ago.

Being all alone in this cold cold world...

I needed a Christmas card for my Mom, so off to Target I go. I went to the card aisle and a card caught my eye. All I saw was Mom. As I pulled it up out of the slot, the words...and Dad, appear. I totally lost it. This is the first year, my Dad is not included in my card I send. As I stood there with, big tears coming down, I frantically looked for the , just Mother section. Of course, next to it was to Dad from daughter. I stood there and had a moment.

I really hate the fact my Mom has to be alone on Christmas. She has great friends that will see to it she won't be. I'll take comfort in that.