I can't wait to hear her voice again,, and see her smiling face..And hear those words she tells only me...WIth the feelin I cannot replace....I Love You With All that I am and All I shall be..OOXX

I can close my eyes ... and feel her closeness beside me ...
the touch of her small hand squeezing mine.

Smell her hair ...


I sense her ... the same as if it were yesterday.

my bed is calling my name lol. good night folks

I am getting Ed Hardy frames for my new glasses! OMG I cant wait! They are so HOT!

lack of Monday morning motivation

This headache... I have gotten out of practice dealing with teenage boy's attitudes. Guess if I'm gonna work in a shelter I might better have plenty ibuprofen on hand. :|

If only I had tomorrow off.

That I'm pissy right now.

Many, many things... mostly I am thinking about how vulnerable feels strong more and more often.

And learning about love... more about what it feels like for me. Which is self centered, a bit, to say I suppose. Not how to help others feel it or what love isn't but what it is. Like on the heart's list of what love is.. the what it isn't side is finally filled up and the light shines on the what it is part. And damn if it isn't crystal clear...just what it is..

looking for some real friendship

Happy Heart Day brings lots of candies ;):jester:

So last night I'm back to work after a week off only to find out big changes are round the corner. As they have already sent tons of our work to Manila my coworkers and I wonder how long we will be employed. I feel blessed to have held this job for the last 12 years and two takeovers and had hoped to retire with them..but guess I'll deal with what may come.

I was getting dressed this morning and cringing about the 8 pounds that I want/need to lose. Then it hit me that if that's the worst problem that I have, it's not that bad.

A friend of mine called earlier and told me that he may be losing his job. I felt so bad for him and tried to tell him about his options and that he has support. But I guess if I were in his shoes I'd be in a panic too.

So, now I'm counting my blessings and pushing myself to look at what's important. If I have the extra weight it means that I have food in the house and I have a roof over my head. It could be so much worse than a few extra pounds.

The things that are on my mind

How you have to experience such enormous amounts of pain so you can finally enjoy the good things that happen to you no matter how remotely small they are. You can appreciate and cherish these things or people.

If someone tells you you'll never make it, they tell you this because their fear and their own insecurities and they're scared of being alone and left behind.

If someone tells you you're ugly, it's really not about you it's about how they feel about themselves.

If someone tells you no one will love you or accept you for you, that's really how they feel about themselves and it's their inner issue not yours.

How you should never give up, even if others only want to see you fail. Prove them wrong.

No idea is a stupid idea, that it may take time but do what you can do today and keep on working on what you want to achieve for the future.

That even when you're faced with negativity, do not allow it to bring you down, that's what others want. Remain positive and keep reaching for your dreams and aspirations, you can do it, you just have to keep the faith in yourself.

Surround yourself with positive people. It's easier to fall into the negative and give up than struggle and keep going forward. Only you can prevent yourself from reaching for the stars and making your future the best it can be.

Weed out the acquaintances and keep your real friends by your side. Because those that care will always matter and those that don't will only be a step from walking away, using you, or abusing you.

Never wish harm on anyone. Their Karma will be what they do to you, your Karma will be how you respond.

Always laugh, no matter the amount of pain or the intensity of the situation. Laughter is healing, within your mind, your body, your heart, your soul and your spirit. Be the best for you.

Never compromise your personal safety, security, or anything about yourself for someone else.

Sagittarius: The Moon's visit to your sign makes it tougher to separate your personal needs from a situation that demands objectivity. You might not even realize that your feelings are coloring your perceptions. But you can tell that interactions with others are complicated by powerful emotions that make calm conversation difficult. Everything seems more stressful now, yet diving into the complexities will get you closer to the truth and teach you something important about yourself in the process.

I'm so fucking flighty today. My mind is racing in circles over the most random things. Currently I'm being distracted by several thoughts at once: Have the flyers arrived? I wonder what I should have to eat? Did I put rainboots on the Easter list? If I did I guess I should remove them. I want chocolate. I hope my babez is feeling better. Maybe chocolate would help? I wonder if there's chocolate on sale this week. And repeat.

I wonder if there's a magic ball that will tell me when I'll meet my soulmate. Hmmm, I wonder? :)

all the moments in between now and forever don't change the right now. that by phone, message or exhausted sigh this is the place to lay it down.

On my mind is why the hell does my nose feel like I have snorted a pound of pepper.

I need a love charm to wear around my neck. One that will attract Femmes. Can one really be made and does it work? I'm willing to try because it's been 5 years and I think ready to bring in new friends and slow love. I feel the itch.

I am thrilled that even though she just wants to be friends, I still had a very awesome Valentines dinner and evening with her. She is amazing and even though we will just be friends, she is going to be a friend that I cherish forever. It doesn't hurt either that she thinks I am amazing.

lots of things.... wondering what I want and what I am willing to put up with.

Friday Friday Friday :) :cigar2:

So I found out last night that starting Mon I will be training my replacements at work (who will be taking over my job) for the next three weeks, still no word as to what my group will be doing or if the next three will be it. Sigh

Dang I was just rejected for a job I was told was mine and that I really wanted. I am so bummed...

on my mind ... Sagittarius ...

Thursday, Feb 16, 2012 -- You might believe that your time is running out, which can provoke you to take an unnecessary risk. You may be concerned that anything you do now is too little or too late. Although your fears could be unfounded, consciously moving in the right direction is a smart idea while the Moon is still in your sign. You would be wise to begin your new journey today and build on your current actions over the weeks ahead.

Friday, Feb 17, 2012 -- You might have to stand up to a powerful adversary today because your plan is contrary to the accepted one. Unfortunately, your friends or co-workers may be too quick to take the easy way out of a difficult situation. However, they don't understand how stubborn you can be now as you adhere to your values over convenience. Although your unwavering idealism is admirable, you can take things too far. Don't be so obstinate that you cannot see the goals you already have in common.

Sagittarius: Saturday, Feb 18, 2012 -- You would like to step off the emotional roller-coaster today, but ending your ride prematurely isn't wise because your life is about to get a lot less difficult. Holding on through all the ups and downs earns you success now as things begin to smooth out. But if you miss all the excitement, just remind yourself that it's only a distraction. Your perseverance goes a long way to bringing you what you want.



.............. o.0 ................ That's interesting. I could stand for life to get less ... flaky? ... To attain some kind of clarity, feel as if I've some successes. Heck, I'd settle for some direction, seeing something stable approaching in my future. ... Somehow I don't think all of that will arrive on my doorstep in the morning. But hey! I'm willing to be open-minded and prepared. If opportunity knocks, I'll greet it in my fuzzy slippers and offer it coffee. *LOL*

Sleep. I'll go do that now.

:beddybye:

You must have read my mind, or it's going around.