You are not alone. Lost my mom in '85, dad in 1991, and older, estranged brother in 2001. That's the end of a branch of our family tree ( no other siblings, one lost niece).

Your pain may never completely leave, but I wish for you my course. May your daily thoughts about family gone before, turn to memories of the good times had together. Sadness to thankfulness of the good times. Pain turns to nostalgia. Nostalgia wanes to thoughts of life's gifts. That you had time to cultivate memories to help shield from the pain of having them gone.

Regrets
 

Those to whom I didn't give it up.

Not sure why this is on my mind, but I think about this every now and then.

Catch and Release
 

Me.
This is going to be one long ass journey. Like the song from talking heads "once in a lifetime",that's the only way I can explain it to myself. I've lost all my family but she hasn't and she'll be fine. Okay, now I'm thinking about my wife.

:popcorn:

My “friend”.. she’s been on my mind every day. I think we may have reached the point that our friendship expired and I can accept that because lately it feels like it brings more negativity than positivity into our lives. I just hope she knows how much she has meant to me and that she is my favourite person I have ever known. She gave me light when the rest of my world went dark and I will be grateful to her for the rest of my life. I want nothing but the best for her and I’m always here if she needs to talk, but I see that I am not what she needs or wants in her life right now. I am sending her nothing but love and happiness in her life xo

I'm thinking of the woman who raised me. She died in 1992, but my sadness stays with me. She was elderly, and she allowed me to care for her while she was dying. Her passing was expected, but I spent a year in deep grief none the less. That sadness becomes a part of your life once it ceases to be your whole life, but it doesn't ever leave.

My gf...

Im awaiting news to see if shes staying in the hospital or not.

Bronchitis, strep and high fever.


Bad part is I cant do anything to help out and I feel like total shit.

Today Abby is on my mind. I had a phone call from a good friend that i have known since I was 16. We got to talking about people from our past and she mentioned Abby. Abby is the person I would consider my first love. We dated for a long time and she was in the closet and unsure of herself. My friend told me today that she has come out and figured out all about herself and she is even married!

I can't help but smile for her. So awesome to know that she figured it out and even flourished in her life.

Who
 

My friend Gecko and I chatted all day. She is an artist and a dear friend of 38 years. She decorated my current house 15 years ago. She agreed to help me design my Maine home, yay!


Anyone from NYC, Gecko was a famous profomance artist in lower Manhattan.

I am thrilled.

I forgot to mention that we performed together a few times in Drag shows. She is truly the talent. Haha!

On my mind
 

My physical therapist, he is filling in for my main guy but I like him so much better. He only touches my shoulder and I can feel that he is a natural healer. He is sweet, kind, and he laughs at my jokes.

My main guy comes back next week but I want to keep the guy mentioned above. The main guy is rough, way too touchy, always grabbing my body, and he feels like a bear on top of me. He is so different from my sweet healer.
I think there is going to be an awkward conversation next week when I request to stay with my healer.

Thinking of
 

My sweet sister. Yesterday I received so many nice things , cards and wishes but not from my sister . She has been gone for two years now and she always made my birthday special, an email, a snail card and a phone call. We always did on our birthdays but not yesterday. I think of her every day but yesterday hit me super hard. Love you Shirley and think of you often,.

My cousin Karen (a.k.a. Pete). Today makes eight years since she's been gone. I still miss her terribly. My life would be better if she were here to talk to.

I talked to my natural healer at PT today and he said that he will stay with me until I don't need physical therapy anymore. I am so happy!

:cowboy:

~~
Who: My Chicago traveling companion! WHY: We just got off the phone...:phonegab:

Myself for once...

Im sick and I really need to take time/care of myself for a change.

Who: one of my exes from long ago, in my early 20s

Why: I have no idea

She and I were so similar in the way we grew up. We could talk about things like home canning, gardening, cooking, and holiday traditions. I broke up with her because she drove me crazy as a girlfriend, and I was young and didn't have those coping skills yet. However, she was a great friend. We grew farther apart when she met her girlfriend of 20 years, who was a total biatch, to the extent that she kept us apart. Now her ex is gone, and she has a new love. I keep up with her occasionally through FB, but we're not close at all. I think of her at the oddest times, like when I'm shelling peas, or making chicken soup, or taking out the Christmas ornaments. I still remember conversations we had over these things. I guess I still miss her a bit.

Jimmy Carter. He fell at home again and I'm nervous.

I so enjoy reading posts about fond memories of ex's.....

~~
WHO: My friend in Chicago........
WHY: She completely forgot about the time changed and called a tad to early!!!