You would be surprised how many people hide or change who they really are inside trying to "be" what you want. Eventually it all comes out, usually attached to resentment.

Even when you're angry at your partner, maintain the relationship rituals. In other words, if it's your "job" to make coffee in the morning, make it even if you're still pissed off from the argument you had the night before. Don't take out your anger by undermining the rituals that reinforce the relationship. (easier said than done sometimes, I know...lord, do I know.)

Do something physical together other than sex. Dance, wrestle, build something, do partner yoga, anything that connects you physically as a team or even as adversaries. This well help energize your physical connection.

Be kind.

No matter how angry you are, this person is not your enemy.

Remember that you're an essential part of his or her life and your moods and behaviour DO matter.

Yeah, eventually it comes out because how could it not? i guess i know that some people are on best behavior for a long time and some develop new interests. But no one could really pull this off. It's not to the rest of our credit that we do not. Making the attempt is immature at best. And success is simply impossible unless one is Chauncey Gardiner.

i totally agree. Getting in sync when you are doing something is a cool thing.

Be present in all manner and matter.

Always fight fair...don't allow your emotions to rule you, rule them.

DO
 

DO
~speak out the minute you start to have a problem. Don't wait until it's big and you're fuming about it to bring it up. Remember they can't read minds.

~take your partner at their word. Don't read too much into their actions. Trust that they mean what they say.

~get out of the relationship if the trust is gone. Sometimes it's damaged and can be rebuilt, but when it's gone, it's GONE.

~laugh, a lot, together.

~get out of the house. One of you is bound to go stir crazy.

~have separate activities and interests and friends, but have some together too.

~be clear about what you want out of life, and life together. People who care will live up to reasonable expectations, and if you care, you will too.

~think before you speak or write about your partner. Assume they can hear you at all times, even if they're not there.

~buy/make small thoughtful gifts for no reason, doesn't matter if you're butch or femme. Everyone likes to know they're being though of