Hmmmmmmmmm
 

*Strolls in, takes a look*

Happy Hump Day!

Hey yall! Hope everyone is well and had a great hump day!

heyyyyyyyyyyyy there miss July...... ltns. lol

i havnt been posting much. been busy wth work and all...

wondering ....... what kind of girls these guys are interested in .. in there here thread.. :)

Kudos to the person/people who started this thread!
 

Hello all you singles! I hardly ever post in threads, however, I saw this one and

felt "at home". Dating is much more challenging, in my experience, as a

transman, so I was wondering if I could have other people's input if they felt

comfortable sharing? Can other guys relate to this?

A question for those who admire us: What types of characteristics in an FTM/Transman attracts you to us? Turns you off?

*I appreciate and respect the honesty and incite anyone would like to share!

Jarrek, good to see you here and good questions for the ladies, I am anxious to hear what they have to say.

I can only speak for my personal preferences as an admirer, but I am attracted to masculinity and, as such, most of the guys I date exemplify that. I also very much enjoy relationships with transmen who are open about their transition and like to spend hours deconstructing gender and talking about their experiences with gender and privilege. It keeps me mindful of my own privilege and helps me be more compassionate.

I have noticed a bit of a propensity toward short-tempered-ness (that's not even a word) but I really can't say for sure if it is related to the individuals being trans, or just part of their innate personality. Either way, it is frightening to me, and is a big turn-off.

I couldn't have said it better myself! Awesome!

Just thought I would stop by and say hello......
Dakota

I also crave the masculinity from transmen and I could not agree more with this statement.
Thank you for putting it into words.

Thank you, Ladies!
 

Aggression is definitely a high-ranked concern amongst the side effects of

HRT.

My intent is to help with these concerns and promote further

education/resources about these topics. My hope is to establish a safe,

positive, open-minded space where we can all communicate effectively. :-)

I posted a passage, below, taken from Hudson's FTM Resource Guide. (I

highly recommend this site to anyone who is interested in the facts about the

transition process. Literally, it covers everything from boobs to nuts. LOL

www.ftmguide.org )



MYTHS ABOUT TESTOSTERONE

Myth #1: Taking testosterone ("T") for transition will make trans men uncontrollably angry and volatile, or cause "'roid rage."

This is one of the most common myths about FTM transsexuals who take testosterone, but there is no compelling evidence to support such a sweeping generalization. Indeed, while some trans men anecdotally report feeling shorter tempered or irritable for a period after starting T, many others report that they feel calmer and more even-tempered since taking T. Yet time and again, trans men and their loved ones voice fear that taking testosterone will somehow automatically change an FTM transsexual into a terrible, angry, or violent person.

This myth probably gets some of its fuel from stories about "steroid" use causing anger or volatility (often called "'roid rage") in bodybuilders and other athletes who take performance enhancing drugs. In order to understand the differences between athletic "steroid" use and testosterone therapy as taken by trans men, it pays to explore exactly what "steroids" mean in each context.


Steroids and "'Roid Rage"

The term "steroid" technically refers to a lipid molecule characterized by a carbon structure with four fused rings (three cyclohexanes and one cyclopentane). Hundreds of distinct steroids have been identified in plants, animals, and fungi. In humans and animals, hormones such as testosterone, estrogen, and progesterone-- as well as the cholesterol molecule-- all technically belong to the "steroid" family.

When used in the context of drugs taken to enhance athletic performance, the term "steroids" is a blanket term that refers to anabolic (muscle/tissue-building) substances such as testosterone and other synthetic steroid hormones (nandrolone, oxandrolone, etc.), as well as non-steroid compounds such as estrogen blockers, human growth hormone (HGH), clenbuterol, cytomel, and a myriad of other supplements and substances. These substances are typically used in concert to enhance muscle-growth, strength, and recovery time for athletes, as well as to block estrogenic side-effects, discourage water retention, increase fat-burning, and alter other metabolic processes (depending on the desired results). In other words, when people refer to "steroids" in the context of athletic performance, they are often referring to many substances (some technically steroids and some not) that are being taken in a particular pattern to optimize desired performance results.

The goal of testosterone therapy in a transsexual man is to bring the level of T in his body into what is considered a healthy male range in order to induce and maintain masculine secondary sex characteristics such as lowering of the voice, a masculine pattern of fat and muscle distribution, facial and body hair growth, and so on. A trans man's hormone regimen is also usually aimed at keeping a steady and healthy level of T in his system over his lifetime.

This contrasts the purpose of testosterone use by bodybuilders and athletes, which is to elevate the level of testosterone in the body to an unusually high level in order to quickly produce desired performance results such as bigger muscles, increased strength, increased muscle recovery time, more power, and so on. The amount of testosterone that is used by some performance-driven athletes and bodybuilders is typically much higher per dose and in frequency than the amount used by trans men for transition and lifetime maintenance. Additionally, as mentioned above, "steroid" users are often using an entire battery of drugs in addition to testosterone (or another anabolic steroid), depending on the goals of the athlete. Steroid use is often "cycled" in these cases in varying patterns.

Because of these many differences, comparing the T use of most trans men with that of "steroid" use in bodybuilders and athletes is a bit like comparing apples and oranges. So fears of rampant "roid rage" in a transitioning FTM transsexuals are ill-founded at best.


Hormone levels and moods


It is important to point out that hormone levels in the human body are part of a delicate balance which involves complex feedback systems. (For basic information on this topic, see the section "Hormones and the body: a brief overview"). It is reasonable to assume that changing the levels of hormones in our systems may have an effect on us, both physically and emotionally. Any woman who has suffered with premenstrual syndrome, or any man who has suffered with low testosterone levels can attest to this possibility. However, some physical and emotional effects of changing hormonal balance may be related to the levels of the hormones in question, or with dramatic changes in hormone levels, rather than the simple presence of the hormones themselves. For example, one of the symptoms that is sometimes seen in men with low levels of testosterone is irritability. In such cases, it does not seem to be the testosterone itself that is causing the irritability, but rather the fact that the level of testosterone is considered low. Thus, those who declare a simple relationship between testosterone and negative moods may wish to reconsider how the levels and overall balance of various hormones (as well as other factors such as environment) may come into play; indeed, such relationships are not yet fully understood by medical science.

When a trans guy first begins testosterone therapy, he might experience some mood shifts. This is normal, because beginning T therapy is usually a significant emotional moment in a trans person's life, and also because his body is beginning a major hormonal shift. As mentioned above, some trans men do anecdotally report feeling quicker to anger or a shorter temper; but many others report a calming effect, and/or a lifting of depressive feelings. Others report very few changes in mood, while some only notice mood differences the day or two before their next shot (they may feel more tired or irritable when testosterone levels have reached a low in their shot cycle). Some find their moods even out with time or an adjusted dosing regimen.

Whatever the case, if a trans man or his loved ones notice significant mood changes that don't settle themselves over time, he may wish to discuss adjusting his T dosing pattern with his doctor. He may also wish to consider whether those mood changes are related to the events going on in his life. Transition can be a time of major change in social life, home life, and work life, all of which can have a tremendous effect on one's moods. Talking to a therapist or a peer support group can help ease such changes.


Testosterone and gender stereotypes


Early on in transition, some trans men (but certainly not all) can become consumed with worries about how they believe men should look, speak, act, and/or feel about the world around them. This is understandable to a degree, as transition can be a trying time, and early transition in particular involves a certain amount of adaptation to change. During such a heady time, a trans man and those around him might be quick to assign his every emotion or action (negative or positive) to the testosterone in his system. However, it is important to remember that each individual's own beliefs and stereotypes about men and women-- as well as their own pre-existing personality traits-- may also play into their behavior as they adapt to the changes of transition. Blaming testosterone for every possible negative action or feeling is an easy scapegoat for what might just be bad behavior or poor individual coping strategies.

Testosterone is only one factor in transition, and not everyone responds to it in the same way. This is not to deny that testosterone can and does have significant effects on the moods and feelings of some trans guys, but rather to point out that many factors play into a person's behaviors. You can meet ten different trans people on the exact same dosing schedule of testosterone, and they may have ten different transition experiences!

In short, simply taking testosterone will not create a monster. Changes in our hormones may affect each of us differently, but much of the worry about T and FTM transition is based in fear and misunderstandings, rather than on a large-scale survey of actual trans men on T therapy.

Grammar Police!
 

Incite = Insight. My bad.

From my own experience, it appears that T has really mellowed me out. I'm certainly no Mr. Spock but it takes a lot to get an emotionally charged response from me.

I believe that my statement is getting a little bit misinterpreted here. While I am aware that sometimes there are fears expressed regarding an individual's starting HRT and the supposed anger issues, I don't subscribe to that school.

In my original post I stated that I wasn't sure if it was due to them being trans, not being on HRT. What I should have said to make my thoughts more clear is that I am not sure if the irritability is tied to the individual's innate personality (i.e. they are naturally a crankypants) or if the way they are experiencing their transition emotionally/mentally is far more influential in their interactions with others than they are able to comfortably express. I have seen a bit of hypermasculinity in some people I know, and perhaps the insecurity associated with it also plays into a shorter temper.

Luckily, I have the benefit of being active in the queer community and seeing firsthand that there are a lot of good guys who don't struggle with those types of things.

I apologize if I have offended anyone. I can assure you, no offense was meant.

Thanks, hon! And I appreciate your input that you have similar experiences with butches. Gives me a lot to think about. :)

I have not taken offense to what you have written. The meaning of my post was to help give insight on the many factors that play into transition, for transmen. It was nothing more than an educational tool to help others know more about themselves, especially those new in the process, and to help SOFFA's. I posted this out of good intentions.
:aslpeacelove:

Thank you for your post. It was really enlightening and shares a lot of great information. It's a really good resource to have in the thread! There's no doubt in my mind that your intentions are noble, and we're lucky that you have this info to share.

Also, thanks for the reassurance. I always worry that I will say something that comes across as offensive.

Hey...rushing in, and then going to bed.

It snowed today - woke up to a sprinkling of the white crap on the leaves - ugh! Luckily tomorrow it will be in the 50's...have to take my son to see his grandparent's from his bio side, and then despite a cold I suddenly got, I have to rake the leaf piles and get them up before it actually decides to snow and kill the rest of the grass!

**peeking in **

hey ya singles....... wow a lot to catch up on here.
been busy running the highways to towns and cities near you .. lol
hey is anyone getting on that christmas card exchange thingie?? i been on it for a few seasons now. its kinda a fun and nice thing to do..

welp bbl..... :)

I've been thinking about this since you posted this question. I'm at a really weird transitional stage. Some days I pass completely and some days I don't. About a month ago, I had a car accident and every person at the scene addressed me as sir or bud except for the officer who saw my drivers license. However, he didn't front me out. Anyway, a woman stopped to offer assistance and seemed to be interested. Later, I realized that she was. She stayed with me throughout the ordeal and gave me a ride home. Later she comes to my house to "check on me." We exchanged numbers. I didn't feel obligated to explain my situation at that time. I wanted to wait until she got to know me a little better. Anyway, she goes to my work and asked my co-workers about me. I've only told a couple of people that I'm transgendered. I live in the bible belt. I'm waiting until I graduate from grad school and move to more liberal area before I come out completely. So, a co-worker corrects her when she addresses me as he or him. After that, she completely cuts off all communication with me. So, I just left her alone and respected her wishes. I didn't try to explain myself or justify my actions. I just left it alone. Throughout the whole ordeal I struggled with it. The whole situation made me feel uncomfortable. I'm sure it really embarrassed her. It was very awkward. I hope this will be easier to deal with after I move. I really don't want people to know until I choose to tell them. I'm not planning on dating straight woman without telling them. But, I would like to get to know someone before I reveal something so personal to me. So, dating has been more difficult for me.

I do not understand why people are so closed minded and so prejudiced! Maybe I am an :alieninjar: or something! I just don't get it! Maybe people should follow some of them around for awhile and see what makes them so "lily white"! UGH!

Bumping
 

Hey all. Would love to see this thread get more involved. :sunglass:

In Agreement ~
 

I couldn't agree more with the awkward part of timing.
I lived 2/3 of my life as a confident often cocky butch, before my
transition. Out and Proud, front line, flag carrying member of an incredible
movement. I say I'm living my life back ass wards.. lol
Was out and proud, fearless
Now closet case, hard to know where ya fit in, who to tell, who
will see something worth keeping.
I'm no newbie to transition, but I sure haven't got it figured out.
I recently came here, to make some friends, try to feel connected, make
some connections.
Looking forward to the posts
TEX


" Character, what you do when no one is looking. "

Well, I was at dinner with a friend the other night, and the server referred to us as "ladies" again. I'm sick to death of being the one who gets all agitated and flatly states "he's a boy". Inevitably the server gets flustered and apologizes, and this person whom I've known for years now just sits there silently. I know he's pissed because he passes 100% of the time, it's just his voice that is the problem. He's property of the US government for the next 8 years, and while DADT has been repealed, being trans is still a big no-no.

I wish I knew how to handle these situations. I just get so outraged. One of us has to say something, and I know he doesn't correct people because he's too busy being in shock. Any suggestions? I'm not afraid to stand up and say something, I just wish it was less awkward.

I have been this thread daily and I have never met a trans person in my life, but I feel what you all are going through.

I wish this was a time everyone was open-minded but sadly things are not like that. I would love someone no matter who or what they were so long as they are a good person.

I think humor goes a long way in situations like this, and laughter seems to quickly diffuse the tension for everyone in a scenario like the one you described.

Comments directed to your friend, while the server is present after their faux pas, such as, "Gee, I bet you wish you hadn't taken your Mama's Midol when you were a little boy!" or "Wayne Newton did well in Vegas with his voice, maybe we should go there."

It doesn't matter that Midol could never alter someone's voice, nor that your friend would never dream of singing in front of people. You are not jumping the server, and you are being supportive of your male friend, and hopefully everyone is smiling.

Hey there, hi there, ho there.....been around, just not :jester: - had some bank issues, today that is straightened out, then I find out my son is spending my $$ at the academy, and NOT saying anything about it! :readfineprint: BUT now I know....I will NEVER be out from "under" - :worried:

Just saying hello to everyone too! Hope the week is going swimmingly well ... quick, effortless and full of smiles.

Hi everyone! :)

Single FTM seeks single femme for fun and flirting.

Me: old fashion, charming, Stone Top, mad skills, silly, sweet, and happy to stay single.

You: live within a couple hours or so from the bay area/sacramento, very feminine, sexual bottom, sweet, kind, level headed, up for some fun, not looking to get serious.

I don't have a lot of money for expensive dates. I am just looking for some light dating and sex without commitment. Safe sex is a must. Thanks for reading! :D

I don't know where else to put this, but I have to get it out, so I hope you all don't mind me putting it here.



One of my close friends is in the beginning stages of transition. We went to Friendly's because he had just finished a long recording session, and I'm never one to turn down ice cream. As is my custom, I survey the table we are going to be seated at, and position myself to best avoid conflict. I noticed that the table to the left had two high school aged girls facing our table, and the table to the right was unoccupied, so of course I sat on the right so I could keep an eye on the high schooler situation. Five minutes after we sat down they both got up to "go to the bathroom" and peeked over at our table repeatedly as they passed. Fifteen minutes later one of them went to the bathroom again. As they were about to leave, both of them went to the bathroom AGAIN, and on their way back, as they're standing next to our table one looks at the other and says "oh my god you're right, it IS a girl".

They went up to the front counter and stood next to their mother and I turned ten shades of red. My friend looked at me with big eyes and said quietly "did that really just happen?" I had a five second debate with myself, tossed my phone on the table, and got up. I walked up to those two girls and I said to them "It is completely inappropriate to repeatedly walk by someone's table and look at their chest to try and determine their gender. Furthermore, you should use "he or she" if you think someone is a boy or a girl. The use of the word "it" is completely dehumanizing and utterly unacceptable." Then I turned around and went back to my table to try and comfort my friend, who was shattered by the whole experience.

I put my happy face on and joked, cheered up my friend, and kept an eagle eye on those two girls who were with their mother in the front entryway, gesturing wildly. Luckily, they left.

Our waitress came over to our table and asked if we needed anything else. I apologized for causing a scene, and she said "Honestly, I heard them talking but I had no idea they were harassing you. If I had known something was going to happen, I would have had it taken care of. I'm so sorry, they need to grow up".

I was so angry I was shaking, but I never once raised my voice with those girls, and our waitress was on our side. Now if only we could get to the point where people don't have to act like this and hurt others.

Thanks for listening, all. Let me know if this should be moved to a diff thread.