Butch Femme Planet

Butch Femme Planet (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/index.php)
-   Body Beauty, Lifestyles (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=124)
-   -   Healthy Weight Loss (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2638)

deedarino 05-16-2012 09:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lady_Di (Post 586241)
I don't mind flapping, per se. I do love birds. lol... Birds of a Feather, a queer retirement community in Santa Fe, NM... but I digress yet again.

I want the surgery as imo and the doctors is it medically necessary as it is a health hazard. Have had more than one patient with terrible skin underneath those folds. They keep it as clean as they can, and yet still yeast and what not can and do grow in dark moist areas. Not even gonna tell you some of the stuff I have seen growing on some folks!

Another even bigger issue, imnsho... is that there is real danger especially for people over menopausal age, whatever that may be. Our skin as we age gets thinner, that is pretty much part of everyone's aging process. As part of that, one of the problems often encountered is skin tears. I am not a diabetic or anything, have beautiful labs, as I mentioned earlier today. But... a skin tear allows bacterias and viruses to get past our biggest defense system. Skin integrity is a big big huge issue imo. Thus to prevent the possibility of a skin tear, or at least lessen the possibility... getting rid of the flapping is just simple physics, it tears easier when it is flapping about all over the place.

Want to know an accident I had many many years ago? My long breast flapping away as they do when I run... well... no easy way to say it, but as I was running past our bedroom door one day, high up on our mountain top... I was running full speed ahead because I heard someone coming up my private road, turns out it was just my dad. BUT.... I was naked at the time and the bloody tit got hung up on the door handle of the bedroom. One of those french door handles... it speared me thru my tit. Quite literally I had to unhook my breast off the handle. I screamed bloody murder. I was not in pain, as I have a really really high pain tolerance, and I probably was in shock when it happened. My dad got me to the emergency room and all the lovely interns go to come see the freak accident of the flying breast, lol... the nurse sewed me up with no anesthetic, didn't bother me one bit.

Was actually pretty cool to see the inside of my breast tissue. I had at that time some really big fat cells. You could see them quite clearly, each one individually was simply huge!

Seeee..... skin flapping around can be really bad for your health. The other lesson I learned... aside from not sitting around naked sewing all day up on my mountain top cabin, was to not panic. I am sure my dad has seen a naked woman before. It really was not a big deal. I would not run today if someone suddenly shows up and I am nekkid. I would cover up, calmly and rationally....


oh the things we learn as we grow up, no?

d'silly grrrrl of the Rocky Mountains


OMG I am mortified and freakin' dyin over here at the same time!!! LOLOL

So sorry for your....well...you know...

*Giving the girls a little squeeze of appreciation*

Lady_Di 05-16-2012 10:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by canmarielan (Post 585956)
Hey everyone!

I hope you all are doing well!!

*hugs*

I'm having a bit of a rough patch.

Click here for a little rant where I feel sorry for myself.

Beautifully written blog post. You can contact me anytime. Have sponsored more than one agnostic in my day. Even a couple of atheists~

Take care hon.

One day, one hour, one second at a time. Each moment, is a new beginning or can be.

Never give up on yourself. You are a miracle. And even if you do not believe it, I know it and will continue to love you til you can love yourself.

:fastdraq: d'sheriff

Lady_Di 05-16-2012 10:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deedarino (Post 586243)
OMG I am mortified and freakin' dyin over here at the same time!!! LOLOL

So sorry for your....well...you know...

*Giving the girls a little squeeze of appreciation*

It was hilarious, actually...

:)

sylvie 05-18-2012 08:48 AM


Good morning Healthies.. ♥

Went to my Dietician appt on Wednesday..i didn't gain!
i actually lost 1 lb.. (in 2 months) but.. without exercising or really following my plan, i am happy to know that once i do lose the weight i want to lose, i 'can' & will maintain it!

So, 99 lbs lost total, since April of 2011 - and i got myself back on track.
Yesterday,i went for a 3 1/2 hour long walk, beautiful day & i stopped to visit my godmother's grave and spent some time with her, also found a spot to meditate along the way and meditated along my walk..

By the time i got home, i felt wonderful for the exercise, and much peace within..Today, i just got home from a walk again (am between work shifts) and i feel so strong...

Also, found my triggers from these last couple of months, working on those.
i'm in a healthy, happy place again, and ready to rock this.


sylvie 05-18-2012 09:01 AM

Lady_Di, thank YOU!
So needed the kick in the pants to get back at SparkPeople.
It was doing me so much good motivationwise and i fell off of it..
And really, i love that site..
Going to log on there right now, and get it restarted again and keep at it faithfully..

Candace, (((hugggs))) You got this girl! Lemme know if you wanna skype tonight again. Love how we can motivate each other in different ways. And i'm here for you anytime..♥

JoSchmooze, congratulations on 50 lbs, i seen your pic on fb, and you are rockin it!

Hollylane, you probably won't check in here for a bit, but enjoy your time on the East Coast darlin, i'm super happy for you both ♥

JustJo 05-19-2012 09:24 AM

Hey healthies :)

I haven't posted as much lately...mostly because I've been frustrated and angry and having a little pity party.

So I had my latest doctor's appointment and got my lab results. All is good except that my A1c is up to 7.1 - which is "damage is happening" territory.

Meanwhile I'm exercising faithfully, eating pretty well, dropping weight and frankly looking and feeling better than I have in a long time. The rise in A1c is completely due to going off the Actos....because it may increase the chance of bladder cancer, but it's a darn effective diabetes drug.

So I'm frustrated....because it feels like I'm working hard and doing great and, when it comes to the diabetes, I'm losing anyway.

I'm angry....because it feels like no matter how hard I work it doesn't make enough difference to count....because "other people" can drink soda and eat candy and generally pig out and not have to deal with this disease that would like to blind me and put me in a wheelchair or worse....because I know the judgement is out there in the world that I'm diabetic because I'm lazy or fat or eat garbage, when the reality is that I'm diabetic because of my genetics and all I can do, and only through intense, sustained effort is to moderate the effect of my genetics a tiny bit.

And I'm having a little pity party...because it just isn't fucking fair.

So...my choices, as presented by the doctor:
  • go back on the Actos and monitor urine samples faithfully to catch any cancer early if it happens, but recognize it dramatically increases the risk
  • double up the glimiperide....which I was hoping to get off of completely because it's the drug that makes me feel sick. It also scares me because it forces the pancreas to produce insulin....which feels a little like I'm whipping a tired horse....something that generally doesn't end well.
  • or.....well.....that's it. Those are my choices.

I recognize that in many ways I am fortunate. I have health insurance (with a huge deductible, but still...insurance). I have a good doctor and easy access to medical care. I have the funds to buy healthy food. I have the knowledge of how to cook and eat to maintain my health.

I have it better than many. I know that.

But I also have it worse than many too....who can go eat a candy bar and not have to wonder what it's doing to their eyes, or their feet, or their kidneys, or.....

Leigh 05-19-2012 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustJo
Hey healthies :)

I haven't posted as much lately...mostly because I've been frustrated and angry and having a little pity party.

So I had my latest doctor's appointment and got my lab results. All is good except that my A1c is up to 7.1 - which is "damage is happening" territory.

Meanwhile I'm exercising faithfully, eating pretty well, dropping weight and frankly looking and feeling better than I have in a long time. The rise in A1c is completely due to going off the Actos....because it may increase the chance of bladder cancer, but it's a darn effective diabetes drug.

So I'm frustrated....because it feels like I'm working hard and doing great and, when it comes to the diabetes, I'm losing anyway.

I'm angry....because it feels like no matter how hard I work it doesn't make enough difference to count....because "other people" can drink soda and eat candy and generally pig out and not have to deal with this disease that would like to blind me and put me in a wheelchair or worse....because I know the judgement is out there in the world that I'm diabetic because I'm lazy or fat or eat garbage, when the reality is that I'm diabetic because of my genetics and all I can do, and only through intense, sustained effort is to moderate the effect of my genetics a tiny bit.

And I'm having a little pity party...because it just isn't fucking fair.

So...my choices, as presented by the doctor:
  • go back on the Actos and monitor urine samples faithfully to catch any cancer early if it happens, but recognize it dramatically increases the risk
  • double up the glimiperide....which I was hoping to get off of completely because it's the drug that makes me feel sick. It also scares me because it forces the pancreas to produce insulin....which feels a little like I'm whipping a tired horse....something that generally doesn't end well.
  • or.....well.....that's it. Those are my choices.

I recognize that in many ways I am fortunate. I have health insurance (with a huge deductible, but still...insurance). I have a good doctor and easy access to medical care. I have the funds to buy healthy food. I have the knowledge of how to cook and eat to maintain my health.

I have it better than many. I know that.

But I also have it worse than many too....who can go eat a candy bar and not have to wonder what it's doing to their eyes, or their feet, or their kidneys, or.....

Thank you for posting this :)

justkim 05-20-2012 05:51 PM

When I look in the mirror I still see that FAT girl...
Today I went and got some new clothes for work...
I have been wearing my larger sized clothes to hide...
Hide who I was and who I am becoming... It felt safe... I felt safe...
Then I got the promotion at work and realized I needed to not look so frumpy...
You can not work in this industry and look frumpy...
Even though the sizes were much smaller than I expected, I still saw that FAT girl in the mirror...
I am trying so hard to change how *I* see myself...

imperfect_cupcake 05-20-2012 06:44 PM

It is pretty hard to change the view of self. I have pretty bad body dismorphia at times so I have NO idea how big or small I am. I have lost 23 Kilos. that's over 50 pounds.

Unfortunately about 30 pounds of it was not healthy weight loss. It happend when my wife left me and I stopped eating and shook constantly. I didn't eat for almost a month and then anything solid I ate would cause severe pain and come right back up. I had given myself very bad gastritis an on the way to an ulcer.

So I slowly over another three weeks began to be able to eat.

since then I have completely changed my eating habits and I'm in training. I no longer diet. I eat anything I want but I have found I don't really want much. I can't eat nearly close to what I used to and things like doughnuts take hideous. I still love cheese though.

I don't eat shit not because I'm dieting, but because I don't crave them. I have no idea how this happened. I just don't want them.

I went to therapy to address some of my issues in the marriage and found that my biggest issues that were at the core of everything: my depression, stress reactions, binge eating etc all came from a desperate need for space. Because I caretake too much. I then get burnt out and when I got a couple hours to myself I would carbload so drug myself because of my high stress levels.

since I have noticed that my binge eating is purely about exhaustion, I am far more vigilant about ensuring I have down time, by myself, doing wtf I want. I also listen to soothing hypnosis relaxation cds at night when I go to sleep.

I think this is probably why I don't crave anywhere near to what I used to. My driving myself far too hard and caretaking other people till I collapse. Stressing out and trying to control my environment.

I'm now down to a UK size 16 (US 14) and I want to lose one more size.

The only draw back I've noticed is the attention I'm getting. I'm getting sexually harassed more and I'm finding I get a lot of strange reactions from the dyke community. I am pretty girlie but it seemed my weight made the girly bits ok. Now they seem to suspect me of something but I haven't figured out what. No one talks to me when I go to socials. I have to throw myself at someone to get a conversation.

My feelings are getting hurt quite a bit when I go out. People call me intimidating, predatory, that I will eat someone alive... I have no CLUE where it's coming from but the only things that's changed about me is my size and I have a bit more self confidence. And I've lost a wife to divorce, which also puts me in the slightly sad headspace.

I do sometimes wish I was back at a size 20 where I wasn't threatening to people. I won't though because I love the clothes I can get now and it's easier to move around a massage table and work. But I am a bit down about how people are treating me after losing weight and gaining some of my confidence back, that was hard won after being left, let me tell you.

sylvie 05-22-2012 07:34 AM



Good Morning all..
The last few days have been really good days, & i know i am finally back on track. my motivation & energy are back full force, finally - this makes me a very happy girl!

So my goals for the next 3 days are :

- hit the gym (tomorrow & friday)
- thursday, i will walk to & from work the long way for both shifts (that'll be 2 hours of walking total)
- drink lots more water..
- portion my food faithfully & stick to my meal plans..

& today, i got out my book on Training to Run, which i got from a friend..
& i am starting the program on Monday! So lots of reading to do..
my goal is to run my first marathon with my friend as soon as i complete the training program and feel ready.. What an accomplishment that will be..

Happy Tuesday Healthies! ♥

Ginger 05-22-2012 08:34 AM

The best thing for losing weight is unrequited lust. IMO.

JoSchmooze 05-22-2012 09:06 AM

I too, have not posted in a while....
I am fighting internally with this journey...
On Thursday I posted a pic on my FB status showing
the 50 lbs I have lost since Feb 3, 2012.....
I am in a bit of a slump and have doubts about the hCG diet.
Al the Russian tells me I am "starving myself"....I listen to
the voice in my head (oh, did I tell you that I am
feeling slightly nutz right about now?) that muscle
weighs more than fat....I see how my body is
reshaping itself but for some damned reason I am angry.....

Angry at not getting anywhere as quickly as promised....
Angry at giving in, telling myself that my body needs more to
eat to maintain muscle and tone.

Angry that I feel like I am, all of a sudden
feeling like I am binging (really? binging?? A handful of
walnuts to replace protein used up in training??)
and then purging by using fiber supplements
so that I can shed pounds......
And frustrated that when I see the doc on Friday it
will appear that no weight has been lost this month
even though I have lost and gained the same freakin
five pounds over and over again this past month.....

Angry and frustrated enough to chuck it all, stop this madness
and eat a pint of B&J...or go over to that BBQ place I pass
every time I go to the gym and order a rack of ribs and just sit there
and wolf them down!

Done, done, done with the rant.....
Sorry......

Lady_Di 05-22-2012 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JoSchmooze (Post 589789)
I too, have not posted in a while....
I am fighting internally with this journey...
On Thursday I posted a pic on my FB status showing
the 50 lbs I have lost since Feb 3, 2012.....
I am in a bit of a slump and have doubts about the hCG diet.
Al the Russian tells me I am "starving myself"....I listen to
the voice in my head (oh, did I tell you that I am
feeling slightly nutz right about now?) that muscle
weighs more than fat....I see how my body is
reshaping itself but for some damned reason I am angry.....

Angry at not getting anywhere as quickly as promised....
Angry at giving in, telling myself that my body needs more to
eat to maintain muscle and tone.

Angry that I feel like I am, all of a sudden
feeling like I am binging (really? binging?? A handful of
walnuts to replace protein used up in training??)
and then purging by using fiber supplements
so that I can shed pounds......
And frustrated that when I see the doc on Friday it
will appear that no weight has been lost this month
even though I have lost and gained the same freakin
five pounds over and over again this past month.....

Angry and frustrated enough to chuck it all, stop this madness
and eat a pint of B&J...or go over to that BBQ place I pass
every time I go to the gym and order a rack of ribs and just sit there
and wolf them down!

Done, done, done with the rant.....
Sorry......


as I was driving back to Colorado, one of the radio newscaster said something about a recent study of how facebook is upping eating disorders and lowering people's self esteem, yadda yadda ya

welp, it don't have to be that way

we all have ups and downs and beat ourselves up from time to time. You know you doing it to yourself, too. We do take responsibility for our lot in life, at least most of us do here, no?

I have faith in you. If you feel you have stumbled or are not exactly where you want to be at right now... well....

there is a sign at my home group which I simply adore -

If you do not like where you are at...

Do Not Stop.


:)


Keeping coming back and never ever give up, no matter what you may be feeling, experiencing at this moment. Like a soldier I saw at the VA yesterday said to me. Reminding me of this -

Today is a good day to die!
AND a good day to fight.

wooooah!!!

the question is... what are you fighting for, who are you fighting for... or shall ye surrender and give up.

Never!

woooooah!!

One day, one hour, somedays... one second at a time. Each moment can be and truly is a new beginning.
d'who loves her veterans~

Lady_Di 05-22-2012 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by honeybarbara (Post 588812)
It is pretty hard to change the view of self. I have pretty bad body dismorphia at times so I have NO idea how big or small I am. I have lost 23 Kilos. that's over 50 pounds.

Unfortunately about 30 pounds of it was not healthy weight loss. It happend when my wife left me and I stopped eating and shook constantly. I didn't eat for almost a month and then anything solid I ate would cause severe pain and come right back up. I had given myself very bad gastritis an on the way to an ulcer.

So I slowly over another three weeks began to be able to eat.

since then I have completely changed my eating habits and I'm in training. I no longer diet. I eat anything I want but I have found I don't really want much. I can't eat nearly close to what I used to and things like doughnuts take hideous. I still love cheese though.

I don't eat shit not because I'm dieting, but because I don't crave them. I have no idea how this happened. I just don't want them.

I went to therapy to address some of my issues in the marriage and found that my biggest issues that were at the core of everything: my depression, stress reactions, binge eating etc all came from a desperate need for space. Because I caretake too much. I then get burnt out and when I got a couple hours to myself I would carbload so drug myself because of my high stress levels.

since I have noticed that my binge eating is purely about exhaustion, I am far more vigilant about ensuring I have down time, by myself, doing wtf I want. I also listen to soothing hypnosis relaxation cds at night when I go to sleep.

I think this is probably why I don't crave anywhere near to what I used to. My driving myself far too hard and caretaking other people till I collapse. Stressing out and trying to control my environment.

I'm now down to a UK size 16 (US 14) and I want to lose one more size.

The only draw back I've noticed is the attention I'm getting. I'm getting sexually harassed more and I'm finding I get a lot of strange reactions from the dyke community. I am pretty girlie but it seemed my weight made the girly bits ok. Now they seem to suspect me of something but I haven't figured out what. No one talks to me when I go to socials. I have to throw myself at someone to get a conversation.

My feelings are getting hurt quite a bit when I go out. People call me intimidating, predatory, that I will eat someone alive... I have no CLUE where it's coming from but the only things that's changed about me is my size and I have a bit more self confidence. And I've lost a wife to divorce, which also puts me in the slightly sad headspace.

I do sometimes wish I was back at a size 20 where I wasn't threatening to people. I won't though because I love the clothes I can get now and it's easier to move around a massage table and work. But I am a bit down about how people are treating me after losing weight and gaining some of my confidence back, that was hard won after being left, let me tell you.

wow, honey... this needed to be repeated. In awe of you and the work you put in, not just about your body, but also your headspace

I too have done a lot of 'work' with an excellent therapist after this last break up from hell and the house of lies it was built on. Learned a heck of a whole lot and I am truly grateful for the knowledge. But why o why does learning and growing have to come from such pain?

As for being treated differently, wow... I did not even think that part of why I was being treated differently this last week back in my home state was the weight loss of the last year. From the not eating after my heart break, to the taking active participation in my health, which was part of my healing circle this last year.

I thought it was some new femme pheromone I was exuding.... or something... attracting attention, over and over again, catching someone checking me out and acknowledging that I exist. I am no longer invisible, I think it is that simple. Our wt makes us disappear from most people's radar in this pucked up world we live in. That is reality.

anyhows, I am proud of you HB, and sad that the community you are in is treating you that way. I have to think that they are just terribly human and have compassion for them as well as you. Not one of us is perfect. I take comfort in that. ***there is a philosophical paradox, if you meet the buddha on the road, just shoot him. In other words, none of us are perfect, if they say or think they are, well... they are not, it is utter and complete bullhockey.***

Just sucks green monkey dicks, as Rita Mae Brown once lamented a long long time ago~

Rockinonahigh 05-23-2012 01:53 AM

Over the last fue months of dealing with on going back troubles and more pain than I care to admit to,tomorrow im going to the top chiropractor in this area.I told my orthopedic about doing that cause I need pain releif thats not based on meds,he wants me in the gym 3x a week but I have to much pain in my tail bone and down my left leg wich is really messing up everything I do.Heck I cant sit for long,stand much,geting out of a chair or going up any amount of stairs is way more than I can handle.I ask about the injections but he says after I give working out and loseing more weight,I really need to reduce or find a way to stop this pain as its causeing me to become a real big pissy grouch wich is so not who I am.To top it off my bad left knee is ding something nasty that hurts bad.I will admit I feel a bit depresed because I really was counting on the ortho to come up with ansers of some kind wich hasnthappened....yes im takeing care of that to and have an app with a counselor.
The good news is I have lost a couple of pounds just doing what I can along with really watching what and how much I eat.

girl_dee 05-23-2012 05:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by justkim (Post 588753)
When I look in the mirror I still see that FAT girl...
Today I went and got some new clothes for work...
I have been wearing my larger sized clothes to hide...
Hide who I was and who I am becoming... It felt safe... I felt safe...
Then I got the promotion at work and realized I needed to not look so frumpy...
You can not work in this industry and look frumpy...
Even though the sizes were much smaller than I expected, I still saw that FAT girl in the mirror...
I am trying so hard to change how *I* see myself...


(((((((( Kim )))))))))))

i am so frustrated, same few pounds coming and going and for 6 weeks have done whatever i know how to get it to MOVE off and stay off.

My goal was to be down those 15 pounds by my NOLA trip in June. It isn't happening and i'm completely down about it.

sylvie 05-23-2012 08:00 AM

Good Morning Healthies,

Off to walk uptown, and then heading to the Gym.
i am really humbled by some of the people in my life, who are so willing to use their own time and help me develop a program..

A guy i work with, is really going above and beyond for me ..
And Candace and i have been working together everyday as well, via Skype and sharing our journeys, she's amazing, inspiring & came along at such a good time .. We share the same journey and passion to healthy ourselves up..

And then, you all here.. Between reps, messages, motivation & tips..
Thank you all for being here each and every day!
Sincerely, i am so grateful for you all ♥

justkim 05-23-2012 08:40 AM

I think you look fabulous! Ride the bike everywhere... I bet you will be dropping the weight by the time you leave now that you can get outside and move.
Be kind to yourself... This is something I keep reminding myself to do...

You got this!




Quote:

Originally Posted by Cajun_dee (Post 590244)
(((((((( Kim )))))))))))

i am so frustrated, same few pounds coming and going and for 6 weeks have done whatever i know how to get it to MOVE off and stay off.

My goal was to be down those 15 pounds by my NOLA trip in June. It isn't happening and i'm completely down about it.


Lady_Di 05-23-2012 06:39 PM

From someone I respect greatly... we were discussing pain and suffering, don't even remember why that was the topic, but this is great way to look at it.

...about change

changing

challenges and everyday stuff

There are 2 ways to grow...


Thru pain because we have to

OR

Thru love because we want to


The decision is ultimately yours


I think this was in reference to my complaining about why o why does pain have to be part of this change process, not even sure which changing process I was talking about. But the truth is resistance is futile. lol...Change is gonna happen. The point I think she was making to me is how we can choose to view that change. Thru the eyes of love and care, or by resisting and arguing, fighting.





...not that pain is always a bad thing, just sayin~

JoSchmooze 05-23-2012 06:58 PM



On the way home from the gym,
I stopped at the Costco to get almonds and walnuts...
They had shorts on sale....
AHA!! I got into a smaller size.....
Neener, neener, neener
to being angry......

Keep on trucking, folks....
It does get better.....

:jester:



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:27 PM.

ButchFemmePlanet.com
All information copyright of BFP 2018