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With the last one, I've learned to open my eyes, so I can really hear with my ears
I'm relearning the independence I once had and lost being in a relationship I'm still working on confidence and worthiness Learning that being single the last 2 years was good for me as it helped me clean out cobwebs that have been there way too long |
i also hope people from my past learned from our experience together
what to do, what not to do and all in between! |
Important things I learned from past relationships
Sometimes it is better to stay friends then let it go to the next level. I will be fine with enough time to heal after a breakup. The person who I was in a relationship in was important to me and always will be even if it is a bad break up. |
I learned that I made someone else more important than myself and I drank over it. Wont do that again...however, I am ever so grateful for that Truth.
I learned I am unwilling to move across the country on uncertainties. I learned I am stronger than I ever thought..and ended up doing things I didnt think I could handle. I learned that I can love so well, and yet have loved so wrong. As Blade once said, my picker was broken and I needed to fix it. I learned that I will never settle for being second in a relationship ever again. I learned that I wont do exes in a relationship. Theirs or mine. I learned that lies are obvious as long as I am not in denial. I learned that no one can make me happy with myself but some sure can make me miserable about themselves... |
I learned that having everything in common does not mean it's going to be a charmed relationship!
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I learned that if one person shuts down the chance of communicating and fixing the relationship, then it is gone.
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From past relationships, I have learned:
I am gay *regardless* of how my partner IDs - it does not alter me. I am more open to trying new things than I thought I was. Identifying as femme in no ways weakens me or makes me "less" than my partner. I am strong. I can enjoy be pampered without feeling like I should be doing something to deserve it. Compromise and communication is important. Most importantly: I am no one's bitch, and no one can walk on me or control me. |
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It eventually came out that she didn't see herself as 100% gay despite being in a lesbian relationship, so couldn't wrap her head around why I still did, despite being with a man. It's important to hold onto your own ID, which is something I'd learned in a previous (abusive) relationship. |
that I had/have work to do on myself.. that I will not tolerate the things I used to.
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sometimes people just aren't ready and no amount of me being ready, willing, able, and overcompensating can make it work. being madly in love with someone (even when they claim to feel the same way) is no reason to settle for a situation where they are incapable of giving anything emotionally. even though it sucks and it's really not anyone's fault that it sucks.
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The calm of being alone......
Make sure life changing decision arent made under emotional duress! |
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That what people say is never as important as what they do....watch their actions and priorities, and they will show you who they truly are better than their words ever will.
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What I learned from Relationship...
I learned that I have a fearless heart and no matter how may times it gets torn apart I can mend it and open it again eventually. Actions speak louder than words. I learned to back up and look a situation objectively and not take everything personally. I learned to set my boundries within my relationships and still be sensitive to my partners needs. I learned to fight fair and never hit below the belt. Somethings you say just can't be taken back. I learned that it's OK to say..." I'll get back to you on that" giving you time to process. I learned It's very important to make time and stay present with you partner without distractions especially if she needs to vent. I learned not to solve her problems and just really listen to her, sometimes that's all she needs.
I learned not to blame myself if things don't workout. |
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when someone shows you who they are, believe them!!!
communicate----communicate----communicate you don't have to have everything in common, but it certainly helps to have some things respect each others differences and make compromises above all, NEVER lose sight of who YOU are to try and keep someone....be true to yourself!!! |
My lessons.
I thought that the happily ever after dream wasn't what Disney portrayed.
Sometimes the very best thing you can do for someone, is walk away for their own good. Being in a great and healthy relationship, does not mean everything is always perfect. That I am capable and strong enough to truly forgive. That I can love deeply and can truly love with no reservations. Love does not go hand in hand with happiness. Sharing everything should be done slowly and carefully. That if you ever find yourself thinking... "she can change".. then you are likely better off ending it. That although happily ever after isn't Disney's portrayal, it can still happen |
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I've learned that every relationship (and everyone) until now has been a dress rehearsal. And just as important.
I've learned that I'm stronger than I thought I was, and become stronger every day. I've learned who my true friends are--the ones who can understand what you're saying on the phone even when you can't stop crying. |
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