Gryph and I met on the Dash site. I had been doing daily ritual for nine months to find the right partner for me; it started out, "I deserve to be loved the way I want to be loved; I deserve to give love the way I want to give it. I deserve to be safe. I deserve to be happy. I deserve to be a wife..." and it went on for as long as I could think of affirmations. I even included "I deserve clean air to breathe and clean water to drink" lol! But it WASN'T working and I was utterly miserable, heartsick and at the end of my rope when I happened to get online one Sunday... only to read the answer to my prayers!

I wasn't sure how things would go at first... I read the first posts and all I could think was "don't let this one get away!!" It wasn't the posts... it was in the name. The posts didn't hurt, though! So we started talking in the thread and pretty quickly in PM, then in IM. We talked all Sunday evening, all Monday evening, and then all day on Tuesday by phone. It was pretty clear to me at that point that my prayers had been answered; Gryph said he's been reading my posts and was already in love with me. We made a commitment to each other that night, and over the next couple weeks I fell in love, too.

I was in Wichita 7 weeks later. The shock of walking into Shrek's Cousin's Cave nearly undid me; I was SO CERTAIN that I had made a huge mistake!!! THAT couldn't have been the answer to my prayers!! It was amazingly hard to look past the filth and see the actual person I loved. I basically forced him to help me clean the mess up, which took us HOURS; and I privately resolved that I would just get back on the bus and go home as soon as the place was clean.

It was less than 24 hours before I changed my mind, though. He went to work the next day, I kept on cleaning, and the extreme joy and relief on his face when he came in the door that night and saw the clean apartment convinced me that it would be okay to stay.

The original plan had been that I would pack up his apartment and then we would come back to Arizona together; he'd drop me off at my mom's place and go on to Camp Verde, then once he got settled we'd move in together. Evidently, the Goddess and the Ancestors said "Why? You've already moved in together," and delayed his tax refund by several months. At that point, it was too late to move; our expenses had gotten too high. So he made arrangements to bring my Ladybug to Wichita and we planned a move for the next tax refund.

Again, even though this one came in on time, there wasn't enough and our expenses were too high.

The third year, we just gave up and bought a house. I guess Wichita has claimed us. :cheesy:

Along the way, I have realized repeatedly that there could never be anyone more ideally suited to me than Gryph is. We did have it rough in the beginning; after we got the cave sorted out, we still had to deal with old baggage over and over again. We both cried a lot that first year, although we've very seldom argued... but the baggage would pop itself loose and there we'd be, hurting beyond belief and desperately trying to figure out why. We healed each other from our past relationships that whole year, and we've continued to grow together since.

I don't believe the couple IS the foundational unit of butch/femme culture. Maybe I don't quite understand what you mean?

It's been my experience that the foundation of butch/femme culture is the energy exchange (not power exchange, energy) that happens between and among butches and femmes whether they're coupled or not. I have had butch friends who sustained me with that energy exchange when I was single, and vice-versa, so it can happen between friends the same way it happens between lovers (minus the sex, at least on my part, lol). Also, I think femme/femme bonding and butch/butch bonding are intrinsic to and foundational to our culture.

If that isn't what you meant, I'd be glad to hear more. Maybe you're looking at it from a different perspective than mine?

We were friends for about three years.

He took me with him to court for our first "date" so he could take care of a traffic ticket. He opened the car door and let me go through security first--such a charmer. I was impressed with his ability to get out of the ticket.

And so I bought him a cookie, because he likes cookies.

I also think he smells nice, most days.

Oh, and he makes me laugh more than anyone else in this world.

There is this existing butch/femme personals site....not the other site that we all know about that also has a dating link...but, a lesser know site that is only a dating site. Sorry I cannot remember the name of it. Anyway, A couple years ago, I'd looked through the TN ads and most of the people didn't appear to be either femme or butch. Yesssss, I know you can't base someone's butchness or femmeness on looks alone, but i just wasn't getting that vibe from most of them or their ads. Then I saw Shirley and sent her a wink. She sent me one back, but neither of us tried to contact each other. I met someone else and started dating her. Flash forward 2 years later and I was single again...BUT I was determined to take a break from dating. About 2 weeks later, I popped on the site again....and saw Shirley again. I sent her a wink and she sent me one back. I wrote her and asked her if she'd had any luck over the past 2 years from that site. She admitted that she hadn't and hadn't been to that site in a long time. I told her I had just broken up and was just looking for friends. After much talking, pming, emailling, etc. over the next week, she asked me to dinner. We've been pretty much inseparable every since. :)

She started my birthday thread on the dash site for a bunch of years in a row. Then one year, she didn't and I PM'd to ask why.

I think that was 5 birthdays ago. She hasn't started a bday thread for me since.

Dapper and tantalizingfemme
 

My lesbian neighbor plays on a pool league.

She told me that there was an attractive girl on one of the teams that is single that looks like my type. I said, ok and gave said neighbor a picture of me for tantalizingfemme to see. Evidently, I looked good enough to her because she was agreeable to a "meeting". Said meeting was my neighbor and TF's ENTIRE pool team going bowling. I was not so thrilled that this was the way it was set up (I included my phone number with the picture thinking we would connect that way), but decided to just go along with it, as my neighbor and TF's friend from her team appeared to be having such fun with it. I hadn't seen a picture of TF, but that didn't matter to me.

Anyway, about 4 days prior to the scheduled "meet" I was dropping my car off at the body shop. I was at the counter and said to the body shop guy, "Now look, I need the car by Friday because I have a hot date with a new chick". He chuckled and said ok.

A few hours later I get a text. " This is ______. I am supposed to meet you on Friday night. Were you at _______ Body Shop today by chance?" I just about shit myself. Here TF was at the body shop the same time I was, had seen me walk in the door (remember she had a picture of me), and was actually standing by as I was having that conversation with the body shop guy!

We texted for a couple of hours and then decided to meet within a couple of days BY OURSELVES, much to our friends' chagrin!

Dreamer and I had quite the romance. We met on Daywalkers Farm.

There is obviously more to the story - but two years later, we no longer meet on the farm to talk.

Those were the days... Remember?!?

At a karaoke dive bar in Chinatown!

I met my hunnie on the dash site 6 months ago!! :-D

Just wanted to update, it's been ONE year since I've moved in - over 2 and a half years since we've been together.. We will hit our 3 year mark (May 05) 3 weeks prior to us getting married (May 26, 2012)! :married:

And what turned me on even moreso to my partner was hys absolutely adorable grin and cowboy hats. Never dated a country boi, and hy showed me what I was missing in my life! :kiss:

Thanks to everyone who shared their stories. It gives me hope that maybe my perfect butch is out there, just waiting to be found.

(but between you and me, she needs to hurry the hell up.)

I can really relate to that.

I met the bf years ago, even before he started on the path to transition. At the time I barely knew anything about Ftm's, but still he became like a brother to me.

We'd met at a lesbian event where we had mutual friends, but generally we moved in different circles so occasionally we'd meet for a chat, just as friends. I used to flirt with him and we had two cheeky snogs, but that was it. Just friends.

My long term relationship ended and the next person I got involved with was manipulative and abusive. For two whole years the bf barely saw me and the few times he saw me I was generally unhappy or unwell. For himself, he spent those two years physically changing into a whole new person!

One day I rang him out of the blue saying 'Guess wot! I'm single!!' He immediately invited me out to a picnic. I went and nothing had changed, we were still JUST friends. It was a week or two later that we began flirting on the phone and within a couple of hours he'd invited me to dinner. I went, expecting dinner or maybe a one night stand, only never really left again :pipe:

It's true... and when she suggested Dreamer to me.
I said - No thank you, Mrs. Daywalker.
I am not interested, Mrs. Daywalker.
Find someone else for Dreamer, Mrs. Daywalker.

The end.

We were friends first....

Then:

The hot wings, mountain biking, lanai nights and helping hym study hys homework.

Oh, and The Tree, OUR Tree ;)

Oh my gosh, that day was sooooo crazy! I remember seeing you walk in and thought, "Wow...hot" and then I thought you looked familiar, but hadn't put two and two together until you told the guy about the hot date. You were pointing at the calender to tell him when it was, and I was straining my neck to see where you pointed. When I saw it was Friday, all I kept thinking was No WAY!!! I kept peeking around him to look at you, while furiously texting V, saying "you are not going to believe this". Out of all of the car shops, and all of the days, at that exact moment, we were in the same place.

Talk about kismet.

We met on the dash-related dating site six and a half years ago. She messaged me and I thought that I had never seen someone so perfectly good-looking to me, in her wonderful butchness. We chatted and found out that we were both originally from the same area of PA. We decided to talk on the phone and immediately clicked. Met within a week. We dated long-distance for a year, and then she moved to this area and we continued to get to know each other. After another year, we moved in together. Got engaged about a year and a half ago. On October 22nd, we're getting legally married. :) That is just amazing! We are just enjoying each other and making each other laugh. We couldn't be more excited!