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The holidays just haven't been the same since my Momma died 17 years ago. I love the fall, the changing leaves, cool crisp days and nights, bonfires.
I have been on call Thanksgiving day just about every year since 1993 so that others with families can spend time together. My BFF is on in house call today, I am going to meet her for lunch @ the hospital. Hospitals make you hate the holidays also. I worked till 8:30 last night. We will be slammed through the 1st of the year. Happy Holidays everyone... |
I would certainly agree that the holidays can bring pain as well as happiness.
My family keeps getting smaller...my dad dying 12 years ago and now my brother just a few weeks ago. It is a reminder that things are not the same. It is a reminder that place settings at the table are missing and the voices and laughter of years past are now just memories. This is hard to face and this is hard to swollow. But, it is memories that get me through it. I believe there is also a lot of good things to see this time of year. Even though charities are "open for buisness" all year, they are way more apparent around this time. "Coats for the cold" for example have hit a record high this season so far for the amount of coats being donated. The "Salvation Army" who i totally support get most of their donations from now until Christmas that keeps them going all year. People have different reasons for dreading, disliking holidays. Just thought I'd share what makes them painful for *me* and to also share what I believe to be a wonderful reason to also be "thankful" they are around. Hugz to all those who have a difficult time with all the holidays for whatever reason there is.....:rrose: |
I dread the holidays more than hate them.
For the last 20+ years I have worked in family law. Nearly every holiday, summer vacation and weekend bring escalated conflict over children. It's always about power and control. The party behaving badly is either blind to the effect on the children or they just don't care - sometimes both. They decide that their interpretation of the Court's order is gospel. Never mind that the order reads "The minor children will spend the name your holiday with Parent A in even numbered years and with Parent B in odd numbered years." It's 2010 (obviously and EVEN numbered year) and Parent B declares the children will be with them and Parent A will just have to get over it. |
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So, i was thinking about it more and decided i needed some balance, so here... Since becoming an adult and deciding for myself where & with whom i'd spend the holidays around, there have been some nice ones (i hate to admit it). i remember one thanksgiving with a friend's family....they all went around and said what each person was thankful for. That was cool. And the aforementioned ex....one year for xmas dinner, she made a....can't remember the name of it.....it was like a low country boil, but in a red sauce. Our Leather Family was there, and we all wore garbage bags as bibs. That was fun....a lot of fun. i have a picture of that somewhere.... And each year the Family gets together in Dec for a celebration. This year we'll be bringing a new member (and an old friend to most of us) into the clan. i look forward to that. i really don't like hearing people say they "have" to go to a family get together even if they don't want to, just because it's family and what they do. Everyone should have the personal freedom to do what they *want* to do, not what's expected of them. And do it free of guilt!! And with no excuses or even explanations.... "no mama/granny/whoever, i wont be making it this year, but i'll see you soon, ok!" Took me several years of practice, but i was able to finally start doing that. It was GREAT! :hippie: |
It's not wrong to be so positive *playful jaw drop*
True tho EVERYTHING is a choice...you chose what you do and with who... So all in all You make the holiday what you want it to be... soooo of course be positive and create some more GOOD memories ...even if you are being silly with friends...(or in my case this year, coworkers)...*grin* Life is what you make it...holidays too are what you choose to make them. Have a Great Thanksgiving...& plan some Fun for the rest of them this year! :vigil: |
re:holidays
i don't celebrate xmas or any other christian holiday,since i am not christian. i was raised pagan and am now buddhist/taoist, like my my femme sis, Lady Wu. all of my friends know this and do not ask me to any xmas or other christian functions. i will join others in their celebrations of pagan, heathen, jewish, buddhist, taoist holidays, essentially i will join in the holiday of any faith that is not exclusive. unfortunately, most christian denominations are exclusive: they believe that unless you are christian, you are going to hell, a concept that i do not subscribe to.
i really dislike being subjected to xmasxmasxmas from just about the end of all hallow's eve til the beginning of the new year. xmas carols on every station, xmas decorations in every shop window, xmas charity requests in every batch of mail....enough to make a normally even-tempered grrl want to scream! of course, i accept that this is price i must pay for living in a nominally christian country. and i do mean PRICE and PAY! i often wonder how truly religiously observant christians feel about the buybuybuy, spendspendspend commertialization of the date (really in the spring, this date was atake-over of the God Saturn) of the birth of their founder? do the number of the faithful to Jesus equal the number of the faithful in church on xmas eve/xmas equal the number of the faithful to money in the malls beforehand? i was married to someone who really went all out for xmas and every other christian holidayfor many years, even though hy knew i was not christian. (hy had kept this hidden from me til AFTER we married and moved in together.) and guess who had to do all the decorating, xmas shopping, cooking, etc? right-me, the wife! hy even insisted that i decorate the LOBBY of the apt building where we lived! aaaargh! i don't mind CHRISTANS celebrating xmas, but why must hy inflict it upon me? if i never wrap another door in red, green, white and hang a wreath (a pagan/heathen custom, btw), it will not be too soon for me! so, ravfem, i agree with your posts! pres :moonstars: |
Growing up Christmas wasnt celebrated with me, so when I met my biological mom we used to go all out with presents, spending time together, baking etc. When she died, well its back to being alone. I help charities but its still not the same, I HATE Christmas :)
http://i147.photobucket.com/albums/r...The-Grinch.jpg |
I am traumatized at the very thought
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this time should symbolize peace and love..
instead it stresses me out.. the airports, the family drama and then the pressure to buy people who already have way too much of everything a present! Seeing family then feeling guilty for leaving them again.. ugh.. |
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Great idea.. I am normally way more in the spirit of giving to those who need it than this.. spent many Christmas' at AIDS shelters or Childrens Hospital and one year hauling quadriplegics to their loved ones in the snow.. Sure beats exchanging gift cards in total chaos. |
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