Good luck with your interview.

When I use the word "Queer" to describe myself it's more about solidarity with the rest of the non-straights than it is about my actual orientation. There's a lot of crossover for the LGBTIQ communities (whether some people want to admit it or not) in terms of experiences, struggle, culture, and outside perception - so it's important to me that that gets recognised.

Since Queer is a word that both means nothing and everything at the exact same time - it's the one that I took on for myself.

Queer femme fits me best. Lesbian, gay or just femme does not adequately describe me though I would be fine if anyone applied those labels to me. Queer encompasses the whole of me.

I've had a lot of conversations about this, as being a lesbian with a boyfriend causes a few raised eyebrows y'know..

I don't ID as queer, though I assume I will one day.. it wasn't relevant in my former lesbian life. I am aware that Queer has a lot of history and value, probably as much as lesbian, and it would also be an umbrella my bf would be happy to stand under with me.

One day I will make the switch, much like that fateful day when I decided I didn't need chocolate any more and began eating dried fruit instead.

I love queer. Queer is the only word that works for my sexuality, precisely because it's so murky.

I used to consider myself straight. I think I was about 15 when I started considering the possibility I could be bicurious and for years hovered between describing myself as straight, bisexual or bicurious. I made huge announcmeents I'd retract later. I just had a nagging sense I had the possibility in me to be with a woman, despite the fact I loved boys. I obsessed over boys all the time and dated/slept with them exclusively. When I came to uni signed up to the lgbt society thinking it might help me somehow... but did nothing with that except get a card for cheap entry to gay clubs, then unrelated to this I made friends with a bunch of mostly gay men and became a fag hag going to gay clubs to dance in what i felt was a friendlier environment than most straight clubs. I pretty much ignored the lesbians. I don't know why. The lesbian world was just this giant impenetrable fortress to me and I had a bunch of misconceptions, and besides I hung out with the gay guys as a 'straight' friend. I tried to kiss a girl once, but I just failed miserably and gave up. Despite being on the surface straight I had a huge inexplicable obsession with gay places, people and related media.

A bunch of ins and outs later, I finally figured out I was actually trans* and came out last year. As I began to explore my gender my attractions, sexuality and the words I used to describe it got more and more swirly until there was only one word that fit right - queer. For a mixture of reasons I've finally came across the queer crowd. Queer to me is part of the gay community, but also seperate. It's more radicalised. More accepting. I used to find the gay spaces friendly but now I consider myself trans and sexually queer, now i'm outside of the binary it feels controlling and less safe. To be fair... it's not always bad, and mostly better than straight spaces. I find the best places are those where there are a mix of liberal queers and liberal queer-friendly sorts. I think trans* is a huge part of what seperates queer from gay, along with bi/omni/pan sexualities and the ever-cliched 'open mind'.

Queer is fierce. Queer says fuck, no I won't. Queer says we are the underdogs and proud. Queer says I'll do what I want but not at the expense of fucking over my neighbours. Queer means my current preference is not girls or boys but bois.

It also means half my friends are vegans so I get the bacon all to myself. :danglecarrot:

This was a really long life story.

I am learning to like queer. I started as a lesbian but wasn't happy with the word. Mostly because at that point I was too scared to say but I'm a guy. Then I evolved to straight. But now I am realizing that I like femininity not the sex attached so queer works.

Thank you Captain Franki for your wonderful candid reply. I loved it. And I felt it. And I bet it has been a really long life story.

Kriket

I. Love. This. Post. Seriously. My very favorite part, though they were many, is the bit I plucked out and quoted above. I've had an off day today, and that really made me feel better. I read it and smiled because it spoke to me, even though my story is a bit different. I work hard to believe that those who find me beautiful find that in me because of who I am -- all of me, even the bits Cosmo tells me I should hide.

Thank you. :)

I'm glad you liked it! :heartbeat: I get carried away when I'm writing.

Hmm
 

Somehow I never viewed myself as a lesbian. I also date masculine butch, trans, FTM's. Being queer to me is being myself. I don't fit into any other label. I can date who/whatever I want and still feel like myself. That in itself, is golden.

Yep, another queer here too. I've often wondered, though, if using that label hurts my chances for finding partners. I don't have any real proof, but it's just something I think about.

+1 Queer!

What an awesome thread.
I have only ever had relationships with females in the past, but I have never been able to comfortably call myself a soft butch lesbian. Queer is much more fitting and simple. ^5 to you all!

Glad for this thread
 

So glad to read about other queer femmes who partner with masc i.d. gender queers and don't relate to the L Word. Love my femme sisters as mutual appreciation, not romantically.