Butch Femme Planet - Carried over the threshold

Butch Femme Planet (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/index.php)

- Dating, Marriage, Family (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=110)

- - Carried over the threshold (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=5468)

FBG (Fabulous Big Girl) perspective

Quote:

Originally Posted by IslandScout (Post 638074)

I think the unspoken side of this issue is, what if the femme (and so far, everyone has followed that paradym of butch-carrying-femme, following the groom-following-bride model), is a BBW, and it is uncomfortable for her butch to carry her?

I'm not large but I keep thinking about those women and wondering if they are seeing this thread every time they log on, and if it makes them feel somehow in comparison with women who are small enough to be physically carried by someone else.

Am I over-thinking?

Am I being neurotic?

Worse, am I being a party pooper?

I really don't mean to step on anyone's toes. It's awkward, I wasn't sure how to phrase this or even if I should—perhaps since no BBW has responded in this way, it isn't an issue with them.

But what if it is, and they have internalized so much cultural disapproval of their size, they don't want to be the one to bring it up?

So I decided to risk it.

I am a large and fabulous woman. I embrace many things that are considered "old fashioned" and out of date. I sometimes feel like I was born in the wrong era. I have no problems with butch/guy led relationships or demonstrations of courtship/chivalry. That being said I would never feel comfortable with this tradition. A) I would worry that my partner would injure themselves. B) I would not feel comfortable with it.

It reminds me of the quote - do not walk in front of me, I may not follow. Do not follow me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend. I feel that marriage is a start of a partnership and I want my partner to be my equal. This tradition just waxes a little passé and heteronormative to me personally.

This thread doesn't offend me or make me feel inadequate or fat. Traditions aren't for everyone. Some people will admire and adhere to tradition and some will trailblaze new ones.

I wish you both happiness in your marriage & that all your threshold moments are memorable. :)

I would perfer if we both stayed out of the physical therapist office until after the honeymoon

Quote:

Originally Posted by stepfordfemme (Post 638225)

Hi, I liked your post, which referenced mine. Just for clarification, in case the last line was directed at me, I'm not married. I think you were addressing the (now revealed as a troll) "Steph" person who started the thread? Anyway, nice to meet you, and BTW, Happy Halloween! Scout

Quote:

Originally Posted by PurpleQuestions84 (Post 688979)

I would perfer if we both stayed out of the physical therapist office until after the honeymoon

Perfect response, I think a sense of humor is useful when dealing with certain cultural traditions :)

Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying :phonegab:

Quote:

Originally Posted by IslandScout (Post 689003)

Perfect response, I think a sense of humor is useful when dealing with certain cultural traditions :)