I am 150% behind you on this.

i don't want to do anything that looks heterosexual when it comes to a relationship. some things are obviously a must. but asking a father, or mother, ... to marry? i don't think so. i just don't want the marriage thing, ... set up for man and woman, ... husband and wife. they don't want me to have it, ... why the hell should i want it! keep it. if "we" decide to "marry", i don't want heterosexual people there lol.

Everyone has the right to choose which traditions they will follow and what fits in with their extended family dynamics.

This particular tradition of asking the father (only) for permission isn't something that feels good to me. For me it harkens to a time when women didn't get to make their own choices about who they could marry, and women had to defer to men being head of household and making all the important decisions without the wife/mother having input.

So for me, no, I wouldn't follow this even if I could.

Still curious
 

Steph!!!!! I see you!!!


What say you?

I sought her Dad's permission. :confused: (I mentioned this in the OP)

No. See my previous post.

What if her dad had said no?

Good question Okie! We probably would've married without their economic support.

Voice of reason.

Exactly.

Do you mean "will marry" without their economic support? I thought the marriage was in the future. Just trying to keep the narrative straight, no pun intended.

This is an interesting answer to Okie's question asking if you would have married without your partner's dad's approval.

I so feel the same way. I think the presence of family at life's major turning points and rituals is a good thing, but I never awaited their approval or permission to make my life choices.

Economic support, ah OK so this is very traditional. The parents of the bride are paying for the wedding. Are you paying for the honeymoon?

I think that IF I was ever going to marry again...
I would not ask Stoney's mom and hy probably wouldn't ask my mom.

marriage is not going to happen... 'cause the whole marriage thing I've tried several ways. And I've managed to stick to 1 contract in my life. That was the donor contract. So I'm thinking I'll end up with a contract like that or something just ours.

However,
I do however think it would be humorous to listen to the moms talk to each other about us formalizing a commitment. Because sometimes when hy and I talk about our mothers they are very alike. And if I had my sense of humor and a suit of armor on it could be really funny.

I thought there were going to be two brides, no? I seem to remember Steph said something in another thread about calling each other wife after they're married...Steph, is that correct?

Words

Scout-You're right, the wedding hasn't happened. What I meant was: the wedding would happen, even without the economic support of my future in-laws.

Words-You are absolutely right! I will be her wife, and she will be mine.

Thanks Steph...just didn't want to fall into the trap of assuming that because you wear men's underwear etc, you consider yourself the groom/husband:)

Words