Butch Femme Planet - Policing Gender

Butch Femme Planet (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/index.php)

- General Gender Discussions (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=111)

- - Policing Gender (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=6199)

if all this is "policing" this form of ongoing nagging "you're not good enough" terrible criticism, then my Mother was a Police Commissioner ......
but, who gives a shit?

If I had a dollar for every time someone "fell in love with me just the way I was" only then to spend countless days trying to change me to no avail, in essence is the same thing.

police all you want then as i walk away talk about me all you want, who cares, certainly, not I.....

Yes, it's hurtful, painful ...but who are they? friends? get rid of them, it's that simple.

Surround yourself with acceptance rather than spending time figuring out why people do what they do....

I have similar issues with being a Jew, it used to make me see red, peoples ignorance.

just "be"

I have said this to many, jokingly, and they knew it, and it's been said to me, that's fine. I have been called "dude" by my own butch wife, that's fine too.

When you know who and what you are, what you feel like inside, how you choose to project your inner to your outer in every way, just do it....

One day when in a bar with J and our friends, the shots of booze were flying. J will drink 2-3 beers but isn't a shot drinker. Bartender went to pour J a shot and j said "no" Bartender replied "Oh, man up"

Oh no he didn't just say THAT to my butch wife, did he?
..as the steam starting coming from my ears and blood from my eyes, I knew I was about to combust...... I had that feeling of anger with the ignorance.

I waited a bit until calmer, we said goodbye to our friends and left, never saying a word to Bartender.

I am glad I didn't, it would have showed him he annoyed me .....and i knew he would enjoy knowing that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by flapdoodle (Post 994529)

You did well to control yourself. I struggle at times when someone pushes the right button {I dont have many now I`m older and more mellow}. My kneejerk reaction would of been to snap and ask if its men who never know when they`ve had enough to drink then. Hardly PC in itself !

DC

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daisy Chain (Post 994484)

Yep. `man up`...a contradiction in terms surely !

I too have much to learn and enjoy learning ! When you get to a point when you think you have nothing else to learn you are screwed !

DC

Yes we learn everyday! But major contradiction!

Quote:

Originally Posted by imperfect_cupcake (Post 994520)

I think it depends on intent. There is an extremely camp drag King night here in vancouver called "Man Up!" And it's used as a camp-ish slang to doing a form of dragking "Im manning up when I do the MC for the band" it means presenting a caricature personality ... Like outrageous drag King personas.

It's not an insult, it's a camp play on words for humour towards a loved past time.

But it totally can be a shitty, gender policing term and is more often used that way.

Also "Don't be a pussy" to all genders, referring to female genitalia. When vaginas are some of the toughest parts of the body - it can take stuff that no other part can.

The intent was malicious in nature. So the totally shitty gender policing term comes to mind LOL