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-   -   Dating Personality Types (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=7590)

imperfect_cupcake 10-01-2014 01:50 PM

Quote:

Extroverts are assumed to be the default and they're so dominant in our culture at large that, speaking as an introvert, I can't really fault a lot of them for not really getting us. They just don't have the exposure to us that we do to them. Plus, ya know, we're introverts and we don't exactly wear our thoughts and feelings on our sleeves. Overall, I think we're tougher nuts to crack!
Both my parents were introverts, and growing up a misfit punk rocker/goth, pretty much 80% my friends in school were introverts. As an adult, all save one or two of my friends have been introverts. So I grew up thinking there was something *wrong* with me because I "need" people more than they did. I really carried that around with a lot of peer pressure that "I wasn't whole within myself" and "I was silly and fluffy"

I also got bullied for my extroversion. Yup. Because I'm open, warm, friendly, tail waggy, shy and sincere (surfacely in person), I got picked on a lot. And Sexually harassed.

Introversion and extroversion can - for me at least - be an incredibly good balance. Many introverts are just as uniformed about extroversion and the other way round (trust me, given my past with my mates, *very* uninformed. Extrovert = needy, loud, obnoxious, shallow, fickle, stupid, etc...)

so I think a little understanding can be extended in both ways, agreed.

and an F I want to fix too. But the most important thing to me is that *they don't "feel" alone* so I try to fix by trying to connect. T tends to fix by using logic. And personally, I actually appreciate that. I need a slap of reality and objectivity at time.

I'm a huuuuge bag of sloppy feels. But being raised by two introverted thinkers... I have a certain respect and appreciation for it? mebbe.

SleepyButch 10-01-2014 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by honeybarbara (Post 939310)
Both my parents were introverts, and growing up a misfit punk rocker/goth, pretty much 80% my friends in school were introverts. As an adult, all save one or two of my friends have been introverts. So I grew up thinking there was something *wrong* with me because I "need" people more than they did. I really carried that around with a lot of peer pressure that "I wasn't whole within myself" and "I was silly and fluffy"

I also got bullied for my extroversion. Yup. Because I'm open, warm, friendly, tail waggy, shy and sincere (surfacely in person), I got picked on a lot. And Sexually harassed.

Introversion and extroversion can - for me at least - be an incredibly good balance. Many introverts are just as uniformed about extroversion and the other way round (trust me, given my past with my mates, *very* uninformed. Extrovert = needy, loud, obnoxious, shallow, fickle, stupid, etc...)

so I think a little understanding can be extended in both ways, agreed.

and an F I want to fix too. But the most important thing to me is that *they don't "feel" alone* so I try to fix by trying to connect. T tends to fix by using logic. And personally, I actually appreciate that. I need a slap of reality and objectivity at time.

I'm a huuuuge bag of sloppy feels. But being raised by two introverted thinkers... I have a certain respect and appreciation for it? mebbe.

I'll take the test sometime later but what I do know is that I am an Introvert and shy (at first). What that usually means for me is that people think I'm stuck up or just not friendly, which is frustrating on many levels. Just because I sit back, observe, and don't talk much when I don't know you doesn't mean I'm not a friendly guy.

I also have dated my share of extroverts, some of who don't get the introvert thing at all because they have put me in really uncomfortable situations, which I never understood. Okay maybe that was just one or two of them.

On the other side of that, because they are extrovert, aren't they the ones who are supposed to be the outgoing, life of the party, who does all the talking? I agree that there is a lot of misconception on both parts and I also don't think that every introvert is the same and that every extrovert is the same.

I guess that maybe this should be a topic of conversation when you are getting to know someone. That way, maybe you can each have a better understanding of who the other person is and how they react in certain situations.

I think you also said something earlier about yourself being shy and not making the first move when it comes to "dating" someone but that you will let someone know you are attracted to them. I have to thank you for that because for me, if I know someone is attracted to me, I have no issues at all being the aggressive one. Even my introverted self can cross some boundaries. lol

Anyway, that's it... for now.

TruTexan 10-01-2014 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by honeybarbara (Post 939295)
ISFJ = ESFP or ESTP
INFP = ENFJ, ESFJ (looks like you are on the spot there! the F is pretty important CCB!)
INFJ = ENTP, ENFP
INTJ = ENTP, ENFP

I'm an ISFJ so where are the ESFPs and ESTPs around here?


Thanks HoneyB for making this list of pairings.

LOQUI 10-01-2014 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Femmadian (Post 939304)
On the second point I do agree and it has been my experience as well that T types tend to see (certain) feelings as something to "fix," but I try to remember that it comes from a place of wanting to help. Both F and T types try to help in their own ways, but they differ in how. F types tend to offer help by extending an empathetic ear or shoulder or by reassuring whoever's distressed that their feelings are valid or that yes, that ex really was a jerk and you are totally justified in feeling this way and omg, did I ever tell you the time my ex did something similar? Let's bond and commiserate over our shared experiences! Thinkers want to help too, but they try to distract the distressed, fix the issue that's causing what they perceive as negative or bad feelings, or try to change the way you feel about something by challenging it and trying to associate new emotions with the same stimuli. Both are compassionate in their own way and I think, ultimately, do mean well. They just express it differently. :)

[/$0.02]

INTJ here...The T part of it wants to say Thank you!

:hiding:

imperfect_cupcake 10-01-2014 11:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SleepyButch (Post 939317)
I'll take the test sometime later but what I do know is that I am an Introvert and shy (at first). What that usually means for me is that people think I'm stuck up or just not friendly, which is frustrating on many levels. Just because I sit back, observe, and don't talk much when I don't know you doesn't mean I'm not a friendly guy.

I also have dated my share of extroverts, some of who don't get the introvert thing at all because they have put me in really uncomfortable situations, which I never understood. Okay maybe that was just one or two of them.

On the other side of that, because they are extrovert, aren't they the ones who are supposed to be the outgoing, life of the party, who does all the talking? I agree that there is a lot of misconception on both parts and I also don't think that every introvert is the same and that every extrovert is the same.

I guess that maybe this should be a topic of conversation when you are getting to know someone. That way, maybe you can each have a better understanding of who the other person is and how they react in certain situations.

I think you also said something earlier about yourself being shy and not making the first move when it comes to "dating" someone but that you will let someone know you are attracted to them. I have to thank you for that because for me, if I know someone is attracted to me, I have no issues at all being the aggressive one. Even my introverted self can cross some boundaries. lol

Anyway, that's it... for now.

Extrovert Misconception... I watch rooms before I interact. I will stay quiet for as long as it takes to suss out people before I speak. I generally don't initiate conversations. But if someone says hello to me, I'm very warm and friendly.

I stayed very quiet and to myself in school (the one I'm in right now) for about three months before I spoke to people. Yes, people did think I was stuck up and judging them. And I can see why. I can't blame them for that, no more than I can blame people for thinking I'm flirting with them when I'm just being my warm friendly self.

People at school, when I was asked during one lunch discussion "what myers briggs are you" I said
"ENFP"
"YOU are an EXTROVERT????"
"yes."
"that can't be right."
"It is. Extroversion is only how one gets energy and how one processes info. that's it. nothing else."
"Wha-"
"I need to be around people or I get fatigued. I get depressed. I get exhausted by too much time on my own. And I can't process information internally. I *have* to speak or write in order to get it out so I can hear it or see it in order to think it through properly. But that's all extroversion is. that's it. How outgoing someone is, or how shy, that's a different trait."

Plus MOST people are not extroverts, nor are they introverts. They are Ambiverts. :)

all that extra stuff people tie to binaries... load of toss.

Most of my Partners have been gregarious and social introverts.

Katniss 10-02-2014 08:50 AM

Argumentative and unaware....great combo I got going on here....
 
ENTP

"Quick, ingenious, good at many things. Stimulating company, alert and outspoken. May argue for fun on either side of a question. Resourceful in solving new and challenging problems, but may neglect routine assignments. Skillful in finding logical reasons for what they want.

As a partner....

Sexually, the ENTP is enthusiastic and interested in positive, constant growth for both partners. They're likely to be very attentive, involved, and questioning. They enjoy spontaneity rather than fixed schedules, and fully embrace new ideas and adventures. They're likely to approach intimacy as more of a physical act which conveys affection, rather than as an opportunity to explicitly express affection.

In general, ENTP's childlike enthusiasm and genuine interest in the health and direction of the relationship makes them willing and able to promote healthy, growing relationships with their significant others. They need to watch out for their tendency to be unaware of what others are feeling, and to inadvertantly neglect their relationships when faced with exciting possibilities that are external to their personal life.

Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, ENTP's natural partner is the INFJ, or the INTJ.

Katniss~~(table for one please, and no, don't sit me by the kitchen, I want a window view.)

SleepyButch 10-02-2014 09:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katniss (Post 939480)
ENTP

"Quick, ingenious, good at many things. Stimulating company, alert and outspoken. May argue for fun on either side of a question. Resourceful in solving new and challenging problems, but may neglect routine assignments. Skillful in finding logical reasons for what they want.

As a partner....

Sexually, the ENTP is enthusiastic and interested in positive, constant growth for both partners. They're likely to be very attentive, involved, and questioning. They enjoy spontaneity rather than fixed schedules, and fully embrace new ideas and adventures. They're likely to approach intimacy as more of a physical act which conveys affection, rather than as an opportunity to explicitly express affection.

In general, ENTP's childlike enthusiasm and genuine interest in the health and direction of the relationship makes them willing and able to promote healthy, growing relationships with their significant others. They need to watch out for their tendency to be unaware of what others are feeling, and to inadvertantly neglect their relationships when faced with exciting possibilities that are external to their personal life.

Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, ENTP's natural partner is the INFJ, or the INTJ.

Katniss~~(table for one please, and no, don't sit me by the kitchen, I want a window view.)

We think you are just perfect the way that you are although I'll try to remember that bit about the window view. lol

SleepyButch 10-02-2014 09:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by honeybarbara (Post 939445)
Extrovert Misconception... I watch rooms before I interact. I will stay quiet for as long as it takes to suss out people before I speak. I generally don't initiate conversations. But if someone says hello to me, I'm very warm and friendly.

I stayed very quiet and to myself in school (the one I'm in right now) for about three months before I spoke to people. Yes, people did think I was stuck up and judging them. And I can see why. I can't blame them for that, no more than I can blame people for thinking I'm flirting with them when I'm just being my warm friendly self.

People at school, when I was asked during one lunch discussion "what myers briggs are you" I said
"ENFP"
"YOU are an EXTROVERT????"
"yes."
"that can't be right."
"It is. Extroversion is only how one gets energy and how one processes info. that's it. nothing else."
"Wha-"
"I need to be around people or I get fatigued. I get depressed. I get exhausted by too much time on my own. And I can't process information internally. I *have* to speak or write in order to get it out so I can hear it or see it in order to think it through properly. But that's all extroversion is. that's it. How outgoing someone is, or how shy, that's a different trait."

Plus MOST people are not extroverts, nor are they introverts. They are Ambiverts. :)

all that extra stuff people tie to binaries... load of toss.

Most of my Partners have been gregarious and social introverts.

The information in this thread is making my brain cells work, which is a good thing. I always thought that extroverts should be the outgoing ones who make up for us Introverts in any social situation.

I do like how that person told you "that can't be right." Made me actually lol.

clay 10-02-2014 11:18 AM

I am an ENFJ.
I love what HB said...so I am just like that in so many ways.
LOVE her word...ambivert". :)

imperfect_cupcake 10-02-2014 03:39 PM

Katniss! Aw that's why I get your posts ;)

I'm ENFP with my F and T constantly switching back and forth on tests depending where I take the test. I'm very cuspy with it. I finally settled that although I have a lot of entp characteristics, my F comes out slightly more. However, there are ENFP traits if really don't have - I don't fish for compliments, I don't constantly ask people how they feel (that's fucking annoying) and I am not conflict adverse.

If I could, I'd clip and paste my traits from ENTP and ENFP and make my more accurate tell.
Technically, I'm an ENxP (x being variable between f and t)

Oh it's all so complicated lol

Some people are xNFJ or... The x can be any cuspy trait.

JDeere 10-02-2014 07:22 PM

ENTP here

Using their primary function-attitude of extraverted intuition (Ne), ENTPs are quick to see complex interrelationships between people, things, and ideas. These interrelationships are analyzed in profound detail through the ENTPs auxiliary function, introverted thinking (Ti). The result is an in-depth understanding of the way things and relationships work, and how they can be improved. To the ENTP, competence and intelligence are particularly prized, both in themselves and in other people.

ENTPs are frequently described as clever, cerebrally and verbally quick, enthusiastic, outgoing, innovative, flexible, loyal and resourceful. ENTPs are motivated by a desire to understand and improve the world they live in. They are usually accurate in sizing up a situation. They may have a perverse sense of humor and sometimes play devil's advocate, which can create misunderstandings with friends, coworkers, and family. ENTPs are ingenious and adept at directing relationships between means and ends. ENTPs devise fresh, unexpected solutions to difficult problems. However, they are less interested in generating and following through with detailed plans than in generating ideas and possibilities. In a team environment, ENTPs are most effective in a role where they can draw on their abilities to offer deep understanding, a high degree of flexibility, and innovative solutions to problems. The ENTP regards a comment like "it can't be done" as a personal challenge, and, if properly motivated, will spare no effort to discover a solution.

Greco 10-02-2014 11:53 PM

types
 

INFP

(f) Greco

LOQUI 10-03-2014 03:20 AM

I completed the test using the link that hb provided, just to check how the results related with the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) I took some time ago...Well, apparently I can't escape my "destiny...INTJ once again...lol Guilty!

:hiding:

candy_coated_bitch 10-03-2014 03:44 PM

*breadcrumbs for someone I want to take the test*

Orema 10-06-2014 07:45 AM

I'm ENFJ. I looked up a couple of descriptions and most of what I saw was spot on, but some of it isn't. I'm going to take the test again after a long day. See if it's the same.

Thanks for posting this, HoneyBarbara.

imperfect_cupcake 10-06-2014 08:06 AM

Yeah, it's good to look at percentages. Things that are close to the middle (under 5%) either way, it's good to take again a couple of times.
If you keep coming up close to the middle on either side, it means you are ambivilant for that trait (mixed feelings or contrary ideas). For example, I'm ENxP - depending on what's going on I'll come out T or F. I act like both ENFP and ENTP.
Don't forget, these are rough and should really only be used as a place for introspection and self understanding. A good base for questioning. Companies use these things in the states (I'm told) to group employees or select teams (!?!) and self reporting is never really a good way to actually scientificaly do anything.
These things are fun to think about and I do consider others aside from their type. Healthy individuals should be able mix and I feel a little bit WIERD classifying everyone into 16 types based on jungian psychology.
But I think it's kind of fun and interesting and a way to chat and get to know people (I do this but I don't do that, that's way off)

Sweet Bliss 10-06-2014 08:44 AM

INFP

Geez. No wonder I'm single. I gravitate to peeps with a more logical step by step approach. Seeking balance and grounding. A rudder through the rough waters so to speak. Perhaps I need a Sailor, not a cowboy. :rofl: gotta love that leather saddle though.

Humm. Well buffet for thought. Think the toughest part for me is finding the person who craves the INFP to bring much needed traits to their life to bring balance.

What I seem to find is the peep who wants it but expresses disdain and criticism instead of open arms and heart.

WoW. Don't see a solution other than flying solo. :whoop:

Katniss 10-06-2014 08:48 AM

Leave it to an INFP like Greco to find some moving, lovely visual to post. :praying:

At least JDeere had a better description of us ENTPers than I found. :hamactor:

I agree with HB, these are basically fun and can be somewhat insightful but I would hate to lump the entire human race into 16 types of anything. I will say none of my numbers were "close" or on a "cusp" and I have taken this several times throughout the years. :fastdraq:

I was talking to a friend about this over the weekend and she is very much into personality tests, astrology, etc. She asked me about my astrological sign and I said "Aries" and she told me my Chinese zodiac sign was a "Fire Horse." I asked her what an ENTP/Aries/Fire Horse meant and she said "it means romantically you are screwed." :seeingstars:

Katniss~~ (Fine, more wine for me....)

LOQUI 10-06-2014 01:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katniss (Post 940411)
I agree with HB, these are basically fun and can be somewhat insightful but I would hate to lump the entire human race into 16 types of anything.

I was talking to a friend about this over the weekend and she is very much into personality tests, astrology, etc. She asked me about my astrological sign and I said "Aries" and she told me my Chinese zodiac sign was a "Fire Horse." I asked her what an ENTP/Aries/Fire Horse meant and she said "it means romantically you are screwed." :seeingstars:

Katniss~~ (Fine, more wine for me....)


I do totally agree with yours and hb conception; it is "fun and can be somewhat insightful" to consider these 'tools' but definitively while dealing with people there are a lot of diverse variables to consider since the many particularities that have an impact in our lives, as well as the environmental / contextual factors that for somes change almost every day. We are so rich, so unique, and we are all, somehow, eager for that sense of be lovable and for belonging...In midst of this, isnt' it great that we can't be all just be dumped in the same box?! Amazing as it is, it is also a call for us to connect with people and to try to understand from where each one is coming from; making ourselves vulnerable as part of such process...easy said than done, I know...
And, if that werent "complex" enough, we then add the Chinese zodiac!!
I would love to know what is your friend's opinion for a INTJ/Capricorn-Aquarius/Dragon...

Hmm red or white? :wine:
Oh, by the way, the window glass have been recently cleaned...

Have a great day!

:hiding:

CherryWine 11-19-2014 04:14 PM

I first took the MBTI test a couple of years ago and became slightly obsessed with it at the time, asking several of my close friends/family to take it as well. Ha!

I consistently score as INTP with a very high percentage in introversion. My partner scored as an ENTJ with a low percentage in extroversion, and I must say that our personalities do seem to fit together like a hand in glove. She totally gets my need to recharge after being in social settings with a lot of people. It literally takes days to recharge sometimes.

I am pretty sure that some people do read me as being aloof until I am comfortable enough around them to emerge from my shell. I don't like that I initially come off like that, but that is just me. Some of my very dear and very extroverted friends just don't seem to understand how I could possibly gain my energy from being alone. It baffles them. :)


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