This makes me sad, maybe you should go into business selling tortured stuffies.

I want to send you some "stuffies" so I can see what you do to them.
And, I want pictures.
I. need. them.

lol

Mare and I share a common interest (among the many) with "unusual" (twisted would be a better word) dolls. She has quite a collection of them, actually.

I would be obliged to do this if you really want me to .... I also am working on "bad butch fairies"...am hoping to have them up for sale by xmas... really disgusting lovable little shits...

Bad Butch Fairies? Yeayyyy!

Oh somebody made me a butch fairy doll once! The doll's name was Horny! :D

See why I love you, ENERGY is so HOT and where we derive our ENERGY can vary. :wolf:whistle

OMG!!! Big trouble ahead...

:sailing: ... away...

thanks martina. I don't use any kind of qualifier. Nor do I use them with anyone else. When I have a gathering of friends, I don't refer to someone as my "femme" friend. or a "butch" buddie. They are my friend. I don't gender, race or sexuality denote/qualify my relationships to others. Why do they need to know what sexuality they are? when talking I don't say "my lesbian friend" or "my femme friend" or "my spanish friend"

Butches and femmes are just people, just like everyone else. just as diverse. I hate people assuming I know what they are talking about just because they have the same gender expression grouping I do. That's like assuming all people who wear the colour blue have x things in common. I don't. and stop assuming they do.

I have a strong thread of androgenous femininity/masculine femininity in me.
I can be completely gender neutral half the time, especially at work.
I don't like to be refered to by my gender(s). Ever. Use my name. And don't assume you know anything about me simply by my sexuality or because you know one of my genders.
I like gender neutral pronouns and she. if someone doesn't know me, if the world was perfect, I'd prefer they refered to me by gender neutral. And I wish this was done at work.
I'm not interested in how "you" see femmes anymore than being interested in how "you" see any group of people en mass.
Make a single joke about "femmes" and how we all can't drive (or whatever) and I'm more than likely to tell you a joke about all the stupid backward bitches like you I've met too. Sure is funny, you stupid backward bitches! but bless, ain't you cute in your own way? And really I love stupid backward bitches and have the utmost respect for them.

it speaks volumes to *me* that the discussion on this thread has woven around to the making and selling of 'bad butch faries' and the few word responses to the afore mentioned farie dolls...

I may well be wrong in my impression, and I may well be wrong in leaving any comment....still, I just find it so telling that when the question of Fierce Femmes and the whole range of self-expressions is on the table, the discussion comes back to butches and dolls

Lmao! Sorry I have my life in the evenings and have not been back to post anything more heavy. But no I did not plan to end up talking about Butches and dolls, but I must admit to being amused my my own mental pictures of stuffed animals with backwards heads.

I actually do sometimes use Femme qualifiers because I am so excited to have Femme friends. I knew zero other Femmes before finding the Internets (heh) and it still makes me happy to be able to say "my Femme friend________". I think those of us who do not live in cities with millions of people and have less opportunity to see and meet other Femmes are maybe even a little star struck by other Femmes.

Also for me, the word "She" holds great power. Maybe because my mother died when I was a kid and Women have always been these mystical elusive creatures to me. I feel honored to be a She, while at the same time having a piggish teen aged boy/James Bond thing going on in my head.

As a child I wanted to be a boy about half of the time. I am not into sports either, not do I work on cars, though I can to a degree work on older cars(due to having owned some doozies in the past). I like books, art, music, theater, history and things of that nature.

I always rebelled at the thought that boys and girls had a completely different set of rules on how to act....which now gets carried over to Butch-Femme to quite an extent.

Except.

I love the transgressive feeling I get after work reading the newspaper while my big tattooed BullDyke G/F fixes dinner for me. It's HOT.

Oh and, yeah, my driving record is perfect.

So glad you came up with a catchy name. Thank you for this thread - what a breath of fresh air ...

I am femme, no doubt about it :spruceup: but if something needs fixin' or there's hard work to be done or something needs drivin' - I'm on it, and don't you dare try to belittle or redefine me. :pirate-steer:

I used to enjoy driving the big trucks at work back before they got so picky about CDL's and all.

I went by Big Rig Jenny! :)

i loved this post so much i had to quote part of it back.

Let's not forget MOMMY can be totally fierce!!!

ADULT LANGUAGE IN USE: YOU BE WARNED!

[nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAk1dt13yLA"]YouTube- Missy Elliott - Mommy[/nomedia]

My Femme laughs at fart jokes, likes porn, and drives too slow - AND is a Feminist. :)

i am femme,,,
i am submissive,,,
but since my butch was super quiet, i was the one who will always fight for her, but she was very protective of me,,, :|
i guess we're different from the others because we both don't believe in toys, i mean, strap ons, vibrators, plastic cocks, dildos, etc...
:thumbsup:

i love all of this! yes yes and yes!

i have said 'femme friend' because it's short-hand for 'she who gets a MAJOR part of my life without explanation, above all others' additionally, why not use the title (qualifier, if you must) for what it is, a title of respect?

<3

So glad I am not the only one to proudly say...this is My Femme Friend! :)

just droppin' in to ask:
:wtf: is a "bad butch fairy"?

So as an ally all you got out of the convos was this???

um, no. but it is the one question that continues to tickle my grey matter ... so far. :watereyes:

This is the only Fairy Butch I know of

Is he bad?

I can't really say, rumor has it hy maybe a lil wicked...

I think if I die and go to hell, it will be a baby shower that never ends.

This is a great thread - thanks for starting it.

I'm a femme whose ID has morphed a lot since I came out 4 and a half years ago. I guess I'm not a baby-femme anymore, but I understand now more than in the past that I am still discovering who I am and what I enjoy and/or will enjoy in the future. I suspect it may be my fate in life to continually be going through some sea change, and that's alright I guess.

I don't think of myself as fierce, but I'm glad there are fierce femmes here. I feel like a guy a lot of the time, but I live in the femme. Both elements seem to me to be my nature.

Lately I have decided that for me all lines that separate one thing from another need to be dotted, permeable. Like the walls of a cell, I guess.

Several of you in this thread have helped me understand myself better by sharing your lives and experiences and that means a great deal. So thanks.

I totally feel like a guy most of the time. Some can see it, some can't.

Those who do see it are most dear to me!

4 and 1/2 years? Man time flies! xoxooxox

Apoc! Im with you on the whole baby-shower thing.

Jack and I had to attend one about a week ago for my little cousin and both of us were in excrutiating grossness with all the shower games and "ooh-ing" and "aah-ing".
No, I do NOT want to try to draw a baby on a paper plate with my eyes closed but I will oblige for the sake of my beloved cousin.

Im always really amused too at how other (mostly straight) women shriek in horror when I tell them I don't really like kids and never want to have any of my own. Sometimes I feel like I have just told them that my uterus is made of acid and Im not really human by their reactions.

On some level, I think its the whole expectation for some that woman=Mother=nurturer. Have a big fat bitch tell you that she hates kids and the little bubble of "Stepford Pussy" is popped rather easily.

Fantastic thread!

So it's been a year and much has changed.

Still Femme

Still fierce

Discovering my Momi side. Learning to accept sweetness in my life and that gentle kisses and cuddling do not make me weak.

LOveee "Stepford Pussy"! lmaorof

Still hate baby showers

Sending out a big hello to all my Fierce Femme Sisters and Allies!

Just wondering how different femmes here at BFP participate in creating more visibility for femmes at queer events like Pride, or if you've ever partaken in any kind of femme event of some sort.

Also, do you see an effort to create more visibility for femmes within the queer community where you live? How about at Pride events where you live? Is that something you actively try to create more of, and if so how do you go about it?

When we were younger the Ohio femme population would place "Femme" stickers on our asses, we'd all walk around and clearly as diverse you could see we were a force to reckon with. As older femmes we now gather at one place and wear our femme pride without needing that sticker, once you meet a femme, well we are hard to forget. We attend events the younger crowds now put on and support and still have our phone tree:).

Here in Florida I've yet to find Femme companions, which is kinda sad.

As a Femme ally, what do you Ender do to help keep our visibility out there?

Great questions.

The town I live in often has a Femme contingent in the Pride Parade.
I must admit I've not joined it, my lack of participation isn't out of apathy, but because I enjoy watching the whole parade. Also, I live in a town that has a very high % of queer families and is an ultra-liberal bubble. Its easy to take visibility/acceptance for granted here.

But that wasn't always the case. When I was younger Femme visibility was really important to me because I felt invisible to everyone (queer & heterosexual). I spent a lot of time empowering myself and my peers - to be out and loud and fierce.

But now I am older, self-confident and I am blessed to have some fabulous Femme friends who live right here and that I spend time with. So, I've not felt the need to join a specific Femme group.

I'm politically active, but I choose carefully which queer political battles I get involved in and I direct my energy and resources in those directions. Femme visibility, while important, is not a high priority politically *for me*.

All that said, I've seen a rise in the number of Femme visibility and coalition building groups in some of the nearby big cities like New York and Boston in recent years. And I think it is GREAT! especially for young or just coming out Femmes.

Great posts!

To be honest, I have not gone to Pride the past few years or participated much in Queer events locally and that needs to change! I was in a relationship and my G/F was a home body and we just did not go.

But Ender your post really made me re-think....I do need to get involved in more Femme stuff and making ourselves more visible...htough it does seem with the younger Lesbians, being Femme or Lipstick is WAY more accepted than back in the 80's.

So I guess I need to look up when Pride is this year and go.

I think Christie is wanting to come down for Nash Pride. Last time it was on the riverfront and she came close to heat stroke.. ack.. Hoping they move it back to the park, much nicer/ roomy and more places to escape the heat! Hope to see you :)

I really like the use of "fierce" and femme together! Just do.

You betch'er glittery fierce femme self needs to go to Pride this year! We will be there, avoiding heat stroke, and honestly, I've not experienced much of being unaccepted - in fact, most of the "kinder queers" (younger crowd) I've known in Nashville actually love that I am comfortable embracing femme.