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i'm out everywhere. it's kind of hard to miss that i am lez. i wear pride rings and necklaces. i'm proud of who i am
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I am out at work...and I work with all straight guys. I have no problems. The guys also try to include my thoughts and opinions on the conversations about women. It's like I am just another guy to them. I really am happy and grateful about that. I am also aware that kitchens are not like other work places...i don't know if I would be so openly gay in a more professional enviroment.
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I am also out at work, and I agree that it's extremely important... but I do understand that it's sadly just not possible for some people and some working environments. My company is extremely liberal, donated money to fight Prop 8 and includes both sexual orientation and gender expression in its nondiscrimination policy.
Even though I've never made it a secret, occasionally I am surprised to learn that a coworker has worked alongside me for two years and had no idea. Some of my friends joke that I'm a "stealth lesbian," even though I wear little rainbow ring earrings every day... so I recently had thin rainbow bands tattooed around my left wrist, also, of which I am very fond. I'd like to say it helps me be more visible, but I guess that remains to be seen (accidental play on words, but I'm keeping it)! A continuing source of frustration for me is my seeming invisibility sometimes... it's difficult to let all these wonderful butches know I'm here. :) |
“Burst down those closet doors once and for all, and stand up and start to fight.” Harvey Milk
I am Queer everywhere I go. |
I am out at work. For the most part I don't have any trouble. My OR Manager doesn't care for me. I have never had any problems till I started to work at the hospital I am at now.
I just do my job, don't talk about my private life. I do have some good friends there. |
out at work since day one! Two hours into my first day the other librarians took me to lunch- the very second our waiter left with our drink orders, out came THE QUESTION: "so, are you married?" :spruceup: DOH! Do i lie and say yes, or lie and say no? i decided to say "i am engaged but i can't get married because it's illegal here" |
Yes, I am out at work and everywhere. I just got back home from the BV conference in West Hollywood this past weekend. The topic of "visibility" came up during the "Many Faces of Butch" panel presentation.
It occurred to me that many of us limit visibility to outward appearance. Are you passing or not passing? I think visibility goes to who we see ourselves to be, how do we give that self identity expression and do we invite or participate in educating others? One can be "out" without looking like a stereotype of what it means to be Queer. Another thing that came to my attention is how important it can be to some of our elders, the ones that came before us and took risks busting down the doors. They see much of this "moving forward" in our community as an attempt to blend in and lose our history, herstory, power. This gives me something to think about. I will not forget. Without the first and second wave of Feminism I do not believe my world as a Transmasculine Butch/Transman would be possible. |
My co-workers who have taken the time to know me at all, also know about my partner and our life together. I refuse to speak in generalizations or change the gender when I'm talking about what's going on. I do not discuss my life with my clients, though, and some of the nosier ones are under the assumption that I'm engaged to a man. These are senior citizen counseling clients, and there is no good reason to get that personal with them.
While I am out and open, I do feel that my life is personal. Not everyone cares about me or supports me, so I do try to be aware of who I let in. If you know me on Facebook, though, you had better be prepared for some educating. |
Yes. I've been out in every job I've held (bar one) since I was 19.
It was unsafe for me to be out at that one particular job; but I felt incredibly disingenuous none the less. I feel strongly that I do not wish to work for anyone who is homophobic. I get the outting out-of-the-way early by citing the work I did with Stonewall Lobby Group and other local queer non-profits on my curriculum vitae. But I rarely out myself to my "clients"; if I am talking (with them) about myself/my personal life I am not doing my job well. |
Well beign as I started a new job a couple of weeks ago...so far nothing has been said about my queerness.Really they cant miss it,big pride ring on,wear mens clothes,deep voice ect.I work in a religious hospital so im waiting for it to come up but its not anyones buisness about my sexuality.U cn bet I wont deny it if it dose.
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I am out at work
I am out at home I am out at my children's school (from nursery to college) The only time I have been told I could not be out with work - was when I was invited to Afghanistan. I can handle that. There are other countries in which I will travel to (third world) that I will not be out. I would face imprisonment or death. |
Yes, I am out at work--and there are other queers there as well as one hottie femme <g>. Kinda hard to look like me and not be assumed to be a butch dyke. Also, I have the luxury of being out--I live in the San Francisco area, and there are lots of us here. I've always been out.
I don't so much see that we're trying to blend in by hiding what we look like but blend in so that people think we deserve Gay marriage. Not my words, the words of those 10 and 20 years younger than me. I think that many queers face discrimination so best to fly under the radar, not draw attention their way and I totally get that. You've got to do what's safe. My roots are in counter culture, so fitting in and being the "norm" never occurred to me or seemed fun. Rope-- |
I've been out every where I've worked but one, the AF. This was before DADT when one could either not join or join and keep ones mouth shut. I was always obvious, but no one ever messed with me. At my MOS I wore a weapon, they knew better.
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Yes, everywhere.
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everyone i work with closely knows. if it comes up in any way with those i more casually associate with or on different teams i have no problem letting them know.
Once I'm staff instead of contract (next week) I'll be joining the LGBT group at our office. The company has domestic partnership benefits and a diversity policy that specifically calls out gay/lesbian/trans folk in terms of equal treatment/non discrimination etc. But it's a very large corporation so it kind of has to have those policies in place. |
I'm out at work... always have been. I just keep it basic. When I start a new job, I just put photos of me and my family up in my cubicle or whatever like anyone else would. I let people ask questions if they choose. I don't make a big deal out of it and I think because of that, others don't make a big deal out of it either (usually). ;)
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As Timber said, I'm out at work.
I am a medical secretary, and I work for 3-4 physicians, and with a nursing staff of 11. They all know. It's not an issue. They've all met Timber, and like hir. I don't normally out myself to patients, with the exception of when I'm working with lesbian couples. We do infertility work, and often a woman comes in with her "friend". When we are doing their paperwork for treatment, and I'm helping them with notarized documents, I let them know that I'm family in a subtle way, when it's really clear to me that they are a couple. I tell them that I hate that they have to sign documents that say they are a single woman, because our state won't acknowledge same sex couples as having rights to have children together. When they relax, I let them know that I'm family, too. It so often opens them up, and lets them feel more comfortable and reassured that they won't be judged in a negative way. I always wish them luck before I go. Sometimes they see me again, while in the office once they are pregnant. It's always special to me, when they take a moment to thank me. It's nothing that I do, but make them feel as at home as any other patient or couple. They have a right to a family, too. WT P.S. A couple of months ago, I was talking with a few of my nurses, and said something about being engaged. One of them said, "You can't be engaged. You can't get married." I told her, "Marriage is a ceremony to join two spirits, therefore, not only can I be engaged, I can get married. The government just won't recognize it." Others around looked at her and laughed at her for not thinking that far ahead. They had to agree with me. |
It hurts my heart to say I am not out at work. I am an educator and I live in a very conservative state and my boss, my boss's boss, and my boss's boss's boss are all religious zealots (and not the groovy kind).
I do not discuss my personal life with my coworkers because I don't want to lie to them. I have told a couple of people who I am friends with and they understand the need for discretion. I hate that I have to be closeted, I mean really hate it. I am just biding my time until I complete my master's degree and can find a job somewhere that it will be if not celebrated than at least ignored. Cold comfort that. |
A dear friend of mine is a gay male and he's a teacher at an elementary school. He is out with his coworkers and staff and they are very supportive because he's a great teacher and the kids love him. I think he's out with a few of the parents, but not all. It still impresses me since this is in Virginia.
I know you'll find a place that welcomes you completely! Don't lose hope! :) Quote:
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Sadly I'm not out at work its an internship so I don't want to influence them in any way. But it is great that everyone else can be. Maybe when I get a full time position some place then I will come out!!
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I was "outed" at work, once the bruhaha died down, it was all good.
I'm pretty private, but ultimately all of my worlds collided. |
I've never really been out at work, but now with starting My new job tomorrow and beginning My transition this friday I'll have to be out atleast somewhat since I'll be going through My changes as I work
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I am not out at work because alot of people judge me there already
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out at work
i was out at work before my transition and during.........
my company has a very comprehnsive diversity policy, covering sexual preference and gender identity. there are a few people who were initially uncomfortable with my transition. i guess it was ok for me to be a big dyke, but when i became a man, it was a bit of an adjustment for them. all in all, it as been a very positive experience. i have even been promoted to management since i transitioned. i love my job. @ |
I'm always out at work. I don't see any reason not to be. I mean I don't go flying a rainbow flag around or anything but if some nosey old lady asks me if I'm married or if I have a boyfriend I say no I am the boyfriend or I'm a homo I like women. There is no need for both of us to be uncomfortable, it might as well be her.
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Yes I have always been out at every job since I was 14 years old, even though I have worked in some awfully homophobic and sexist environments. It can be very tiring answering the questions of the sheltered and confused, and I admit in recent years my tolerance for educating folks has waxed and waned. Recently I am just as likely to say "Google it" as provide a diplomatic answer. After 30 years I'm tired of being a 24/7 diplomat for the gay community.
My physical appearance does not allow me the option to pass as heterosexual since I am read as "butch dyke". Heterosexuals I've known who "read" as gay are quick to mention their opposite sex partners in casual conversation so I guess if I wanted to create a fictional life I could try it. That might be fun! :lol2: I know someone who invented a fictional baby so she could call out from work when she wanted because "the baby is sick". I always thought that was shocking- I guess because I tend to cultivate friendships among coworkers and don't want to lie to them. I do think it's important for gays and lesbians to be out to everyone and feel that is what- more than any formal activism- has transformed broad public opinion in our favor. But it is tiring. :rainbowAfro: |
I've been out at every job except one and that being the US Army, back then there was no such thing as DADT, you told and you were dishonorbly discharged.
I've been out most of my life to my family. I've always been out to my clients as well (I own my own business). If there was anyone in this town who didn't know prior to Nov 2007 they sure as hell know now. My wife passed away Nov 26, 2007, we were together nearly 17 years. I was listed as the surviving spouse and my parents were listed as her surviving "parents" as well in the small local paper as well as the larger paper of the big city we lived in. I was expecting some backlash perhaps at the funeral home because this is a small town but they were as gracious, accomadating and sympathetic as they come. They treated me and my wife with dignity. My clients sent flowers, a lot of them also attended her funeral as well. They were all great during this difficult time and they all saw that yes, we can have meaningful relationships and marriages as well. My parents and my siblings were awesome as was the rest of my large family. All my brothers were pallbearers as they loved her very much. My parents flanked me on each side and held my hands as I was led down the aisle at the start of the service. The service itself was led by a femme lesbian minister. It was beautiful, loving and portrayed her as the deeply loved and lovely woman she was. I wanted my family, my clients and anyone who wanted to be there to see that yes we exist, that yes we love, that yes we grieve and yes, our families are just like any other family. |
Have I gone as far as telling my current boss outright? No. I have a lovely string of rainbow crystals hanging from the mirror in my car and my "Pride Charlotte" sticker is in my rear window. The last time she rode in my car she closely examined those crystals and made no comment. We don't talk about our personal lives which, after my last boss Ms. TMI, is just fine with me. If she asks I will answer her truthfully. But I doubt that will ever happen. My boss is a lady who would never dream of poking around in my personal business. Not that it would matter to her anyway. There is a very out and proud attorney in town who happens to be gay and lives across the street from my boss. They are very close friends. She also used to work with an attorney who happened to be a lesbian.
I was out at my last job and it caused no problems. In fact she may have been a bad boss but she is a staunch supporter of the LGBT community and allowed me to work on things for Pride (and the half dozen other LGBT groups I was associated with) during my hours and use company resources like the copier. The job prior to that - no way. In fact it was at that job where I knew I would be fired. But it was while I was working at this job when I became involved with Pride and several other LGBT groups. I knew that I ran a risk because the high visibility of some of the projects meant I would be in the mainstream media from time to time and really didn't care. If it cost me my job then so be it. (It has nothing to do with my job performance.) And it was while I was working here and taking this risk that my Mom told me that she and my Dad were proud of me - the first time I heard this from them in 47 years. I wouldn't trade that for anything. |
yes, i am out at work and in all aspects of my life..there are people at work who might not know, but that is probably due to the fact they don't know me much.. my friends there talk about it openly when i'm around and are comfortable with doing so..
i work with a cousin, my stepmother, an aunt and a few close friends.. so people know usually through them, especially my cousin, she loves gossip and feeding a good story to all, "hey, did you know..." lol.. if they ask me, i'd gladly tell them .. but of course no one really asks.. i've only had to tell a few - the word spreads around via them, or my cousin probably, lol. i have worked in some really homophobic environments in the past, so happy that my current job isn't like that at all.. although there are a few who don't like it, they just don't voice it but it's obvious in their actions... |
At work, I don't put my buisness on the streets, but I also don't hide who I am. Also, at my job, there is not a lack of "family" and never has been. Overall, I do love to socialize and chatter my gums, but I keep to myself when it comes to my private life and others. I don't put myself out or into someone else's personal matters.
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I was on my enrollment information conference call about next year's benefits yesterday...more than 100 of us listening to the HR director.
She said...before we begin, I want to reiterate that if I slip and say "spouse" that also means "domestic partner"...so mostly I'm just gonna' try to say "your honey"...we all good with that? Ever heard 100 voices all agree at once? :) My company offers full and equal benefits to "my honey" and her son. Not only that, but she can earn the same incentives I can...which means they'll pay "my honey" $100 a month for using the free gym membership that they provide to both of us. Guess they want "my honey" to be healthy too. That's just how we roll. :hangloose: Did I mention I love my company? So much for tales of corporate evil... |
I work for Fedex and have been for almost 2 years. While it has its annoying moments, the people I work with are awesome and trustworthy. All of them known I'm gay, and I even came out to my HR person (well....that's kind of a story in of itself). When I moved in with my partner, I was surprised to see that Fedex offers benefits to Domestic Partners. I think that it's awesome that they are open to diversity.
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just one of the guys
I was out at work before I even started working there. I took my father's place when he retired and so everyone knew from him.
I'm treated as one of the guys/little sister by the guys. This means I am subjected to more burps and farts than I exactly care fore. :) Other than that, my guys are cool. They don't get all pervy and ask about bedroom details. And the president of the company has made it clear that I am always welcome to bring a 'significant other' to company functions. I have noticed that a couple of the girls in the back office get a little flirty with me even though they are married to men. I guess they think that since I'm a lesbian I would be into them? Lol I don't think they get that I'm not into girls who share their nail polish and make up tips with me. :D |
No one ever concludes I'm Queer unless I bring up the subject. Being taken for a straight woman is a curse to me, so I tend to speak up when it's assumed I'm the *little* woman and they ask about my husband.
My company is very progressive and offers domestic partnership health care, although the US doesn't allow it to be tax free as mine is, I'm happy that I've been able on ocassion cover my parter when I was partnered. Been out in every job I've had since I first stepped outta dat closet. |
I'm not sure I couldn't be
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Being a 5'10" Amazon Femme with gay pride tattoos. I couldn't hide it. Not that I've ever wanted too. I'm out to everyone that spends more than 5 minutes talking to me. lol
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out..
Yep, 100%.... I work in a field that is full of us, though... so it isn't that difficult.
:aslpeacelove: Starry |
Not yet
there is still discrimination in my work place, so no one knows. I don't talk about my private life at all at work, so I don't know if anyone would know even if there was no discrimination. It doesn't really bother me, it doesn't change who I am, so I haven't really given it much thought. But I am single, so perhaps if I had a partner, I would want the benefits to cover them as well, and maybe then it would be an issue for me.
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My boss the match-maker
A funny thing happened earlier in the week. My boss emailed me to ask if I knew someone she was with at a business conference out of state for the company. It turned out that the woman she asked me about and I had, in fact, worked on another project together.
When I asked my boss why she was asking I was shocked that she said she was thinking that maybe I would be interested in dating this other woman. I thought it was sweet, but also a bit odd to have my boss trying to be a match-maker for me! |
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Many at work know i'm gay now. I have found my company is very accepting however i am still somewhat careful with whom i tell. Mostly because it is no one's buisness unless "i" feel like it is. Snacktime has met my boss, the office secretary and as a matter of fact also met my company's pastor (hospice clergy). They were very accepting and treated him with respect and ask about him from time to time and stuff. It feels good to be accepted. It feels good to not hide. Now, just gotta work on the rest of the world.... *smiles. |
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