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Note: The house has been running as if driven by whip.
Me: You know..We have 15 minutes til we have to leave..*pours large cup of to-go coffee* Room mate aka "The Hobbit": Dude I need breakfast..I just can't live off of your diet anymore. :blink: Me: *takes long drink of coffee* What do you mean? :confused: Hobbit: I can't live off of coffee man..I need actual food. Me: *pauses* I eat... Hobbit: Snacking while cooking dinner then running off does NOT count as a full meal. Me: I snack during breakfast, too. :| (side note: the house is actually driven by coffee..I was just informed. :| ) |
ok a little background is needed so you all dont think im a complete nutcase...smells im not used to kinda freak me out...even tho realistically i know many unharmful things cant alter the waysomething smells or if no smell give it smell so with that in mind...
i had went into our bathroom to pee,here comes Jo...for some reason i rarely get to pee alone(i love you baby but yanno its true) Me: umm honey i think something may be wrong? Jo: why you say that? Me: well my urine(yes i said urine) smells funny Jo: oh honey in general you just smell funny :passinggas: :| |
Scoote really isn't making this stuff up...
A moment ago...
Rooster and Scoote have been blaming each other for :fart: Rooster grabs mini-dachshund Shadow (notorious for having bad breath), points his butt at Scoote and pretends to aim... Scoote: Honey, he's loading the dog again and threatening me Rooster: I'm gonna' shoot Jo: :blink: Scoote: I'll stick my finger in there and let it come out the other end Rooster: :blink: Scoote: You ain't smelled bad breath until you smell butt breath boy Rooster: :giggle: |
Not sure that this qualifies but i'm gonna post anyway...cause i'm like that.
Talking to Snack on messenger this morning. He leaves to go get a hair cut. Then about 10 minutes later i get a message...something like this: ql23kij42klfkj alaksjdfl. This is something we do if we are upset or aggrevated, just wiggle our fingers on the keyboard. So i type: honey, are you upset? Did she not have time to cut your hair? Then i see "snacktime is typing a message" So i wait, and i wait and i wait. Nothing. I call His phone..no answer. Now i'm getting a little worried. Has a bankrobber serial killer entered into his home and drown Him in the tub with a broom? Did He need a haircut so bad that He lost it and kidnapped the hair cut lady? Did He fall and is foaming at the mouth from a heart attack? All sorts of things going through my mind. Finally, He calls.....He is at the hair place. All is well. We figured out the message i got was from His kitty kats. :giggle: |
There is no one to talk to in my house. But I am enjoying this thread. You all are a riot!
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Oh and I love when we both shrugged our shoulders at Miss Pink and she busted out laughing! |
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Let's paint the whole picture. Shad compared the slutty angel to me, kinda. I agreed and hy said, you are bad girl, go to my room, I'll be there in an hour. To which I replied in amazement, an hour???? That's a long time.........To which you BOTH, at the SAME time, mirror imaged each other and shrugged like it was no big deal. :seeingstars: |
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huggles my pinky girl. An hour is a LONG time. No matter what those two say....shrugs or no shrugs. You got my vote girl. ;) ps it's scary how close alike those two think huh. |
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We all laughed! |
Going out to dinner, and I've been bugging Scoote for hours...
Jo: Honey, you know I'm gonna' be 85 years old and still driving you crazy Scoote: I know, but by then my hearing will be gone and I won't know or care :blink: |
Conversations with a best friend.
Me: Oh man, my hands are so dry they are cracking. It sucks. I put lotion on and they burn like a mother. A: I have some great stuff we use at the hospital. Let me get it for you. (Digging through the handbags in her closet). Ok the only problem is this stuff stinks like tampons. Me: What? You want me to put tampon lotion on my hands? A: Duh! This stuff is amazing! Just try it! Me: (Putting it on) Holy crap! It does work. It is like a tampon glove of love for my fingies. A: I told you! I wish Avon would make a flavor other than tampon. Me: So, I should probably wash my hands before we make cookies or everyone cookies are going to taste like tampons. A: Good idea. At least they will taste like fresh tampons. |
More romantic moments from the Scoote and Jo household...
Laying in bed and Scoote :fart:
Jo: Honey, do you have a frog in your butt again? Scoote: Sounded more like a duck... Jo: :blink: I hope it isn't a very big duck...that could hurt Scoote looks thoughtful for a moment Scoote: More like a little one from the sound of it. |
before the duck last night
i never know where my mind will go or what thoughts may pop into them--sometimes at the most inopportune times so anyway...im laying in bed last night waiting on Jo and she walks out half dressed(just underthings)so im looking at her then kinda laugh and make a comment about something being wrong with me
Jo: what r u laughing at? Me: well dont take this wrong,but it just occurred to me that ur belly pooch is lower--perhaps thats what makes ur butt come up on your back like that Jo: :blink: :| Me: no worries honey my ass is so big it pulls my belly up under my boobs :cracked: the thought alone almost made me pee on myself |
Shit Heard Around My Mama's House
Just so y'all know I come by my smart-assedness honestly.... Today at my Mama's house this is a one liner from my Mama..."I'm gonna go to the airport to get one of them body searches, I ain't been FELT UP in YEARS!"
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:rofl: :pointing: :flying: |
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Thank you PURE BELLE! Muah....and, yes, vewy skeery, those two! |
The extra love n care around here is just oozing these days. "...I sucked the pickle juice off before I put it in yer tuna. I didn't want it to get all soggy" :chef: What makes this comment extra Speshel? :sunglass: Daywalker said it to the Mrs. Daywalker. :|........:shocking: Not the other way around. Wwweeeeeeeee :rofl: :daywalker: |
We didn't have the heat on but it's been dreary and damp and chilly enough that our sliding glass door fogged up due to the temperature difference.
I snuck up behind Organic and wrote H E L P! backwards on the window and put a squiggle underneath it. He looked over and said, "Now, what if someone from the apartments across the street sees it and calls the cops?" I said, "First of all, the cops have bigger fish to fry than you keeping me hostage. Secondly, there's a SQUIGGLE under it. No one would take it seriously." Organic goes over and, instead of wiping it off, writes N O backwards in shaky weird lettering underneath. Me: Oh, that is SO much better! They won't suspect anything from THAT. :blink: |
We're watching horrible, I mean HORRIBLE, movies during the down time while Organic is at work. We watched Highway to Hell with Kristy Swanson and Chad Lowe. Ugh. Then he started up some Road to Promythius (or some such nonsense) and started complaining because they didn't stab a guy to his specifications. I said that it was a crappy movie and what did he expect and Organic said, "I expect them to stab a muthafucka and not just stab the ground!"
:blink: Yes, we have high standards at our home. |
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*said to Zoe (my cat) as she is twirled around in my lap earlier while trying to get comfortable*
Please remove your paw from my crotch. Her response? :| |
During our 984 miles in 48 hr road trip to Nashville over Christmas...
Me: "Its clear this way." Jess: "Good thing - I wasn't lookin' anyway" Pure example of why you nap as little as possible when its not your turn to drive! |
My 21 year old incredibly spoilt daughter who's visiting from Israel and who seems oblivious to the fact that Christmas does not just 'happen' by itself (in response to my request that she pick up something from right in front of her on the floor)...
''Oooooooooooh Maaaaaaama, come on, you want me to bend? I'm tiiiiiiiiiired.'' *Sigh.* Words |
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i can feel Organic on this...i mean if you are gonna stab someone you GOT to do it right! sheeesh |
Papa, while reading in bed: "My hands are cold. I think I need some reading gloves."
:glasses: :reader: :superfunny: :knitboy: I'm on it! |
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(Its an old joke - if you haven't heard it, lemme know and I'll post it!) |
first, I need to set up what was going on. on t.v. the news had a story about Gene Keady ( who was Purdue University basketball coach ) was selling some of his items. My sister was watching it and I was walking thru the family room. News dude : Gene Keady is selling his six foot nutcracker soldiers my sister: wow. that would definitely crack your nuts! me: :|:|:| i keep walking thru while looking at her like this :| |
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my very smart 7 year old daughter to me* Mama what are these (holding Desd birth control pills) so I tell her and her responce ...... Mama Hide them as she runs away with them I want a little brother HUH say what
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Hubby heads out to chop wood. Wifey sitting on sofa reading book. Hubby keeps coming back in and sticking his hands in between her thighs. After about the 4th time, she asks what he is doing. "Warming up my hands, dear." She looks at him and asks, "Aren't your damned ears cold yet?!?!?" :dance2: |
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Brrrrrr.... my ears are freezin off! :freak: |
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