Overheard in the BowWow household last night.


The boy: I just wanted to let you know we are almost in emergency crisis mode.
Me: Emergency crisis mode? What, prey-tell, is that?
The boy: We only have a stick and a half of butter left!
Me: :|

In Trader Joe's:

"What's the difference between firm tofu, and extra firm tofu? Is it the taste?"

On a suburban street in Columbus OH, one woman to another, looking out at the remains of a skunk run over in the street:

"At least the skunk smell masks the smell of decomposition."




(I'm thinking that someone has been watching a bit much of the Casey Anthony trial.)

overheard at the tarjzay

small child holding a transformers monopoly game - "i really need to get this one"
accompanying adult figure - "wouldn't you rather get something fun like hungry hippos"
small child - "no way that's childs prey"

I overheard this a couple years ago but I hope I don't forget it:


Asa was about 9 and we were at a Cub Scouts jamboree, or whatever. This time, I was the only Mama with our troop; all the other parents were Papa's. One of the littler Cub Scouts says, "You're supposed to bring your dad." And Asa says, with resignation in his voice, "Don't worry. It's not going to make any difference."

I just want to add that I pinned those Papi's asses in archery! Oh! Yeah! Woo-woo-woo!

Overheard in the Old Port:
 

Guy on his cell: "Hey man, I thought that we had plans to eat grilled cheese sandwiches today."

overheard at the safeway (by the yogurt)


"that's jacked up! i can't believe he's marrying her; i'm the one who brought the 151."

Overheard in store
 

conversation between 5 year old and her mom.

little girl: mommy didn't you say you wanted to go look at toys?
mom: no, I'm pretty sure that's not what I said

little girl now has an intense look on her face, clearly thinking.

little girl: mommy would you like me to look at the toys for you? I promise to come back and tell you what I saw.

me to the mother: how old she?
mom: the little old lady is five. I swear she's been here at least 5 times already.

we both laughed

strange things were definitely afoot
 

overheard at the circle k

"ninja monkeys! hell yeah!"

Maybe it was Scoote....she keeps talking about getting ninja skills :blink:

overheard across the street from the chihuly glass museum


"if he's such a good artist - why does he still only have one eye?"

overheard at the trader joes

cashier looking at customer's id - "you have such a beautiful name - i love it"

customer - "my father said he named me after the woman he should have married instead of my mom - i thought about changing it but i didn't because my mom is such a bitch"

overheard at the gas station
 

guy 1 - "hey man - got big plans for the weekend?"
guy 2 - "i've got ladies on deck - and i'm married!" (followed by a very tigger like whoo hoo hooo giggle sound)

Is it overheard if it was said directly to me? ...

"I think it's stupid to put a stick up your penis. And I really mean it."

At Portland First Friday Art Walk:


"Oh, yeah? Well, SMEG ME!"



Now... was that necessary?

over txt
 

Overheard in the fabric store this morning *after* I had just spent a good half hour talking with the Random Fabric Store Person (RFSP) while she was cutting yard after yard after yard of spiffy sale fabric.

RFSP to Nina: So how are you two acquainted?
Nina to RFSP: She's my boy.
RFSP to Nina: Oh, she's your son?
Nina to Me: :|
Me to Nina: :|

overheard the neighbors behind my back fence


neighbor (yelling excitedly) "dude! fuck - get out here quick - fuckin' fuck"
dude "what is it?"
neighbor "dude - never mind i just thought i saw a hawk"
dude "shut up - go back inside"

at the starbucks this morning

the lady in front of me in line had really fancy, long fingernails and she was grabbing her cup o' joe with just the palms of her hands

the barista counter guy was watching intently

counter guy - "enjoy the rest of your morning"
lady - "my eyes are up here"

at work
 

Girl: "Sugar is like crazy meth to babies, at least that's what my homeopath says."
Lady: "Well honey maybe your gay friends don't know what they are talking about."

--

Guy: "Momma I got diabetes."
Momma: "Well that's what you get for messing with them nasty girls."
Guy: "No momma I got the sugar."
Momma: "Oh lord no, not my baby!"

*walking to the car after leaving a store where a woman commented on my Wounded Warrior t-shirt, telling me she donated to them too, and thanking Bard for hys service*

Bard: Do you ever realize that people are really nice to us? I think it's you! Nothing to do with me.
Me: Uh, no honey, you ARE a charmer!
Bard: Pfft, no I'm not!
Me: Honey, you could charm the leather pants off a flaming gay man.. you ARE a charmer!
Bard: :huhlaugh:

*cupping my ear*
 

Mind you, I've been surfing online and through BFP for the last 90 minutes or so

Me: Wah.. I really need to pee.. I've been saying it for an hour, I know. And I need to shower.. Probably in that order...

Bard: I need to pee too. I'll go first. Just because... I can.

Me: Oh yeah? I CAN move faster than you!

I think Bard laughed, but it sounded more like a chicken BAWK!, as hy scrambled up to beat me. I just sat here and laughed my ass off.

A minute later hy comes in grinning with a "Nanner nanner!" smirk..

Me: Careful, you better not mock me if you want to get laid later.

Bard: :| Yes ma'am.

I won! :byebye: Now time to get ready because I think we talked ourselves into a trip to Binghamton for Sonic! :hangloose:

:seeingstars: really

Daywalker was overheard this morning talking about the Sex...*clutches invisi-pearls*
 

My mother...title says it all
 

So my mother is in town again. To avoid snow and see the kids for Halloween. I walk into the room earlier and see her with my daughter she is crossing her legs over and over again while putting carrots in her own mouth and chewing them with very pursed lips. I watch this for a couple minutes trying to figure out what the heck my mother is doing. So 4 minutes later I walk around the corner....

Me: Ma what are you doing?
Mother: What do you mean?
Me: Ma come on what are you doing why do you keep chewing like that and crossing Gia's legs.
Mother: Well now that she is one I thought now was a good time to show her how to keeps her legs closed and her mouth shut.
Me: (full blown laughing) Really ma...you mean chew with her mouth closed and cross her legs like a lady right? (slight language barrier)
Mother: Why of course dear...why are you laughing?
Me: Had to just walk away ....left room

a walk by talking on their cell phone

"you don't even know - i was sooooooo drunk last night. did i leave my skinny jeans at your house?"

At the coffee shop, one masseuse talking about another she works with -

"Yeah, it's one of those things I'm trying to figure out like how Mary's panties got in my duffle bag."

Rambling on with mah Niece on the Facebook.
 

*several weeks ago in late October*
 

(we all came to work one day dressed to the nines; none of us said anything to the other about what we were wearing, etc)


*it's about 3:16 in the afternoon - we're all working on clients*


Client in the chair just north of me:

Gosh, you all look so beautiful today! What's the special ocassion?

Client in chair just south of me, to his stylist (my best friend at work):

Are you married? I could take you out tonight if you're not.
(she's happily married, has one daughter, her husband is a saint)

Guy in my chair, chiming in on both comments:

Should I have brought champagne?

Client in the chair east of me, who says this to her stylist (she's a frequent patron):

I love it when you pull my hair like that...