Once again I have not been clear. It is not the person I find icky. It is the wearing of fur. Just the thought makes me itch.

Andrea

... ahh hmm i dont know...... do you let your kids into your bedroom while having sex?? do you leave your adult toys laying around so your kids can see it ?? or play with them in front of your kids?? do you talk to your partner with sexual comments or gestures .. in front of your kids?? do you walk around with a tail stuck in your but around yours kids??
or
are ya'll just raising them as any normal parenting couple gay or str8 should??
you forced your kids to live with you and your butch partner?? were you embrassed by this??? or am i missing something here??

i lived in a few big cities and im sorry but i never ever ever.. witness people walking up and down the streets having a tail poking out of there butt's.
on a every day basis...

im gay .... i keep my kinks in the bedroom. its . what I figure guess a time and place.

just my 2cents .

im heading out the nature reserv here in iowa.....in a lil bit here.. and hit the trails... maybe i should ask Mr Leonard if hy would stick a tail in my butt so i can walk around for all to see .. yes?? or wait........ maybe the spreader bar.. that should be interesting.. heh

I'm going to assume that most of you feel I'm fucking up my kids because I have slaves who when collared have a lock and chain proudlyaround their necks. I assure you my children have never been abused by my hand and are highly evolved caring human beings. They've also been around leather clad men and women and have Leather men as God parents.

I agree - wearing dead animals repulses me - however... I do not throw red paint at fur wearers (anymore). Once upon a time, I stood in front of bloomingdales with a can of red paint.

Those were the days.

I don't think a furrie is about wearing dead animals, really. I bet there are some vegan furries.

Please do go back and read my post. NO, I was not embarrassed by the fact I have lived and loved female bodied masculine women for 33 years. My point about FORCING them, was keeping them in the home, even when it was an issue for my son. Got it?

I absolutely cuddled and kissed my partner in front of my partner. We slowed danced and she would smack my ass! My kids would shriek with joy.

My point - OUR community is considered as KINK and Deviant by other communities. Do you not see that we are taking another faction of our community and judging. That is my point.

And personally, I could care less if someone wears a tail - I would be respectful and as a parent, if I brought my children into a situation where there was were furries, I would explain to them in a most loving, respectful and nurturing manner. It is how I have always raised my children - to know, we are all different.

But then again - my kids knew about sex - inside and out at a very young age. They used to sit in on safe sex meetings I would give, which included anal and oral sex discussion.

FFS people they ARE NOT wearing dead animals on their bodies, they buy expensive animal costumes of choice and wear them at events and Furrie Fetish is common in both heteronormative and queer culture and NOT necessarily tied to Leather/BDSM.

Yes I am making a judgment, you are right. However, given what the OP said, I don't think my judgment is unreasonable. I don't consider myself a judgmental person, in that I don't condemn people for having a different point of view or living a different lifestyle than I do. (And I am a very kinky guy in the bedroom, dungeon, etc myself!) Consenting adults have the right to do what they please as long as it doesn't harm anyone. According to the OP, this kid is really uncomfortable. He isn't a consenting adult. Therefore, it is harming someone.

Perhaps we don't know the whole story, and there are other factors to consider that we don't know about. I can only go on what the OP said and I find the described situation to be very disturbing and unfair to the child.

Calling CPS is extreme, especially when all of the facts are not present.

Like most others have said, this is a problem. The custodial parent needs to know what's going on with her child when he is not in her home/presence. That is not to say that she needs to agree with the dad's slave and all that it entails for him, but awareness is a necessity.

I agree that an adult's personal identity should not be thrust on a child. They are still trying to assimilate in this world and one's father and his furry slave may create confusion and other emotional and identity issues if not addressed openly and honestly with the boy and, ideally, the custodial parent.

Exactly. Educate the child, but don't dictate to him.

You beat me to the questions I was thinking. We all know what happens when we assume something. Whether the boy is gay, straight, bi or a transgendered furry himself is neither an issue nor a concern for any of us here.

The mother needs to know. She doesn't need to approve, but there needs to be open lines of communication and the boy needs to see both families working together.

I think the tail should be left at home when it comes to the PTA, but the grocery store is different.

Good last question! I wonder if it's the visual of the tail that's so offensive or if it's the rest of it and the complex identity and orientation issues that are sure to come up.

If there is a safety issue for the boy, due to the ignorance we all know is out there, then his safety and well-being should come before anyone's exhibition of their kink. Kids come first.

And that's what I am trying to get across. We don't really know the whole story. Is it not possible the kid is feeling all sorts of shame, because other people are? Is it possible Okie and Red are throwing their shame onto the kid? Perhaps the child was okay with it, until someone said - Whoahhh wait a minute - are you okay with this? LIGHT BULB?

Children are pretty remarkable and understanding. They are more open than most adults. It is when adults start putting their shit onto them, that issues tend to arise.

I still believe, we are hearing a little bit of something and not the whole story. Should the Mother know what is going on? Absolutely - as much as I wanted to know what was going on in the house of my kids father. Actually, I knew everything - but then again -- I made sure I knew. That is my responsibility as a parent. To parent and always know my kids are safe. Where is Mom? And why doesn't she know? Perhaps she is not so proactive! Perhaps the child doesn't trust her enough to discuss.

HELLO?

Why the focus on whether this 12-year-old kid is gay or straight? What does that have to do with anything? This seems to be more a question of children, parents, and kinks.

Personally, I see a HUGE difference between being a kinky parent and being a queer parent. Queer parents can be as private as straight parents about their sexual/intimate lives. (It's really homophobes that over-focus on what queers do in bed, and sexualize queers all the time.)

Parents with kinks may be queer OR straight, (this particular couple sounds straight-identified), so the question really seems to be one of whether or not and how much to expose children to their parents sexual/erotic kinks.

I think of kink as erotic power-exchange, and that is not something I would choose to share with my child. Others may feel differently, but in my opinion this father is forcing his child to be a voyeur, and that violates boundaries of consent.

Nearly every day I read about a child being kept in a cage, starved, beaten, forced to have sex, killed, on and on....

What you have stated is in no way abuse and I do not see abuse of the OP's nephew based on the information provided. Lack of consideration and open communication, yes, but not abuse.

Andrea

In that case INSTEAD of coming in and starting a thread the OP should of taken this to the unknowing parent (custodial Mom), that would of made more sense since the concern is about a distraught child. I'm STILL confused why that was not the OP's FIRST step taken.

Hey, Okie,
Did you get the nephew's father's consent before you posted details about this situation on a public forum?

If not, I'm wondering why we're discussing an underage child's family's business?

It sounds to me like Okie is looking for some advice about what to do, before taking action.

And there you have it!

Have you ever known a pre-teen that is not uncomfortable with what adults, especially parents, do? (Okay, maybe there are a few.) Where do we draw the line at expecting the parent to change their life to make the child comfortable?

While drawing lines, where do we draw the line as to what is considered kink?

BINGO
 

DING DING DING!

Give the pretty lady a fox tail!

Blush,
I think sometimes people don't know how to deal with a situation and they ask for advise.
It's obvious that Okie didn't from the original post.
Why make him feel like he can't open up to all of us when in need?

Yes, perhaps Red should go to the father since it's her family and Okie is at a loss because he can't help her in the way he may want to. I think out of respect for Red, Okie has been holding his tongue at home.

Advice... As asked for
 

You should go STRAIGHT to the unknowing parent (Mom) no ifs ands or buts, do not stop and make a post go to Childs unknowing parent and give her the information that she DOESN'T know yet all the internets does. It's a no brainer the Mom should have been contacted FIRST. PERIOD.

ETA-

At some point during the party an adult should if advocated for distraught child and set LIMITS at a family function and not ignore distraught Childs feelings. I wonder why this never happened.

I draw the line at the child doesn't need to know what happens in my bedroom. Period. For pete sake they are the parent! My kink is different from Snow's, or Drew's or Julie's. We all know what kink means, we just have different ways of doing that which is kinky.
The word kink is definition in and of itself, we all know what it means, how we do it is the only difference.

Wolfy, I get that the OP is looking for advice. It wouldn't take much to severely compromise this child's privacy. Is discussing this child's situation on the world wide web appropriate to you? I'm sorry, but unless the parents have given consent, it's not to me.

I can see I need to revisit my feelings about this subject. Thank you for giving me food for thought.

Even with an adult "child" my sexuality is private and so is his and his wife's. Boundaries are important- especially concerning children.

Did I miss the post that said the child was somehow aware of what goes on in the parent's bedroom?

I've never had kids but aren't most teenagers or preteens embarrassed of their parents, even when the parents are "normal".

Wearing a tail and a collar in public seems pretty innocuous compared to more serious problems kids face these days.

And, homosexuality, butch/femme, transgendered, is still considered abnormal and harmful to children by most Americans.

With this I'm out because you are not going to draw the same conclusion I do. Have a nice day. I was speaking in the first person, myself FFS!

Corkey,

I am sorry I said something that offended you. Please do not leave the conversation because of something I said. I will not address you further so as not to offend.

Andrea

The more healthy experiences a child has and the more different (and healthy!) situations/types/identities/etc a child is privvy to growing up leads to a more open-minded adult, I think. It sounds like you've planted some good seeds there.

Perhaps the non-custodial parent (the father) has the boy for the summer vacation. Perhaps not.

Blush raised a good point with privacy issues, especially since some of these details are very easily recognized.

Yes, this exactly what is going on. And in this context is is abuse.
And the kid is uncomfortable, period. He needs an adult that understands the importance of boundaries to report the abuse.

This doesn't have a thing to do with what we all may or may not enjoy sexually- it is about forcing and underage person to do something against their will. It is abuse if done to an adult as well. Has nothing to do with making any value judgement on what adults might want to engage in as adults with consent.

How are the dad and his girlfriend forcing the kid to do something against his will? Other than embarrassing him by going out in public while the girlfriend wears a tail and collar. I wouldn't consider that sexual abuse. Did I miss something?

I'm going to have to start at the beginning...are we talking about the furries?

Every year they have their convention here in Pittsburgh. It was just two week ends ago.

It's no differeent than the Trekkies (people who dress and act in character
of the star trek people)

OK, off to read before I coment

How is it abuse? How are they forcing the kid to do anything besides look at them wearing a tail, lock and key? Nobody knows the whole story. Everybody has their mind on the sexual situations that could happen between pops and his old lady when the OP did not once mention anything sexual, you people and your dirty minds.

Also since when do fucking queers or anyone else have the right to say what is right or wrong. You don't understand Furries because you don't know anything about it, just like some people don't know anything about queers so they call it wrong? Oh but then it hurts everyone's feelings.

So some people like to wear tails. I happen to have a friend that is a furry, wears a tail and it is NOT A BUTT PLUG! There is nothing kinky about it, she showed the other end of it to me. She just likes to dress like an animal. As much shit as we get, how can any queers condemn anything else that anybody does?

I am not even going to waste any more of my time reading this thread. Furries harm no one.

As different as WE ALL ARE, how dare any of us throw stones.....shaking my head. If you don't know what a furrie is, do some damn research.

A fucking butt plug......

I'm with you Corkey OUT, and I was never in.