These thoughts are not strange. They are a natural and beautiful thing. Embrace.

I like both but lately I've been crushing on more butches.

bump
 

Wondering if i am the only masculine single guy that would more than entertain the idea of enjoying another's masculine energy combining with mine mmm a delicious thought it is

Love who you love! Who cares! :-D

I get ickies from the stereotypes in our community that happen sometimes. We already are a judged group, and a small facet of the gay community. If two people find love in eachother, that is a rare and beautiful thing! Be happy and don't worry about what others think (and I'll live vicariously through you... Lol!)

Smiles :)

butch w/ butch OMG LOL ohhh plz ~ who cares ~ we are all gay woman its funny, in real time no one cares BUT hey on the net its an issue ??? love and let love ~ besides I think its sexy ~ ** blows a kiss** to all my B&B friends **

im butch..and i used to think it was strange for butches to be attracted to other butches....but then i realized what a stupid concept that was. I hear daily how butch on butch is just wrong. How unfair is that?!?!? We have lived a life that is discriminated against..why should we pass that onto our butches? Ive been attracted to butches.....and have had comments made. I used to say i preferred femmes...now...i just say it depends on the person.

Yes, I would venture that say in looking at my combined experience with early 20 something FTMs professionally and personally (internet and in person) at this moment, there is a HUGE amount of FTMs who date cis males. Of course, you see them dating other FTMs, but I see a lot of young FTMs in the cis gay men's community or who are married cis males while they were living as females. It is really interesting. I seriously would say the majority of the early 20's FTMs that I currently interact with are coupled with cis males or only date cis/trans males.

Sorry, I suppose I am getting off track...CCB'S statements about trans guys dating other masculine identified individuals got my brain going (but I was talking FTMs specifically)

Butch on butch? Honestly, I only know a couple of Butches IRL, so my experience with butches is only on butch/femme sites. I would venture that in general the younger population are more open to dating more than one gender identities.

It depends on your demographic. For example, on b-f sites, it won't be a very fruitful place to look, but I'm sure (in fact I know) there are a smattering.

try facebook if there is no local group.

for example https://www.facebook.com/groups/butch2butch/

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Butch...65825846769286

if you are kinky try fet life, there are groups for butch-butch and for trans-butch and cismen-butch. I did belong to a "butch women admirers" on fet life, but eventually I realised it was for CIS dudes into butch women, mostly, so I left the space to them.

But fetlife is another good angle as well.

similarly, try google plus, craiglist for more groups or events and OK cupid for those who like butches or "masculine energy" or "masculine vibe queers" etc.

You could always put an add up here somewhere.... though I suppose you just did ;)

good luck.

I'm one-half of a butch-on-butch couple
 

I identify as a lesbian butch, but I never really thought about who I was attracted to in butch-femme terms, However, looking back over my life, I am definitely more attracted to women who are "butch of center." My wife has a complex and beautiful gender identity that ranges from mildly feminine to fairly butch, and I love every bit of it. I am her first really butch partner, and it seems to work well for her, too.

Although I do not id as butch I have had my share of masculine partners in the past. I bumped the thread to get the conversation started again and to let new members know that in the complexity of today's world that even in the B-F community there are many ways to express that. I have met a few butches/queer on here that were/are attracted to me and other masculine members on the site. Granted most of them but not all were fellow members of the BDSM/kink community however, as some of the above posts have demonstrated masculine-masculine couples are out there and can be found even on this site.

I have experienced discrimination from our community due to who I am attracted to but who are we to say what type of person any one of us can date. Isn't it the same as being attracted to a type or look, let alone not having a preference per say and prefer to rely on a connection?

I apologize for entering butch space but I saw no reason to double a topic in the trans area...:hangloose:

To some it may be the same as being attracted to a type or look. But for me, being attracted to gender expression (masculine female) is my sexuality. Being attracted to a type (sporty, geek, metrosexual, dapper) is a bit different as that type is a subset of masculine female. Some express their masculinity in a dapper/urban meterosexual way, or a sporty way or a masculine geek way (my dad is masculine geek - dresses and behaves in that fashion), or backwoods/country masculine, or....

My personal understanding of sexuality is not "type" but I have preference to type.. My sexuality is not a preference, unfortunately. I wish it was. Would make my life a lot easier....

More love (and/or sex) in the world seems like a good thing to me. There are already too many narrow minded people. If you are butch and are attracted to butches, enjoy. Someone having an issue with butch on butch (I have encountered the on this site) reminds me of the cis males who throw a tizzy fit when they see/hear/think about gay men getting it on. If it isn't your relationship, it isn't your business.

Glad the thread has been positive. I was expecting a train wreck and am pleasantly surprised.

thinking out loud
 

Sometimes when I think about both dynamics and the fact that I personally can be equally attracted to either a femme, butch, or another trans I wonder if it isn't maybe a different type of bi-sexuality. For me especially since I do id as male. Guess technically that would be pansexuality. I don't know just thinking out loud though I do get what honeybarbara is saying. Actually agree with it poor choice of words on my previous post, as usual

I know Alix, you were cruising for a spanking... :D

I'm grateful for that. As a butch lesbian who has never really gotten into the butch-femme dynamic, I have found some online spaces that actively excluded me. It hurts to be closed out.

I'm glad you are here! I think this site is more open than others, but some people aren't. I didn't interpret the site name to be only people in butch-femme relationships.

Ditto what Mel said....

Have to agree there. I know a ton of transguys who mainly date gay cismen or other gay transguys. For some it's situational in that they identify as pansexual or bisexual and used to mainly date women but after transitioning might not feel as accepted in the lesbian/queer women community. I notice that especially with more feminine identifying transguys who find that queer women are no longer as interested in them once they start identifying as more feminine/twink-y men.

On the subject of butch on butch though, have been noticing a lot of cute butch/butch couples around here lately :D I've never really been interested in dating butches myself or at least haven't encountered a butch that I was interested in dating. But that isn't to say I haven't found some butches attractive. There's a local drag king here who I think is pretty hot and my partner occasionally teases me (not in a negative way, just to be clear) for crushing on them at shows lol

Better yet..
 

How about Femme and Femme?

:popcorn:



Note: Drag Kings I will admit,are hot.

Lately I have, but usually I'm 98% drawn to femmes. I was all dressed up after work the other day then I stopped at the 7/11 and this adorable butch was behind me in line. In a nice mannish dark gray suit, super short hair and a diamond stud in one ear. She eyed me and I smiled but freaked out and went out to my car. But I stalled around until the butch came out, smiled at me again, then climbed into into a huge silver SUV. She looked over at me and smiled and kind of waved as she pulled out and I did the same, but I had an urge to jump out my car, run and jump into her big manmobile and say 'what's your pleasure' or some corny line.
I was too chicken.
But lately I've been thinking butches get kind of a raw deal in many ways. We pay for most of the dates, do the driving, pay the bills, lift the heavy stuff, mow the lawn, have to help with inside chores, and behave ourselves or else our femmes sometimes cut us off of sex until we toe the line. Do you other butches think we sometimes get the short end of the stick? I am considering having a flingette with a handsome, dapper butch who is a gentledyke
like me. I'll bet it would easier to get some uncomplicated sex, then maybe watch the game.

Huh. I guess I should finally accept that I am a big fucking stereotype. I like to be the driver. I'm pretty good at lifting heavy things. I'm okay with picking up the check. The lawn, depending on the size, I'll hire a kid. Yeah, I'm probably going to hold the tongs or spatula at the grill. I like a good, short stick and can think of several uses for one right now.

To any woman who would consider withholding sex because I didn't "behave" I say, "To the moon, Alice!"

I have never been sexually or romantically attracted to other butches, but I understand how and why it appeals to many of my brethren.

Jane Bond is new, so I didn't jump all over the generalizations and the "butches do this" statements.

Maybe I'm mellowing in my old age?:hamactor:

I have nothing else to add...I don't get the butch on butch concept, so I won't join the discussion.

I am starting to feel this way myself. The part about a flingette that is. But I do see the connection between butch and butch. I am open to being with a femme, butch or ftm.

Sorry, it's a complicated topic and hard to avoid generalizations. I should have said This Butch does this and that. All better?

A bit better, but you might still get your butt chewed out by a person or two. Especially with what reads to be a patronizing apology.

I must admit I thought I would see a joke at the end of your stereotypes. I was shocked when I didn't see one. And I certainly couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the bullshit about femmes holding out. Pretty damn disrespectful.

A few points from Daisy
 

Welcome Jane.
Your 7/11 butch sounded delightful ! Telepathy would be a wonderful thing at times eh?..{ not least on the boards, little Daisy joke there to lighten the mood..runs and hides behind the sofa !} Like when an invisible Femme such as myself second glances a butch and gets that `why the Hell are you staring at me` glower, when all I am thinking is..`Oh you look like a handsome fellow!`....any way...

as far as the thread topic goes, Butch on butch...fine...femme/femme also fine, bottom sub butches, top alpha Femmes...great...what a wonderful world if we can all just be exactly who we are and ask for what we want eh ? For myself personally ? I want/need to be with a top butch { I am !!} I am a Femme and happen to be a bottom. Those are my needs and tastes, that is who I am and what I like..for now at least..we are all evolving to some point. I defend my right to stand up and state that without judgement just as I defend someone elses right to say `oh thats not for me, I like this, that and sometimes the other`. Good luck to us all I say, be happy, open with your needs and pursue them.

Ascot...my honey too is {your phrase here..`a big fucking stereo type`} its what I love and adore about Hym...I smiled as I read your description !

In reply to some of Jane`s points.....a Butch and a Femme can equally find themselves with a raw deal if they are coupled with someone who does less than their fair share or has limited skills or inclination to do more. If you find thats you then speak up and say how you feel put upon and negotiate a reasonable, flexible arrangement to care for your home, obligations and each other in a way you are both content and happy with your lot.

Hold out on sex is not the way to go whether Butch or Femme..{ why would I punish myself ? !!}

OK Daisy Humor alert ahead...said in jest folks..

Jane, when you find your butch and have your flingette, long after both the uncomplicated sex and the game are over, which one of you is going to wiggle about the house in a French maid`s outfit with a feather duster putting it all pretty again?...just asking !

Daisy :bouquet:

sexy times
 

If someone was to say

Snow you ain't getting no nookie cause you (insert whatevs)

I'd laugh, and go get me some nookie elsewhere, period..


As for your desires, I say go for it, life is way to fucking short to miss out, you may have missed out on some super hot sexy time with SUV driving hottie, oh well at least you have spank bank material.


PS

As for that french maid who's gonna wear that conundrum, tight leather pants and an aline shirt look mighty fine around a butch physique...

Just sayin'

;)

I agree with Daisy. The 7-11 butch sounds quite lovely.

However, what makes you think that a flingette with a handsome, dapper butch would be uncomplicated?

You've got to be careful with generalizations, of any kind. That hot, sexy butch could be your own 'single white female' or 'fatal attraction' waiting to occur.

Putting people into boxes sucks.

Agreed. We should be very specific when it comes to rants. Toes get stepped on otherwise.

No, not quite.....for the reason that Dapper mentions below. Sincerity is key for apologies.

Agreed. People that 'hold out' are playing a power game and are seeking control of something they feel they can't or don't control. That is not specific to Top or bottom, femme or butch or FTM or MTF or any flavor of the rainbow in between.

Agreed. Leather and A line tees are a nice look.

I like to see foofoo costumes and Leather outfits and everything in between and I like to see them on butches and femmes and FTMS and MTFs and every other flavor out there.

I am pro femme/femme, pro butch/butch, pro FTM/FTM, pro MTF/MTF....basically as long as it's consensual, I'm all for it.

:tea:

Yes!!!
 

Naked as a jaybird works too!!!

:eatinghersheybar:

rolling my eyes...

Hello Jane, and welcome to BFP. It's been a little while since I checked in here. That's a lucky thing for you. I'll follow the prevailing energy and react gently since, as they say, you're new around here.

Besides being sexist as T-Rex patiently pointed out to you, what you wrote is fairly disgusting and dismissive. It sounds like comical posturing to me, though. Have you really dated women who expect all the above from you? And it seems you claim to have delivered the above in fear of getting cut off from sex. Really? And then after you lifted some heavy objects in exchange for your bj, did she demand a diamond tennis bracelet before she put out a little more? Or, are you spinning some fantasy for yourself of what it means to be butch?

Like most of the adult women here, I work for a living and lift my own heavy loads, thankyouverymuch. If I choose a partner again, she'll be my equal.

I keep an open mind. While I tend to prefer and can more easily fall in love with a femme, there's nothing quite like a dapper, intelligent, humorous butch who knows what she's doing in bed.

<<<

Hi T-Rex..I try not to be sexist but sometimes I make inadvertently sexist comments, and when I do I'm often making broad, sweeping generalizations based on my personal experiences. I should have prefaced my words with "Lately, I have dated nothing but stereotypical, old-school femmes who did the following..."
The eye-roll thing was impolite and I apologize. Your advice seemed a mite presumptuous, but then I was fresh off a fling where the femme was a real piece of work and I was feeling very cranky and defensive. As I was driving her to dinner the night before, her cell rang and she actually made a date with someone right in my face. Grrr.
Thanks for the tips...

takes 2...
 

Who can blame her?