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At work
"I'm taking Midnight into the office to do her" was in regards to my appraisal LMAO |
My supervisor calling my desk: Hey Wendy, R and S went on break without pulling their jacks..can you please pull their jacks for me?
Me laughing hysterically: Umm sure I can pull their jacks off. My supervisor: ROFL so loud it was hear all throughout the 3rd floor. :| |
"Frank is gonna leave some meat on the seat of my truck*
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I said bring it, and those girls of yours answered my plea.
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"that is the most American cheese i've ever had on my person."
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"I just had the entire State of Oregon on my tongue" :|
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"Thursday, i've hired someone to come and trim my raggedy bushes. It is the only day he can do it, so I have to clear my schedule. It needs to be done in the worst way".
Said on the phone this morning with a moment of silence afterward followed by a lot of laughter. |
Overheard whilst standing in a queue: "He poked me again and again in full view of his family!"
........I giggled! |
Overheard at my club; we are pretty bad about innuendo...
(when putting toys back into the bag) "If it doesn't fit, just push harder!!!" (when corseting someone) "I am making it as tight as I can." (talking about gardening) "My wife has finally decided that she likes the 6 foot steel spike in her tulips." :sparklyheart: |
My neighbors just heard this come out of me:
"For the love of everything Holy, will you stop licking me???" I'm pretty sure they took it out of context. |
Overheard at Mrs. Jones' House
"Ten hours? I've never done that with a femme before."
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"My bottom lip is chapped, that never happened with a femme either"
and shortly after that I heard... "Ahhh........Domestic Bliss." |
Overheard at Mrs. Jones' House
"I knew it was going to be good, but I didn't know it would be this good."
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"Spread and sauce. What's left to cover??"
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"I guess we know what we'll be doing for Thanksgiving!"
http://cache-images.writersnetwork.c...cription_L.jpg |
I NEED some stuffing!!
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From an Indiana Restaurant:
"They've got better buns at this Denny's" |
"your stick is bigger than mine" - gardening
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"I can't get greased up enough today"
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Oh sure! Rub it in why don't you. Just wave it in my face. Ok, I might be giving in a little.
discussion about iphone 4s and other apple products |
"S. really likes to ride me"
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"I don't know, but that just feels wrong in my mouth"
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"I don't know the reason why, but I just keep licking it."
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"Is this an episode of Desert Island Daddies?"
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Quote:
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Quote:
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My stepson to me: I didn't touch your danged pickle!
Me. :| |
Quote:
Quote:
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"I like saying her name like it is a karate move"
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"It just doesn't seem right to be rooting around in the ass."
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Happy Thanksgiving!
I just rubbed my turkey. NO it's not like choking my chicken.
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you wimp, I knew you should have gone with the six incher
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"No we're good. I've got you on my headset. We can function."
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"The pictures will have to wait. I'm still playing with wet things."
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C'mere, you need to smell this. Stick your face out there.
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Happy Thanksgiving, Ms. Jones
"I'm going to put a lot of things in my mouth that I don't want in there. And then I'm going to moan about it for days. But I'll like the taste of it while it's going in."
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I'm sick of being bent over this cage with my ass in the air.
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On Thanksgiving.................
1. Talk about a huge breast! 2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist. 3. It's Cool Whip time! 4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst! 5. That's one terrific spread! 6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat. 7. Are you ready for seconds yet? 8. Its a little dry, do you still want to eat it? 9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some! 10. Don't play with your meat. 11. Just spread the legs open & stuff it in. 12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once? 13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once! 14. You still have a little bit on your chin. 15. How long will it take after you stick it in? 16. You'll know it's ready when it pops. |
"Just go ahead and make your wish with the bone."
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"What?! Sometimes I just gotta have it! And then, well, I have to eat it!"
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