Thanks for this great post! Esp. this sentence:

"So please, do not box me into your idea of what or who a butch is."

but being a femme, I would like to add: ....of what or who a femme is.

We've been put in to boxes by the hetero-world all along, so why should we, ourselves who know better, put eachother in boxes. I'm totally against this whole stereotype thingy. Oh, as a femme you need to act this way, or that's a typical butch thing..and I can't stand the words..'you're supposed to'...I'm NOT supposed to anything. I am what I am. Period.

Come on....it's like gay people want to appear as 'normal' as possible, appear as straight, even hetero. Like a 'normal' couple. I'm asking why? I don't even want to go there. For me, it's no problem to act or be noticed to be gay. I love women and I show it. It's that simple.

Thanks Scout..
I will find out if i got the job tonight if someone doesnt call me before work..
The job was moved so i will not be working with that horrible guy..Looking good already..

s..

What type of Butch I am:

This is a really good question. I have not thought of this in some time so it's good to remind myself as well.

For as far back as I can remember, I have always loved women. I had my first crush at age five on the neighbor girl who I think was a year older than me. Of course everyone thought it was cute at that time....:sunglass:
I had struggled many years as to my identity. I had no idea such a thing as Butch existed but I did know that I was masculine. I thought I must want to be a man because why else would I have these feelings.
Way back, I had a group of friends, none of who identified as Butch/femme. When I first heard the term Butch and found out what it meant, I told them hey I'm Butch and they laughed at me. So I was confused until I found out that there was a Butch/femme dynamic. How very exciting for me. I still remember the feeling of shopping in the men's section for the first time.

I am who I am. I am by no means perfect and never will be. I am always evolving and learning about myself, the good and the bad things. I am chivalrous, caring, funny, sarcastic, and romantic. I like to put my hand on the small of your back as I lead you through the door. I am protective and a care taker, which is probably why I became a nurse. I like to hold you but I also at times want to be held. I love to have my hair played with... unless we are going out.. don't mess it up... lol.

I am human. I have feelings just like everyone else even though I try to hide them at times to portray that I am strong and can handle anything. I've learned how to cry even if I don't like it. I am proud to be Butch but that does not define everything about me.

I am sure there is more to what I could say but for now, this is a good start.

Job update..
 

Got to bed late,alarm went off,spilled my tea all over,whipped it up with my shorts on the floor,fell back to sleep,crap!got up late,no time to pack my lunch,forgot my banana on the counter,forgot to feed cats before i left,driving faster than normal and hoping an animal doesnt jump out of the ditch in front of me..

Got to work,grabbed my junk,checked to see if i got the job,D#mn.! Didnt get the job..A guy with 1973 seniority got it and i only have 1983..
Kinda funny i was thinking i had 5 more years to finish school when he started working there..I told a girl we work with Hey a guy 73 got the job i didnt get it and she said geezzz i wasnt even born yet..!!.. We all laughed..It was funny..

Plan B try again..

Thank-you for all the support and kind words..Very much appreciated..

s..

I absolutely love this thread, and would love to see more Butches describe themselves and who they really are. Share yourself, it is incredibly inviting and although may make you feel more vulnerable, we Femmes love to see that vulnerability.

Thank you Parker for that great video.
Thank you Islandscout for your great explanation of the feelings we Femmes get when we see a Butch that catches our attention.
Thank you Claybaby and Miss Scarlett for sharing a piece of your relationship.
Thank you to everyone else who shared here.

I look forward to learning more about all you sexy Butches we have on BFP.

I put the soft in soft-butch (kind/gentle hearted).
I am a jeans & t-shirt kind of butch (big surprise!).
I can be shy & socially awkward at times. But after about 3 drinks...watch out!
I am an old fashioned kind of butch...opening doors & bringing flowers:bunchflowers:
I am a minimalist...I don't like to clutter my life with expensive possessions that don't mean anything.
I have no sense of style! I'll wear what's comfortable and the decor..(what's that?!). I need a femme's touch to decorate lol.
I've worked hard all my life and I always have stable employment.
Friends and family are very important to me.
I am passionate & compassionate to others, kind, sweet, and romantic. But if you dare hurt someone I care about....watch out! This kitten can turn into a tiger!:fastdraq:
I am organized, methodical, and a planner (typical capricorn).
I am working on being more spontaneous & learning that I can't always know what's going to happen.
I love music and am a singer (in a choir). I don't do the solos or karaoke!
I am affectionate & loving. I want the woman I'm with to feel like she's the most important person in the world.
I love kisses, snuggles, cuddles, backrubs, etc. Touch is very important to me. It expresses how we feel without any words.
Only in the last year I've been able to express & explore different aspects of my sexuality. It's an exciting journey & I've got lots of time to make up for!!
Oh, and I'm a quick learner!
Don't be afraid to ask for something. You'll more than likely get it.
I am open minded and always willing to try something new.
There's not much I wouldn't do for someone I care about. I'd give you the shirt off my back...then promptly cover up lol.
I have a weird sense of humor. Things seem to be more funny in my head lol.
I have a big heart with a lot to give. I hurt big...but I love big too.
Should anyone decide to trust me with their heart...it will be safe with me...

The Butch I am is..
 

Had a flash mob of hungry catz at the sliding door.They were hungry..Hummm i dont understand the urgency..I fed them yesterday..

Anyway..
My dad passed away in feburary so i have been spending alot if time helping mom at her house and my stuff is not getting done.We were not allowed to clean,pick things up,throw things away and dont pull weeds..Now we are..My sister,brother and i are getting things done at the house..We are on 3 different times so we go over when we can..Kinda funny how that works out cause we are never there at the same time but we are getting things done for mom..We are now allowed to clean,pick things up,throw things away and i am pulling weeds and getting poison ivy..It is looking good around there..Mom is happy when we come and happy when we leave and espically me..I wear on her nerves..I approach "projects" like a bulldozer..I am aware that i do that and i have reduced my bulldozer energy to Tonka Truck size..Mom is happy about that..The thing is i do things when she is sleeping and when she isnt there..She says "Yeah when i got home i saw the burn barrel smoking"...I say "Yeah i found some junk/trash i wanted to get out of the way BUT.!! None of it was GOOD.!!!.Then she glares at me and i smile back..I told her friday that i wasnt going to do any more than mow the yard cause i want to get back to digging up my back yard for my patio..That is what i wanted to do this weekend..She said ok..
Sooooo The phone rings 9:30am saturday..Its mom.."Lowes just called Hey my bathroom is in.!!."ok give me an hour i'll come and get the reciet..Left my house at 10:30am and got all her stuff and stacked it neatly in the garage..Ok what about the shelf thing..??.{she ordered that from another store}..Ohh that is in to..Ok i will go get it..Could you drop off my perscription while you are in town to yeahhh..Did all that and walking to the truck to leave..Mom says when you come back i have another project for you..I stopped walking..Tell me what it is..The day was already shot..Change a lightbulb in the hall..My sister made an attempt and couldnt figure out how to get the globe off..Turn that little screw the whole things comes apart..I told mom to tell my sister having all that college education didnt help her change a light bulb..shaking my head..Ended up changing the other one also and whiping it off..Finally got home at 5:00pm..Well not digging in the dirt today..The day is gone..

Looking in the garage..Bought 2 sparkplugs oil and filter for the bike on friday..{almost walked out of that store with another bike}..Ok i will do the bike stuff before dark..Cant be that hard..Take out and replace..Ummm no..Gotta take the seat off and gas tank..Pull all the hoses..That tank was giving me a real hard time..Spent a while trying to get that thing off..Made 1 phone call to my brother and told him what i was doing and he said i was right to keep doing what i was doing..Still couldnt get that thing off..I kept stepping back and thinking i need help cause i dont know what i am doing..I messed around with my other bikes but not this one..How hard could it be..??..The stubborness over rode my need for help..This thing was not going to beat me..Took a few more things off and there was a bolt i missed..Took that off and the tank was in my hands..Made me smile i got it..Started to change the plugs and that socket was a little tricky to use also..Figured that out to and i had those bad plugs out and new ones in in seconds..Put everything back on with the help of my flood light cause it is now dark..Putting that seat back on would make Jesus Christ cuss..That was tough but i got it..Hit the starter and the bike took right off..I smiled hit the throtle a few times zoom zoom on the road again..Thinking i would ride it tomorrow..Then the thing slowly quit running..Great i was thinking..What did i do wrong.??.Hummm..Stepped back looked at the bike and saw my "clippie-close-pin" still on the fule line..Great i can fix that..Hooked that up and it started back up..I got this..My brother never called me back cause he knew i would get it and i did..

That was kinda lenghty but i think that describes what kind of Butch i am..I am always there for my Mom what ever she wants i will set my stuff aside to help her and always did over the years and espically now..
Put anything in front of me and i can figure it out..I like fixing stuff and seeing it work when i had no idea how to tackle the task at hand..Makes me feel kinda smart and also an ego booster..I love the challenge..

Thanks for reading..
s..

Rustedrims-

I am sorry about your dad. I lost mine awhile back. Good for you for being there for your mom!

Hey Stone..
 

Thanks for the kind words..I appreciate it..
My relationship with my dad was not good at all..My last conversation with him was loud and angry..My mind is busy trying to get past that day and it is tough..Thanks again..

s..

(((( rusted )))) its a tough part of life .. I hope this is comforting to u , we never know when our demise is going to be .. everyday life ppl cry together , laugh, argue, we share so many emotions daily , esp w. ppl that r close to u . i'm positive the words that u 2 had were forgiven , now forgive urself. you didnt do anything wrong, no sense in feeling guilty for a common emotion esp . shared btwn parent and child. guilt can own u . u dont have to own the guilt ..

ocean~
 

:rrose:Thank you very much for showing your concern..I appreciate it so much..I lost 3 people that day and it is real hard to get past.Crazy story.
I like comming here and reading..Gets my mind off things for a while..
Thank-you again..


s..

The butch that I am.... sang a fabulous "Whenever, Where ever" by Shakira at karaoke tonight. With tambourine.

I'm the kind of Butch who pulls out a chair, holds a door open and asks permission for a kiss on the first date. I am even the kind of Butch that will bring a little thing of chocolates just because you said you like them. I just love being Butch.

Bumping ;)

What kind of butch am I?
 

I really don't know how to answer this except to say that the kind of butch I am is the kind of butch I am! LoL!! I discovered that I was stone about 20 years ago. I much prefer being stone it turns out! I made a list of my "attributes" a while back. I will cut and paste it to this post. :)


I KNOW how to treat a woman.
I open doors, I'm polite, I have good manners and I use proper grammar.
I wear my pants around my waist, not hanging under my butt.
I'm clean, I'm FUNNY, I love all dogs and most kids.
I love to laugh!
I'm a good cook and love to BBQ!
I have a dependable vehicle, work full time and I volunteer at the Humane Society.
I believe in God and I pray daily, usually many times a day.
I don't have a lot of friends but, the friends i do have are very, very important to me.
I do my best to find the positive in negative situations.
I'm not big on sports EXCEPT for college (and some professional) FOOTBALL and on most Saturday afternoons you'll find me glued to the TV screaming for U of M! GO BLUE!! :)
I don't smoke tobacco, or drink alcohol. I'm 420 friendly.
I'm dependable, friendly, kinda shy, honest, and have I mentioned that I love to laugh? :)

Yup! That pretty much sums me up! :)

I'm going to turn this around. What kind of Butch do you think I am? Sorry, couldn't help myself. ;)

You are a romantic love muffin. Duh! :D

Thank you Beloved. That cracked me up. I like people with a sense of humor. Thank god I wasn't drinking anything. :)

I am myself...

I know how to treat a lady right and be there for her, without treating her like a damsel in distress. I know when to take charge and when to let her lead. I know when to top and when to let myself be topped (and I will enjoy it too). I know the little things matter, like cleaning the snow off her car before she has to go to work, doing the chores she hates the most, or making sure her favorite food or drink is always in the house. I know the big things matter too, like giving her the freedom and independence she would need while also making sure we have quality time together. I'm strong and protective, yet I also let myself be taken care of when I need it.

I am a warrior. I have to be. My whole life I have been put down, whether it's for the way I look, dress, act or express myself. I've been to hell and back and I'm still standing. I release my pressures in the gym or in a race.

I know what I do want, and what I don't want, and there are certain things I won't compromise on.

To me my body is just the vessel I was born in. I won't shy away from having my female organs pleased because it feels good and I am not to deny myself the pleasure of intimacy. But in my mind I'm visualizing things a little differently.

I am a lifelong stone butch who is a beautiful balance of male/female, baby boi/ daddi, domn/sub, alpha and beta. I've never done fantasy role play. This is all very heavy karma I've take on to improve myself. There are femme's here who are more butch than I in their little finger lol, and most butches here look and act more masculine than I. If I was stranded in Hotel Iran, they'd never know I was a stone butch lol, I have'nt worn an article of stereotypical feminine clothes in 45 years. My exwife of over thirty years was also a rare bird who perfectly balanced me. She was femme, babygirl/momma, domina/sub, whore/madonna, alpha/beta, etc. lol! Seriously,everyone is different, and all that really matters through it all, is enjoying making sweet love to each other and giving each other uninterrupted peace of mind.

The Butch I Am...
 

The butch that I am is the butch she saw in me and accepted whole-heartedly. I am a female, a daughter, sister, mother, boobeh (grandmother), aunt, a friend… I dream and love and cherish deeply. I have passions, hopes and aspirations and I have the ability to make them come true and be successful at it. I am a fighter, a lover, a peace keeper. I am rough around the edges and firm in my beliefs. I am quiet and shy and I cry when my heart is touched. I respect others, have morals, live by integrity and I do what I can to make another person feel noticed. I defend the underdog, give up a seat to an elderly person, I help that single mom get her things gathered while she holds her child. I am moody, get irritable, lose my temper… I am human and I have emotions; good and not so good. I make mistakes. I do my best to right my wrongs. I have grown as a person over the years and I have grown as a butch. I am proud of the person I have become but by no means have I stopped working on that individual I strive to be. I play and have fun. I’m a kid at heart. I enjoy picnics, flying kites, blowing bubbles… I sing in the shower and at karaoke. I dance when my knees are forgiving and allow me to do so. I thoroughly enjoy supporting, pampering, complimenting and doing for my lover. I am a protector, her protector and I will always support her in whatever she believes in. I would never give up being the person that I am and I would not expect that from her either. I am a great hugger. A good lover. I am a dork at times. I am fierce. I am a hard worker. I am all gy. I am her gy. I have fears, I get scared but I am strong when I need to be. I give everything my all… to completion!

I am me. I am Stoney. I am Jack. I am hy… Yes I am butch!

Descibe The Butch You Are
 

I am quiet and shy but once I know you all bets are off. I am very old school and chivalry is not dead with me. I am a southern gentleman and romantic. I am domesticated in that I love to cook, bake, smoke meat, clean house, do laundry (because I have more clothes and shoes than most femmes) and good at fixing things. I am an activist politically and otherwise. I am strong in mind and body, I am a care giver, I am trusting until someone makes it clear they can't be trusted. I am slow to anger but I am a true Leo in every sense of the word. I have a dry and wacky sense of humor.I enjoy sports (go Redskins and Notre Dame) and a good cigar. But most of all I am her DADDY and to furbabies as well, her Top/Dom, I am her protector, her comforter, her best friend. I am the one she can come to vent and keeper of her secrets. I am her rock but most of all I her lover. :fastdraq: :fastdraq: :fastdraq: :fastdraq:

re-posting.....to remind myself of the butch I am....
 

remaining true to myself...I am this butch..
 

I am a Texan Butch... Country through and through... but can hang with the best of the city Boys.
I hold doors open for the elderly, the disabled, the old, the young, men and women, whoever happens to be behind Me, or whoever just seems to need it.
My mother is My hero.
My son is My world.
My lady is My life.
I don't like being called Miss, or Ma'am... I am Sir, He, or Him, boy, not girl.
I was born in the wrong body.
I can shoot like nobody's business, or write poetry on a whim.
But, I treat a woman like a lady, and know when to hold My tongue.
I love to dance... country, hip hop, tejano, or waltz. And lead My lady around till she's dizzy and sweaty.
I can hang with My high school buds, head bangin' and BBQ'g on July 4th.
I can hang with the 20 somethings, and teach them a thing or two about respect, but show them this Old Dawg has some new tricks for them to learn.
I help My customers daily, and show them respect and offer them solutions.
I tell My momma I love her.
I say please, thank you, may I, and yes Sir and yes Ma'am.
I offer My seat to women and men.
I play with babies, and speak their language.
I take My hat off when I meet someone new, when I'm in church, when I pray, and when I eat.
I change My own oil, tires, and do My own laundry.
I cook My ass off, and love to see My family's faces when I've created a masterpiece.
My downfall is chocolate..... and... her eyes.
I don't tolerate discrimination in any form.
I don't do windows.
I do dishes though :)
I drive an old truck, and wait for the day that I can afford a new one, just to hear the engine roar.
I love her touch, her hands on My skin, the way she looks at Me, and when she says Amorcito to Me.
I can walk for miles, and not be tired.
I have remorse for every bad thing I have done.
I have hope that I will be forgiven.
I have little time on My hands.
I have a lifetime of love left in Me.

This is an interesting thread. Rather than describe who I am and listing my strengths (I do have some!) and my foibles (I have lots of them!), I want to respond by describing the role that I attempt to fulfill in a relationship. I may not always succeed, but I do give it my most sincere and best effort.

I aspire to be the Butch...

…Who will sometimes walk behind you,
To allow you to pursue your own dreams, to give you space,
To let your light shine brightly without being blocked by my shadow,
To provide you with a safe retreat if needed.

...Who will sometimes walk ahead of you,
To protect you, to guide you when needed,
At other times, to follow my own dreams, find my own space.

…Who will mostly walk along side you,
To be your friend, lover, and partner,
To be connected, yet each of us retaining our individualities,
To help you, me, and “us” make it through the hard times,
To revel with you during the special times, to contentedly share all the ordinary moments,
To support you, honor you, and cherish you.

Bumping this

I'm the kind of butch That confuse a lot of people. I'm strong physically and mentally yet I can be soft and vulnerable. I wear men's clothes but love a good sexy bra. I bind sometimes and sometimes I love the way my breast look in some shirts. I walk hard and have my own swagger and sometimes I shake my ass Because I know she is watching. I love short masculine hair but love mine shoulder length. Some times I pack and sometimes I don't. I love to be the top but have no problem being the bottom. I'm the bug killer but am terrified of mice. I'm sometimes hard and kick ass Then sometimes I'm soft. I know who I am and some times I confuse myself. I am a confident, strong, hard working, sometimes insecure beautiful/handsome butch woman. Ill take shit from people but not allow someone to disrespect the woman in my life. I don't fit in any box Because I've worked most of my life to get out of one. I'm just me

I am called a stone butch,not a tag I put on myself but from others who say it's the one that fits.Sometimes it dose but most times not a chanch,I don't like labels cause they are very restricting.I'm a mother,daughter,grand daughter with a strong female line in my family.I'm a lover not a fighter unless it's nessary to bring out the sword and sheild...then whoever started this had best watch out.Most of the time I can just get along in this old world just fine
I wear mens clothes and have for years,I use to have some ladies things but over the years they never got worn cause I never needed to use them so I donated them to good will.I can be very out spoken or I can just sit and listen,I love to cook but also dont mind anyone else in my kitchen helpeing me whip up a meal.I collect lots if things and go to estste sales,garage sales and what have you,I love western art or mostanything horse related but also will pick up something else if it calls to me,I play a violin,electric guitar,a zyloharp aswell.Yep I do all sorts of stuff that I havent even posted hear.It keeps life intresting because witout something intresting to keep me chalenged I would be watching syfy more than I do.

Hm, describe the butch I am...

I'm the kind where butch is an adjective, and loves the cis-female body I was born in.

Where I have my hairdresser use a number 4 clipper and wear knit boxer briefs. I'm the type that wears either Hawaiian or button down shirts at work.

That shaves her legs and armpits and sings show tunes while cooking dinner.

I pack when I'm in the mood and like eyeliner.

The kind that shouts "That's MR. Dyke to you" when asshats yell things from their car.


I'm the one who's been told "you're not that butch" and respond with a snort and raised eyebrow.

Where it's attitude, not size or profession or wardrobe. Where my butch energy makes me taller than the 5'2" I am.

The kind of person I am is the kind of butch I am.

Loren

By all means.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde [:
 

Describe the butch I am? For me it's the body i was born in,the energy,the spirit,the soul,stop me if you heard this one before,the attraction I feel for all things femme or anything super feminine.I get it that i'm masculine looking and all that and have been mistaken for a man a thousand times but I don't see myself as a man.I don't even see myself as gay or lesbian.I tell others that we are a 'straight' couple but to no avail.Even other couples in our own community don't think its possible for us to be seen as a straight couple.So i have given up trying to describe myself as a straight butch woman.She gets it and that's all that matters to me.

I am a protector. I think that is instilled in me due to having a daughter & two grand kids.

For me, I 'am kinda layed back with a dry sense of humor....also, goodhearted...compassionate & sensitive, these traits I inherited from my mom who is also a good person...God bless her..
I am the type, If Iam in a relationship with someone,,and I am passing a card store, or gift shop... Ill stop in and buy a card, or a trinket for her, cuz I was thinking bout her..or just for the hellva it...that's just me, old fashion hopeless romantic...
I don't do it cuz I want it back in return...I do it cuz It's coming from my heart..
I am not at all a material person...that I dislike very much ..material people...'
when I date someone who is very close to my heart...she is going to know how important she is in my life...

That sums it up for me..:)

love this thread <3

I'd really like to respond, talk about the kind of butch I am, but I dont think now is probably a good time.