In effect this becomes censorship (which I am totally against) and me having to monitor other people's feelings. Part of me feels that people have become SO politically correct that you can't say anything without offending someone.

If I find something that offends me (believe me, it takes a LOT) I just pass it by almost every single time. Why? Because it's not MY truth that's being written, it's someone else's and who am I to tell them NOT to say something? I may disagree, but they still have the right to say it.

Offensive to me: "Don't think, just sit there and be pretty." THAT is offensive to ME. And yes, I've had gfs say that to me. Abusive, yes. Offensive, yes. Did I tell them to fuck off? You bet.

Censorship, that's the word I was looking for, thank Sabra

Sabra mentioned something about people being so PC and I agree, alot have become so PC that to me IMO that it borders on censorship.

To me some people are just too sensitive nowadays, EVERYTHING offends them and those are the type of people I stay away from, I tend to stay in my own circle of people where bluntness and honesty reign supreme and noone gets hurts.

It is well known my hatred for Wal-Mart ;) But people talk about it all the time and the word itself doesn't really bother me...what bothers me more is that people support Wal-Mart and their unfair business practices and their complete takeover of towns, effectively destroying them. /end rant heh

I do respect people I care about and I can do that and still speak my mind. Would I say Jesus fucking Christ in front of my grandma? Probably not. If someone asked me "how do I look in this?" I'm not gonna lie if it looks bad. But I'm more likely to be more gentle in my delivery.

I know, I'm a big ole UN-PC pain in the ass.....but some people actually like that I am so blunt because I say things other people only wish they could say.

it's like an invitation.... :twitch:

Actually, I think PC and honest are getting confused in this conversation. Thanks to folks like Limbaugh, Politically Correct speech and behaviour has taken quite the beating.

PC, to me, is the idea that it is not okay to call someone by a racial epitath. I'll use a Texas one. It would be very very PI (politically incorrect) of me to call someone a lazy wetback. For those who are not familiar with that ugly term, that refers specifically to those of Mexican heritage and infers that they swam the Rio Grande to come illegally into the US. It is an ugly racist term and I put it in the same category as Gerry and Kyke and Wop and Raghead and Jew and Gypsy and the N word.

Now, if someone is being lazy and they are of Mexican heritage, I could most certainly call them lazy. To add "wetback" to that turns it into a racial slur. That's not okay in my book. Nothing makes that kind of comment okay. There is no amount of honesty or bluntness that can make that okay for me.

Honesty is telling me the dress makes me look fat. Ugly is telling me that the dress makes me look like a fat cow.

I doubt MizzSabra is talking about being ugly in this case.

I think apretty says it perfectly.

And PC is used (and is being used here, I think) to try to negate why some words will never be okay to say.

And I'm not talking about the C word. That's one I personally reserve for women who earn it (and I don't mean it like Dusa or any who have reclaimed it mean it.)

I'm talking about words that hold more negative emotional charge than can ever be cleared from them. Retarded is one of those (no offense to those who are working to claim that so the pain is negated) for me. I dislike that word intensely for a lot of very personal reasons.

So can we agree not to hide behind "I'm not PC" or "I am PC" and really discuss what these word choices mean for us? I love that we have so many strenuous and strong voices here. I love that we do not agree. I love that we can not agree and still have these chewy, meaty (or tofu-y for the veggie crowd) discussions.

I did not know Gypsy was an ugly word until recently. A woman I know who is of Romany descent posted why it is an offensive term.

Now, another woman, also of Romany descent, posted back on that post (it was on an author's blog) about why she DID like the term "gypsy".

Like you, Gemme, I see them as a beautiful, free tribe. However, the word "gypsy" was synonymous with "thief" and "lazy" and "untrustworthy" in many places.

So it's a word I'm trying to drop from my vocabulary. You may call me that as much as you like. I am not offended by the word. And I adore you for caring enough to ask!

When someone uses the word Ghetto to describe something!! Drives me crazy!!

Oh wait I found something that offends me, seeing someone type or say: dumb redneck

ahem, I am one and I am far from dumb

or how about the (very large) butch that makes references to the SIZE of a larger femme?

i think that you should name names so that i can send an xmas card all infected with my current bout of (not really, but it sounds dramatic) swine flu.

:flyingpig:

OK, question here. To me this response "seemed flippant".

No offense EzeeTiger, and you and apretty might be very close for all I know and this is just fun joking between you two.

But, to ME... I saw apretty poor her guts out, talking about something very personally vulnerable, as it is to many - to be dismissed by what appears to be a form of mocking, by dangling ice cream in front of someone stating they struggle. I don't get the point of this post, thus. Apretty stated she was not satisifed with her current weight and it is a (huge fucking) battle. As my weight is with me, and I'm sure others as well here.

So, am I too sensitive and overprotective? If someone said, "I don't care what size I am" and then someone offered ice cream, I would feel completely different about it. But, this felt hurtful somehow.

Hope it is OK that I used this example. I felt I couldn't get past it. If you or anyone could help me understand why this would not be seen as possibly hurtful - then please do.

Sincerely,
WILDCAT

feeder! and thanks, i really didn't need that dairy!

thanks Wildcat, EZ is being as sensitive as he can (which ain't a lot). :)

OK, perhaps then I should wait and see responses. I apologize. (I initially was going to state you two could be partners for all I know!)

:builder:


PEACE! :innocent:

Smiling here. I DO feel a bit embarrassed. Yep! I thought "what if these two are partners"? However, my other protective and sensitive side took over and thought, "ouch, that felt like a kick in the gut". Well, my issues and it was being discussed here. I admired your post on your personal take - responding to June's post. (Liked your post too June!)

This is why it is good that we discuss these kinds of things. We're just writing and I certainly don't realize who all knows who and "how". See, now I know with [you two] the response was really about "acceptance", which is a beautiful thing!

The weight issue is so loaded in our society - and as some have posted here, comes through on the site in ways not always comfortable for all.
__

I did "pause" to see if someone was going to stand up somehow, (you or a friend to be exact - you seem to be "apretty strong woman"). I just didn't wait LONG ENOUGH!

My bad... I distain folks ripping on heavier folks.

:bowdown:

Wildcat

*Thank you so much for understanding and the feedback. I really appreciate that! Thanks to you too, EZ!! Enjoy your holidays!! :stocking:

Gee, if every potential misunderstanding or misinterpretation or just questioning intent could be handled in the manner of the last series of posts, we'd all end up being nice to each other!!!!!

I can not possibly even begin to imagine that anyone who knows anything about you would ever dare to say that to you.

I know, I "hate" being nice.

So, MsD - imagine that!!?? Where's your political thread? I am really missing those here?!


Sincerely,
WC

Sorry, Wildcat, I've been up to my eyeballs in stuff and crap and shit and things for the past couple of months. Perhaps things will settle down a bit in another month or so.

It's nice to know that I've been missed, kinda makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.

That's why the 2 people who said it to me are exs. :D

Wicket said:
A reference was made that some people just seem to be offended by everything. I don't believe it is my right to determine what someone finds offensive or not. In the case of offensive statements I don't believe the person expressing being offended should be questioned. Words do hurt, and part of developing and maintaining a safe place where all have a voice is refraining from making statements that you know will be offensive.


I woke up thinking about this statement. I wanted to address one piece of this or rather one important person in that scenario above.

The person who is offended needs to have the courage to say something to the person who said the offending term. As has been pointed out by many of us, we do not always know when a word is offensive. So being told in a frank and gentle way is important.

I do have to tell you that the co-worker I said something about the word retarded said something to another co=worker who used the term later that day. I don't know what was said because i was in the middle of helping a customer, but I did hear the 2nd person say "retarded."

Now, the other co-worker may have said "That's not a nice thing and here's why" or more likely he said, "Don't say that where she can hear you." Either way is fine as long as they learn to eliminate that word within my hearing.

Who knows...maybe they will realize why it is wrong to equate the word retard with lazy and stupid. :D

I can hope. I can also hope that when someone tells me a word offends them or something I've done offends them that I can think and act instead of kneejerk and react. That's not a pretty sight when I do that.

Ok this is a very personal pet peeve of mine about language and popular use of it. I hear lots of times people say "oh I am so OCD" about this or that. It bugs me for a few reasons. The first is the correct way to say it is "I am so OC" obsessive compulsive, not I am so obsessive compulsive disorder. The other reason is that I have OCD and have lived with it for most of my life. It is a lot more than cleaning. The pain that is associated with the compulsions (cleaning, hand washing, counting) is terrible. The obsessions that cause the compulsions are exhausting. I am mentally ill or crazy. I am reclaiming those words and often use the c word to describe myself (crazy). Having any kind of mental illness it stigmatizing. When I hear someone joking about being a fanatic housekeeper and equating that with OCD it makes me feel invisible.