"Lots of femmes pack! " (Maria)

It was a rhetorical question meant to open up the conversation! I find packing femmes hot!

Elle*

No interest in packing by butch or femme.

Now I said packing, not strapping, to be clear and all.

I do not pack, nor have I ever. I may be young, but I'm fully aware that I don't need to pack to know I am butch. I am just as much of one whether I pack or I don't. We all have things that make us who we are, and we are no more or less without said traits. So, does that make me less of a butch? no. not at all. We were made to be our own versions, not copies of another type. We're all still who we are. I'm still a young, dapper butch, without anything between my legs. I am me, and that's what counts.

If a butch I am seeing wants to soft pack, I say go for it. It's none of my business really. If she wants me to groove on it, it's going to be disappointing for her because I just don't. It doesn't do a thing for me.

I hear about femmes who scrape it with their nails and share that MOMENT, that acknowledgement of difference, and I think, wow, we are so not the same. Seriously.

I love those moments of acknowledgement with butches or femmes. That frisson of recognition of who we are. That delicious exchange. But the softpack as a signifier of gender is not erotic for me. It is not a manifestation of masculinity that I find hot or even interesting. If someone were to wear it and not need me to interact with it in that way, then we'd be good.

It wouldn't mean I didn't see them for who they are or that I wouldn't groove on their masculine presentation.

I pack
 

When I think about it, that moment, reaching for someone -- it's a fun thing. All consensual, of course. Whether doing it slyly in public or not, it's a pleasure.

Just rubbing that high inner thigh in the car or anywhere. Yum.

A soft pack, for me, means I won't be going there. There are things we do for the pleasure of our partners that don't do all that much for us. But to fake that I want to reach for her stuff when I don't, no, that would not work.

Yet, I'd have to be busy or in a pretty pissy mood not to want to touch a partner between the legs if she wanted it.

The softpack is, ironically, a cock block to me. I do not have any interest in it. If it's there, I am not likely to fondle her.

My Butch does not pack, and until coming to the Butch-Femme site I had no idea that packing was something some Butches did. I don't judge a Butch by what's in their pants.

I only pack when I'm going to use it needless to say, it's not a soft pack.

Packing vs. non-packing is about personal preferences of the butch and has nothing to do with being butch enough or this or that kind of butch or whatever the hell people want to come up with.

Yes, I've met femmes that pack and butches that do and do not pack all the time, some of the time, only on a Sunday <g>....

Rope--

Getting educated here.
I thought all Butches had to pack or strap on to be in "The Bois Club".
Hummm,maybe not.

When I first came out to the big world other than a fue friends I was told by nearly everyone that if I didnt pack or strap it on I would never really be any kind of a butch.With that in mind I bought whatever it took to fill the toy bag...I spent mucho deniro....wow that good stuff aint cheep.That's been a long time ago,and to tell the truth untill I became a bfp planiteer I never felt I could ever not have or need to strap or pack to intrest anyone in the community.It dosent bother me to do either one way or the other..there is another thing I got from being hear that is being called her isnt a black ball word,I can stull be a big old butch jaust the same.I learn something reading these post that its ok to relax and be me without haveing to fix in a box that i'm expexted to be in.

I have had the pleasure of spending time (in real life) with quite a few butches and only a few of them packed. It certainly wasn't an issue to them whether I packed or not, but the ones who did pack explained their rationale. I imagine more info is available from the packing thread.

I did pack for a few b-f gatherings, but never mainstream. I don't think I would pack again unless it was a turn-on for the femme. I don't mind packing, but it isn't something I need to do currently.

I've never actually been with anyone who packs. My ex in San Diego used to think about it but never went shopping. And when I came out 20 years ago, I don't know that we knew much about it in New Zealand. Although, I'm sure there were plenty of butches who did think about it and tried doing it with socks etc.

Definately NOT.

Thank you bunches June:bunchflowers: Finaly beleaveing this came late but better late than never.

Everyone has their thing and as long as everyone is having safe, happy consensual fun, let the good time roll!

No one should be judged, looked down upon, treated differently, looked at sideways for their kink or their self expression! Especially here. We already get that out there! This is our place to embrace, love and cherish our community of packers, non-packers, hys, shes, butches, femmes, whoever you are. It is you and you should be proud.

It hurts that people in our community feel like they are not "butch enough" for not packing, or not in the "boys club". What is this? Since when is there a standard. I am confused. This reminds me of high school labels and it feels yucky.

Yep just be yourself. How butch is presented online and how butches live out in the real world are often very different. Either way, there is no right or wrong way to be butch.

I pack very occasionally but never soft pack. I don't feel the need for it. My connection is always there whether I am packing or not.

"Butch" is your essence....not a predetermined mold shaped by anyone. Anyone who tries to put anyone else in a mold of any kind needs to remember to look past the outside and see into the soul. As always, just stating my opinion. Whether I'm right or wrong <shrug> lol

Non Packing
 

I am a woman who is gay and butch and thats it And honestly im an older butch and all these labels are starting to confuse me It seems like everyday a new label is created at times I cant keep up (lol)

Thinking
 

I can't think of anyone in this forum that has "heteronormative" sex. We're all having queer, gay, lesbian sex I thought. Well that's unless you identify as straight.

I enjoy penetration and penetrating nothing about it = heteronormative:|

It's not about "hetero" sex for me by a long shot. Sometimes a femme wants deeper penetration and I'm happy to oblige. Besides, leaves both hands and mouth free for other things. ;)

Well I do agree not to let things get you down, but no I don't think it is just that simple. That would be like telling women just because so much of our culture tells us that we are inferior to men, just don't let that get you down, it's just that simple. Some are valued more than others. There is nothing simple about that. There are hierarchies in place and they do need to be discussed.

On another note, I am a stone butch lesbian with a cock. There is nothing heteronormative about me or how I have sex.

I don't think of people who pack or strap as heteronormative. It's queer sex if queer folk are doing it. And we get to fuck any way we want and still be queer. As leather folks, or as older ones, we had to fight that fight back in the day. I did anyway.

So, I agree. I don't know why I am the way I am. I like butch and femme cock. And I like pussy. A soft pack does leave me cold.

In another post, I mentioned a friend who introduced someone to butch cock. The someone immediately owned it, just wagged it around, danced, played and strutted. My friend laughed with delight at her sexual partner's newfound joy in the cock. I think that's awesome. I would, in the abstract, be happy for the butch, but I would not enjoy the display. That's the difference.

That doesn't make me more queer than anybody else. Or less cock loving in terms of sex. There are stone femmes who don't have a strong interest in pussy, or any interest in it. They are as queer as anybody else.

I guess what I am saying is that I don't think my preference is political anymore than I think anyone's is. It's just a preference.

i've never packed, ... that's not good or bad. just is what it is. well ... i have put socks down but that was only a time or two and that's been so many years ago ... i don't know that it can still count lol. so yeah, i have thought about packing. not going to say that i never will, because i just might, if i decide that i want to. now i've never thought about going out, say dancing, packing. that never crossed my mind until this group.

very true. life online and in the real, ... sorta beg to differ at times. no one should tell another person what makes them or breaks them. i don't give a care what folks say online (or in person) about their butchiness. and i don't care what they say about mine. but you know, i can't even find my butchiness at times! lol

maybe the packing isn't so much about the significant other as it is about the packer. we all need different things to turn us on. i don't know enough about the experience to share. just saying gender could be no where in the picture. and then again, it could be. sometimes we have to experience things to really know what's happening. i learn everyday. thanks for that. i watched a shawn colvin video. she had on a dress and pants, ... at the same time. my first thought is, what the hell! but then i step back and say, i might try that! lol now that's what a butch would do.

Gotta get in here,,
 

Ok here it goes.

As far as me packing i never have.I set things down and forget where i put them.I have read the horror stories of droping the "package" on the floor in public restrooms.Do you pick it up or leave it and say "Thats not mine" ! There is just to many things that can go wrong in the public that might catch you with your pants down so to speak.Like a trip to the emergency room.Hanging around home sure if my girl wants me to but probly never in public.Not a believer in baggy Levis.If you can see a "buldge" in my jeans and these things called "boobies",,,think i might be asking for it from the public.

The Ex'es,
I never strapped on for them because i was very good at satisfying them with just my self.Actually they didnt allow me to "go inside".That made me kinda crazy not being able to do that because i sure wanted to.Every now and then i would surprise them and slide in there.{no pun intended}.I would get my hair pulled hit on the back or my ears grabbed.That just wasnt a good idea to do that.To me it was worth it.My last Ex liked me going inside of her.She was wild and i loved every minute of it.I would ask her"One towel or 2?"OOPS another thread.I used vibrators and a dildo on her and it was great for us both.Then she wanted to use them on me and the relationship ended shortly after letting her know i wasnt going to lay on my back.I am a giver not a taker.

Then i find the Dash Site and my world opened up.I sat back and said WoW!But then i see the femmes in there like the "toys" that resemble the bio male cock/dick.Automatically i think they arent really gay or lesbian for that matter.I always thought that if they liked that kind of stuff for sexual pleasure they were using a gay/lesbian woman for couriousity and will eventually go back to the bio male.Over the years of living and reading about this lifestyle i love that isnt the case at all.I am very clear on that now.I am willing to do what my femme asks or declines.For me it is all about the Lady and not me.I love being a Butch Woman and identifies as she.

I love to pack.....my overnight bag

Hi,

I dont pack.and never have,I tried it once but when I slept on my stomach ..it hurt so I took it off..

The strap on comes out of the toy box when Im ready for it with the ladies..

Like two-spirit I don't pack either, but I have been known to oblige a beautiful femme....:cigar2:

I just found this site so I'm a newbie and am finding it so helpful. I have always thought of myself as butch and I loved that about myself. Where I am from there doesn't seem to be a lot of butch women. Anyway after getting online to try And find more women Like me I stumbled across a site that pretty much led me to believe I am not "butch enough" Because I don't like my hair short (it looks horrible on me) I have large breast, I hate binding it hurts and I rarely ever pack Because in public around my neck of the woods isn't smart. I do love for my femme to to strap Nothing sexier than her begging to use her cock. Yummy :sunglass: but at the end of the day I'm her butch she tells me she wants to feel my cock while she is dancing with me at a club I strap it, pack it or what ever she wants.
It Really does help to see there are so many different types of women out there. Some times we are just hard on each other. One thing I have learned from all of this is I'm me. I'm butch enough for me. If packing makes u feel like a complete you then do it up if it doesn't then don't. Wear long hair or short hair bind or don't. Only thing that counts is if you are Happy.

I never thought about it in those terms. I just figured if I liked it, what the hell? :) Though I now understand why my girlfriend a few years back freaked out on me liking penetration and told me I "wasn't really a lesbian". Cause to some penetration = straight sex? Bah.

I don't care what you call it as long as I am getting laid!

ETA: I do not care if my butch decides to pack or not. It is [obviously] her choice, and she would if I requested I suppose, but it all comes down to her comfort! It does not make her [or you, or you, or you!] less of whatever ID you feel you fit. You are you, and you are awesome!