I wonder how Mare is doing at work today... I know she dreaded going in ...
The day is dreary and kinda blue....
I find Maxwell arguing with a bird amusing....
I wonder where that beautiful bengal cat that has been lingering around our yard came from ....
There's far too much pollen on my car and I am wondering if I should hose it down or wait for the rain that's supposed to come ....
I think I'm hungry, but I'm not sure ....
I could use a nap ....

oy...
 

That I really like making new friends on this site. That's why I'm here. :)

whats on my mind !!! space and time, knowing...

Old age creeps up like a bad set of fucked up undies.

I am taking high doses of pain meds to deal with the tooth infection I have. I am seeing the dentist on Weds. But while I am waiting, the razor sharp pain in my mouth is wearing me down. I cant even put my tongue on that tooth. Thus, the pain meds.

Pain medication does a number on my personality. I am not so much fun to be around. I have to give it to chrissy for understanding how to deal with me. he darts in and out of the room, bringing me items, checking on me, then giving me space. I hate being fussed over when I am in pain. I am likely to chew someone's arm off.

I remembered today, some of my exes and how they dealt with me when I was in pain. Some did rather good. And a few, deserved Worst Partner of the Century awards. Glad those days are over. Glad the one here is a good person, and reads me well.

Weds is just a day and a half away...we can do this...

WOW that was a hell of a lot easier than Ebay.. people coming a little later to pick it up all done and free for me to sell :blink:
thanks baby

waiting ..... waiting ........
 

what will it be ? what will we need to do ? will we have to go on defense ? will we be able to breath easy ? I guess the answer is not the point it is not knowing ......

How to help one of my co-workers? :seeingstars:

Wednesday Night Baseball

What isn't on my mind????
 

Just wishing like hell that I wasn't so internally torn when it comes to what is best for everyone versus what's best for me.

Ever since I've been able to think for myself, I've had no issues with going down paths less used by those like me. I always tried to put the good of others in front of my own selfish wants/needs. Yet here I sit now struggling because of what I've learned in the past few hours.

Why can't I just have it my way and their way? It's not like I can just ignore the facts and do what I feel like I want. Just doesn't work that way anymore.

Maybe I'm evolving. Maybe I'm just getting cranky with each passing year. Maybe I just need to sleep on it. Maybe I just need to realize that it'll never be easy to decide which will take priority. Damned if I do, damned if I don't.

It's just so hard to understand. Having one foot in one part of this world because of my beliefs and the other foot in the other part of the world because of who I am. That makes it so much harder. One side judges me because of where my left foot is planted and the other judges me because of where my right foot is planted.

Why can't everyone else just come out of the dark ages so EVERYONE can be happy and feel like they belong.

Bleh,
Brute.

I hope you felt better after seeing the dentists. (I think your appointment was yesterday.) I wish you hadn't had to wait, that seems so cruel.

Allergies, unfortunately. I never had them until I moved to BC. I sneezed so loudly in the bathroom at work a minute ago that it actually echoed.

next steps in the cause of action

who to bring in who to leave out

pictures speak volumns

which course of action for phase 2

:pirate-steer:

I feel so utterly helpless.
 

I'm just really worried and concerned about a very close relative, who may have to have one of her eyes removed...(the good one).

I truly love her...and it's really killing me to see her emotional anguish, and dealing with so much physical suffering.


....:watereyes:.....:heartbeat:.....:worried:

Well...
 

If i told ya then i'd have to _ _ _ _ Ya! ;)

and get Your mind outta the gutter please. tee hee

OMG Sylvie, you're amazing! I'm not sure how I would have reacted. So many times I've thought...if this ever happened, this is how I would react. Until the day that it does happen and I react totally different from what I thought.

You were a hero! You stepped up and took care of yourself and defended yourself to the point where you had him running away from you! You did so good!! You should be so proud of yourself.

I'm sorry that happened to you and I'm pretty sure you wished it didn't. But at least you know that you can defend yourself when confronted.

What you might want to do now though is find someone that you can talk to about this. This is really a traumatic event and should be treated as such. Don't just shrug it off. You need to deal with this before it gets to you.

Some people just have to be hit over the head with the power of recovery before they change their behavior.

Seriously...your instincts and actions were RIGHT ON!! What a brave woman. That fucker will think twice before he tries that one again.

Wow, Sister. Good job. Glad your instincts kicked in.

Absolutely. Sylvie, the cops should have pointed you toward crisis counseling when you gave your report. I'm sure there's something in your town...often those services generate from a women's center (just as LGBT services start at a women's center, before they get their own).

(And tangentally, I might say, why is that so? Why do women's organizations give up their meager funding to take care of the world? Because we're trained to do so... let the Elks fund it out of their pocket for a change! Okay, my rant is over.)

How is
 

it that Doc's can forget everything and then look at you that you have lost your mind or even call you a liar???? when you say that you have been mistreated by some one in their office????

Thinking about all the crap I have to do for my birthday party.

So very very very proud of you Sylvie! You did a great job!

On a side note...THIS is why Everyone should take a self defense class of some sort! I used to volunteer and teach free classes when I was in Indiana. The free classes are out there, so take advantage!

Fixing to change careers again.....lordy. This economy is making it hard to support family but I refuse to let it get me down!

So truck driving here I come!!!! Gonna suck being gone all week long and only seeing her on weekends but I am stoked that the money will start flowing right away. That makes it all worth it.

Kinda Worried About the Honey-Do on the Weekend,
Brute.

So...

This guy on my project team at work is a buddy of mine. His wife taught me Christian Ethics in my grade 9 year and she is a complete sweetheart - I won him over by sincerely saying so. He plays soccer and really tries to keep fit and all the rest.

He says to me the other day, "I'm trying this new diet cleanse. Basically all you eat for about a week is bananas, raw almonds and cruciferous vegetables. Greek yogurt is good too if you can't eat that many almonds. Want to try it with me?"

So yeah, I'm not rail thin like the other woman on our project team. I'm a curvy kind of baby deer and I affectionately refer to the podge on my belly and bum as "puppy fat" even though I'm a little past the age where it could still be true. But he's always got his foot in his mouth up to his knee anyhow and I like him, so I want to give this thing a go. Nothing he mentioned will poison me, and I'm a big girl and I'll either do it or give it up as I so choose...

... until I remembered how tenacious he is. So the determined streak in me began to show when I said, "Sure, let's do it," and I bloody meant it. He e-mailed me this diet sheet and all I could think was that it'll just give me gas and make me grumpy because you can't have cheese on ANYTHING, which to me is tantamount to misery.

See, when I was 9 my Baba offered me something to eat (which she did every 20 minutes, I swear to God, and now I am the same freaking way.) I said, "No thanks, I'm on a diet." SMACK up one side of the head and SMACK down the other, then she's yelling, "You must not diet! You will grow too thin and no man will ever want you!" Then of course I relented and she made me a snack, because at age 9 the idea of no man ever wanting you is so very empirical and absolute yet so grown up that you can't even wrap your head around it, so best not to diet... just to simplify matters so that worrying about men - or boys, even, for pete's sake - can come later.

So even when I adjusted my diet to suit living with celiac disease after my diagnosis, it didn't change that much. I still ate bread - just different bread. I still chow down on the pasta... just different pasta. And potato chips, Cheezies (Americans, do you know what you're missing there??) and Tostitos are gluten-free...

Thus I've never dieted to lose weight or feel better or anything. My diet is balanced but I can and sometimes do eat like a workhorse. I am sturdy and healthy and happy... but this little challenge stirred something a little odd in me. Maybe it's because I'm proving myself at work, or maybe it's because I was the kind of person in university who would do speed or coke or shrooms just once for the sake of knowing what it was like to be really screwed up. I'm going to put a positive spin on it, though... I think it's for the sake of team-building and because I want to try something I wouldn't ordinarily do that's a little more ethically neutral.

So here I sit, determined to see this thing out if only to see what kind of stuff an extreme diet will do to your body. I'm eating a bell pepper (which I've cored and pithed) like an apple and feeling more and more pissed off and hungry by the minute.

I want some cheese on this thing. Lots of it.