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Me: "Wow, I have Sunday off. I'm not going to know how to act."
Her: "What's so different.... you don't know how to act anyway!" |
Hollylane: I couldn't get Chessie to respond to "leave it" or "drop it", so I taught him "givey", he understands "givey" really well!
Gaige: You should teach him the words "Drop it Hon" or "Leave it, Hon", he'd understand that. Hollylane: Why? Because he'd be so appalled by the Baltimore pronunciation of "Hon"? Gaige: No, it would be natural for him, because he's a Chesapeake Bay Retriever. |
"Get your hairy ass out of my face!" wth? I'm way over here, and I'm waxed
(muttering'fucking cats') |
"I tried to fit in all the Big Bangs I could!"
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We are almost done....
You did really good....however, Your tongue really fought me today........ You have a really strong tongue (at the dentist office today...) |
me: when my mom tried it, she said it was better than sex!
friend : that's what we'll call it, Better Than Sex! |
Me: what'd you do??!!
Them: it was a big one and I didn't think I needed it! Me: (laughing) where'd you pull it from? Them: from down there Me: Move over... it's full! there's no room for it! (still laughing) Them: take one out Me: then where are you gonna plug that one in?... OH GOD this is a fire hazard! Them: (laughing hard) I was gonna Skype Me: not without the internet ...where do I plug this in now? Them: take one out I don't need Me: :| |
Gaige and I on Skype...
Gaige: I'm going to put you down, and go use the bathroom... Hollylane: You're not allowed to "put me down", but you're welcome to lay me down...;) |
"
Hym: "Oh, God honey it felt so good today! It's been so long since I've been able to ride it like that, I almost forgot how good it can be!" :|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|
me: staring, speechless, one eyebrow raised (I've been at work all day...has it REALLY been THAT long??) Hym: I'm so glad I got the Harley out of the shop today! |
"You don't want your balls? I'll eat your balls"
"OMG... Not those balls! I don't eat THOSE balls! " (referring to my crab stuffed shrimp that looked like little balls) |
Me explaining house rules for the dogs to Gaige: For Obi, I have to say "No babies outside!" , and for Chessie, I have to say "No balls in the bedroom!"...
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"Get your face outta my stuff!!!"
No, she wasn't talking to me. |
"If it's wet and not yours.......DON'T TOUCH IT!"
(referring to the slimy stuff on the beach) |
after 'movie night' discussion
me: give me my blanket and pillow
them : what do you mean 'mine ' ? It's got a wolf on it! me: possession is 9 tenths of the law and I've been sleeping with the bitch! :P them : (said in shock and dismay) you've been sleeping with the bitch? well alrighty then! |
G: "I don't like bits of shit in my macaroni salad!"
H: "Nobody does baby, nobody does..." |
me, washcloth in hand, pointing at mess with other hand...cross look on face ...
flabbergasted friend : I can't help it when it splatters!!! |
Gaige (talking about yard work):
"Okay, I'm going back out to play in the dirt baby" Hollylane (not thinking about yard work): "Well, aren't you a dirty butch!" Gaige (about my slowly dwindling pile of clothes in the laundry basket): "Okay baby, go take care of your mound" Hollylane (not talking about laundry): "I think you should be the one taking care of my "mound" handsome..." Equals: :smirking femme: :smiling butch: |
My Alpha Femme Pit Bull Lawyer House-mate: Sooo... Glenn, what do you think of the government shutdown?
Me: Well... My Alpha Femme Pit Bull Lawyer House-mate-What is UP WITH THIS FUCKING SHUTDOWN? Can anyone say injunction? Do I have to go into Federal Court and write the fucking injunctive relief myself? Congress does not have a line item veto, there is no legal vehicle for rewriting a law that has been vetted (I think that's what she said),passed and signed, and anyone who thinks the admin should "bargain" with the tea party is sorely misinformed about how legislation works, and F**k to the Y...I... I am a Republican, and I am disgusted! *she leaves house* Me: :) |
My partner: "You sure do know your balls..... *long pause*......meatballs, matzo balls..."
Me: *laughing so hard I can't breathe* "Indeed I do!" |
At the beach with some of my partner's friends:
Me: *watching some people next to us play with lighted bocce balls* OMG the blue balls are so awesome, I want those. Me: *to the guy who was playing bocce with them* HEY! I want your blue balls!! The whole beach: *SILENCE* |
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