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why haven't I finished cleaning my house?
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Thinking about the gym tomorrow, and getting into a new routine starting next week :)
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Too much. I want to learn to stop thinking without falling asleep.
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The grind
Love. Endings.
Beginnings. Coffee. My friends who are there for me to listen. More coffee. Work. Fire and knives. Back to the grind ; ) Lastly..what a beautiful day. Gratitude. |
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The future and what waits for me
The road that brought me here All the love I feel and all the love that is sent my way What I have learned and what I still have to learn Everything happens for a reason I do not have all the answers and how happy I am to realize this |
That the world seems to move on while others are still in distress.
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I live in a very suburban neighboorhood, but lately we have had to extra careful and carry a big stick because we have at least 2 coyotes wandering through the area!
Kasey was confronted by two of them when she was walking our small dog a few evening ago, and thank goodness she had her stick and knew to yell and make herself to appear big and mean. Come to find out the city of Long Beach brought the coyotes to the airport nearby to keep down the population of critters! :blink: |
This has probably already been said or thought about.
It seems that since life is so short you want to use your time wisely but how can you use your time wisely if you don't know how to use your time wisely. It's all subjective I guess. |
Dealing with drama from a high school friend, and learning that I'm much stronger than I give myself credit for :)
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Stem Cells
Plasma Cells Monoclonal Banding:blink: |
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I have stood by the same tree I always stand by to wait for the bus and within the past three days I have had to watch two funneral processions pass me by. Not sure what this means but it's kinda starting to creep me out a bit.
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My suitcases arrived! That was stupendously speedy delivery! Now I can't stop packing and unpacking the bags in the part of my brain that keeps the lists...
http://common1.csnimages.com/lf/49/h...361465/1/1.jpg |
How do people FUCKING do this during floodings!
During Hurricane Katrina 250,000 Dogs and Cats were left behind. The cruelty of selfish human beings! And I'm talking able bodied people not the elderly and disabled. If I couldn't get out I would not leave without my beloveds! I would be on a rooftop with my Dogs and I guess my girl too, since she said she would stay behind with me. If I had enough time to get out and even if I didn't have a car or money, my ass would be walking north with my Dogs and sleep on the side of the road if we had to. How can people think of only themselves and not the suffering of other living beings. Instead they are left alone in death traps to potentially die or to just die a suffering death. Makes me terribly angry!
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A walk
Earlier tonight we went for a walk to the place where we shared our very first kiss almost 13 years ago. Over the years I would drive by the river look down and remember it. Sometimes she lived in the state sometimes she didn't. I lived all over but always called that place home. But Everytime I drove by that spot I would think of her. Always. I never thought I would see the day when we would be there again. But there we were, so I took her hand as we walked back to the car, she smiled at me as I opened the car door for her like I always do, but before she got in I kissed her. In the same spot we did, 13 long years ago. It's amazing how so much can change, but our feelings have always been the same. She was my best friend than and she's still my best friend today. That was the best walk I've had in a very very long time.
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Time wears her not; she doth his chariot guide;
Mortality below her orb is placed. --Raleigh The full-orbed moon with unchanged ray Mounts up the eastern sky, Not doomed to these short nights for aye, But shining steadily. She does not wane, but my fortune, Which her rays do not bless, My wayward path declineth soon, But she shines not the less. And if she faintly glimmers here, And paled is her light, Yet alway in her proper sphere She's mistress of the night. ~~Henry David Thoreau~~ |
I just woke up from a horrible nightmare ... The kind that makes you sweat.
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-wondering if another kidney is coming. this is not right, but i'm thankful for what i get. :vigil:
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Way too much on my mind...but clearing my mind for the long weekend...TGIF!
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response to Mrs Arcstriker
Thank you for your suggestions and supportive, kind words.
I have not had a banger like this one in so long that I cannot remember. At least it did not escalate to the point of me thrashing around and yelling ... my dogs were calmly sleeping when I awakened. I may be wrong but I do not think people who are inexperienced in night terrors can grasp how frightening they can be. From your comments, I see you are quite familiar because you can predict what will bring one on and ... very important - how to comfort yourself. I am 100% okay this morning. Eating spicy food for dinner late night and going to bed immediately afterwards is a definite trigger for me. Not the case last night - I had watermelon for dinner. Anyway, all good this morning. :) Again, I appreciate you taking time to provide your comments. |
lots of fun stuff *sarcastically*
taking car to have engine torn apart... praying they put all the pieces back and ready Saturday and really fun stuff *weekend plans* hearing back from landlords in distant town, I might be able to keep the farm if this works out! |
The safe, protected feeling i have when i am with Daddy, always. He even protects me from my own self because i really can be my own worst enemy and critic at times. His constant support and love and endlessly being present in Our relationship, which always makes me feel so loved. His rules, obeying them. Being His, proudly and how it feels to be the girl on His arm. my online time management, needing His permission and now the ease in time management as specified by Him (something i am extremely grateful for today). Taking care of Our home, helping Him and the others at the restaurant, meeting His expectations in things He wants of me, hearing the words goodgirl ..His voice of reason, His calm and patience, His excitement and laughter..Our moon..Our snuggle time & being showered with His kisses to wake me up this morning... i feel very grateful to be here with Him, and anxiously awaiting this next year to move here with Him...i find reasons to love, cherish, respect and admire Him more and more every day and definitely counting my blessings.. |
...the hill of laundry...it's just daunting :|
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"G" is on my mind and obviously the letter of the day. My mind is consumed with guns. There are about 20 or 30 long guns at the auction tonight. And a grill I'd like to have. So see "G" is on my mind today.
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Using my cell ...
I have managed ... to post 2 of the exact same photos in the gallery. I did this once last year too. So far, I cannot remove it. I cannot see an "Edit Photo" dropdown that takes me to the delete photo checkbox indicating "Careful! When it is gone, it is gone" :( A case of user error (me) and maybe limitations of this cell. Arghhhh! And unable to use workstation at work. It would give me a RESTRICTED error. These errors are logged and the links get sent to the big chief. Maybe by Thanksgiving, I will finally notice that "get rid of photos" checkbox. :cigar2: |
What is on my mind right now...
how 90% of the people I've come into contact with today are in pissy moods! Breathe Tonya, do not let these people steal your sunshine :) |
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Maybe moving back to the US in a couple of years? I was happier chatting with random people in Seattle this past weekend than I have been in Vancouver in a long time. Not a friendly city.
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My workout this morning ~ it was a good one :)
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I am thinking about my son more than usual today. I miss him. A lot. He lives nearby but ---- he's 20. I'm told this is normal, that he'll come back around. I'm sure that's part of it but I am afraid there is more to it. We have a complicated history. While I'm always reaching out to heal our wounds, he just does not want to be reached right now. Our interactions are always loving and kind just very, very, sparse these days. I am reduced to stalking him on FB -- thank god he lets me! I will continue to be here loving him whether he knows it or not, whether he cares or not - and when he's ready I will still be here. Always.
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Whats on your mind
A lovely weekend with my new g-f!
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What a difference a year makes...
It was one year ago today that i was getting ready to move from Charlotte to a small town...i was uncertain whether or not i would really be happy but my friends lived here and my new apartment was wonderful and full of promise... It's been an interesting year to say the least...full of gains and losses... Also one year ago today i lost 20% of my income when my boss cut my hours at work because of a slow down in business... Some friendships faded but were quickly replaced by new ones... my eyes were opened to some things, i learned some truths and despite this i'm still standing and very happy...i've forgiven those that tried to hurt me, restructured my budget, worked very hard to rechannel and learn from the negative things as well as the hurt and pain which led to a deep strengthening of myself and healing of mind, soul and spirit...i am thankful for it all because i am a better and happier person. Living in a small town has been a learning experience for me...people are so friendly and kind...everyone is your neighbor, willing to lend a hand...they truly care about each other... Business has picked up significantly but not my hours and i'm not sure i want them to because i truly love my 3 day weekends...though my budget would love an increase in salary... By far the most wonderful thing to happen was meeting my Beloved...a number of years ago i had vowed to never again give that special part of my heart to anyone but hy never gave up on the possibility of us and for that i am forever grateful...Hy completes me...hy is my heart and soul...the smile on my face, the spring in my staggered steps, the sparkle in my eyes and the beautiful song in my heart...i cannot and do not want to imagine my life without hym...i cherish hym... Yes, it's been quite a year indeed and each new day is better than the one before... |
I stood in the kitchen a bit ago and ordered everything to return to it's rightful place and clean by the time I come back......I'ma go back in there and see what happened.
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Arizona State Ladies Poker Championship tournament this weekend!
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my Daddi not feeling well, i hate that. :hk27:
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