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Waiting for the cold meds to kick in.
Listening to the giddiness in a friends voice as she plans her wedding. Its a femme friend. She is telling me all about the dress etc. Wondering why she thinks i would care about the dress? LOL How we prepare our lives for the "dance" with the one. And some never dance. |
why oh why
is the phrase " a satisfied virgin is a virgin no more" playing over and over in my head?...since yesterday, no less....what am I channeling a 12 year old boy?
the voices, oh the sweet voices...I guess they know what they are doing! ;> (jk re: 'voices')...I do remember when I was a teacher at the state mental hospital the things the voices Did say to people were fascinating and heartbreaking in the same breath...always wondered, still do, why the 'voices' could never have been kind...well, I think I know why--more accurate to say that I wished the 'voices' Could have been kind.... early morning coffee inspired Yap at a close ! n |
Last night, when I finally DID drift off to sleep, I dreamt I was in an episode of Parks & Recreation. :|
We were making posters for the soldiers in VIET NAM. I was clearly heterosexual, as I was flirting with Ron in a big way, while cutting out sponge letters. The blonde, Leslie.....used to be on SNL....she and I were besties, evidently. And there was a table~full of guys on this project, too, but only a couple of them in the actual show. The rest were various friends of mine from the past and Bon Jovi. (No, I hadn't been smoking a thing! :smokejoint: ) The poster was to read something like "Wishing You Peace", but I had drawn a big cannon underneath it....it was exploding flowers.....yes, I'm a child of the 60's. I know this must mean SOMEthing...... I also dreamt ~ separate dream ~ that I was traveling along a road I had traveled on as a child, but all of a sudden, the road changed and I was on a narrow path that led straight to a footbridge/dam sorta thing over a lake. It was made of stone....and it got more narrow as I got closer to the other shore.....I wanted to take a picture, but I was afraid to look up from the stone path, thinking I might lose my balance. I did make it to the other side, only to find a cliff of about 6'. There was an older woman ~ from the 60's ~ in a pink, double knit dress, black patent purse and a big "bubble" hairdo with winged glasses, watching me. I asked, "How do I get up there?" She said, "I don't know, but I don't think I can lift you. Look over there...maybe you can walk up there." And she pointed to a place in the cliff that COULD have been a path up to that next level. And I remember thinking how ridiculous it was to have this footbridge that just led into the wall of a cliff with noplace left to go...... I had a 3rd dream, too, in an old house with knotty pine paneling and a bunch of people walking up and down stairs with low overhead room....it looked over a big valley and it was sunset.....there was a hotair balloon flying in the distance......I don't remember this dream as well as the others. All were in color, of course. :) Who HAS dreams like this!?!?!?!? Where's Daywalker?!?! |
looking out the window ..at the snow blowing around out there..:blink:
and trying to get motivated to get bundled up and go get lunch.. |
Feeling as if I have to walk on egg shells. :bomb:
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An insurmountable pile of work, a proposition for this weekend, kitten tails, nail polish, and food. The usual!
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Really hoping that both Mare and I get days off tomorrow. I love being snowbound with Her. I'm thinking about a nice hot fireplace, warm cuddly kitties and massive snuggle time. (And maybe some of Her homemade chickie soup).
Yeah .... that's niiiiiice. |
DAY ALMOST OVER THEN IM ON VACATION!!!
for 5 whole days. and my friends are coming to visit from out of town WOO WOO!!!!! and pls make the snow go away in time for their flight in... :cold: |
where I can get good moving boxes for free |
That I am crystal clear on who I am- both the good and the bad- and that I am not responsible for the sins of others. I can't change anyone's past, including my own.
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Lay off the Mexican food before you go to bed. :| |
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For realz. :blink: |
No Mexican food was harmed in the making of those dreams!
"For realz!" :seeingstars: |
I have been pondering "pleasure". How to define it. How it differs from "joy". What happens when we dont have it. Wondering if its a necessity. And mostly, what is it that brings me pleasure. |
A discussion that I need to have....
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I feel like that around here some days....I can probably feel what you feel. Chin up, talk about it or shake it off, but don't blow up. |
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Must be the wine....no more drinking the whole dang bottle alone anymore. |
Do I somehow put the whammy on electronics?
My cable box hates me - came home last night and it's fried because (according to Time Warner) because there was a power outage and then a surge when it came back on and this fried the chip or something inside). This is my 3rd cable box in the last 2 months. My new TV hates me. I had to disconnect the cable box and connect the cable to the TV. I can't get the remote to channel up or down and have to enter individual channels. It won't let me programme the remote and the manual is....well, it hates me too. My new phone, Alias 2, drops calls when I am sitting in my home office. Reason? It tells me that I have lost the signal because I haveleft the service area. Then it restores the signal telling me I have re-entered the service area. And I haven't event moved! |
In aprox 33 hours my life changes. I am about to begin an amazing journey with the person of my dreams. Never have I been so excited, so ready, so peaceful and so very sure. This is the most exciting time in my life EVER and it completely consumes my mind.
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" yours in a loaf pan"....talk about a clever turn 'o phrase...and how it gave me a real laugh and broke the glum of the morning...
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And when did you become the boss of me? Hmmmm? :superfunny: OR my wine rack, either! ;) |
What is on my mind
*Understanding how Snowkisses and Wolfyone feels about walking on eggshells. I have the same feeling.
*My oldest sister told off our bio-parents yesterday. I am just numb. *Trying to figure out what to do next with my illnesses. I feel lousy. |
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Not a good day...
and I don't know how to swim...
:titantic::titantic::titantic::shark: |
I think it is very unfair of Sapph to call and brag about the snow.
When is it ever going to fall here? *stomps foot*:antler: |
on my mind ................
ya know... i was browzin pix in the galleries.... in various places... and came across couples... like there's a awsome one of . Sass, Mtn,Kim and fish.....btw along with a lot of others i seen. and i dont know it just gave me some tears.. about myself.... why cant i find the right one?? why is it .. i am 54 and im single?? what is MY problem?? I try to do all the right things... and i feel like its a losing battle. maybe im not good enough for anyone....not pretty enough, skiny enough, smart enough , i dont know what it is.. i know the kind of person i want as a partner... but the ones i seem to have a interest for .. seem to be more attracted to more of the foofoo type girls... i guess i could foo foo it up..... but i want them to like me for me... i dont want to be somebody else just to land someone. i was with someone once that said.. hy would never ever leave me no matter what.... well hy did.... another i was soo deeply in love with, would do anything for and trusted 200% but,... guess thought some grass was greener on the other side of the fence.. and was cheated on. then you run into someone whom is a control freak.. maybe im just getting to old for love anymore.... i dont know... i try my best to keep a positive ,friendly,help others when i can, bubbly attitude, a nice date would be nice once in a while. anyways...im not looking for a ahh oh whoa is me , feel sorry for me thing here.... guess i just needed a lil vent..... im sure it will pass. :) . |
((((((((((((((((((((((((morningstar55))))))))))))) ))))))))))
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ty Ol Jet.... ;) i been talking to a couple close friends..... some think i need a lil time out of this truck and do something fun..... but ummm i need to pay the bills.. a weekend somewhere wouldnt be to bad..... cuz a lot of times i end up hangin around this truck all weekend . and it being winter.. im cooped up in it. and i do not hang out inside the truck stops with some of them ol stinky male drivers.... anyways... it was also suggested maybe i just need to get.. :fuck: the magic wand is getting old at times..... heh then sometimes i just think i need to sit bk and relax and have a glass of wine or summtin. im not much of a drinker. but do like something now and then. http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o...r1955/wine.jpg |
heyyy got a load going over to Lexington KY........ soooo time to drive........... have a nice rest of the afternoon everyone. ........ ** grabbin some :chocolate:** :)............ |
Morningstar :flowers:
I'm pretty sure I'm not your type but you know I :stillheart: you. I fainted after I had blood taken this morning. It was really embarrassing and I had to stay there and drink apple juice and eat a sandwich. Then, since I fainted and all, I decided to take the rest of the day and do nothing but fool around online. http://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n...lies/drama.gif |
I'm thinking about past decisions, poorly made, and the residual fallout from them....oh, and smartass telemarketers. :batmoose:
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God is on my mind tonight and being alone with Him. [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqp89bkFe8k"]YouTube- Sister Act- I Will Follow Him- Finale[/ame] |
Biscuits and gravy |
She is on my mind tonight...I can't wait to see her tomorrow night and spend time with friends. Playing games, laughing, telling funny stories (of which some of my peeps here are part of those stories! :winky:), and then spending all day Sunday with her, just lounging around watching her favorite show on DVD.
Good golly I hope my puppy is on her best behavior and doesn't embarass me! :blink: |
I don't know what is on my mind but it obviously has NOTHING to do with sleep. I bet if I could sleep a whole night say ummm 8 hrs, I'd be awake for 3 days
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the impending arrival of the love-of-my-life this afternoon and hoping that Her Royal Greyness the Woodipotimus won't be leaving me more 'presents' around the house this weekend.
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Realizing after my nervous breakdown what I was doing to my family and friends. Am I proud of costantly snapping at them? No. When I needed support last weekend, they all stood behind me and gave me the help I needed. I am forever indebted to them and I am moving out of a negative living environment to a more positive one and officially moving out of Florida next weekend.
For once in my life, I am happy and thinking clearly. Thank you to all of my family and friends. |
on my mind.............
enjoying my morning...... with some coffee. and talking to a friend on the cell, and pondering all the view points and stories over in the food stamp thread..... heh |
FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!
You would think my body would just give me a fucking break now and again. Two debilitating diseases in ten years and I survived. So we're going for three are we? Well just FUCK. YOU!!!! I'm getting me an avatar and I'm going to live on Pandora. |
I am meeting a friend from 10th grade at Whispering Hills Christian Academy (UGH) who was shocked and stunned (and appalled) to know I am gay, but now needs my help because her 20 year old daughter is seeing a woman and she needs some perspective.
I hope I can be supportive and positive and help her no matter what she says. |
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