|
The look on folks' faces :| around town this morning because I had a mug in one hand a cup in the other and a bottle of water in my back pocket. :rofl:
What???? Okay okay I may possibly have a drinking problem these days. :superfunny: |
Imagine both laptops open with our wallpaper-choice pages still open and at least 15 color swatches all over the bed.
Me with my arm in the air like I'm holding Shakespeare and shit reciting some verse that I just wrote. Jackhammer: "That's Beautiful!", amused smile, "I mean......beautiful", snort....cracksnort........guffaw. Me (sniffing away a fake tear): "Ya think?" Jackhammer: "Either that or I'm high!" Me: "Honey, let's get high, write some poetry, and redecorate the library!" We look at each other, pause, and both exclaim in unison, "WE'RE FUCKING GAY!" |
|
Quote:
I absolutely want the pole in the middle of their living room. :blink: |
my mother's pit bull trying to initiate play with her little dog sister...she is just such a big goof! My daughter has actually nick named her Dippy...lol
|
This here video... I kinda feel bad laughing at the poor spazzed out kitten, but then I watch it again and giggle hysterically.
Video Linkage cause the other way isn't working... |
My date after only 3 hours asking when we were going back to my house "for some fun" I just busted out laughing. Girl Please I'm hard to get
|
Listening to David Sedaris at work. He makes me laugh out loud.
|
During the terrible thunderstorms we had this evening
Christmas Elf to her Mommy.....Mommy it's raining peas |
My mom....
My brother and sister have apparently told her she is taking on too much by caring for her elderly neighbor/friend and told her as much...and they are tired of hearing about her activities with said neighbor.... SO...my mom being my mom..... She tells me, "From now on, when they ask me what I did all day, I will say, 'I went to the bar, got drunk, brought home a strange guy and did the nasty all night!'" :| My mom is a spit fire lil firecracker... :) |
|
The little old lady club at the assisted living facility where my client lives....
They were discussing the time...and saying that their watches said 10 minutes til 12....but yet the clock on the wall said 10 :| I had to let my hair cover my face so they wouldn't see me quietly laughing....it was just too adorable. also... same ladies, seem to not realize that my hearing is actually half way decent...for now...and start talking about me before I'm out of earshot...lol They say such nice things :) And I know they mean it since they don't think I can hear them! |
My kid brother is a NUT. Well he isn't really a kid he's late 30's, but he's still a NUT!
|
watching the lil thing of a girl working across from me on the line... totally freak out over a spider that crawled in front of her on the table.. then went under the table where no one could find it... i was doing both our work but laughing my ass off in the process... this was just to funny... then.. after said spider was taken care of.... watching our floor manager get the air hose... and give a quick blast on the back of her neck... and watching her freak out again... *laughs* needless to say... she threw a stack of parts at him... its times like that... that makes it all worth it... priceless...
|
Finally watched the new episode of the Venture Brothers. There was a Clash of the Titans riff that had me almost in tears from laughing so hard.
|
A message telling me to rest up.....since the Patriots were gonna need me to be their tight end this season....it made me guffaw fosho....lol
|
This Duck Dynasty show!
Zimmeh |
Daughter comes home late from the ER visit and sits to talk. My grandson is cuddled on the couch with me. She notices a smear of something on the front of her couch....
daughter: juji what is this you got on the couch? juji: let's call it cheese! :D LOL He's so random. Even at 1am. :superfunny: |
|
My curiosity it's really going to kill the *** one day...lol someone save me from my own head!
|
Someone goofed ...
there's an "adult toy" add on Craigslist under Farm+Garden posts. I guess a garden tiller or lawn mower can be considered adult toys ...but the thumbnail pic beside the title certainly isn't a tractor ... |
I made some yummy lunch for my 3 year old grandson...And he runs over...hugs me and says,"I yuv you gamma! You a genius!
|
Something completely inappropriate...but I simply could not help myself...really...:giggle:
|
At breakfast this morning with three lovely ladies of the elderly persuasion.....
A lady new to our table is asked what she would like to drink. She looks up at the CNA and says "gin and tonic". I about bit my lip to keep from cracking up at the table... I do love my job :) |
I came across a whole different version of the song Blurred Lines music video and lol it's pretty freakin fabulous...the best part is near the end when the wall has "Robin Thicke has a big dick" written on it...lol here is the link [nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwT6DZCQi9k"]Blurred Lines (Unrated Version) - YouTube[/nomedia]
|
It was a few days ago...but I just thought of it....
I was watching TV with my Tues/Wed client....and the 877 CASH NOW commercial comes on....and I started singing it because I always do...and she started singing it with me! Seriously, commercials today are too catchy. This is a lady who doesn't even know her own kids/grandkids most days....but she remembers that...lol |
my little lady....
I was bringing her much detested walker to her..so she would remember to use it (visual cues seem to work better than verbal with her) and she looks at me all excited and says, "Oh! So YOU'RE using it now?!?" :blink: Mmmhmmmm nice try.....she's adorable but tricky that one..... |
a one line statement on the "health " news app reads "the average penis size is 5.6 inches when erect"...
my first thought was "not in MY world".. *naughty chuckle*... |
a text message with a picture attached............
the text read just pulled over on the side of a residential exit so she could poop on the potty in the back of my car (SUV) the attachment was a picture of my 2 1/2 yr old Christmas Elf sitting on the potty in the back of the SUV with the back door open. She is grinning and has sleepy eyes, and dangling blonde curls as she poses on the big girl potty halfway to the beach. Me..OMG she is gonna hate yall in 14 yrs Tina....Oh we're gonna save this one for the yearbook! |
We were watching this ridiculous commercial for a hair curling product....
and I mockingly told Ted, if they are buy one get one free....I'm totally getting one! No sooner were the words out of my mouth...then the big BUT WAIT!! came over the screen...and low and behold...yep....buy 1 get 1 free.... :| You have to see it to believe it...seriously.... https://www.aircurler.com/ |
a day filled with laughter, goofy friends, meeting two of Blade's friends that I've waited 3 years to meet (and two of us simultaneously saying "AND you're not a figment of his imagination! ), silly faces made by the 'other That Woman' (said with respect) when she sipped my adult beverage ...and INSIDE jokes reflecting on memories of searching for cock rings ...
a great day and how buzzed I got from one lil drink ;-) ;-) |
So it's late afternoon and we're going through shift change. New shift comes on and the kids are loud and rambunctious. An older staff gets up and is heading to the kitchen to begin dinner... and in her attempt to be a smartass to the rest of us that are still amongst the rowdy teens says, "I'm going to the kitchen for my private time!" :blink:
What she really meant to say was quiet time!! Now we're throwing out the retorts of - Do you need us to leave? Will you be needing the whisk or other handy utensils? Ahahahahaaaa she won't be living that down for awhile... if I can help it!! :superfunny: |
I was reading a post by Uniqueswtfemme and she mentioned Kris Kringle. It reminded me of a time years ago a group of friends were playing Trivial Pursuit. The question went to Patty, Who is Kris Kringle? She thought and thought and finally she came up with her answer. Remember this was back in my early 20's, we were at the lake and were all drinking....She wrinkles up her nose twist up her mouth and says.....is he the guy on the French fry commercial or the bag or something like that. OMG!!! A room full of drunks erupted into hysterical laughter. We laughed so hard at her seriousness and incorrect answer, that none of us could tell her who Kris Kringle was.
If any of you ole timers remember, there really was a commercial with an animated French fry person, I don't know that he had a name but it certainly wasn't Kris Kringle. He was sort of like the Planters Peanut animation. Thanks for the memory and the laugh Uniqueswtfemme! |
Had to attend a mandatory Server Directives teleconference meeting at 3:00 today. I am here at the annex and we were hooked up with the main building. A fav Assistant Bureau Manager facilitated our meeting. She is an AfroAmerican woman with quick wit. I love her dearly! Our Bureau Chief facilitated over at the main building. At one point, we could not hear him ... he finally realized it and started in with the "Can you hear me now?" When we could hear him again, this way too cool, cocky woman said, "Unfortunately." She always gets great digs at this jackass. She is retiring after 36 years next month. I miss her already.
|
couple things...
Yesterday...
I was with my evening client. Her hubby of nearly 60 years was up and down...she asked me where he was going this time...I told her he was going to the kitchen and did she want me to put a rope around him to keep track of him? She says, "No. He always comes back!" Today... My client and I were leaving the dining room after breakfast...I was telling one of my fave ladies that we would be going to rosary at 10 and would she be there? She says..."well....I think I have a hair appointment....and you KNOW hair comes first!" I bout died laughing and told her I wouldnt tell god she said that. As we left she called out, "pray for me!!" Mmhmmm yes Fran. I think I best.... This is why I love what I do! <3 |
Staff: Yes I can speak several languages.
Kid: *speaks a few words in Russian* Staff: Was that Russian? Kid: Well yeh. Staff: How do you know Russian? Kid: I have a little Russian in me. Me: *holds fingers up to show an inch measurement* How big is the little guy? :superfunny: I crack myself up!! And everyone else!! |
|
|
|
After we ate supper I walked outside with my parents. I told them good bye and started to go back inside. Dad turned and said where are you going I said to the bathroom. Mom said be careful. HUH? Really? be careful in the bathroom? What am I gonna do fall in? Ummm not hardly.
|
| All times are GMT -6. The time now is 03:21 PM. |
ButchFemmePlanet.com
All information copyright of BFP 2018