Robert Hayden
 

Those Winter Sundays


Sundays too my father got up early
and put his clothes on in the blueblack cold,
then with cracked hands that ached
from labor in the weekday weather made
banked fires blaze. No one ever thanked him.

I'd wake and hear the cold splintering, breaking.
When the rooms were warm, he'd call,
and slowly I would rise and dress,
fearing the chronic angers of that house,

Speaking indifferently to him,
who had driven out the cold
and polished my good shoes as well.
What did I know, what did I know
of love's austere and lonely offices

My sweet friend who is in the hospital...I'm worried about him.

I washed bedding yesterday.
Today I get to wash clothes.
And think.
And work on a project.

Christmas gifts. How this holiday will play out. How long I will have to work this evening. If I can sneak out the side door and go shopping unnoticed. I need a new job. I'm bored.

Laughter and a lot of it

Both pups made me carry them to bed

How things can improve as quickly as I improve my attitude!

What are the cockles of your heart and why do they need warming?

I don't care how many nice dogs there are, in the room. If there is one dog that bites in the room, I don't want to go in there.

51840
.....

How good a shower felt

Every Christmas, I buy tree ornaments for friends I have that I can't visit. This has been a tradition with several of us for years. I am thinking I may have mixed up my ornaments. I have a "Babys First Christmas", 2012 floating around out there.... oh dear. Tradition is, we call each other on Christmas eve to open the presents. Haha , so I will not know till then. Thats whats on my mind.

History repeats itself... hopefully with better results
I have grown a lot in five years.
so have you.

My BestBear's surgery this morning.

Hoping it is swift and uneventful and that the recovery is smooth.

Like a dagger...
 

The feeling of an incredible heaviness within. Deep inside the recesses of my heart..over some very major realizations. :sadangel:

I have a seven year old son in Elementary School and I can not even put into words how devastated I am about the shootings in Newtown, Connecticut. I see bullying in my sons school, I see shootings all over the country. It starts at the beginning with teaching love and acceptance instead of hate. So sad. My heart is with those who have lost their children. I will hold my son extra close tonight and forever.


My quote today:

“Be the change you want to see in the world.” Mahatma Gandhi

Kisses in the rain

Goodness and light always trumps the darkness
 

Googled what was on my mind...up there on the title...and this is what...
remains...always...remains.


“There's always going to be bad stuff out there. But here's the amazing thing -- light trumps darkness, every time. You stick a candle into the dark, but you can't stick the dark into the light.”

― Jodi Picoult, Change of Heart

I am sitting here lying on my bed just thinking about life.. my dog's life... my old girl is lying here snoring next to me... for now.. she is peaceful.. resting... happy.. but her heart is not good, she gets four meds twice a day and it makes me sad to think about all of that.

I try to be positive most of the time and think about how she's doing well and how I still have her.. I tell her I love her daily... give her love...but sometimes, it's hard not to think of the alternative. I always hate having to make the decision to help one of my pups cross over to a better place and I hope with everything in me, that I won't have to do that anytime soon with her. Her heart will never get better, all we can do is make her comfortable. I keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best.

I'm rubbing her soft ears.. she is so damn cute!

my kitchen smells good... wish my son was here

What is on my mind....

Christmas shopping and how I have not started it yet.
Wondering what to get my children and grandchildren.
The fact that I absolutely adore the Christmas season.
How I so wish my middle child was home for the holidays with my granddaughter.
Looking forward to joining family and tradition with my Spritz and the General.
Have I mentioned Christmas shopping?
:blink:

----Getting up and away from the computer ---starting on my day.

I startled awake.

I woke myself up. I was giving instructions in English at ASL speed, which, if fluent like me, is very fast. It was odd.

The dream before that was better. I'd be happy to dream it again.

My Badass Biker Bf...giggles, and our conversation this morning and how he laughs with us and gets such a kick out of us like we do him...He's such a Daddy, in more ways than one...

Finding a place for my man cave, classes, the woman in my heart.

Above all else...Choose Love...always try to be a better Man... no matter what
the cost. Choose the path of love, compassion and light.

Justin is driving to LA to pick up her son and bring him back for the weekend. We adopted a family from a non-profit Deaf organization and he is going to pick out all the toys we buy. I can't wait to hear how many toys he wants. This should be a good learning experience! :)

Also, I am pretty sure we are going to an LGBT families Christmas event tonight. Looking forward to meeting new families!

when my heart is broken, i want everybody to stop. feel what i feel and cry with me. but i know that that is not possible. but even when the body doesn't stop for the broken hearted, ... the spirit can. i know that my spirit has stopped, ... silence is needed sometimes. i don't pretend to even know the grief. in jesus' name i pray.

I am still wordless & numb from yesterday's horror. I can't seem to bring myself to talk about it & this is the most I've even said about it. And I'm done.

I enjoy the hell out of those conversations with you two. So much laughter. Two beautiful women. I'm a very lucky guy. ;-)

there is a price for everything

Laughing until I cried...

What's on my mind right now? Honestly, the fact that I can't sleep and I'm horny. lol Also, that I LOVE being in Seattle! :)

whats on my mind?? 'a lot of things..... the life of a ADHD person.. lol
have to laf at myself sometimes.... i guess.

ok on a serous note here.....
: the loss of such such young lives in CT ... having tears in my eyes, reading watching and listening to the interviews, video.. of the tragic event .. the fearful faces of the kids having to close there eyes and being lead to safety..
people we all don't even know and how this tragic event has touched our lives.


something on my mind too....
why do we as a gay community everywhere... places that have so called pride/gay stores, where we can buy rainbow items , books gifts .. why do a lot of thee shops have sex toys and other smut books videos on hand in plain view??? I mean .... the gay community want to be treated as equal in society but yet have these kind of items mixed into the same stores.
i dont see Hetrosexual have dildo's / strap ons f**K videos and books in a store near you. when i g into a pride store and i see them items i feel kinda embarassed , i could never bring a small child into a pride store... thats for sure. i can see going to cash something out and there is a nice lil display of key chains and or candy that look like a dick. I have how ever in my travels been to a couple places where such items were NOT in a gay/ pride store. but not to many .

and another thing on my mind......
having a smile in my heart , knowing how happy I made Dutch Leonard's Christmas with that huge soft fleece blanket with hys mustang on it .. :)
:heartbeat::heartbeat:

Time spent with a Bear
Time spent with you

Both left laughter on my face and peace in my soul. And that's a beautiful thing.