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Several things spinning around in my head.
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I'm sitting here with a drink (okay a 6 pack), a stack of movies and blowing a party blower to celebrate the new year. I had a fantastic night out with a friend and now I get to come home, relax and enjoy having the bed to myself. What's on my mind? I never thought I'd be looking forward to a night away from my domestic partner. At least not like this. Tonight I feel free. I feel like the old parts of myself are starting to collide with the new woman that's about to emerge.
I'm thinking I'm greatful to have found new friends and a new way to interact with interesting people who can talk about random things and still manage to hold an intelligent conversation. I wish I had my puppy for company. There's still no feeling quite like couch cuddles on a cold evening. |
Renewal~Harmony~Health~Happiness~Love:moonstars: |
The future.
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Renewal, intimacy, a dream. Plans for the future both immediate and down the road. How much did I drink last night? :wine:
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Cycling in the chilly wind and rain to the meeting very shortly. :cold:
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The Pita Pit, dolphins, and.....ahemmmm....:)
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"Please respond the house is fully engulfed in fire and people are trapped inside"
worrying, wondering and waiting ..... |
She is......
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The good -
My sponsee-sister and her 5yr clean time celebration today. The bad - The parlous nature of some friendships. The ugly - Working out what's your 'stuff' and what's 'their stuff' in a given situation. |
whats on netflix 2 watch .....lol
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My surreal life
Being peaceful is not an option, it is a way of life. I had to set a good example for the kids. My ex went from our relationship right to her ex and now they are a couple. They kids are totally confused. I made peace with the situation and wished them the best. Our 23 year old college diva's boyfriend said to me "you are like some kind of Saint to me because I could never do that".
I said to him "No, son, trust me, I am no Saint, but I am someone who loves deeply. I love her and I love this family. I do not approve of her choices but I can still love her enough to have peace. Peace, health and happiness. If I am going to be selfish, I will be in anger. If I am going to walk my talk and practice what I preach, I am going to be in love. So by remaining in a place of love for all of us, I chose peace." The young man who is 25 and a Navy veteran just stared at me and said "but I know I could never do this I don't understand" I said "I am practicing Buddhism. None of this is about me. This is about her journey and she is on her path. It is not my job to try and change the direction of her path" I am not sure that he or I fully understood this conversation but I am not living through my ego I am living through acceptance and love. |
I'm thinking of a live I don't live anymore. I miss that life. |
Passion
Hunger |
I have terrible timing.
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cranberry cheese ....
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The Boy's oral surgery tomorrow morning. It's the first time he'll have anesthesia since his surgery 11 years ago. All the docs seem to think it won't be a big deal. So I'm trying not to borrow trouble.
Then I have to worry about what to feed a 6'7", 17 y/o, male for at least three days that's liquid and filling. bwahahahahaha I'm thinking I'm just going to keep him heavily sedated. |
How yummy these grape licorice straws are... :eyebrow:
I'm gonna have to try the strawberry ones soon :blink: http://img341.imageshack.us/img341/3646/slicorice.jpg |
...what isnt.
but to narrow it down :
work, play; work so I can play... friendships, not so friendships finances, splurges, work so I can play. retirement, salt mines, gerbil wheel, work so I can play health and wellness...throw in some buffalo wings for good measure fiscal cliffs, bungee jumping wallowing, climbing living, dying, reincarnation; living, dying, reincarnation....deja vu or groundhog day. you know, thinking about regular stuff. |
daydream thoughts.....i couldnt rlly get 2 sleep last night so i meditated for a lil bit n once again when i got up....i feel rlly good & now im jus kinda floatin in my mind.....its a good balance between thoughts directed toward self & others.....
my new resolution is to focus on the kind of guy i am...n i wanna b ..... not to worry so much about what the others have or where theyre goin ....or when ...we all have a different pace & once again im greatful for my dear ones to teach me that lesson ....my body is still goin thru a lot of changes wit hormones & my mind is too....but im determined to keep that balance & the duality i started out with before any of my evaluation started ... ill always be here for u ...that will never change ....& part of who i am is havin an open mind & open arms ...to listen...to care...to support & love unconditionally ...i will celebrate happiness in the lives of those i love because seeing them smile is the best gift i could ever receive |
A friend who left me a message at 7:30 this morning asking me to call him, with a weird edge to his voice. I haven't been able to get a hold of him for the past two and half hours. He worries me sometimes.
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Needs
Musings |
What's on my mind...
how not so patiently I am having to wait until we can actually bring the new puppy home from the Humane Society. Application was approved (which was like signing my life away), now we just have to wait for her Heartguard test to come back all clear so they can have her fixed. THEN, the sweet baby will be all mine :) |
A message received and understood
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a cold , wet , winter day here today.
I am feelin somewhat better today I have a fire going on in the fireplace, feels really comfortable right now a nice talk with the boss man. I still say I have one of the best boss's I ever had in my life. just a relaxing day, but I am startin to get somewhat bored...lol |
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Congratulations!!
Is there a name for this new sweet baby yet? Quote:
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Life... and what I want, and how to make it happen, and how to balance that with what everyone else wants.
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My goals for the coming year are strong on my mind. I have planned many changes to help myself feel grounded and in control in situations that may be chaotic or out of my control.
Tonight, for the second day in a row, I made time to meditate. The experience was so fulfilling, so grounding, and so joyous that now I find myself awake and energized. When I finish meditation, I often write about the experience. Tonight's entry took two and a half pages and as I reread what I wrote, I was filled with peace and hope for the future. |
Lots on my mind..but most importantly I hope He enjoys His birthday :rrose:
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The new baby is a chiweenie, with the biggest floppy ears I have ever seen! She is so clumsy looking, she is cute :) Her name is Ellie Mae! |
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Lucky you! Lucky pup! |
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Yeah, I may already be in love with this sweet face :)
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Spending time on my arts.... Music, painting, crafts... expression is so freeing, no matter its form.
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....meditation ....i should try that again .....and work on my food journal .....makin a lil more progress each day! goal one is to drink more water overall .....n to cut out non diet soda
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